u should see the other guy

(a normal sidewalk in Massachusetts)

[afterthemovie]

hello everyone. my name is harrowhark nonagesimus welcome to my meal. i have never cooked before but god asked me to try because he wants us all to eat & exist in union <3 of course i will oblige him because i harrowhark nonagesimus am the most devout worshipper of the locked tomb and the king undying. first up on the menu is soup. i hate flavours so i didn’t put any salt or anything. but don’t worry i put something better :) haha you guessed it! i sectioned my tibia and put it in the soup :) yeah :) so i can explode people :)

[the-muppet-joker]

Looksmaxxing until I turn into Him

[talleryn]

TLT does kill your gays but like. In a sexy way. They’re haunting the narrative you can’t stop seeing them in the corner of your eye you can’t live without them they’re integrated into your soul but in such a way that they’re gone forever. Where do they end where do you begin. It doesn’t matter because you’re all dying anyway

[sidewalkgotme]

i love that the trop is typically referred to as bury your gays, because none of these gays are getting fucking buried.

Spaceship your gays, or necromantically cannabalise your gays perhaps

reanimate your gays?

[purplelilies]

"that’s not actually Crown’s boyfriend, Nona, it’s her sister, but I don’t think anyone could blame you for getting confused" is a wild line and it's describes their whole t h i n g with terrifying accuracy but the best part is how everything becomes even worse after

[pomegranatefae]

You disassemble John? You disassemble John for eating peanuts and also doing countless atrocities? Oh! Oh! Disintegration for Mercymorn! Disintegration for ten thousand years!

[kleptomaniac-trans-girl]

There's a Doctor Who title generator now :D

Here are some great new episodes that have leaked

[insomniac-dot-ink]

Gideon from Gideon the Ninth was the strongest soldier for her particular fight because only a jock would have the mental fortitude to remain bitchy against the twin forces of Religious Aesthetic and Goth Society

"This shit is stupid," thank you, Gideon, for never going alt

[electrofolk]

[thatfoolinthehat]

Torchwood confounds me, because I legitimately can never tell if it's a good show or not. And it's not even the "it's kinda mid and isn't very strongly written but has a few good episodes" kind of ambiguous, oh, no. It's the "seesawing between the best show you've ever seen and television so bad it makes you want to hurl your TV through the wall" kind of ambiguous. It'll present you with angsty, sort of boring, weirdly sexual and terribly written episodes that make you uncomfortable, mad, and bored all at once, then drop some of the most fascinating concepts and writing and worldbuilding in recent Doctor Who an episode later, then follow it up with ANOTHER incredible episode that absolutely knocks it out of the park character-and-writing-wise with amazing character dynamics and some truly phenomenal conflicts and worldbuilding implications, and THEN finish it off with a season finale so bad you want to erase it from your concept of canon forever and then maybe go hunt down Russel T Davies for sport. There is no in-between. It's like the show is at war with itself over if it wants to be high-quality fiction or the sci-fi-TV-show equivalent of soiled shorts left out in the sun. It's infuriating.

[polarity-disturbed]

I think I made an egregious mistake with conflating the amount of people who liked Torchwood with the amount of people that thought it was good. I have come to the realization that those are not the same in regards to this show.

[polarity-disturbed]

Sorry no, it is REALLY funny to me that in S1E8 of Torchwood (They Keep Killing Suzie), Jack says that Gwen taking Suzie out of the compound is “getting herself fired” like there exists literally any precedent whatsoever for consequences inside this organization

because let us review, in roughly chronological order, the absolutely staggering catalogue of behavior before this action that has apparently not resulted in termination

We are introduced to the entire cast having stolen alien artifacts from work to use in their personal lives, and even after those specific items get returned it’s revealed they ALSO just casually have other stuff. Everyone at Torchwood steals from work like they’re employees at a Spirit Halloween.

Gwen accidentally unleashed an alien organism that killed people through the power of really intense orgasms because she unsafely threw a chisel at another coworker.

Owen used alien technology to stalk and psychologically torment someone outside of work hours which, granted, the guy sucked, but from an HR perspective that sentence alone should have caused the building to implode into a legal singularity.

Ianto secretly smuggled an entire Cyberman into the base, concealed it for who knows how long, continued defending her after she tried converting both the scientist he hired AND Gwen, and somehow retained employment afterward like this was a slightly awkward misunderstanding at a team meeting.

Owen left the keys to Torchwood’s branded SUV sitting in an unlocked vehicle with all of their classified alien tech and sensitive information inside.

Tosh read everyone’s minds without consent and later attempted to sneak her alien girlfriend into the secret underground alien bunker.

and THIS is the environment where Jack suddenly decides “whoa now Gwen, this crosses a line”

my sibling in the cosmos what line.

This organization has the structural integrity of wet cardboard. There is no line. There are vague suggestions of professionalism floating somewhere in the distance like ghosts on the horizon while everyone continues committing increasingly unbelievable workplace violations on company time.

I genuinely do not believe a fireable offense exists at Torchwood unless you perhaps arrive to work on time, emotionally stable, and capable of respecting boundaries, at which point the building itself would probably eject you for not fitting the established ecosystem.

[itsatorchwoodthing]

i love when you start torchwood and you have the assumption that jack is immortal and must have been torchwood’s boss for centuries and then you find out it’s like 6 years

[ino]

reblog this and tell me in the tags, if you could wipe your memory of ONE piece of media (book, film, video game, etc) and experience it again for the first time, what would you choose?

[doctorwhoisadhd]

if i was doctor who writer i would do an episode where the villain is just someone in a gorilla suit. and it would end with the doctor and companion having them tied to a chair scooby doo style and they would take off the head but bwfore you could see who it was it would cut to the doctor and companions shocked faces and then boom credits

[polarity-disturbed]

Torchwood is what happens when your mandatory workplace HR sexual harassment training module gains sentience and decides it wants to become television

[being-of-rain]

This is our brand new science fiction adventure character, he's a scientist and an old man. He's in a TV show called Doctor Who. He's credited as Dr Who. All production documents call him Dr Who. All promotional material calls him Dr Who. The novel adaptations call him Dr Who. The movie adaptations call him Dr Who. The original tie-in fiction calls him Dr Who. And week one of his TV show he's going to meet a guy who's like "What's your name? What do we call you?" and our hero is going to be like "hohoho hehehe you dumb motherfucker. Never talk to me again." And then he's never ever going to give anyone his goddamn name.

[the-muppet-joker]

Time to start MAXMAXXING. I will DO EVERYTHING. BE EVERYTHING. FEEL NOTHING. HOLLOW MYSELF OUT AND BECOME THE PERFECT VESSEL. FROM NOW ON, I AM ONLY EATING CANNED SARDINES AND DRINKINKING MY OWN BATH WATER!!! I WILL BE MEWING AND MOGGING 25 MISERABLE HOURS A DAY!!!!!! FUCK YOU!!!!