Sid the Timid, Brian the DM

Sid, Brian, He/they, kindof a dumbass I mostly post and reblog anything that really catches my attention. :) please message me if youre having a bad time. I'll listen to you vent, please be safe.

[thoradvice]

no matter what happened today, you:

are loved

deserve to eat

are needed & valued

should take care of yourself

have a future

will be okay

[falsedetective]

cake is such an underappreciated band. i can’t believe we brought back low rise flare jeans before we brought back cake in the top 40

[falsedetective]

i’m just saying cake’s music would be widely regarded as so sexy if it wasn’t for all the mariachi horns and vibraslap and the vocalist didn’t always sound like he was explaining his suicide plans to a gun store clerk in sacramento. the world wasn’t ready for them

[digital-morganism-deactivated20]

The fact that it sounds like a dispassionate reading of a terrorist manifesto is a feature

[memecatwings]

soju meme collection

[captain-price-returns]

[quasi-normalcy]

I don't understand how this is even a defence in the age of drone warfare.

[graham-folger]

Or even like... Cannon warfare.

[quasi-normalcy]

Yeah, the Ottomans could have taken this in the fourteenth century.

[blizz4rd1203]

Who the fuck is that thing tolling for

[discofisting]

[feminist-space]

[johanna-swann]

[everydayconman]

The ancient texts were true… They DO have a reaction image for everything…

[the-punforgiven]

I'm just saying, if you're going to worldbuild magic being a "raw, primal force, akin to and interweaving with nature itself" you gotta explain to me why animals don't use it

[the-punforgiven]

I know the normal answer is "they just aren't smart enough for it" but idk I've seen enough media where a character uses a spell in a moment of brain-off panic ilI feel like animals could probably stumble into a spell or two like, accidentally

[the-punforgiven]

Also how funny would it be to see a completely normal regular bear cast magic missile outta nowhere

[the-punforgiven]

Also there is no way ravens wouldn't figure out spells, tbh

They're smart fuckin birds, I believe in them

Either through observing or just figuring shit out ravens could 100% learn how to cast spells I'm sure of it

[the-punforgiven]

Dogs can also cast Magic Missile but every time they do the projectile is shaped like a bone or a stick and they chase after it

[rathayibacter]

group of wizards who ask this in-universe, and after extensive study learn to their surprise that animals are casting spells all the time, just that their magic is so fundamental as to be unrecognizable to humans. turns out the only reason acorns grow on trees is because squirrels keep wishing for them.

[shubbabang]

[noodleddragon]

[socialjusticeinamerica]

[oldmanyaoi-jpeg]

saw a woman going through tsa with a plush creeper backpack and this image materialized perfectly in my mind

[everyday-cutephoto]

[waspsalad]

The long-tailed tailor

A crafty and fluffy kobold, skilled with a needle and thread! She’s up for grabs; her auction can be found here: https://ych.art/auction/195240

[jimbles-archive]

[chillyfeetsteak]

a few doors down from me my neighbors have a squirrel bar nailed to the tree in front of the sidewalk, not exactly this but something like this:

it's been there for years and they never "stock" it so it's just sitting there. anyway, i thought it would be cute to make a little squirrel out of sculpey and leave it on one of the stools in the middle of the night. i also made a little sculpey beer bottle with its own label.

it lasted exactly one day and now it is gone. it didn't fall off, i stuck it on with tape. what do you think happened to it? your most fantastical and wrong answers only, please

[chillyfeetsteak]

HUGE NEWS HUGE UPDATE

squirrel REAPPEARED today... NOW PAINTED

[chillyfeetsteak]

i wanted to provide another update because there has been more activity at the nut bar

a few weeks ago i sculpted a new patron:

and put him in the bar. the next day he was gone. a couple weeks later he reappeared painted... but with ANOTHER new guest: a 3D printed squirrel based on the first one i sculpted (with a bottle!)

:)

[freshydip]

[cadaverella]

Chewin' on the labia for six hours like a steak from cracker barrel

[spunsugarmusings]

"Dracula Flow" Sentence Starters

Sentence starters taken from plummcorp records' Dracula Flow series, entries 1-5. TW for profanity, drugs and alcohol, parental neglect, and sexual references. Change pronouns and tenses as necessary, and enjoy!

"This shit ain't nothin' to me, man."

"I had to do it to them, snipe."

"I'm not loyal to anybody, I'm a demon!"

"I have no loyalty for anyone, never did, never will."

"Shorty chose to be with a demon, sounds like her problem to me!"

"I have no sympathy, I live for this shit."

"Yeah, we gettin' that Pirate Bay, alien shishkebab, cordyceps money!"

"I hope them aliens are real, so that I have more things to fuck!"

"I just popped a whole garbanzo bean, fuck you mean?"

"I'm him, I been him, I will continue to be him."

They thought they could stop a demon, I'm back!"

"The zaza got me speakin' Esperanto."

"I don't even know who I am anymore, I'm gettin' too much money."

"Can you remind me who I am?"

"Get the president on the phone now, I fronted him a brick, I need my money."

"I'm moving different."

"They must have amnesia, they forgot that I'm him."

"I'm on them Broward County Tic-Tacs!"

"I don't give a fuck if I go blind, I don't need to see the price tag anyways!"

'"We're smokin' filtered crack, you stupid piece of shit!"

"I'll fuckin' kill you!"

"Call that pussy The Matrix, because I'm in this bitch and I can't get out."

"There are consequences to your crimes against Dracula!"

"I threw diamonds at the strip clubs under the Great Pyramids!"

"Tied the ops to the back of a Trackhawk and dragged 'em around the block for 24-hours."

"Motherfucker looked like a Resident Evil 5 campaign extra after we was done with him!"

"These cops are interrogating me about an ounce of weed, as if I didn't kill an Applebee's hostess two miles away."

"Reach for my neck, you'll get turned into an example!"

"I have seen the Magna Carta, I've seen the Eye of Horus, I was flippin' bricks for Mansa Musa before y'all even became a type-1 civilization!"

"They needed a stealth soldier, so I put my hands on the hibachi hot plate at Benihana and burned my fuckin fingerprints off. They will NOT find me."

"If I had a dollar for every time they said I gave a shit, I'd be broke, 'cause I don't give a shit!"

"I've got more percs than their are stars in the Leo cluster."

"How can I be homophobic? I blew his fucking brains out!"

"This Luger will send a Christian to Hell."

"I have no morals or belief system."

"I have no spirituality or anything that gives my life meaning or structure."

"They ask me to shoot, I do it!"

"I have no character."

"I fuck like it's for survival."

"I'm so violent and sick in the head, I can't tell if I want to kill my ops or fuck 'em!"

"Got a ruptured eardrum from having my ear to the streets for so fucking long."

"On a full moon, I'll fuck anything!"

"I'm a street creature."

"The weed will have you in purgatory, screaming for eternity."

"You will relive every key mistake you've ever made in your life, over and over and over again"

"They told me I wouldn't shake the city, so I shook that shit like a crying toddler."

"I'm a product of the gutter."

"The bugs are back."

"The worms in my head won't shut the hell up."

"They're telling me to go absolutely fucking stupid on 'em."

"I don't even need to brandish the nine!"

"Threw the opp into the particle collider, watched his ass get pulled apart into a million pieces."

"Turned his sorry ass into some data."

"I don't wanna kill them, shut up! I don't wanna kill anybody!"

"I ain't gon' lie, I'm kind of feeling myself right now, gang."

"I come from a low frequency environment, and I've only used cash my entire life."

"The only time I ever held a card was when I borrowed my cousin's Bank of America debit card to slice open a funnel cake at the county fair."

"I got the kid's ears pierced at two years old and she already knows what Red Bull tastes like!"

"I even wore my nice 8 Ball jean jacket to the last court hearing!"

"I've been fully consumed by hatred, jealousy and lust."

"I can't help but get thrown into a violent trance at the slightest hint of criticism or pushback."

"My impulsive nature causes conflict at any given time."

"I wept for there were no more worlds to conquer."

"I got to where I am today through violence."

"I have no backbone, I'm loyal to whoever pays the most."

"My character is so flawed, the only time I ever stood 10 toes on anything, was on the opp's throat."

Cops wanna detain me for aggressively hitting the claw machine."

"I'm trying to explain to him that we are all just atoms so he might as well let me go."

"You can't even imagine what the fuck I've been through."

"Humans will never understand their true abilities."

"Why the fuck did we kill off the Neanderthals? Those idiots could have easily worked construction and doubled our profits."

"The day I go broke will be the day hell freezes over!"

"Get your bitch ass up before I slap the dog shit out of you!"

"I can feel the fungi munching on my brain."

"The only time I feel something is when I look."

"I'm a fucking junkie cannibal, all I wanna do is sip mud and eat my ops."