I'm not just a raccoon, I'm their Queen!

Leave your trash bins without lids to receive +10 blessings.

[queer-transboi]

i fucking love these guys

[bedforddaze]

Mattys snapchat

03/04/2016

[thimblesneverland]

Like all joking aside if the Gotham writers kill Jerome again I’m suing those assholes for full custody

[hunky-dory-rat]

[alightwhendarknessfell]

Petition for ya’ll to stop sleeping on Palaye Royale

[idiot-in-a-coat]

just gonna leave this here.

[ghost-roads]

has this been done yet

[fandomsandfeminism]

Agshahahahahahaha

[jedavu]

Hummingbirds Pack A Colorful Punch

[zachdoeslife-deactivated2020040]

Important discoveries being made over here.

[cymbal-5-deactivated20240905]

oh my god😂

[corny-calypso]

longlifebrooke

[thesporkidentity]

[audio transcription: So I’m sure we’ve all seen the videos recently of these things *squeezes the honking chicken several times* little chickens. Um. Well, so I discovered recently that if you pull the head off and then pull the noisemaker out it’s the right size that you can stick it in the end of a trombone mouthpiece. And then *deep breath* *the loudest, most horrible blatting noises* Yeah.]

[forbiddenseason]

Has science gone too far

[godfreysteel]

bill skarsgård ‒ simon and the oaks. (2011)

[silence--is--violent]

Fuck me up fam

[diegolunadaily]

Diego Luna for Estilo DF Magazine

[ithelpstodream]

[meaningsofthestars]

Me w ppl I don’t have a crush on: babe, baby, hun, dear, love, light of my life Me w ppl I have a crush on: pleased to make your acquaintance good sir, my good colleague.

[glamoroussource]

Emma Watson © Bernardo Doral // Elle Spain

[socialnerdism]

[silence--is--violent]

me: [at work, ringing up two parents and their toddler who's sitting in the cart trying to get their attention]

toddler, quietly, waving hands around: [incomprehensible]

mom: what?

toddler, even quieter: [incomprehensible]

dad: you gotta speak up, bud

toddler, at full volume: FUCK.

[spudsexuall]

My boyfriend talks in his sleep and because he’s bilingual, he says some hilarious/weird/sometimes creepy shit. I ask him every morning if he remembers saying this stuff and he has no idea about any of it. 

Here are some of my favorites:

-”Babe, can you please turn down the brightness of your skin” -After stealing all of the blankets: “This is my right as a human” -After I take the blankets back: “I don’t want your freedom, America. Just blanket” -Sometimes he just says “Hello?” as if he’s answering a phone call -One night he just said “Cabbage” which is weird because he doesn’t know the english word for that when he’s awake.  -After spooning me: “You have a nice butt” -”Who is that in the corner?” (terrifying) -”Watch out for the red lady” (even more terrifying) -Sometimes he will say things in German and it sounds like he’s speaking Parseltongue -One time I actually think he said something in Parseltongue -One time he talked about buying a ticket to “everywhere” and then just said “hello?” after two minutes of silence -And my all time favorite: ”This is MY yogurt, Satan”