it took so much out of me loving you

"nothing ever ends poetically. It ends and we turn it into poetry. all that blood was never once beautiful. It was just red."

[eroticmoss]

[thelovejournals]

God knows I didn’t mean to fall in love with her.

Ernest Hemingway, A Farewell to Arms (via wordsnquotes)

[girlyy-lovee]

[theliteraryjournals]

There were things I wanted to tell him. But I knew they would hurt him. So I buried them, and let them hurt me.

Jonathan Safran Foer, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

[silent-breaths]

01/03

I think of you and I feel the warmth of New Year’s Eve whisky shots.

/r.c./

[thequotejournals]

Come and kiss me and let’s forget.

F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Ice Palace 

[silent-breaths]

1:24 a.m.

And I felt your head fall into my collarbones, hair touching the nape of my neck and noses touching. Cheeks folding into the landscape of our faces.  I could taste the wine in your breath as your lips found mine, and soft kisses more breath lingering between us and some slipping away, but more being caught in-between silent words.

/r.c/

[silent-breaths]

Your lips had this taste when the winter air would filter through between ours as they  touched. But I find myself in a perpetual state of almosts, where I almost remember everything about you. For as quickly as memories flood my mind, I find them fleeting, like every other little part of you.

/r.c/

[silent-breaths]

These Days

These days you no longer come unexpected like you once  would, coaxing yourself down my throat into my windpipes, causing me to choke on my own air. 

Some days I allow myself to think about you, occasionally tell myself it’s okay to miss you. There was one day  I hated you for forgetting, not understanding. But I do now.

Most days thoughts of you are faded out among others, shaded in-between memories. These days I ask for you and you come, hesitant and reluctant but you do, eventually.

/r.c/

[silent-breaths]

我的心疼得似乎海洋裡 的水都流走了。流到哪 裡去，我也不太清楚。

[silent-breaths]

It Rained, Today

Parallel streaks scratch the sidewalk intersecting they interrupt the segmented squares as rain hits the surface and is absorbed then regurgitated from the floor.

/r.c/

[uneventfulness]

[silent-breaths]

Sharing A Seat With You For 3 Hours

Heartbeats per minute increasing as you and palpitations morph into one and they continue to increase exponentially as they exit my body and get absorbed by yours. And skin uncomfortable, you laugh into my collarbones and mine intertwine they dance with yours they exhale, they seep and pour out from each rib; physical bodies, they touch and I move away yet find myself not further but even closer uncontrollably, still.

/r.c/

[silent-breaths]

The thing is, we didn't fall apart because love failed us. We broke each other, and reached a point where we no longer knew how to save ourselves. When we realized our love was drained of its passion, and knew only how to manifest itself through pain; and when we could comprehend healing only through hurting each other — that’s when, and why it happened.

Excerpt from I’m Still Trying To Heal Us, /r.c/

[silent-breaths]

Words flow like milk and honey from between your lips. They pour through mine like the gushing rain.

/r.c/

[bunlly]

[silent-breaths]

I can no longer remember how to be selfless. But the thing is, I'm not sure I want to.

Excerpt from Sad Confessions I’ll Never Tell You, /r.c/