Jana

They/Them 22 I don’t post much on here but I like Homestuck, OFMD, TOH, FNAF, and more. Mostly bpdposting

[sillyloserlesbian]

I want to watch Obsession with my fp and take a shot every time Nikki acts like me. We’d be blackout drunk and we would need our stomachs pumped

[sillyloserlesbian]

Being an autistic lesbian is so isolating. I can never find a gf because I’ve been treated like my mere presence makes people uncomfortable so I don’t even know how to start a conversation now. And if I actually become friends with a girl and we get closer and I ask her out I will probably get rejected and lose a friend too.

[cozydogbed]

maybe one day i won't feel like a stray. or a mutt that keeps being returned to the shelter after too many failed families that said i was too much or not enough.

seeing glowing faces pass by, grinning ear to ear as they take the spunky, shiny and new puppies home. watching the process pass by every day. again and again, getting passed on by better and newer puppies. who'd take their time looking at the isolated and anxious dog in the back of the kennel anyway.

but theres that tiny, tiny hope in the back of my mind. a tiny warm glimmer of hope in my chest that maybe I'll be chosen for real this time. that someone warm and kind and soft spoken. someone considerate and gentle will notice the coldness that resides in the kennel I'm confined in and see past the isolation and antisocial nature of my demeanor.

that they'll see past what i am now, see who i once was and who i can become, given the right loving hand.

maybe one day i won't be a thing to have in a home like a toy to forget about. but a companion. someone to share things with, to love and be loved like it's easy. like it's home.

maybe one day I'll belong. and I'll be the cold and distant dog, turned into a bright and warm puppy again just because someone kind and considerate saw past what i could be useful for. and I'd be loved just as i am. I'd be a companion to the best owner. love and devotion would go both ways.

maybe one day I'll be a lucky dog with a blue ribbon. but for now, I'm just a dirty stray cooped up in a cold kennel as i watch the brighter and happier puppies get chosen. until it's my turn to be the one who gets chosen.

⋆˚🐾 𐂯ྀིྀི ˖°⋆˚🐾 𐂯ྀིྀི ˖°⋆˚🐾 𐂯ྀིྀི ˖°⋆˚🐾 𐂯ྀིྀི ˖°

[belxved-musings]

I get nervous and scared like a stray dog when anyone comes too close. You show me love and I bite because I don't understand the difference between love and hate anymore. The lines have blurred and all I know is hurting.

[thatisofetch]

when i say my love language is physical touch, don't ask "but you hate people touching you", that's exactly why it is my love language. it is reserved for people i truly love and feel comfortable with.

[sillyloserlesbian]

I only let 5 people touch me out of everyone I know

[iveedoodle]

A queer platonic relationship? heh.... where i come from we call that a moirail

[izzynstuffz]

pretty sure im allo but i would fuck with a qpr HEAVY

[sillyloserlesbian]

Yeah like I do experience romantic attraction but also alterous/queerplatonic attraction. Ideally I’d want a QPR and a romantic relationship separately

[shushututu]

People seriously underestimate the long term effects of constant loneliness

"why are you so weird?" Idk, maybe because being completely isolated while growing up has destroyed my brain and now I'm nothing more than a human-mimicking creature that bases all of my actions on what I think is normal human behavior rather than just doing things naturally

[nxtar]

"all you do is sleep" it's either that or I kill myself, idk what to tell you there buddy.

[distortion-dollie]

[muttpoetry]

"match my freak" match my devotion match my loyalty match my love match my yearning match my ache match my obsession match my need for you

[sillyloserlesbian]

Unfortunately, I’m only attracted to people who think that being my partner is a worse fate than death.

Otherwise I’m completely uninterested.

[sillyloserlesbian]

When my SOUL (Borderline Personality Disorder) makes me ruin every relationship I have in one night.

[sillyloserlesbian]

Magnus looks like withered Kellin Quinn

[gauntletqueen]

IT FUCKIN YURI DAAAAAAAAAAAY

[sillyloserlesbian]

Alright I need to kiss a girl

[monsterfucker-molloy]

[darcymolloy]