[dankxsinatra]

[roxylalonde]

[gammadoppler]

i hate it when the ball is in my court get that shit out of here

[rabbitrah]

Me thinking why a whale (big) would eat krill (small) and then I remembered rice (yum)

[rabbitrah]

so few people appreciate the wisdom I have to offer.........

[apisashla]

I scrolled back as far as I could on the tag for “The Cask of Amontillado” and I still can’t find a single reason why everyone’s posting about it all of the sudden

[whythebigpaws]

Look a little bit further, in the very back

[wordfather]

im sooooo good at being all snug and cozy in my bed they should pay me for this. i should get paid for being here. i shouldn't have to have a job.

[driftwoodsix]

still living with my parents as an adult is just like. i'm grateful to not have to pay for groceries. i have to get out of here. i'm grateful to have a roof over my head and not have to pay rent. i have to get out of here. i'm grateful to not have to worry about sending out endless job applications that all lead to nowhere. i have to get out of here. i'm grateful i'm grateful i'm so fucking grateful. i have to get out of here

[lavenderlemniscate]

feels like im always recovering. when do i get to live

[lavenderlemniscate]

"it's okay to rest for as long as you need from burnout" how long is it actually going to take though. there's stuff i wanna do.

[yappacadaver]

Doudou gets in trouble for saying “AWAWA”

[bunjywunjy]

[3liza]

[annadeef]

Pray for my cat. Nothing wrong with her she's just dumb.

[annadeef]

Front facing A from Queen Lotti herself

[whatcoloristhatcat]

black with low white spotting

[thepoisonroom]

loudly going "YOU'RE GOOD YOU'RE GOOD" to myself to ward off the memory of every embarrassing thing i've ever done

[elmerseason-deactivated-deactiv]

[0gl1tch0]

I actually learned a fun therapy trick for this!

The statute of limitations on arson is 6 years.

So whenever I remember an embarrassing or shameful thing I’ve done, I ask myself if it was worse than arson. If it wasn’t, and it was 6 or more years ago, I forgive myself.

Also just the comedic shock of going “well, that was a stupid and mean thing I said, but 6 years is the statute of limitations on arson” helps.

[commiefaggoth]

so embarrassing to watch yourself become obsessed with a character that feels tailor made for you specifically to become obsessed with. feels like i fell into a trap made just for me. like damn they got me. those are all the things i like and go crazy for

[wordfather]

im gonna keep it real with you smash mouth. im tried of how the years start coming and they dont stop coming

[kaijuno]

Cats have to put up with being picked up and getting kissies and being cradled like the little baby and it’s so funny to me because like. They chose that. They domesticated themselves

[kaijuno]

"I suppose I shall tolerate the kisses from mama and papa... it will result in my kin 2000 years from now getting treats and scratchy posts for free..."

[kaijuno]

And it will make me cry forever and ever that the first recorded cat name was "Sweetie"

[firefox-official]

DO NOT sleep during the day. Youll be like What the hell later

[firefox-official]

oh man i say that but then i lay down all cozy …

[firefox-official]

What the hell

[lepidopteragirl]

deadbeat group chat member

[cher3pakhi]

just remember, one day you're going to open tumblr and the crabs will be raving like they never have before

[naamahdarling]

We will meet here again on that day. This is my sacred promise to you.

[weirdplutoprince]

Well, well, well. If it isn't the consequences of someone else's actions that I am directly impacted and severely affected by