Thinking of that random 3yr old who had a pocket full of pseudolegendary dragons in B2W2...
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@sillytimecentral
Thinking of that random 3yr old who had a pocket full of pseudolegendary dragons in B2W2...
Chapter 2 — Astrolane Dabbles in Italian Brainrot
summary — Astrolane is lowkey kind of a chud.
tw / cw — mentions of injuries & swearing
a/n — tung tung tung sahur is mentioned in this chapter, for you triple T fans.
wc — 1.9k+
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(y/n) let out a breath she felt like she'd been holding since that goddamn beam snapped and crushed not only her leg, but her hopes for a normal night. After getting dropped off by a guilt-ridden purple, ninja... cybertronian..? Robot? She wasn't too sure what he was, but it wasn't exactly on her Sunday bingo card, but hey, at least she wasn't sitting in a puddle of her own lunch anymore!
She looked at the house. Porch lights off. No engine hum. The coast is clear.
She began the treacherous journey from the slope of her driveway to her house. It was less "sneaking" and more of a rhythmic, agonizing hop. Every time her (very much broken) leg scraped a hair of grass, she swore she was seeing stars of white, agonizing pain. "Chat, am I cooked?" She asked nobody in particular, at this point, she was half-expecting to hear a twitch donation go off in her head. "I'm about to walk—" She started, before wheezing in pain, "straight into my own goddamn funeral. If the internal bleeding doesn't kill me, ugh, Astrolane's lecture is."
She reached the door, twisted the nob, and—— SCREEEEEEEECH. The hinges screeched like a banshee having a bad hair day, she closed her eyes and slowly nodded. If he's awake i'm actually dead. Deceased. No longer with the living.
She hobbled into the foyer, bracing for a very angry Astrolane, but was strangely met with silence. Huh, is he asleep? He usually doesn't enter recharge unless i'm actually in the house... Blue light flickered from the living room, accompanied by a beat so repetitive it felt like an attack caused by a rave.
There sat Astrolane in his holoform, looking less like a proud ex-decepticon and more like a college dropout. He was surrounded by a fortress of Big Mac boxes, and on the 70-inch TV, of all things to do a TikTok dance, she was NOT expecting Tung Tung Tung Sahur of all characters to be hitting the griddy.
(y/n) lowkey just stood there, kind of like the man standing emoji, leaning against the doorframe, covered in warehouse soot and dried tears. The sheer absurdity of the scene made her feel like she was in a gacha life skit or something. It felt so absurd, that the pain in her leg felt numb.
Astro shrieked, a very un-deception-like sound, and did an (attempt) of a backflip off the sofa, landing in a pile of dirty laundry. "AGH, SLAG! Kid! I- I was just- the algorithm! It's a form of human infiltration and trickery!" He scrambled to find the remote, his face turning a shade of red that matched the McDonalds logo.
As he clumsily turned off the TV, he actually turned to look at her.
He saw the way she was leaning all her weight on a mangled, splinted leg. The "lighthearted dad" vanished instantly. His expression went cold, his brows furrowing into a look of pure, terrifying authority.
He pointed a finger toward the back door. "Outside. Now."
(y/n) didn't even try to argue, because she knew it was pointless. She turned, and did a hybrid of hopping and dragging herself through the kitchen. Behind her, she heard the sizzle of static as his holoform disappeared. By the time she hit the backyard, Astrolane was already in his Cybertronian form, a towering mecha, not as tall as Optimus Prime or Megatron persay, but he was still VERY TALL compared to your average human.
Astrolane towered, his form practically shadowing her, well their, whole house. The heavy clank of his gauntlets as he crossed his arms sounded like a bell tolling.
"Young lady," He boomed, his optics boring into her own eyes. "Explain. What in the name of the pits happened?"
"Okay, look, before you go full Optimus on me," (y/n) started, pinching the bridge of her nose as the adrenaline finally started to ebb, leaving only a dull, throbbing ache behind. "This time? It actually wasn't my fault. Total freak accident—and by 'freak accident,' I am referring to my leg being crushed."
She added it casually, like she was talking about a bad grade or a spilled soda.
Astrolane's response wasn't a shout. It was a heavy, metallic clunk as his jaw-plating dropped. He vented a massive cloud of steam from his shoulder pipes, a long, drawn-out hiss of disbelief.
"Crushed?" he repeated, his voice dropping from 'angry decepticon sergeant' to 'horrified girl dad.' He dropped into a deep crouch, his massive knee-joints whining as he brought his optics level with her. "Kid, you are made of carbon and squishy bits. You don't just 'crush' a part of yourself and then walk home to tell me about it!"
He reached out, his massive metallic finger hovering inches away from her messy splint. He looked like he wanted to pick her up but was terrified he'd accidentally snap another bone. "And who did this? This splinting... it's actually decent. Did you find a YouTube tutorial while you were lying in the dirt?"
"I... watched a lot of Grey's Anatomy," (y/n) lied through her teeth, feeling a twinge of guilt. "Look, can we just go? It's starting to hurt for real now."
Astrolane's optics softened. "Right. Humans. Fragile. I forgot for a second." He carefully slipped a massive servo under her, lifting her with the gentleness of someone handling a glass ornament. "We're going to the 24-hour clinic. I'll stay in the alt-mode in the parking lot."
"Astro, can you change the radio station? This sounds horrid." (y/n) bluntly asked, leaning her head back against the upholstery. She was currently sprawled against the backseat of his alt-mode, her splinted leg propped up on a pile of gym bags she'd scavenged from the floor.
The radio was currently blasting a generic, high-energy 80s synth-pop track that Astrolane seemed to think was "peak human culture."
Horrid?! This is 'The Touch,' (y/n)! It is a classic of the genre!" Astrolane's voice crackled through the dashboard speakers, sounding genuinely offended. "I thought it would be... inspirational. Given your current structural stability."
"It's giving 'Back to the Future,' you old geezer..." She deadpanned, "and I have a headache. Put on a podcast or something. Or just... silence. Silence is good."
The radio clicked off with a mechanical beep. "Fine. Rest your 'processors.' But don't think for a nanoclick that we're finished with the 'Grey's Anatomy' story. I've seen that show over your shoulder, kid. They spend more time crying in elevators than actually teaching people how to apply a field-grade splint."
(y/n) bit her lip, staring out the window as the streetlights of Mowtown blurred past. "I'm a fast learner."
"You're a lucky learner," Astrolane countered, his engine purring with a low, protective rumble as he swerved—much too smoothly—around a pothole. "If I find out you were doing parkour off warehouse rafters again, I'm welding your bedroom door shut. I mean it. Iron-clad lockdown."
"I wasn't doing parkour," she muttered, which was technically the truth. She was just standing there being an (unfortunate and unintentional) target for a mischievous ninja.
They pulled into the neon-lit parking lot of the 24-hour Urgent Care. It was remarkably empty, save for a lone ambulance and a car with a flat tire.
"We're here," Astro said, his voice dripping with a low, serious frequency. "I'm parking in the spot closest to the emergency exit. My scanners are locked on your vitals. If your heart rate spikes or I hear you yell, I'm coming through that wall. I don't care if I'm in my alt-mode or not— I will be the most high-tech 'compact car' that waiting room has ever seen."
The smell of hospital-grade antiseptic and the fluorescent hum of the waiting room were finally behind her. After three hours of (y/n) trying to explain to a very suspicious nurse why she was at an abandoned warehouse at midnight ("I was... looking for my cat. He's very adventurous."), she was finally discharged with a heavy plaster cast and a pair of crutches that felt like they were designed for someone twice her height.
The moment she hobbled out the sliding glass doors, a sleek car in the corner of the lot flashed its high beams twice—a digital "welcome back."
The drive home was silent, save for the occasional click of (y/n)'s cast hitting the interior door panel. Astrolane didn't say a word until the garage door groaned shut behind them, sealing them away from the rest of Mowtown.
With a familiar hiss of hydraulics and shifting plates, the car expanded, rising upward until Astrolane stood in his true form, towering over the oil-stained concrete. He didn't wait for her to reach for her crutches; he simply scooped her up, cast and all, with a precision that only a giant robot could manage.
"Bed. Now," he commanded, though the 'scary commander' voice was mostly gone, replaced by a weary rumble.
"I can walk, Astro," (y/n) muttered, though she didn't fight him as he carried her through the kitchen and up the stairs.
"You 'walked' yourself into a fractured tibia and a three-hour medical lecture. My scanners indicate your pride is currently at zero percent, and your energy levels aren't much higher." He carefully deposited her onto her bed, moving his massive servos with surprising grace to avoid knocking over her bedside lamp.
He stood there for a second, his head nearly touching the ceiling fan, his optics dimming to a soft, low-power glow.
"The doctor said six weeks," Astrolane said, his voice echoing in the small room. "Six weeks of no scouting, no 'cat-hunting,' and absolutely no parkour."
"I know, I know," (y/n) sighed, staring down at the pristine white of her cast. It looked so boring. It needed doodles—maybe she'd let Chandler draw something on it.
"I'm serious, kid," Astro leaned in, his mechanical face-plates shifting into a look that was almost a frown. "I don't like it. The garden. Your classmate's 'bad luck.' This warehouse incident. It feels like the universe is trying to glitch out on us."
(y/n) pulled her blanket up, the weight of the cast making her leg feel like it was made of lead. She thought about Shadow X—the way he panicked, the way he genuinely seemed to care about her "squishy" human parts.
"Maybe the universe is just having a bad week," she murmured, closing her eyes.
"Hmph. If the universe has another 'bad week,' I'm moving us to the moon," Astrolane grumbled, reaching out a giant finger to flick her light switch off. "Recharge your processors, runt. We'll figure out how to navigate 'Life on One Leg' tomorrow."
As his heavy footsteps retreated down the hall,each one making her desk trinkets rattle, (y/n) stared into the dark. Her leg throbbed, her house was partially wrecked, and she was officially grounded by a giant alien robot.
"I'll get my revenge on whoever destroyed my garden," she whispered to the ceiling, the words feeling a lot less cool than they did this morning. "Right after I take a twelve-hour nap."
note — sorry this took so long to post. school has been kicking my ass
[ please reblog, like, and comment! ]
are there certain transformer characters you guys want to see mentioned or cameo in My MCB x TF reader insert, Divergent?
Hiclae hiclar hiclar👋👋👋👋
hi oomf hi hi hi hihihu 😮😮😮😮😮
Hi guys! Currently working on the next chapter of Divergence/Divergent , would you guys prefer just a 1k chapter, or would you guys want to wait a little more for a longer (3k-5k) chapter? 👀
Hello! I'm just curious with the chapter 1 (mcb) you've posted, I could've sworn I read it from somewhere before- wattpad perhaps? I tried looking for it but found none twt... Is it okay for me to ask if you posted it somewhere else?
of course anon! I have in fact posted this fanfic to both wattpad and ao3 as well!
Here are the links if you would like to find my fic on wattpad and ao3!
Read S1EP0 - Ruined Yards and Twisted Parts from the story Divergent (Metal Cardbot x Child!Reader) by exepilled (silly...
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapter 1 — Ruined Yards and Twisted Parts
summary — Shadow X meets our protagonist in a... less than fortunate way.
tw / cw — swearing, injuries, blood, & vomiting, detailed descriptions of the following!
a/n — Takes place during both S1 Ep 6 and S1 Ep 7. Haha. 67!!!!!!!!!!! 🤖🤖🤖🤖 Cardbots and Cybertronians may have SOME similar terminology, but their terminology/culture is still vastly different from eachother.
wc — 3.9k+
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Doodle cuz he’s pretty cool
Player in Phighting!!
This is my design of Player for a fanfic of mine from AO3!!
https://archiveofourown.org/works/67032994/chapters/173060260
(fan… content??? since it’s an edit 🥹) top 10 reasons why hatred and player don’t get along (besides hatred traumatizing them) yes. take this abomination of an edit. i’m sorry to anyone who witnesses this..
https://x.com/playerpilled/status/1948023606401003919?s=61
Player in Phighting!!
This is my design of Player for a fanfic of mine from AO3!!
https://archiveofourown.org/works/67032994/chapters/173060260
um i can’t mention them so… this is my contribution to next step with my fanart…. go my player 🥹🫡🫡
omg 2 new chapters posted… more fanart! teehee 🥹🥹 what do you mean half of the drawings are player as a plum creature. no they aren’t 😓😓 okay maybe they are but—
yes i have a wattpad account. yes i make fanart for my favorite blocktales fic by @gremlinviewer … yes i was born 15 minutes ago stupid event/different timeline where sunny gets isekai’d to phighting when they wake up instead of seeing Terry! they are a confused lad but still have their cutieful charms, and manage to be joyous in this world as well :3 (yes this is exepilled loll)
Player in Phighting!!
This is my design of Player for a fanfic of mine from AO3!!
https://archiveofourown.org/works/67032994/chapters/173060260
um i can’t mention them so… this is my contribution to next step with my fanart…. go my player 🥹🫡🫡
fanart for @existence-is-a-pain87 BT x Forsaken / KPDH au 🥹🥹 it’s so peak
ummmm ewewew sorry if these designs are ASS i like doing things on a whim… go my first batch of SFOTH humanized designs! 🤣🤣🤣🤣 help me,,,, ghostwalker will be next
awww look at the little skrunklies ‼️‼️
Aww, they're so cute together! It's nice that the Player has such a sweet protector, I can see why they'd become so close. Plus, the dynamic between the Player and an invincible bodyguard is something that'd be really interesting to explore. It's not like your vessels can protect you better than someone who can't die or be injured lol. Thank you for sending this to me! :D <3
hey guys little reminder, i deactivated my madness central account a while back!! i’m still on tumblr and use this alt acc!! i’m not lying please trust me this is my actual alt, some of my irl classmates found the account and i was scared they were gonna make fun of me so i deactivated it lol ☹️
imagine if instead of it being called a sip it was as called a suck. can I have a suck of water? 🤨
consider a capybara pokémon
CAPYBARA !!!!