silver-lined heart

my hurtling-towards-thirty ramblings. came to tumblr for the LBD, stayed for gifs of Doctor Who.

[silver-linedheart]

https://www.sportsweardb.top/??a=13291640

NBA Jersey 24 Hours Savings Event Up 80% OFF! Only $ 25.99!

[princessnijireiki]

https://twitter.com/archeometrie/status/1170031822614474752?s=12

[tiktoks-we-like]

[joshpeck]

there is absolutely no way to predict how this video is going to end

[nookisms]

There is exactly one way but none of us noticed it

[somecutething]

There seems to be someone in this slipper....

[armandyke]

Summer Olympics: Who can run the fastest? :) Who can swim the fastest? :) Who can do the best somersault? :) 

Winter Olympics: WHO CAN MAKE IT TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS ICE SLIDE OF DEATH AND SURVIVE?? WHO CAN GET AROUND THE RINK WITHOUT GETTING THEIR HANDS SLICED OFF BY EVERYONE ELSE’S FEET BLADES?? CAN THIS GUY DO A 1080 DEGREE FLIP WITHOUT DYING?? 

[legionoftuna]

Summer Triathlon: Don’t run too fast, you have to save your energy for a swim and a bike ride! :)

Winter Biathlon: I see you’ve been skiing for five miles now here’s your gun

[laureninlilly]

So my Dad and brother took separate cars to dinner tonight, and this happened.

[bowlingforwhoop]

they look like they are arguing about who is going to go home and change

[laureninlilly]

Oh, they were.

Jake: You’ve got to be kidding me Dad: You SAW me walk through the kitchen on my way to pick up your sister! Jake: No seriously do you have an extra shirt in your car this is ridiculous

[laureninlilly]

Oh my god they’re gonna kill me they didn’t want to even walk into the restaurant together let alone have this many people reblog this photo

[laureninlilly]

Honestly I’m not deleting my Tumblr solely in the hopes that this post one day hits 1 million notes

[acidgrime]

It is so close.

[alicentpark]

lizzo passionately playing her flute, stopping for a hot second to yell BITCH and returning to play is just so powerful

[thenordroom]

Colorful London home

THENORDROOM.COM - INSTAGRAM - PINTEREST - SUPPORT THE BLOG

[gallusrostromegalus]

So while I was getting my haircut, the lady asked me if I had other plans for the day and I said:

“I’m just going to pick up the boy from daycare and then it’s date night.”

And the lady says “Oh! How old is he?”

“He’s three.”

“Mine too! Where are you registering him for kindergarten it’s such a hassle-”

And that’s when I realized I said “boy” and not “dog” because I always think of Charlie as “good boy” but this slip up has lead to a miscommunication.

The lady is now 6 minutes into a clearly needed rant about how unnecessarily complex shopping for schools is, esp when you have a neurodivergent child, so I can’t just tell her that Charlie is a dog because then she’ll feel awkward for unloading on me and she clearly has enough going on.

So the rest of the haircut became a game of “how much can I say about Charlie without revealing that he is not a human child?” And the answer is “enough to cover a half hour hair appointment, quite possibly several hours worth if I’m specific enough”

[gallusrostromegalus]

“is he very verbal?”

“It really depends on who he’s with. He’s very quiet at he but won’t shut up if he’s at the park or has a friend over.”

“was it hard to potty-train him?”

“he’s adopted, but I was genuinely amazed at how good he already was with hygene and potty stuff.”

“mine’s just obsessed with paw patrol and Frozen, drives me crazy!”

“I imagine. Charlie is colorblind so he’s not as into tv, but he always wants a toy if I take him anywhere with them.”

“oh gosh the toys! And the kids are so rough on them!”

“yeah Charlie can destroy a stuffed animal in about 2 minutes, so I only buy him the really cheap ones.”

“Does he throw tantrums when they break?”

“Not really. It’s meditative, really, taking them apart. He has hysterics if the cat takes his toys though. Runs downstairs and cries at me until I retrieve it because he’s not tall enough to get it out of the cat tree.”

[gallusrostromegalus]

The Very Good Boy in question, Charleston Chew.

(if you want to read more of my much weirder adventures, I have pre-orders for my book on Patreon right now: https://www.patreon.com/gallusrostromegalus )

[krwzprtt]

[bob-belcher]

[millennial-review-deactivated20]

[expelliarmus]

David and Catherine have got a new business…

[internbucky-deactivated20180804]

i’m crying oh gosh

[terribleenigma-deactivated20150]

TUMBLR PROF ANNOUNCEMENT: If you are trans or nonbinary and you are in the same situation as the student above, email your professors before class starts. I understand that it might be uncomfortable, but generally professors are absolutely happy to accommodate you. I know I always will be!

If your professor does not respond positively, contact the Dean or the campus LGBT+ resource center with a copy of the email and show them that you are concerned about gender discrimination in the classroom. 

[internbucky-deactivated20180804]

Also this is a link to the template I used to write this email, and I’ve seen another similar template going around, and this was extremely helpful.

[aisnotforally]

just a reminder that this is an option for you folks! i did it and all my teachers replied within a few hours saying that it was okay. you can do this! school does not have to be painful.

[killin-it-captain]

Reblogging because everyone should see this.  C:

[what-fresh-hell-can-this-be]

[deducecanoe-deactivated20161213]

ITS A DOCUMENTARY

[percyhoneybee]

ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, TIME FOR SOME LEARNIN SO SIT OUR BITCH ASS DOWN AND GET OUT OUR NOTEPAD

THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE IS SUGAR SCRUB. YEAH I KNOW YOUVE SEEN IT BEFORE BUT YOU DONT KNOW WHAT I KNOW AND THAT WHEN YOU USE IT WITH ONE OF THESE FUCKERS

YOU WILL GET LEGS AND ARMS AND ANY OTHER SHIT YOU WANT THAT IS SO SOFT YOU WILL BE SHOVING IT IN THE FACE OF EVERYONE YOU KNOW AND ASKING THEM TO COMPARE IT TO THE TENDER PINK FLESH OF A NEWBORN

SO GET YOURSELF SOME FUCKING WHITE SUGAR AND SOME CHEAP ASS OIL LIKE CANOLA OR SOME SHIT AND MIX THAT SHIT WITH TWO PARTS SUGAR AND ONE PART OIL( THAT MEANS TWICE AS MUCH SUGAR AS OIL BITCHES I USUALLY USE ONE CUP OF SUGAR AND DO SOME FUCKING MATH TO FIGURE OUT HOW MUCH OIL THAT IS) DROP A FEW DROPS OF VANILLA ESSENCE OR MAYBE SOME FUCKING LAVENDER OIL WHATEVER YOU WANNA SMELL LIKE. MIX IT UP REALLY GOOD MMMM SMELLS LIKE CAKE BATTER FUCK YEAH.

NOW GET YOURSELF GOOD AND NAKED. REAL NAKED. PAMPER YOUR GODDESS-LIKE ASS WITH A BUBBLE BATH. TAKE ONE OF THOSE RAZORS YOU GOT AND SHAVE WHATEVER YOU LIKE TO SHAVE LEGS ARMS VAJAYJAY PITS I DONT FUCKING CARE.

NOW GET OUT OF THAT GROSS HAIRY DIRT WATER AND SIT ON THE EDGE OF THAT THERE BATHTUB. TAKE A HANDFUL OF THAT SWEET GOOP AND RUB IT ALL OVER THAT SKIN OF YOURS(just dont use this stuff on or near your lady bits i put this in lower case because it is really important your love cavern does not like sugar uh uh no way its diabetic) RUB RUB RUB KEEP RUBBIN YEAH YOUR HANDS STARTING TO FEEL WEIRD GOOD BECAUSE ITS WORKING

NOW TAKE THAT CHEAP-ASS DISPOSABLE RAZOR YOU HAVE AND SHAVE OFF THAT NASTY-ASS DEAD SKIN EWW ITS SO GROSS NO ITS NOT ITS YOUR OWN SKIN BUT ITS ALL GREY. RINSE OF THAT OILY STUFF BECAUSE YOUR SKIN AINT NO SLIP-N-SLIDE

GOOD NOW FEEL YOUR NEWFOUND SOFT SKIN THAT WAS ONCE BURIED UNDER LAYERS OF DEAD FLAKES OF YOUR PAST SELF YOUR WELCOME MOTHERFUCKERS CLASS DISMISSED

[gender-euphowrya]

IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS POST FOR AGES thanks for the tip karkat

[dwasylyshen]

My wife just did this and has been running around the house screaming “IM A FUCKING GODDESS”

[indie-idiosyncrasies-deactivate]

Its true, I have been.

[in-overrmyhead]

I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO FIND THIS POST AGAIN FOREVER.

[lemonade-drinking-ghost]

Saving this

[probablybadrpgideas]

Refuse to differentiate between important and unimportant information in your scene descriptions. “Looking around the ruined street you see a few burnt out houses, various bits of rubble, 4000 demons pointing swords at you, a pile of knocked over street signs and a stray cat.”

[gnars-house]

All your players, immediately: I PET THE CAT

[cosmicastrogazer]

“The 4000 demons immediately lower their blades, as you have successfully shown proper tribute to She Who Walks the Shadows, The Bitter Talon, The Dark Queen of the Pit, Mrs. Flufferbutt.”

[theirin-myheart]

You’re not a real gamer unless you’ve wasted countless hours of your life purposefully walking in the wrong direction to make sure you’re not missing any content

[kingofdoma]

I’ll stop doing when they stop putting chests full of mid-tier armor in the opposite direction of the clearly marked endgoal

[operahousebookworm]

That feeling of “oh crap I triggered the plot I wasn’t done fucking around yet”