From what I've gathered reading your blog you seem to be very much pro-kink, even the ones most people would find 'gross' and until very recently this was something I agreed with. Fantasies are just fantasies and don't have any meaning on reality, right? But lately I decided to browse through some masochistic kink tags on Tumblr out of bored curiosity and what I found made me feel sick to my stomach. Teenage girls (that's what they mostly were) posting about being raped, made into sex slaves, being 'put in their place as women' by men, it all seemed like something out of a misogynist's wet dream. I don't know what I expected by checking in those tags in the first place, but I didn't think it would be that extreme. It just seems hard to imagine a young woman posting about being bred like livestock as is her place as a female and going back to having a healthy view of herself and others as women when she's done. Especially teenagers, since their minds are still growing and being molded by what they experience. It reminded me that I've been seeing a lot BDSM bleeding (heh) over into mainstream vanilla sex, like choking and beating. It just seems like maledom is becoming synonymous with sex and sexuality itself, and I don't think it's natural. Femdom is still and always was very niche, so unless someone wants to argue that women are naturally more masochistic than men I think a lot of female masochism is a result of living in and being influenced by a male-dominated world and should not be seen as healthy and encouraged. This ended up being a lot longer than I expected, but you generally have pretty good takes on things and so I was curious about your opinion on this.
I don't mean to be rude here, but misogyny kink + rape kink is basic-ass stuff that's everywhere. Hucows are a staple of crappy image board porn sites full of anime art. If this seems shocking and extreme to you, I don't think you've explored freaky porn spaces very much. This is what I'm talking about when I roll my eyes at fandom wank about "extreme" fic within fandom.
When I personally was 14, I was reading snuff stories with dudes jizzing into bullet holes. The ones that weren't about shooting featured long, detailed descriptions of strangulation. Plenty of them also featured misogyny kink, but my favorite author and photo essayist was always writing about herself as a murdered corporate spy and shit like that without any particular misogynistic element. She'd make her husband cart her around and take photos of her playing dead.
My favorite movie was Crash. It just spoke to something inside of me.
I am far healthier for having been able to explore that through fiction without being yelled at and told I was mentally ill. Kinks develop early, and you cannot make teen girls not have rape kinks. They're one of the most common human sexual fantasies that exists!
We don't know where these things come from, but pathologizing them or imagining they come directly from art teens are looking at right then is shitty. Many people can trace the kinks they find sexual as adults back to things they were obsessed with in early childhood. I think it's possible that misogyny kink would decline somewhat if society got less misogynist, but rape kinks aren't going anywhere, and this kind of social change would be years too late for anyone who's currently a teen even if you could wave a magic wand today.
It just seems like maledom is becoming synonymous with sex and sexuality itself
Nonnie... Where have you been?
First of all, that's all of society for thousands of years. Second of all, as I always say, most people are bottoms:
Most people don't want to be the one doing the work. They want to be the one done to.
Many women are attracted to men.
Actual men expect a lot of babysitting.
Ergo, porn where a man does things to a woman while she lies there like a dead fish, needing to make zero decisions and zero effort to cater to him is very popular.
You see women thinking real rapists are sexy. I see women with a fantasy of finally not having to do all the work.
"Femdom is still and always was very niche"
This is straight up bullshit. Femdom is extremely popular, but it is popular among men.
Dude-oriented porn is full of this kind of thing, and it is a fantasy, yet again, of being done to. These dommes dress up in scratchy-sounding lingerie and spike heels and have their wicked way with nerdy, helpless dudes. I wish those dudes all the fun in the world, but their anatomically improbable erotica does not do it for me because it is, like so much else, about a kink dispenser providing for a deserving subject.
Women are not more naturally submissive. Everyone likes to be the pampered recipient rather than the one putting their back into it. You're just only looking at places full of women's porn.
If you hung out on gelbooru or rule34 or e621 or any of the sites with active comments sections, you'd find a very different picture. Try looking up Link. Dudes love Link. It's a handful of guys going "I'd show him what a real man is" and seas and seas of men who clearly identify with Link and want to watch him get dicked down by everybody from Ganondorf to dogs to dickgirls.
Dudes produce a ton of porn where big titty librarians and strict schoolteachers smack around little girly boys while insulting their manhood. Sometimes, they're futas with big dicks. Sometimes, they just use big strap-ons. It's a whole Thing. You just don't see it because you're hanging out here and on AO3.
Our kind of spaces always want femdom-for-women to be popular, like it's more self actualized to want to be on top.
This attitude is incredibly toxic. It ignores everything we know about healthy BDSM. It pathologizes bottoming. And it asks sexual fantasies to fulfill a representation quota.
This isn't how desire works.
I'm sorry if I sound testy, but what you sent me is bog standard kink hating. I've seen this exact song and dance so many times, right down to the total shock over kinks that wouldn't even register as unusual on a porn site.
