herm is staying over for the first time and he can't fall asleep because first, he's trapped between chad's hands (my another hc that chad uses the fact that he's a stronger man and just wraps his hands around herm and traps him between his muscle hands and herm cannot even move) and second, chad is just SNORING. he's snoring right into herm's ear.
the next morning herm tells chad that he snores. chad denies it all.
The promise of a home-cooked dinner and movie date night sounded like heaven. Chad was an amazing chef and the movie selection was always expansive. For such a picky guy, Chad was rather fluid with entertainment.
No, the night was going well. Until Chad told Herman that he could stay the night. He had purchased waterproof sheets and wanted to "test them." Herman obliged and now he was trapped.
Flambae had him squished, his muscular arms wrapped around Waterboy and held him firmly against his perfect pectorals. That part wasn't so bad. Chad was nice and warm, drying out Herman in his sleep. It was quite lovely.
No.
The hellacious part came from the snoring. Chad was as much of a loud mouth awake as he was asleep. His rumbling snores were cute at first, a little whistle on the exhale due to the missing tooth. But three hours in, Herman was fed up. The elemental tried to push away, much to the sleepy grumbles of Chad and only a stronger grip in response.
Herman's nose was pressed against Chad, digging uncomfortably into his sternum. He barely managed to adjust his angle, Chad's grip was iron, but Herman huffed against his skin. The snoring was getting to him. He braced for Chad to flare up as he spat water onto his chest. Chad didn't even react as the water slowly evaporated.
Herman groaned, closing his eyes and trying to tune the snoring out. Chad shuffled, seemingly even closer to Herman's ear and continued snoring. It was like someone cutting logs with a squeaky chainsaw. Herman could scream, push Chad away with a full powered blast, but a well-rested Flambae was a happy Flambae. Herman would eventually fall asleep, no problem.
The night passed, the window was slowly lighting up more and more. Herman blinked, sleep finally dragging his eyelids down. Pure exhaustion riddled his squeezed frame as he relaxed, accepting his fate at the wee hours of daybreak-
Chad's alarm went off. Not just a quiet beep, not a chime or a light song, it was:
"Due to the fact her thighs spread like-
P NUT P NUT P NUT PEANUT BUTTER-!"
The most annoying song ever to grace Herman's ears as heard on Drag Race. Chad slapped his phone, finally releasing Waterboy to flop onto the sheets. Herman melted into the warm spot as Chad shuffled around. He didn't bother getting up, sleep finally snatched Herman into its clutches.
Chad looked down at his peaceful boyfriend, snapping a quick photo before creeping off to make breakfast. It'd be the most romantic shit Herman would ever see.
French toast, eggs, turkey bacon, fresh fruit, even the gross-ass melon he liked so much. Chad busied himself, humming along to his playlist and keeping an ear out for his boyfriend.
By the time breakfast was ready, Herman was still asleep. Chad clicked his tongue, finished setting the breakfast table, and slid into their bedroom.
"Hermie, time for breakfast." Chad's eyes fell to the bed. Herman was sleeping, snoring lightly. He sounded a bit like a fat cat or a drooling pug in his sleep.
"Herman, get up." Chad crossed the room, standing right over his partner. The breathy little snores continued. Flambae ripped the sheet off of Herman, revealing the pale, damp body with rubber ducky boxers clinging to his little wet ass.
Herman curled inward, snuggling into the steadily cooling sheets, and continued his tender snoring. It'd be cute if breakfast wasn't currently getting cold. Chad huffed, snatching the pillow from under Herman's head. He thunked against the sheets, pausing- before the snores unfurled once more.
Chad grabbed Herman by the shoulders, shaking him awake. The wet hero blinked, shaking off sleep as well as water droplets.
"Ch-Chad! Stop this- that!" Herman put his own hands on Chad's shoulders, ceasing the movement.
"C'mon Snow White, you had all night to sleep. Get your ass up and get some breakfast!" Chad dropped his partner, crossing the room to stand in the door frame. Herman was glaring from the bed, but slowly stretching his legs and rubbing the sleep from his face.
"And by the way baby: You snore." Chad left the room before Herman's deep set grimace flashed across his face. He could hear Herman's stammering all the way in the kitchen, as well as a thunk of Waterboy falling out of bed. Chad bit his lip to keep from laughing as the hero slid down the stairs and into the kitchen/dining area.
"I snore?!" Herman panted. His hair was mussed up, probably from the Radiohead short that clung awkwardly to his damp body. "I snore! You-you-you big brute of a- you chainsaw in your sleep!"
"What the fuck are you talking about?" Chad raised an eyebrow to his exasperated partner.
"How the fuck do you chainsaw in your sleep? I slept good last night! Had my little otter plushie with me." He cupped Herman's face only for Waterboy to pull away.
"You- it kept me up all night with the snores- your snores! You snore!" Herman had bags under his eyes, or the start of bags, it was hard to tell.
"I-I didn't sleep!"
"Bullshit, you were sleeping all the while I made you breakfast. Now take the plate, and get some coffee because I'm planning a binge watch of season seventeen again, and we are not getting crumbs on the couch." Chad handed Herman the warm plate. His silver eyes were twitching as Herman grumbled to the table.
"You're welcome, sleepy bitch!"
"S-snoring bastard!" Herman called back, stabbing his fork into the fluffy french toast. Chad just laughed.
"Yeah right! I don't snore."
Herman genuinely considered lunging across the table and strangling Chad. He settled for staring into the middle distance like he was on "The Office."
Ooooh new comic Iām working on that I suddenly decided to make so weāll see how it goes and also idk how long this is going to be, but Iām very into phm and ironlung rn so um. š Under the cut some close ups!
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