pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader ( no use of y/n )
summary: garcia and derek go into spencer's apartment, while you're sleeping in his bed. the problem? no one knows you and spencer are dating
content warnings: secret relationship , reader also works in the bau
a/n: hiii !!! i'm back to my secret relationship roots and i hope you like this <3 bc i had so much fun writing this ( i've been writing it for ages and i'm finally happy with it)
"No, no," Spencer shook his head frantically, his voice almost pleading as Derek maneuvered the car into the parking spot at his apartment complex.
"Why not?" Garcia's voice was full of curiosity as she looked back at Spencer from the passenger seat.
The trio had spent the whole afternoon shopping for your birthday, which was just around the corner. Garcia, as usual, had already gotten everything ready, gifts, decorations, the whole nine yards. She even had a closet near her office packed with presents for you, waiting for the big reveal at the surprise party she was planning to throw.The whole mission was meant to be a fun, collaborative effort, the three of them picking out something special for you to celebrate.
But now, as Derek parked the car and they were all about to get out, Garciaâs sudden idea was making Spencer break into a cold sweat.
"I mean, we can just hang out at your place for a bit, right?" Garcia asked, her tone more like a suggestion than a question. She had already unbuckled her seatbelt, clearly excited about the idea.
Spencer swallowed hard, his fingers gripping the seatbelt. "I donât know if thatâs such a good idea," he said quickly, trying to sound casual, though the nerves were practically radiating off of him.
"I have⌠stuff to do." His words stumbled, but Derek caught on immediately.
"You've got a date or something?" Derek teased, raising an eyebrow. "Come on, Reid, live a little."
Spencerâs face turned a light shade of pink, but he quickly deflected with a nervous laugh. "No, no date," he replied, but the nervous energy in his tone was giving him away. "I justâuhâneed to get inside."
Garcia didn't miss a beat. "Come on, Spencer," she insisted with that gleam of excitement in her eyes. "Itâs been forever since we just hung out at your place. You know, a little downtime."
But Spencerâs mind was racing, heart pounding. The last thing he needed was for Derek and Garcia to come upstairs and see you there. He knew you were in his apartment right now, sound asleep in his bed, curled up in one of his sweaters. This morning, you had practically melted into him that morning, clinging to him as he reluctantly told you he had to go.You had been so warm, your face tucked into the side of his neck, holding him like you didnât want him to leave. Heâd rubbed soothing circles on your back, whispering that heâd be back soon, but you hadn't been ready to let go. Eventually, he had managed to peel himself away, promising to return as quickly as possible.
Now, his heart pounded as he watched Derek and Garcia hop out of the car without hesitation. "No, no, noâ" Spencer muttered under his breath, scrambling to open his own door. He practically stumbled out, rushing after them, but they were already making their way toward his apartment building.
They didnât even wait for him. "Of course," he thought bitterly as he hurried behind them. He knew he was too late. There was no way he could stop them now. His only hope was that you were still asleep. And there was a high chance that you were. Spencer knew your sleep schedule well. If he could just get inside before them and shut his bedroom door, everything would be fine.
As they reached the top floor, Spencerâs fingers fumbled in his pocket for his keys. His hands were practically shaking as he yanked them out, quickly jamming the correct one into the lock. Slowly, he pushed the door open just a crack, peeking inside, praying you werenâtâ
"Dr. Reid. What are you doing?" Garciaâs voice was laced with amusement as she leaned against the doorframe, watching him with a smirk.Before Spencer could stop her, she pushed the door open wider, stepping inside.
Panic surged through him. His breath caught in his throat.But you were nowhere to be seen. His eyes darted toward the bedroom door. It was closed.
No sign of you.
Spencer swallowed hard, trying to compose himself as Garcia and Derek strolled inside, completely oblivious to the absolute terror he had just experienced. Spencer quickly shut the door behind them, tossing his jacket over the nearest chair, something he never did. Normally, he was meticulous about hanging it up properly, but right now, his priority was making sure nothing seemed off.
Slipping off his shoes, he warily watched as Garcia and Derek made a beeline for his kitchen. As they rummaged through his cabinets, Spencer seized the opportunity. He darted down the hallway toward the bedroom, his socked feet barely making a sound on the hardwood floor. He cracked the door open just enough to peek inside, and there you were, still fast asleep, curled up under the blankets with his sweater draped loosely over your shoulders. A small, involuntary smile tugged at his lips. He closed the door gently, careful not to make a sound, and hurried back to the kitchen before they could notice his absence.
Crisis averted.
He stopped in his tracks, however, when he saw the disaster unfolding before him.
âWhat are you doing?â Spencer asked, exasperated, watching as Derek and Garcia rummaged through his cabinets like raccoons.
Garcia, mid-bite into a granola bar, waved a hand dismissively. âRelax, genius, weâre just looking for snacks. By the wayââ she held up the granola bar with a raised brow, ââI thought you hated these?â
Spencer froze. He did. He never ate those granola bars.
But you did. You loved them, so he always kept some stocked just for you.
He scrambled for an excuse, clearing his throat. âUhâI just wanted to give them another try,â he mumbled, avoiding Garciaâs sharp, suspicious gaze.
Derek, now chewing a piece of toast, barely looked up. âYeah, okay,â he said, mouth full.
Spencer shot him an unamused glare. âCan the two of you stop eating my food?â
âNo,â Derek replied, taking another bite, completely unbothered.Â
Spencer sighed, running a hand through his hair. âYou know, most people ask before raiding someoneâs kitchen,â he muttered, though there was no real bite to his words.Â
Garcia giggled, popping the last bite of granola bar into her mouth. âOh, come on, Genius. You love us. Besides, youâre acting super weird today. Whatâs going on with you?âÂ
Spencerâs eyes widened slightly, and he quickly looked away, busying himself with straightening a stack of papers on the counter
âNothingâs going on,â he said, his voice a little too high-pitched. âIâm just⌠tired. Itâs been a long day.âÂ
Garcia and Derek just exchanged a look.Spencer sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. He needed to get them out of here before they found something they werenât supposed to. Like, say⌠you.
âDo you think sheâll like my gift?â Garcia asked, peeking at the bag on the counter, her fingers fidgeting with the ribbon.
âMost definitely, babygirl,â Derek answered without hesitation, dusting the crumbs off his hands after finishing his toast. âSheâs been talking about it for weeks.â
Spencer, still trying to recover from his near heart attack, nodded in agreement. âYeah, sheâll love it,â he said, meeting Garciaâs eyes with a small, reassuring smile.
Garcia beamed, clearly pleased with herself. âOh, sheâll love yours, boy genius,â she added, pointing at Spencer. âYou know her so well.â Her voice carried a teasing lilt, her grin mischievous.
âMaybe too well,â Derek chimed in, eyebrows raised as he leaned casually against the counter, arms crossed. His grin was knowing, smug. Spencer stiffened.
âWhen are you finally gonna ask her out?â Derek asked, his grin widening.
Spencer felt his face heat up instantly. He blushed, but not for the reason they thought. He blushed because he remembered the day it happened. The way his heart had pounded in his chest, his palms sweaty as he rehearsed the words in his head over and over. Heâd been so nervous, heâd almost convinced himself to back out.
But then heâd seen you, your smile, the way your eyes lit up when you noticed him approaching, and all his doubts had melted away. When he finally asked, his voice trembling slightly, your reaction had been everything heâd hoped for. Your face had lit up, and youâd nodded so quickly, it was almost comical.
âYes!â youâd said, your voice filled with so much enthusiasm that it made him laugh. In that moment, all his anxiety had washed away, replaced by a giddy, almost overwhelming sense of relief and joy.Â
âAww, how cute!â Garcia practically vibrated with excitement, bouncing on the balls of her feet as she pointed an accusatory finger at Spencer. âHeâs blushing,â she sang, her grin stretching impossibly wide.Â
Spencer groaned, shaking his head in exasperation. âDid you two come into my apartment just to eat my food and make fun of me?â he asked, arms crossed.
âPretty much,â Derek said, completely unfazed as he made his way back toward the fridge.
Spencer let out a sharp breath, trying to mask his anxiety. He knew you were still asleep, but that didnât stop the lingering fear that their loud voices might wake you up.
But then, Derek stopped in front of the fridge.His eyes locked onto the calendar hanging there, and a slow, amused smirk spread across his face.
âLook at this, sweetheart,â Derek said, turning toward Garcia, his voice thick with amusement. Garcia leaned in, her eyes widening as she saw what Derek was pointing at. There, on the calendar, your birthday was circled in bold red marker, surrounded by a carefully drawn heart.
Garcia gasped, clapping her hands together in delight. âOh. My. God,â she said, her voice rising with every word. âSpencer Reid, you are down bad!â
Spencer felt his face burn even hotter. He wished he could disappear into the floor, or maybe just teleport to another dimension entirely. Anything to escape this moment.Because the truth was, he hadnât been the one to draw that heart on the calendar. It had been you.
He remembered the moment perfectly.
The day he hung the calendar up, you had been standing right there beside him, watching with an amused little smile. Then, without hesitation, you had grabbed the nearest marker, a red one, of course, and went straight to your birthday month, drawing a huge heart around the date. "So you donât forget."
He had chuckled, shaking his head as he stepped behind you, wrapping his arms loosely around your waist. Then, he had pressed a soft kiss to your temple, murmuring against your skin. "I donât forget anything. Especially not something like that."
You had giggled. And Spencer had loved making you giggle.
Now, standing in his kitchen, faced with his coworkersâ relentless teasing, he was struck with the embarrassing realization that Derek and Garcia thought he was some hopelessly lovesick teenager who had scribbled hearts around his crushâs name in a notebook.
(Which, if he was being completely honest, wasnât that far from the truth.)
But what was he supposed to say?Tell them the truth? Admit that the woman heâd been secretly dating for months, the same woman they were here shopping for, was currently asleep in his bed down the hall? Absolutely not.
But then the choice was taken away from him anyway.
Suddenly, the sound of running water echoed from down the hallway, causing both Garcia and Derek to freeze mid-sentence. Their heads snapped toward the source of the noise, their eyes widening as they stared at Spencer.
Spencer stared back, equally wide-eyed, his mind racing. You were in the bathroom, happily brushing your teeth, completely unaware that two of your and Spencerâs, coworkers were standing in the kitchen, mere feet away.
âSpencer Walter Reid,â Garcia gasped, her voice loud enough to carry through the apartment. She clutched Derekâs arm like she was about to faint. âIs there someone here?â
âNo, no,â Spencer said quickly, shaking his head so vigorously that his curls bounced. âItâs probably just my washing machine turning on.â
As if on cue, the bathroom door creaked open, and then closed again. Spencerâs heart sank. âOh no,â he mumbled under his breath, his stomach twisting into knots.
And then, there you were.
You padded into the kitchen, blissfully unaware of the chaos you were about to unleash. You were wearing Spencerâs boxers, which hung loosely around your hips, and one of his Star Wars shirts that was far too big for you, the hem brushing against your thighs. Your hair was slightly messy, and you were still rubbing sleep from your eyes. Then you stopped. Blinking, you finally seemed to register the two extra people in the room.
Garcia. Derek.
Standing there.
Staring.
At you.
In Spencerâs clothes.
Two pairs of eyes stared at you. And you stared back, your own eyes wide, your brain struggling to process the scene in front of you. Spencer, meanwhile, was staring at the ground like it might suddenly open up and swallow him whole. Garcia broke the silence, her voice low and uncharacteristically quiet, something almost more shocking than if sheâd screamed.
âAm I⌠dreaming?â she whispered, clutching Derekâs arm like a lifeline. She looked pale, her usual vibrant energy replaced by sheer disbelief as she took in your disheveled state.
Derek, for once, seemed just as stunned. âI⌠no, I donât think so,â he said hesitantly, his usual confidence replaced by uncharacteristic uncertainty. He blinked at you, then at Spencer, then back at you, as if trying to piece together what exactly was happening.
âSpencer,â you hissed, your voice low but urgent. âWhat the hell is happening?â You tugged self-consciously at the hem of his Star Wars shirt, trying to pull it down further.
Normally, you were the picture of professionalism at work, always impeccably dressed and composed. But here you were, standing in Spencerâs kitchen in his boxers and an oversized shirt, your hair a mess and your face still flushed from sleep.
It was beyond awkward, it was mortifying.
Spencer finally looked up, his expression a mix of guilt and panic. âI, uh⌠this isnâtââ he started, but Garcia cut him off.
âOh no, no, no,â Garcia said, her voice rising with every word, her hands flailing dramatically. âYou do not get to âthis isnâtâ us right now. This is happening. This is definitely happening.â She pointed a finger at you, then at Spencer, her eyes wide. âYou two. Together. In his apartment. Wearing his clothes. Oh my gosh, this is the best day of my life.â
You froze, your cheeks burning as you tugged self-consciously at the hem of Spencerâs shirt. âPenelope, itâs notââ you started, but she cut you off with a wave of her hand.
âNope, nope, nope,â she said, shaking her head so vigorously that her curls bounced. âNo explanations, no excuses. This is happening. I have been waiting for this moment for years.â
Spencer groaned, running a hand through his already messy hair. âGarcia, pleaseââ
âNo,â she interrupted again, her voice rising an octave. âYou donât get to âGarcia, pleaseâ me right now. This is huge. This is monumental. This isââ
âA disaster,â Spencer muttered under his breath, though the faintest hint of a smile tugged at the corners of his lips.
Derek, who had been quietly observing the scene with an amused grin, finally chimed in. âMan, Reid, I gotta hand it to you. I didnât think you had it in you.â
You groaned, burying your face in your hands. âThis is so embarrassing,â you muttered, though there was a hint of laughter in your voice.
Garcia, meanwhile, was practically bouncing on her toes, her excitement palpable. âOh, this is going to be so much fun. I canât wait to tellââ
âNo!â Spencer and you said in unison, your voices sharp enough to make Garcia freeze mid-sentence.
âYou are not telling anyone,â Spencer said, his tone leaving no room for argument.
Garcia pouted, but there was a mischievous glint in her eyes. âFine, fine. But only because Iâm feeling generous. For now.â
Derek chuckled, shaking his head. âMan, this is going to be the best office drama ever.â
You groaned again, burying your face in your hands. âIâm going back to bed,â you muttered, turning on your heel and heading back down the hallway. As you disappeared into the bedroom, Garcia and Derek turned to Spencer. âYouâve got some explaining to do, Pretty Boy,â Derek said, his grin widening.
Spencer sighed, knowing there was no escaping this. âYeah,â he said, his voice resigned. âI know.â
â Spencer fidgets; everyone in the BAU knows. While working an important case, you try four different items to stop his fidgeting. Nothing works. Until you run out of ideas and act without thinking.
â fluff, judgement and threats of fights, probably OOC characters, lots of fidgeting, banter, kidnapping case, 4+1 fic. 4.2k+ words, requested
When you first joined the Behavioral Analysis Unit of the FBI, you were told the team was a family. You didnât believe it, even as the agents stood and greeted you with smiles.
Yet, youâre here now. Years later, youâve fallen into a comfortable, trusting, and surprisingly familial routine with the people closest to you.
Hotch answers begrudgingly when you refer to him as âPops;â Penelope drags you out on the town a few weekends a month and claims being hit on boosts your ability to read people and react to them; Derek speaks to you without actually talking and carries your bag to the plane when you leave Quantico; and Spencer⌠Spencer brings a unique sense of home to your life. Whether heâs bouncing his leg and rattling your desk, listening to an educational podcast through the headphones you got him two Christmases ago, or telling you about something that he somehow makes relevant to the conversation even though youâre always lost at first, being near Spencer is being somewhere safe, somewhere youâre accepted and appreciated.
As your team leaves Virginia yet again to work a kidnapping case, you smile at the familiarity of the routine. Derek carries your bag, grunting dramatically as he slides it into the bin at the back of the plane. Spencer takes the seat beside you and opens a book in his lap, the rhythm of his leg bouncing as unsurprising as the roar of the engines as the plane takes off. This is your family; the idea of doubting that now makes you laugh.
âMatthew Connors was reported missing yesterday morning by his grandparents, who are his legal guardians,â Hotch begins.
âSeventeen years old,â JJ reads from her copy of the report. âAre they sure heâs missing?â
âFriends and family support the grandparentsâ position that Matthew wouldnât run away.â
âNo chance they had an idea of who would have abducted him?â you assume.
âUnfortunately, no,â Hotch answers flatly. âThat part is up to us.â
âAdolescence is a time of shifting and strengthening social circles; itâs a time when self-esteem and identity are constantly affected,â Spencer offers. âRegardless of his character, a sudden change could have pushed him to act rashly.â
âBut we have to assume heâs really been taken,â you interject. âSo, letâs find out who abducted Matthew Connors and why they did it.â You glance at the report and narrow your eyes. âHeâs a star student? Any idea if college is in his future?â
âDoes it pose a difference to our case?â Hotch wonders. âPast speaking to his character and the unlikelihood of his disappearance being willful departure?â
âI donât know,â you admit. âMaybe.â
âIâll find out then,â he offers. âCatch up on what weâve got. Sheriff and D.A. are waiting for us when we touch down.â
âWhat do you think?â Spencer asks you, his hand moving against the armrest.
âThat this is more than a ransom or revenge kidnapping,â you murmur. âUnless, of course, Iâm wrong.â
Spencer shakes his head, then slides his headphones on and bounces his leg while he reviews the facts of the case.
Wagoner, Oklahoma. 9:15 p.m. CST.
Sighing, you underline a note before tossing your pen onto the hotel room desk. Working difficult cases is nothing new â the opposite, really; itâs the norm for the BAU â but having the Wagoner County Sheriff and D.A. watching your every move makes the already stressful case that much harder.
Immediately after he met with the Sheriff and D.A., Hotch pulled your team aside to âpass along a message directly from the D.A.âs office.â It was more or less something a kindergarten teacher or high school drama instructor would say: be on your best behavior, smile, and remember that people are watching you at all times.
After years of working at Spencerâs side, youâve grown used to his fidgeting. When it becomes noticeable, you glance at Derek, share an amused look before he rolls his eyes, and then move on. Today, that was not the case. Spencerâs fidgeting was apparently distressing the victimâs grandmother (the D.A.âs words) and distracting the officers on the case (the Sheriffâs words). Between their direct comments and Spencer actually distracting someone or disturbing something, everyone was aware of Spencerâs energetic movements. Four hours into your first day on the case you whispered to Spencer that he was shaking the table; Hotch then snapped at him and sent him back to the hotel. You went with him, managed to make him feel a little better before Hotch knocked on the door and apologized. Yet, something nags at you, something telling you that you need to do more.
It's getting nearly impossible to focus, but you canât sleep either. So, you text Hotch: Are you awake?
Your phone rings nearly immediately.
âIs there imminent danger or a case-solving find?â Hotch inquires when you answer.
âNo,â you admit softly, leaning back in the desk chair. âI just wanted to ask if I could borrow the car.â
âTo go where?â
Reaching for the pen you tossed aside, you answer, âWalmart. Or a convenience store, whateverâs open.â
âI can see both from my window. Why canât you walk?â
âItâs 10 oâclock at night, dark, in a town I donât know, Hotch,â you argue. Then, for good measure, you plead, âCâmon, Pops.â
He sighs before you hear keys rattling.
âWhat? No offer to drive me?â you question.
âThe last time I offered, you handed me your license and reminded me that women no longer need escorts and can wear pants.â
You smile at the reminder, then thank Hotch. After you get the key from him, tâs a short drive to the Walmart Supercenter across the street. Entering the building, you navigate through the nearly empty store like a woman on a mission. The first thing you need is easy enough to find, and you happen across another item in the same aisle that may work. Then you cut through the home decor section to gather a few craft items. Finally, you get a few snacks and a drink, then head to the empty checkout lanes.
Tomorrow, youâll be better prepared for Spencerâs fidgeting. The goal isnât to change him or make him feel bad for something thatâs simply part of him, but to get him through the day without another incident like today.
Mission: (Temporarily) Stop Spencerâs Fidgeting begins now. Or after you return Hotchâs keys and provide him with a few goodies as thanks.
Attempt 1 to Stop Spencerâs Fidgeting
The next morning, sitting beside Spencer, itâs impossible to ignore him moving. Though his eyes are steady on the topographic map before him, his hands move restlessly along his thighs, his fingers tapping across his quad, down to his knee, and back up toward his hip. The shifting of his arms is visible to everyone in the office, so when he lifts one hand toward the desk, you decide to act.
The item you went to the store for last night is at the top of your bag, so you pull it out and slip it into Spencerâs left hand without drawing any more attention. He stops moving, frowning as he turns the item over in his hands. You sigh a breath of relief when he drops his chin and begins working on solving the Rubikâs Cube rather than fidgeting. The judgmental woman â Elise Connors, the victimâs grandmother, you remember â sitting across the room from you lifts her chin when you glance toward her. Something about Mrs. Connors has bothered you since you arrived at the station, and the way she explained-
Before you start thinking about it, Spencer returns the Rubikâs Cube. Itâs been less than a minute, but heâs already solved it, matching the sides without even looking down. So, you shift the pieces and pass it back to him. Spencer seems content to solve the cube again, then passes it back to start again.
âWhat are your thoughts?â Hotch asks you.
The officer beside him is glaring at you without a semblance of being bothered to hide his sexist disposition, which is the only reason Hotch is asking you to present what you have on the unsub so far. When you walked in, the officer had refused to shake your hand, and when JJ slipped in a few minutes later, he rolled his eyes. If you werenât busy thinking about Spencer, youâd take a bit more pleasure in showing him your worth.
âThe victim, as you know, had strong social ties with both his family and the people he knew through work,â you say. Youâre interrupted by Spencer placing the Rubikâs Cube in your hand for the third time. Twisting it as you speak, you continue, âThe items we found in his room pointed toward a more independent mindset than any of the interviews or the initial report led you to believe. Considering the condition of the scene where you believe he was taken, we have reason to believe that- that-â
Your train of thought is broken as Spencer gingerly sets the cube against your thigh.
âThat what?â the officer snaps.
âGive her a second,â Derek interrupts. âSheâs doing your job for you.â
âOh, yeah, because every second I spend in this office listening to her yap about feelings is another second that kid is completely fine out there! We have a job to do, and it doesnât involve holding hands and singing about feelings.â
Derek pushes up to stand from his seat, but immediately backs down when Hotch shakes his head.
âWhat I was trying to say,â you sigh when Spencer abandons the cube and begins fidgeting again. âIs that our unsub is likely someone incredibly close to the victim. Someone who considered their relationship to be in danger because of his independence. Perhaps a job offer, or a conversation revealed an uneven dependency in the relationship and the other party snapped.â
âWhich aligns with the evidence at the scene and in the victimâs home,â Hotch agrees. âMatthew was clearly an independent young man, whether or not he wanted people to see it. His relationships are related to this case whether you like it or not, Officer. We should interview his closest friends and relatives.â
âWe already did that,â another officer interjects.
âAnd your cocker spaniel movements and half-cocked ideas wonât get you any further than it got us,â another mumbles.
âDonât underestimate us,â Spencer calls as he stands, his fingers still moving against his leg.
You glare at the officers as you follow your team out of the office.
âSorry,â Derek offers. âI know you can fight your own battles.â
âAll good,â you assure him.
âTake up a new hobby?â Hotch inquires, gesturing to the Rubikâs Cube in your bag.
Spencerâs shoulders draw inward before you smile easily and say, âGotta show something off the next time you force me to babysit Jack.â
Attempt 2 to Stop Spencerâs Fidgeting
Itâs your second full day in Oklahoma when your team begins interviewing the people closest to the victim. Despite what the young boyâs grandparents told the police and the media, you think the victim either ran away or, more likely, was abducted by someone close to him. Thereâs a scene with enough circumstantial evidence to reasonably be the location where he was abducted but â excusing the unofficial and unprovable statement â thereâs something about this case that doesnât sit well with you. Behind a diner between the Connors residence and Matthewâs school, thereâs evidence of a fight, and the victimâs English textbook was located beneath a picnic table. It looks like he was taken, but with absolutely no idea of who would abduct him on his way home from school or why they would do it, itâs hard to convince the people looking for him to shift their perspective.
âWhat did Deputy Everett say about Matthew?â you check, tapping your pen against your opposite palm.
âThat âthe boy is bright and faithful, a good student and a better friend,ââ Spencer answers.
Youâve been sitting beside him for nearly four hours, since before the sun rose over Wagoner. His fidgeting has faded into the background, simply part of the day. But when Spencer shifts his hands and begins picking at the sensitive skin around his nails, you know you have to do something. Not because heâs bothering you or being a distraction, but because he might hurt himself. You hope he knows you well enough to see that.
You abandon your desk, ignorant of Spencerâs eyes following you as you move. He turns in the chair, watching you cross the hotel room with purposeful steps. As you bend forward and dig through a plastic bag, Spencerâs movements donât stop, but his mind refocuses. He inhales sharply when he draws blood, and your sympathetic sound works to bring him back to the present.
âNeed a band-aid?â you check.
Spencer shakes his head, his hair brushing against his glasses frames. You smile, returning to his side to reach past him and open your laptop. Your shirt brushes against his arm and the lingering scent of your favorite body wash is familiar and comfortable to Spencer. Since he got to know you during your first weeks at the BAU, heâs seen you differently. When you tap his hand mid-conversation, he doesnât immediately think about where the closest sink is to wash his hands, nor does he remember a time you made him feel like he was too much. As much as he loves Derek, there have been times where he knew he went too far. Never with you.
âHere,â you say.
Spencer blinks. Thereâs something in his hands, the item on the left soft while his right-hand fingers curl around a cool metal rod.
âBeginner crochet projects,â Spencer reads quietly, glancing at the video loaded on your computer. âCrochet?â
âWould you prefer to knit?â you check. âI bought the stuff for you to try both. We all need a way to unwind, and I just thought maybe⌠Sorry.â
âNo, I-â Spencer clears his throat, then says, âThank you.â
âOf course. Iâll be right here, but find another video, do whatever you need.â
Spencer nods and reaches toward the keyboard. He stops the moment your fingers brush his arm.
âSeriously, Spence. If you need anything, Iâm here.â
He swallows, his Adamâs apple bobbing as his eyes bore into yours. The tutorial starts after a quiet introduction and the moment ends. While Spencer focuses on the craft in his hands, the rest of his body remains still. You struggle to focus on the case with Spencer so close to you, his sweatered arm moving in your peripheral vision and quiet hums of understanding as impactful as a lighthouse in a stormy night.
âDone,â Spencer announces as you reach for a page of Hotchâs notes.
âDone?â you repeat incredulously. âSpencer itâs been like ten minutes.â
He nods, then offers you the scarf. You chuckle and pull it around your shoulders. Within a minute heâs turned on a video claiming it can teach anyone how to knit, hunched over the knitting hooks as you find your place in the police report.
âMatthew, the missing kid, had a fight with his grandpa the day before he went missing,â you read from the transcript of the initial interviews.
âAbout what?â Spencer asks without looking away from the purple yarn you chose.
âCollege.â
âSounds like you were right,â Spencer hums.
He finishes another scarf and ties it off. Itâs a little too short and itâs crookeder than the one he crocheted, but he doesnât seem intent on fixing it. Instead, he takes the edge of the scarf on your shoulders in his fingers and resumes his fidgeting. For some reason, itâs easier to think with his movements against you, the feeling like home.
âThe grandmother is hiding something,â Spencer says.
âAny idea what?â you check. âThereâs nothing especially interesting in the officersâ field notes.â
âMaybe she knew about the fight⌠Or she knows something else about Matthewâs independence that she doesnât want to get out.â
You turn to Spencer, slowing when you realize how close he is.
âLike what?â you whisper in the proximity.
âSomething worth getting him out of town.â
Nodding, you allow Spencer to tug the scarf and pull you closer. Before you can forget about the case and why youâre here, the door lock beeps. Jerking away from each other, you and Spencer attempt to look natural as Derek enters the room. He looks at you, and when you tear your eyes away, he smiles like he knows exactly what happened.
âDonât,â you warn softly.
Derek shrugs and leans against the wall. He knows â somehow â yet he simply says, âNice scarf.â
âScarves,â Spencer points out, pointing his chin toward the knitted one on the desk.
Attempt 3 to Stop Spencerâs Fidgeting
Standing between Spencer and a Sheriffâs Deputy in the observation room, you watch Hotch and Derek interview Matthewâs grandmother. When you and Spencer had presented your theory, Hotch quickly agreed that the older woman was hiding something. Derek hypothesized that Matthew had a secret relationship, which was the real reason behind the argument that preluded Matthewâs disappearance.
âTell us more about the argument,â Hotch requests. âWhat was it about? What exactly was said?â
Spencer shifts on his feet, rocking back and forth from left to right, then heel to toe. His hands are clasped tightly together, but it isnât stopping him from fidgeting.
The deputy beside you exhales noisily, his jaw tight. You run your tongue over your lip nervously, hoping that he doesnât say anything to Spencer.
âExcuse me,â you murmur. Stepping back, you open your bag and withdraw the object you hadnât anticipated buying for Spencer. âHere,â you whisper as you slip it into his hand.
He looks down at the plastic fidget spinner, then lifts his gaze to see you. The offended look in his eyes makes you smile, but you turn back toward the glass and Spencer stills. He flips the spinner over in his hands at his side.
âA word,â one of the men working for the Sheriffâs office interrupts, asking the deputy beside you to step out of the room.
Alone with Spencer, you extend your hand. He places the fidget spinner on your palm and watches closely as you demonstrate how to spin it. Then, he takes it back, spinning it carefully before balancing it on his thumb.
âGet anything?â Derek asks as he steps inside.
âOne thing she said,â Spencer says. The fidget spinner wooshes softly against his words. âShe said that they were planning to move to Georgia for school. Whoâs they, besides Matthew?â
âPrecisely what weâre going to ask the grandfather,â Hotch interjects. âActually, you talk to him,â he tells you. âI think heâll respond better to a woman.â
You agree, then leave Spencer alone in the observation room. When you return fifteen minutes later, Derek and Hotch are still there, too. Â Thereâs no sign of anyone from the Sheriffâs Department, which youâd hoped for.
âMatthew had an online girlfriend,â you announce. âOne his grandparents didnât approve of. In fact, Grandma Elise in there threatened to disown Matthew if he chose a college just for some â and I quote â âno good hussy he met on the internet.ââ
âWhich complicates things,â Derek sighs.
âHow so?â Spencer wonders.
âThatâs good reason for Matthew to leave,â Hotch explains. âHeâs the only family they have, and she and Mr. Connors arenât willing or able to leave Wagoner.â
âThereâs more,â you add.
âGo on,â Hotch invites.
âWhy did we even talk to them if you were going to get all the good stuff?â Derek jokes.
âMatthew told his grandfather that one of his classmates found his girlfriendâs phone number and started harassing her. Recently, he graduated to blackmailing Matthew or heâd expose him for abandoning his grandparents for a ânonexistent girl.â I guess if youâre a good student and a good person in a small town, thatâs worth responding to.â
âMotive,â Derek, Spencer, and Hotch realize.
Hotch steps out to catch everyone up on your findings. You salute Derek as he leaves, making him laugh. Alone, Spencer looks down at the table beside him, and you follow his line of sight.
âSpence,â you sigh.
He has the decency to look apologetic as he shifts one of the pieces of the deconstructed fidget spinner. âI wanted to look at the weight system,â he explains, rocking back and forth yet again.
Attempt 4 to Stop Spencerâs Fidgeting
Youâre out of things to distract Spencer with. While Derek and a Sheriffâs Deputy talk to the classmate who was blackmailing Matthew, youâre trapped in an awkward staring contest with a police officer who looks ready to punch Spencer for bouncing his leg and dancing his fingers across the table. He doesnât seem to notice heâs doing it, rambling about annual blackmail statistics in the U.S.
â⌠and the average American teenager encounters approximately seven occurrences of blackmail or blackmail-adjacent incidents each school year,â Spencer concludes.
With no other option, you pull your necklace off and pass it to Spencer. With something between his fingers, his other movements cease. The officer nods and asks a question, still clearly annoyed but seeming to be less aggressive than before.
âIf youâre worried about blackmail, maybe you should consider the government stipend that disappears the minute that kid moves out of state,â someone says.
âWait, stipend?â you interrupt. âGovernment assistance?â
âWouldnât that end when Matthew turns 18 regardless of where he is?â Spencer adds, twisting your necklace around his fingers.
The officer that looked so angry at Spencerâs fidgeting before leans toward you and explains, âMatthewâs grandparents get government assistance because theyâre raising him. Heâs graduating early, so heâs eligible for another year and three months of assistance if and only if he continues residing with the grandparents.â
âWhat about college?â
âThatâs the thing. If he goes to a college in Oklahoma, a whole ânother set of benefits becomes available to him and his grandparents.â
âThatâs worth keeping him here,â Spencer muses.
You stand quickly, reaching for your phone. âWe have to alert our team. Thank you, Officer.â
He nods once, and then Spencer thrusts your necklace into your hand to follow you. By the time you make it to the car, youâve determined that nothing helps Spencer stop fidgeting. Itâs going to happen. Maybe itâll be easier to tell other people to ignore it.
+1 Unforeseen Attempt to Stop Spencerâs Fidgeting
âThe Behavioral Analysis Unit of the FBI executed an arrest warrant on Elise Connors early this morning,â JJ announces, looking toward the cameras on the other side of the podium.
âSpencer,â Derek hisses.
You lean forward slowly, unsurprised to see Spencer fidgeting on the other side of Hotch. The press conference started over an hour ago; youâre getting impatient, so itâs really no surprise that Spencer is moving more than usual.
âTrade seats with me?â you ask Hotch. When you bat your eyelashes, he stands and lets you slide over to sit beside Spencer. âThanks,â you tell him.
âMake it worth it,â he responds under his breath.
You nod, then glance at Spencer. You donât have anything with you â no Rubikâs Cube, no crochet hook, nothing to distract Spencer, nothing else for him to channel his energy to. So, you try to redirect his attention. You look at the screens on the other side of the room, feigning interest in hopes that Spencer will follow. He does for a minute or two, but as JJ offers the specifics of the arrest, Spencer shakes your seat with his movement.
Derek meets your eyes behind Spencerâs back, his brows raising as he asks Why arenât you stopping him? You shrug, hoping to communicate that you canât do anything. Then you remember something. Spencer would do absolutely anything to help you and deserves the same in return.
So, you shove your hand between his. Spencer freezes; his hands rest on either side of your wrist and his foot falls flat on the ground as his leg stills. Spencer hesitates briefly, then brushes his thumb over your palm.
âElise Matthew spoke to the Wagoner County Sheriffâs Office, admitting to kidnapping her grandson Matthew to prevent him from leaving for college,â JJ concludes. âThe BAU believes her motivation to act so unexpectedly and rashly was both monetary motivation and a socially-deviant response to the possibility of being separated from the only family she has left.â
Spencer sits still for the rest of the conference, something that you have never witnessed in your years with the BAU. With your hand in his, you find that you arenât as uncomfortable or impatient as you felt before.
âFidgeting serves as a physical outlet for innumerable cognitive responses,â Spencer muses when the cameras turn off, your hand still in his. âI know it bothers people.â
âYouâre not fidgeting now, pretty boy,â Derek points out with his eyes on your joined hands.
âWhatever works,â Hotch sighs as he stands. âSorry again for yelling at you, Reid.â
âItâs okay,â he assures.
âNo,â you sigh. âI think we all need ice cream to make up for it, Pops.â
Hotch sighs, but nods as if heâs agreeing. You stand with Spencer, his body language calm as you walk with your fingers linked through his. When Penelope finds outs about this, sheâll have more to say than âyouâre not fidgeting now.â
Two hours later on the plane, your hand is in Spencerâs, his scarf around your neck. âThanks,â he whispers.
âAnytime,â you promise. Then, you murmur, âPretty boy.â
âHey!â Derek yells. âGet your own nickname! And donât let those hands wander!â
Summary: After a nice meal, you start to feel weird. Did you eat something funny? It turns out everyone is feeling the same, and there's only one thing to do about it. Read content warnings please!
CW: Lots of nasty sex. Afab reader, G/N language. Aphrodisiacs. TONS of zosan gay shit (like 50% of this fic). Could be considered dubcon because the aphrodisiacs are strong and reader keeps losing touch with reality, but it is consensual >_> Voyerusim, dacryphilia, begging, dry humping, edging, masturbation, "good boy," riding, prone bone, you name it.
MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, THIS IS (VERY) NSFW CONTENT.
Something was in the water at the new island the Sunny anchored on. Or was it in the wine? The bread? The butter? You couldnât remember what you ate. Your memory of the night was blurredâscattered scenes played through your mind the next day. Your recollection was⌠messy and nonsensical. You tried to recount the night.
In the early hours of the night in question, Sanji went into the islandâs town to get supplies and ingredients for dinner. It was a nice day full of free time, clear skies with a slight breeze.
Nami and Robin went shopping and they wouldnât be back on the ship in time for dinner. Brook, Usopp, Chopper, and Franky went off and did god knows what. Similarly, they wouldnât be back in time for the evening meal. Sanji promised to make enough so they could have leftovers later.
When everyone went on their separate outings, that left you, Luffy, Zoro, and Sanji on the ship.
It was a small, simple, and delicious dinner that night. An intimate setting with just you four, a nice opportunity to hang out with part of the East Blue crew. You were soaking in some modicum of silence and peace (whenever Luffy allowed it) on the mostly empty ship.
Aside from Luffyâs chomping and smacking noises while he ate, dinner was relatively silent. Sanji and Zoro werenât butting heads for once, either. You sat at the table, talked sparingly, and drank some of the wine that Sanji bought in town.
When dinner was over, you helped Sanji wash up (like usual), then you sat at the dinner table and did some reading.
An hour or so passed. You read your book while Sanji prepped food and cleaned the kitchen a few feet away. Gradually, the room got warmer. You opened a window, letting in some of the cool evening air, propped a door open, and sat back down again.
After a few minutes, you noticed that you felt a bit ill. Lightly perspiring, you almost shiveredâyour limbs felt heavy, you felt light-headed. You tried to reason it away. Did you have too much wine?
No, you didnât. You stood up, and as you rose to your feet you realized that you felt like you were going to pass out. At the same time, your body started to buzz. You had never felt like this before. Something was seriously off.
Sanji was still in the kitchen cleaning up, and you staggered in his direction, stopping at the sink to splash some water on your face. The cold water felt great on your hot cheeks, and you could have sworn you saw steam rise up from where the cool droplets met your skin.
âMy love, are you alright?â Sanjiâs sweet voice shocked you out of your feverish stupor. You had almost forgotten he was there. When you turned to face him, your body pulsed and heat tingled outwards from between your legs, radiating to your whole body. He had never looked so good before.
The blondeâs eyes widened in shockâyour pupils were dilated, your breathing was shallow and quick, and your face was covered in a sheen of sweat. He brought a hand to your forehead and confirmed that you had a fever. âAre you sick, dearest? You donât look well.â
When his skin touched yours, your breath hitched. âSanji, I donât feel too good.â
âDo you need to go lay down? Iâll get Chopper to come take your temperature and give you something to help you feel better, okay?â
You didnât know it, but Sanji was starting to feel ill, too. He was sweating just barely and had, up until that point, been blaming it on the fact that he just cooked and cleaned and was a bit exhausted. But what was more concerning to him was that in your feverish state you looked even more beautiful than usualâno, beautiful wasnât the right word. In his mind he remarked that you looked fucking hot. Stunning. Sexy, even.
He could rip your clothes off here and now and ravage you, had you been up for it. But that sentiment wasnât necessarily out of the norm, rather, it was that you were evidently sick, and he was starting to feel a bit woozy himself.
Maybe the food had turned, and he didnât realize it, so you were both suffering from food poisoning. But that would have been very unlike him to not pick up on the food tasting rotten. It must have been something else. Did you both pick up some virus from the last island you were on? Like Nami on Little Garden that one time?
A soft whine slipped out of your lips. The noise made his stomach flip. You sounded like you were in pain but⌠you also sounded a bit erotic to him. In this state, his mind raced. Is that what you would sound like in bed? Whining like that?
Sanji mentally berated himself more than ever before, letting self-disgust wash over for a moment before he shook it off. When he got back to his senses (he had been staring at you for only a couple of seconds), he started to guide you to your cabin for some rest. âCome on, gorgeous. Letâs get you to bed.â
But no matter how many internal curses he threw at himself, he felt a tent forming in his pants. Something weird was happening.
He balked at the idea that seeing you in your current state was getting him so flustered. You were ill, after all. What sort of gentleman would he be right now, if he was thirsting over you while you had a dangerously high fever and were obviously in pain?
As he tried to shrug off how odd he was starting to feel, the blonde chef guided you down the hallway and towards your room. You walked behind him and your vision started to get splotchy. With every degree your fever worsened, you felt something get more intenseâwas this feeling arousal? At a time like this? Â
Sure enough, heat bloomed between your legs; small zaps of pleasure radiated outwards with each step. The arousal-sickness combination was disorienting and concerning.
And not only were you just aroused, but it was coupled with wild sensitivityâas you moved, the fabric of your pants brushed down there, sending an electric shock up your spine as the tingling sensation intensified. Were you hallucinating, or was wetness seeping out of your core, saturating your panties?
The walk down the hallway felt like years.
By the time you were almost to your bed, you were soaking wet from nothing other than walking. You tried to squeeze your legs together. Was there a stain on your pants from how unreasonably wet you were? Should you hide it? The fabric of your pants was rubbing you just right, and, in the moment you sat on the (conveniently large) bed, you convulsed in pleasure. Undeniably, you moaned. A quiet one, but a moan, no less.
You sat there for a few seconds, eyes closed and mouth hanging open as you positively buzzed in pleasure. You didnât know what was happening, and you were unaware that you were slowly rubbing your thighs together, drawing out more tingles of pleasure. Was that an orgasm?
Sanjiâs mind was racing, and he was hyperaware of everythingâevery shallow breath and flutter of your eyes was making his heart patter and the tent in his pants grow. He was fully erect now, and his mind was so scrambled that he didnât even think of hiding it. He almost couldnât breathe. Something was wrong. Very wrong.
It was from this point on that you started to question if any of this was real or if you were just having a fever dream.
Sanji stood over you, watching in what could be called a mixture of concern and rabid desire. Your eyes opened finally, and it felt like you had tunnel vision. You noticed it thenâhis erection, hard and big. There was a visible stain on his bulge where precum pooled into the fabric. His cock twitched when he realized your eyes were focused on it.
âA-are you okay?â Sanji asked. He didnât know what to say. He needed to drag himself away to a bathroom and deal with this.
His words got caught in his throat as your body literally worked against your own whims. Your fingers moved like they were being controlled by a puppeteerâyou watched them in third person as they trailed down your abdomen and came to rest over your throbbing core.
Looking up at him, you gave yourself a squeeze through your pants. Some erotic sound tumbled from your lips. Your fingers started to circle over the fabric of your pants where your clit must have been, and you spread your thighs a bit. You couldnât control yourself.
âHelp, Sanji,â you whispered, mouth dry. âDonât know whatâs happening. Canât stop.â Your fingers moved faster, building a crescendo of pleasure that would crash onto you soon. You felt like you were going crazy with need. No longer focused on the fever wracking your body, your mind knew only one thing: you needed pleasure.
If you didnât get more soon, you were worried youâd pass out. Or something would happen. Would you go crazy?
âH-help?â Sanjiâs voice cracked. âWhat do you mean?â
âTouch me,â you whimpered, fingers moving faster now. His jaw dropped.
Luffy suddenly staggered to the door and leaned on the frame. He was unbothered by the sight in front of him and, quite frankly, he looked a damn mess. His hair was plastered down on his forehead in sweat, he had no shirt on, and his pajama pants were riding down, showing the band of his boxers.
âGuys,â Luffyâs voice was strained. âI feel really weird.â
Your eyes darted down. Luffy was rock hard, bulge standing out against the gray fabric of his pants. His cloudy vision came to rest on your chest. With no care in the world, one of his hands reached down to start rubbing himself.
âIt wonât go away no matter what I do,â Luffy rubbed the heel of his hand down the outline of his erection, and his words were broken by a loud grunt. âI came here to ask for help but itâit looks like you beat me to it.â He cracked a grimace/smile and threw his head back after a moment, leaning his whole weight on the door frame as he touched himself through the fabric.
You snuck a hand into your pants. Brushing your clit gently, you keened. You were on autopilot, incapable of controlling your actions and not the most cognizant. All you knew was you needed more, and if you didnât get more, something bad would happen.
âMmmphhhh,â Luffy stifled a groan as he squeezed himself, lost in his own world. âItâs like my body is on fire.â
Your vision went black around the edgesâyou started to rub faster, spreading your legs open wide and creeping your fingers under your panties.
Burying your hand in your underwear, you hissed in air at your teeth as your fingertips came in contact with your hot folds. Your back arched and a needy sound trickled out. âF-fuck, Sanji help me.â
Sanji froze, eyes glued on your hand that was shoved down your pants, stirring under the fabric. The stain on his pants got bigger and wetterâit was very noticeable. Â
âWhat do you want me to do love?â He asked in a hushed, hesitant tone. He was holding onto his last shreds of reason, trying not to pounce on you, but those shreds of rationality were slipping out of his grasp like sand.
Your vision started to go black. You closed your eyes, lost in the pleasure that you pulled from yourself in a daze. Sanji reached a hand up to your core and ran a thumb up and down over the fabric above your clit. Your wetness was seeping through the layers already.
Some amount of time passed. You came and it helped you regain lucidity. When you opened your eyesâyou had no clue how long it had beenâyou were laying on the bed and Luffy stood over you, watching intently.
Sanji was sitting at the end of the bed, now shamelessly digging his thumb into the tip of his cock, playing with his slit as clear precum seeped out of it. His hips bucked upwards a few times and you watched. You realized that you were touching yourself, moving your fingers in swift and messy need.
Luffy leaned in and pressed his lips on yours. The first few kisses were surprisingly sweet, loving, even, but they quickly turned sloppy. He maneuvered onto the bedânow, his knee was pressed against your core, a hand braced on one side of your head, and the other rested on your cheek as he kissed you passionately.
You made out for a few seconds, grinding down onto his knee a bit, aiming for friction. Your mewls were driving him and Sanji insaneâthe blonde continued to tease himself and stroke slowly while he watched Luffy take in every inch of you with his lips. The captainâs lips moved south.
He pulled your pants and panties off quickly, spread your thighs wide, and started to eat you out on the spot. Pressing his tongue on your clit, the captain drew soft circles around your sensitive bud, then he swiped his tongue up and down along your entrance. Luffy wasted no time slurping and greedily licking every inch and crevice of you that he could.
You started to lose touch with reality againâyou realized, distantly and in third person, that whatever was wrong with you seemed like you would start to black out any time you went too long without an orgasm. As you were making this conclusion, a loud thud at the door distracted you once again.
Zoroâs body had dragged him across the ship, bringing him to your room of its own accord. He could hardly walk, slamming into the door frame, and before he knew it, he was sitting on the bed next to Sanji, eyes darting between Luffy eating you out and the blondeâs fist stroking and squeezing his hard on.
Your eyes shifted to Zoro, sitting with his legs spread wide on the bed next to Sanji. The swordsman started running a palm over his clothed erection. His breaths were fast, his cheeks were bright pink, he didnât seem fully aware of the fact his eyes were glued on his nemesis/frenemyâs fist pumping over his cock.
No one said a word for a few moments. It was a silent agreementâwhatever was happening needed to be addressed, and there was only one thing to do.
It had been too long without climax for you (again). Your vision went black and your mind went blank. When an orgasm finally crashed into you, minutes later, it brought you back to reality and a few moments of lucidity. Your ears were greeted by a cacophony of ragged breaths and deep groans to your left.
Turning your head, your eyes were met with the sight of two people (who you thought utterly hated each other) entangled on the bed.
Sanji was completely naked, while Zoro had on short, tight, black boxer-briefs. He was on top of Sanji, rubbing his aching erection on Sanjiâs while his brows furrowed and needy sounds trickled out of his mouth. Every few seconds, Sanji let out a whimper and arched his back off the bed.
âDonât stop,â Sanji gasped, grabbing fistfuls of sheets as Zoroâs muscles rippled.
âI f-fucking canât,â the swordsman grunted in response, his tone tinged with annoyance.
Your eyes stayed glued on the pair, bewildered and feral, until Luffyâs tongue, buried inside of you, demanded your attention. Was he using his devil fruit powers? Head had never felt this good before. His tongue prodded your pulsing hotness, sliding up and down greedily between your lips before pushing inside of you again.
The slurping noises from your captain were sinful. Your eyes crept from his head buried between your legs to the sight of his hips rutting on the sheets beneath. His cock craved friction. He wished his tongue wasnât buried in you but something else instead.
Grabbing tufts of Luffyâs hair, you dragged his mouth closer, pressing his roaming tongue as deep as physically possible.
âL-luffy, need m-more. Please.â You begged, vision getting blurry around the edges. You felt hotter than before.
Instead of your captainâs voice in response, a loud moan from Sanji answered your pleading. Your eyes snapped to the pair of men againâSanji was squirming under the swordsman, shuddering and clawing at Zoroâs biceps now as he grinded up into his cock.
âCumming,â the blonde grunted, pushing his hips upward, grinding harder onto Zoro. âIâm c-cumming, fuck, fuck, fuck.â
The chef came on his own stomach while Zoro rocked his hips into the blondeâs shaft with more urgency, overstimulating him and eliciting desperate cries.
âCanât stop,â Zoro choked out amidst his own moans and heaves for air.
Tears pricked in the corner of the chefâs eyes, but he didnât tell the swordsman to stop, in fact, he rutted his hips up again and again. He was gearing up for yet another orgasm when Zoro brought him into a kiss and trailed his fingers towards the blondeâs erection.
More moments fleeted byâmore gut-wrenching pleasure from Luffyâs tongue inside of you, hazy images of Sanji and Zoro grinding on each other, smearing the milky puddle of cum all over Sanjiâs abdomen on Zoroâs underwear and abs.
Your eyes fixated on the outline of Zoroâs erection through the damp fabric. You were mesmerized.
Time faded into oblivion. The next memory you had was of Zoro flipping you over, onto your stomach, and climbing on top of you. He positioned you in prone bone, pressing his chest on your back. Trailing his fingers down and squeezing a rough handful of your ass, he then dipped two fingers into your hot folds and coaxed fireworks of pleasure from you.
Zoro relished how wet and ready you were for him thanks to Luffyâs previous work. He played with you for a little while, dragging his finger pads across your g-spot repeatedly and curling them upwards inside of you until you begged for more. When he pushed his cock inside, he felt so big that it was almost painful. He entered you centimeters at a time, and when he finally bottomed out and the ring of hair around the base of his cock met your flesh, his hips started to pump into yours rhythmically, gaining speed each moment that passed.
âFeels hot and s-sticky inside,â he gasped, hips shuddering into you as his tip passed your g-spot. You shifted under him the slightest bit, drawing a sensitive gasp from the swordsman. Every movement from him felt euphoricâand coupled with his weight on top of you, you felt like you were going crazy with desire. He couldnât fuck you fast enough.
Turning your head, you realized that Sanji had one hand wrapped around his cock again but was now in a similar position to you. He was flush with the bed, chest pressing on the covers, simultaneously stroking himself and humping the sheets as he watched Zoro fuck you.
Zoro groaned pure filth in your ear. âJust like that, baby. Fuhccckkk. Feels so good.â
Each pass of Zoroâs length inside of you and past your g-spot was met with a squelching noise from how wet you wereâevery roll of his hips pushed him deeper inside of you and it felt like you were floating.
As Sanji watched, his fist moved faster and so did his hips. He roughly jerked his length and rubbed his glistening tip into the covers. His cock felt hot, it was pulsing, and each brush of his flesh against the fabric made him shiver. He was working off of animal instinct alone, eyes so dilated and mind so foggy that all he knew was that he felt good and he didnât want it to stop. He could watch the pair of you for hours. He didnât care.
Voice husky and bathed in lust, Zoro was getting more worked up. âSay my name,â he groaned as his length passed in and out of you. âSay it.â
Before his name could exit your lips, Sanji moaned into the sheets below. âZoro. Zoro. Hah, fuck, Zoro.â Moments later, you watched him orgasm all over the sheets below, mouth agape and eyes squeezed shut.
Hearing the chefâs desperate, pathetic mewls made Zoro fuck you faster. Just when you thought you were at the precipice of orgasm, Zoro reached a hand under you and started to rub your clit, then he bit your shoulder. The pain felt good, and the combination of sensations was overwhelmingâyour orgasm was intense, shocking, and ecstatic.
A fleeting thought passed through your mindâwhereâs Luffy?
He was perched at the end of the bed, touching himself to the sight, waiting for his turn, which he promptly took when Zoro was done with you.
The next scene in your memory was Luffy fucking you, but you werenât quite sure how you got there. You did remember that right before Luffy touched you, he asked you softly, âDo you want to keep going? Or have you had enough?â
You croaked out an eager, âmore.â
âOn top?â Luffy asked, waiting for your confirmation. And when you again agreed, he shifted, so he was laying on the bed, and you were on top of him.
Sinking down on his cock, you started to ride him. His hands came to rest on your hips and his eyes looked hungry. As if he wasnât full from the ridiculously huge meal he just ate.
Parallel to you and Luffy, Zoro had Sanji on his lap. Zoroâs chest pressed on Sanjiâs back, so the chef was facing you and Luffy. The swordsmanâs large, rough hand wrapped around Sanjiâs front. Languidly, Zoro played with Sanjiâs shaft, teasing him at a snailâs pace.
Zoro wasnât all there mentally because of (what you deduced to be) the aphrodisiacs. Itâs like he was running on pure thirst. Something in him wanted Sanji to beg and wanted to see you getting off to the sight. He was getting a kick out of the cook being absolutely pathetic. He wanted to see him be utterly shameless.
ââm gonna cum,â Sanji whimpered, writhing around on the stocky pair of hair thighs underneath him.
âShhh. Not yet, cook. Canât you hold on for a little bit longer? Donât you want to watch?â
Sanji got quieter and nodded, holding his orgasm at bay as best he could while he watched you ride Luffy, who was practically growling out commands faster than you could keep up.
 âFaster.â âFaster.â âHarder.â âMore.â Every time he spoke, you did as he said. You did so until your legs started to burn, until your thighs started to shake, until he was doing all the work for you, lifting you up and down on his shaft.
He pressed his tip on your spongey hot spot and wrenched pleasure from you. Zoro edged and teased Sanji within an inch of his life while the pair of them watchedâit was almost cruel. The cook was in tears over how good it felt, how badly he wanted to keep cumming, and how much it was getting to his head.
âPlease Z-zoro, fuck, please.â Sanji was close to his breaking point.
âJust a bit longer, curly brows, hold on.â
A few more seconds passed. It didnât take long for Luffy to bring you to the brink of orgasm, which was what Zoro was hoping for. As you started to shake, eyes rolling back in white-hot pleasure from your orgasm, Zoro finally gave Sanji permission to cum.
You hadnât expected the swordsman to be this controlling, this mean, and this verbal.
âMmmphhhh. Just like that,â Zoro exhaled while he watched you cum all over Luffyâs cock. âNow you can cum.â He then murmured something in Sanjiâs ear that would have left you gob smacked if you had enough wherewithal to think. âThereâs a good boy.â
While Sanji painted his own stomach white, you collapsed on top of Luffy. He kissed the side of your head and started to pet your hair.
âYou need a break?â He asked you, voice tender and kinder than usual. You nodded and then drifted into unconsciousness for some period of time.
Memories after this point completely faded to black. You had some notion of waking up and sucking Zoro off and then riding Sanji until he cried again, but⌠the images were blurred. Someone came on your face, two indiscernible figures in your memory were entangled on the sheets again, but⌠you drew a blank after a point.
---
When you finally came to, you concluded that whatever the fuck that was must have been a very strong aphrodisiac. You couldnât figure out what it was in thoughâthe wine? The water? Something in the food? Whatever it was, it must have gotten out of your system through sheer number of orgasms and hours of fucking.
You were still on your bed, under the covers and tucked in along with Luffy. Sanji and Zoro were off somewhere, presumably getting cleaned up butâŚ? Who knows.Â
You checked the clockâit was around 10:00PM. You, Sanji, Luffy, and Zoro had been going at it since 5:00PM, shortly after your early dinner. So⌠almost five whole hours? But you didnât feel like it, really. You werenât sore or anything which was a feat in itself.
Putting some clothes on, you wandered to the kitchen for a glass of water. You were parched. Youâd have to wait to debrief until you saw Zoro or Sanji, or until Luffy woke up.
You walked into the kitchen and were met with a sight that broke your brain for a second. Nami, Robin, Franky and Usopp were at the dinner table, chowing down on the dinner leftovers Sanji packaged up for them in cute little serving boxes. They must have just gotten back from their outings.
Your eyes flashed around the roomâwine bottles were open. They were having a grand old time.
Your stomach sank. Fuck. They were about to have even grander of a time if they kept eating and drinking like that. Youâd have to sit yourself out for round twoânot sure you could handle it, honestly.
After that night, you came to a good understanding of the dynamics with each man in bed. Not only from your memory, but because you went in for seconds with each of them at some point. Luffy was greedy and forthcoming, but kind, like usual. Zoro was an absolute machine, filthy and verbose. And Sanji was, well, Sanji. He was doting, pathetic, and desperate. What a good variety to choose fromâyou were never left wanting again.
ik im gonna look back at this later and go GOD DAMN woman, were you okay? frothing at the mouth. anyway...
thanks for reading!! this was pretty challenging for me, i wanted it to be halfway decent but just couldn't get it anywhere i wanted really
T-T idk if i'll ever live up to the luffy aphrodisiac kinktober fic i wrote :p
here's my masterlist if you're interested!
dividers courtesy of @issysh3ll
taglist @eggrollforyou !
Everyone on the team seemed to like you, except for one person in particular and you didnât know why. But by some Christmas miracle, everything finally falls in place.
Best Yet | @sc0tters
when luke gets the wrong idea of your friendship with ethan you canât help but let your feelings for luke slip.
Wildest Dreams | @/sc0tters
as the biggest test comes for you and Luke you begin to realise that maybe he was only ever meant to be a dream.
~Luke Hughes Masterlist~ | @withwritersblock
More Hearts Than Mine | @/withwritersblock
Series MasterlistÂ
Too Sweet | @/withwritersblock
Luke is so down bad for Y/N
Everywhere, Everything | @/withwritersblock
long distance, it's hard
End of Beginning | @/withwritersblock
Luke's last day as a rookie
Lover Boy-The One With The Relationship | @/withwritersblock
Luke and Y/N put a title on their relationship
Moments | @/withwritersblock
The Hughes family watches Quinn's game in their lake house
feather masterlist | @diorsluv
nhl + umich hockey x platonic!drysdale!reader,
smau
got the girl, Â | @dmercer91
in which luke's behaviour finally clicks and you mess with him until he can admit his feelings out loud
i would, | @/dmercer91
four times you and luke almost kiss and the one time it finally happensÂ
fake holiday date  | @starry-hughes
Whatâs not to like? | @/starry-hughes
Undivided attentionâ | @letsgetrowdy43
Luke has been simping over this sweet brunette girl who has the cutest dimples when she smiles. He decided to keep it a secret because he wanted to enjoy her all to himself. So heâs been rescheduling hanging out with his friends and brothers.
come over? | @ifimdreaming
you and luke have a secret/not so secret relationship
Surprising the devil | @/ifimdreaming
you surprise Luke in nj after his first ever nhl game and he canât keep his hands off you.
Caught | @/ifimdreaming
Breakfast | @/ifimdreaming
Luke Hughes falling for a girl in college who isnât the stereotypical hockey girlfriend, | @theemporium
fratboy!luke who.. | @ghostfacd
Something In The Orange | @orphicdreamers-wp
In which while cleaning out his bedroom at the lake house, Luke convinces himself that your relationship isnât over.
YOU ARE IN LOVE | @aliaology
reader slowly starts to realize that her best friend, luke hughes, has been in love with her for forever. she also comes to terms, knowing that she is in love with him too.
Star Crossed Lovers Masterlist  | @huggybearluvr
A love story in which the little sister of Travis and Jason Kelce NFL stars, falls for Luke Hughes Michigan hockey star.
Luke Hughes x kelce!reader
sweet heart | @/huggybearluvr
During finals week, you are more stressed than the average college student as you are dual majoring in poli-sci and pre-law as well as minoring in finance. During one of your many study sessions you fall asleep from exhaustion and accidentally stand Luke up. He comes to your apartment and finds out just why he hasn't seen you in so long.
rougher days | @/huggybearluvr
After a party at the Lake house, you wake up next to your best-friends brother.
our world | @/huggybearluvr
You and Luke seem to be in your own little world when together, even on the day of your little brothers draft
bedard!reader
The boys finding out about Y/n | @corrodedcoffins-blog
Moments In Time | @/corrodedcoffins-blog
Moments in time during Y/n and Lukeâs relationship
maxed out | @goldengleams
In which Luke calls you out.
"is that my shirt?" Â | @/goldengleams
My Princess | @lvrhughes
After a night out you collect Luke from the club, then in his drunken state admits he loves you.
5 + 1 | @/lvrhughes
Five times Luke was clearly into you and one time where he finally did something
Movie Marathon | @/lvrhughes
A harry Potter movie marathon in a pillow fort with Luke.
So It Goes | @/lvrhughes
After a year of pining, Luke finally make a move, and the team is there to congratulate him.
you made me love the number forty-three | fall to me au | @hrtsdevils
a close-knit bond is formed between luke hughes and y/n l/n throughout the years. they have their ups and downs, but theyâll always be there for one another.
family friend!reader
sweet like sugar | @loveysloveclub
in which, lukeâs girlfriend is too nice for her own good.Â
Into Your Room  | @moodriingz
Luke breaks up with the reader and theyâre both miserable
INTERTWINED | @eleutherafairy
in which the reader goes to get her nails done and luke comes with
DAY IN A LIFE Â | @/eleutherafairy
in which you forgot to edit luke out of a video you uploaded and now people are speculating about your relationship
GREEN, YELLOW, RED Â | @/eleutherafairy
in which the reader (who has been been talking to luke) shows up to a traffic light themed party at UMich wearing green (green = single, yellow = talking stage / itâs complicated, red = taken) and he shows up wearing red
BABYGIRL CODED | @/eleutherafairy
in which the reader teaches luke what being babygirl coded means
SMOOTH TALKER | @/eleutherafairy
in which luke and the reader have an issue when it comes to luke's (over)yapping
PAVLOV TRAINED âEM | @/eleutherafairy
in which the reader has trained luke on when to leave by the sound of you finishing your makeup routine with setting spray
our love ainât water under the bridge! (let me down gently !!) Â | @/eleutherafairy
in which the reader is in love with luke & she thinks he doesn't feel the same due to mixed signals!
THE âi love mediaâ SOCIAL GIRL & THE âi hate mediaâ HOCKEY BOY | @/eleutherafairy
in which luke is in love with the media girl who works for the devilsÂ
Just Friends | @puckbunnyera
maybe you were never really just friends
New Friend  | @/puckbunnyera
a chance meeting with NHL superstar rookie, Luke Hughes, leads to a surprising new friendship
BEAUTIFUL THINGS, | @angelicsoka
in which luke and his girlfriend announce to the world the secret theyâve been keeping
PROM NIGHT, | @/angelicsoka
lukeâs brothers notice his crush on his best friend
IDIOT | @/angelicsoka
in which lukeâs best friend is left broken hearted and with a family dinner she has no date to, so he decides to step up and help.
Halloween Movie Marathon | @qrrieterisunnq
Luke wants to spend some time with his girl while recovering from his injury, so they decide to spend two days together and have a Halloween movie marathon.
Midnight snack | @/qrrieterisunnq
y/n getting up in the middle of the night to make a snack and accidentally waking up Luke because they didnât stop the microwaveâs obnoxious beeping in time.
one in a million: | @nicohischierz
âHusbandâ | @hughes86-43
based off the tiktok trend, you call your boyfriend âhusbandâ and see his reaction
An Hour and Half  | @/hughes86-43
what happens when your flight seat mate happens to be a super cute guy and you only have an hour and half to talk to him
Getting stopped by fans  | @/hughes86-43
Y/n gets spotted with Luke leaving the last game of the regular season and they get stopped by fans to take photos together
Fucking Canada | @quintinh43
Luke is out with an injury, Y/n is on break from school. Obviously, the only logical thing is for them to head down to Vancouver to visit Quinn.
Giving them a kiss | @/quintinh43
washing his hair | @/quintinh43
enchanted by the beauty of you | @wintfleur
despite his girlfriends worry, Luke decides to sneak them into the hotel pool
CUTE PANTS | @/wintfleur
you unexpectedly meet your new neighbor . . . in cute? pants
SWEET AS SUGAR | @/wintfleur
luke comes to ask his pretty neighbor for some sugar . . . but really he just wants to see her
Masterlist | @leaentries
Headcannons | @/leaentries
Through it all | @/leaentries
when the comments start getting to her, luke is there to show his girl he'll be there through it all.
coffee girl | @/homestylehughes
on her way to an interview at the prudential Center, someone crashes into y/n someone causing her coffee to go everywhere, and that someone happens to be luke hughes.
4 times luke wanted to kiss you and the 1 time he did. | @/homestylehughes
Lake House | @simplyhughes
The summer when y/n and Luke have given into their feelings
I BELIEVE THE SUN SHOULD NEVER SET. | @maaneskin
you leave for tour and luke doesnât like it + your bandmate taunts him
definitely the annoying little brother | @heartsandhischier
living in an apartment with your best friend is great, but living in an apartment with your best friend and his brother... not so great
Rink Bonds | @/heartsandhischier
Figure skating reader and Michigan wolverine Luke = loveeeee
MEDIA GIRL | @estapa-edwards
luke falling in love with the media girl at the new jersey devil and finally asking her out
TEAMMATES SISTER | @/estapa-edwards
luke meeting an ice skater at umich and falling in love with her but never confessing their feelings for each other, he knew she had a brother but didnât know that he was john marino⌠she goes to a playoff game for the devs and luke sees her outside the locker room
CHILDHOOD LOVERS | @/estapa-edwards
luke dating his childhood sweetheart and they are so in lvoe and perfect with each other, they keep it private to friends and family. luke goes out for the first time with the devils and a girl tryâs to hood up with him but he declines because he is taken and the devils are suprised thinking itâs not like a serious relationship and then the next game jack and her suprised luke with her their and they realize how wrong they all were
Love ainât so pretty | @bluewxrld07
Y/n is a hard worker. She may not come from a family of wealth, but she doesnât let that define her. Until Luke says something inn which that something is said in a way he can never take back.
Stuck | @/bluewxrld07
In which you do the famous Tik Tok trend, telling your boyfriend your tampon is stuck
Missinâ you | @/bluewxrld07
Y/N had been so stressed with finals which made her not only forget her boyfriendâs last game for UMich was the night before her big boards exam, but that it was his last night in UMich before he left for jersey
Kiss Cam | @/bluewxrld07
In which Luke lets his anger get the best of him.
Puppy love  | @drysdalesworld
smau
FIVE MINUTES | @wineauntie
in which you and Luke are under a serious time crunch.
Hischier!reader
JELLY ON A PLATE | @/wineauntie
MARRY ME | @/wineauntie
three times you and Luke disliked weddings and the one time you both said âfuck itâ.
When you first started working at Camp Evergreen, you were convinced that you had inadvertently joined a cult. Two weeks of staff training later and you canât imagine being anywhere else this summer.Â
Campers come tomorrow, your first of five two-week sessions. Youâre adding the finishing touches to your cabinâ a nametag on a cubby, a t-shirt designed specially for this year on each bed, and tiny touchups with a purple Sharpie to the paper on your cabin door. Your co-counselor, a second year junior counselor to your first year senior counselor, is artistic. She did most of the heavy lifting with this design, sketching out a pop star that looks mighty similar to Sabrina Carpenter from the back. You were tasked with painting it and hanging it on the door while she went off with her friends.
Thereâs a tiny part of you thatâs jealous of your co. Sheâs been sleeping in another cabin for the past two weeks, like some massive slumber party with her friends that you werenât invited toâ not that you want to hang out with high schoolers, but still. You feel a little left out. Like you shouldnât be here. Itâs a nagging feeling thatâs been surrounding you since that first lunch on Grounds. Thatâs what everyone else calls the rolling green hills where camp was erected almost fifty years ago. Who are you to call it anything else? It would set you apart as the new girl.
Youâre in your pajamas on the dimly lit porch, standing on your tiptoes as you try to hang the poster. You canât reach and thereâs nothing to stand on nearby, which makes you give up in a huff. Laying the paper back out on the wooden deck of your porch (all cabins are raised to prevent flooding after a bad, wet summer according to the camp director), you canât help but grow annoyed. Itâs late and you have to wake up earlyâ not really, but youâd like toâ and this damn door isnât cooperating.
Youâre seconds from running to the dining hall and getting a stool to stand on, but the paralyzing fear that counselors who have friends are hanging out in there stops you. If you went to the dining hall, theyâd all see you in your jammies. Youâd grab a stool and leave and theyâd all wonder what youâre up to, judging you in their close-knit groups. Worse, they might ask you to sit with them. Everyone here has known each other for years. Youâd stick out like a sore thumb at their table.
An amused voice breaks through the night. âDo you need help?â
You almost jump out of your skin, whipping around and finding the source of the voice. Itâs the tall, curly haired boy. He must have come from the dining hall. You donât remember his name, but his counselor nickname is Moose. Heâs big like one. He likes history. His dream dinner party is George Washington, Julius Caesar, and Tiger Woods. You think heâs cute for that. You think heâs cute anyway.
Blushing, you duck your head and mumble, âYes, please.â
Moose climbs the few steps and joins you on your deck. âItâs easier if you hand me the tape while I hold it.â
He plants one massive hand in the left corner and shoulders the right so it doesnât rip. The right corner droops over his head and he sticks his palm out towards you. âTape,â he says, beckoning you with his fingers.Â
You pull out a strip and hand it to Moose. He bites it in half with his teeth and overlays one side, then the other. You watch him smooth his hands over the wrinkles while switching to the other corner, then asks for tape again. You hand it to him wordlessly.
When heâs done securing your poster, he steps back and tilts his head. He quirks his lips at the drawing. âSprout Superstars,â he reads. âThat makes you⌠Sunny?â
Youâre surprised he remembers. You only received the counselor nickname today, after one of the older girlsâ counselors complimented you on how your eyes glint in the sun. Getting a nickname from someone else instead of choosing your own is betterâ itâs a sign that you belong. Everyone has them here. Thereâs always a story attached.
You wonder why heâs Moose.
âYeah, thatâs me.â You return his smile and shove your hands in your pockets, rocking back on your heels. Belatedly, you add, âY/N, really.â
Moose nods slowly, his eye contact striking. His smile is crooked. âLuke,â he replies, sticking his hand out to shake yours. He looks gleeful when you actually take it. âBut Iâm Moose. New nickname, tooâ the boys renamed me when I beefed up.â
Your eyes drift to his chest and the way his muscles stretch the fabric. âYouâreâ yeah, they got that right,â you stammer, cringing as you hear yourself.Â
Luke lets out a real laugh, his body lurching forward. âSo, the sevens, huh?â he asks when his laughter dies down. âYouâre brave.â
Heâs referring to the age of your campersâ more Camp Evergreen slang youâre growing privy to. âWhat are you?â you answer, crossing your arms and getting comfortable. Heâs making you comfortable.
âThe Sophs,â Luke says, never dropping his bent smile. âIâm the senior counselor in Eaglewood. Weâre the emperors. Last year campers.â
That pales you. âOh my God,â you react. âYouâre brave. Fifteen year old boys for ten weeks?â
He laughs. âTheyâre fun. We dominate and they do weird shit if I tell them to do weird shit. Just wait til skit night, Sunny.â With that, he backs off your porch (ominously but still smiling) and waves goodbye. âAlmost curfew, Sunshine. Donât get caught by Ellen and Jim.â
The camp directors. You donât want to get on their bad side, being new and all. What if they fire you?
You return Lukeâs wave quickly and retreat to your empty cabin. Itâs your last night alone.
Sometime in the next week, you learn that Luke is on climbing staff in addition to being a counselor. Thatâs why he hangs out on the upper end of camp all summer, whereas youâre in the lower end. You see him in the lunch line with his sunglasses on his head and whisper to your co, Scout, âWhatâs with the sunglasses?â
She finishes chewing her barbecue sandwich and washes it down with a swallow of iced tea. âClimbing,â she whispers back. âThey all wear sunglasses and theyâre all hot. Was Sidney Crosby a counselor when you were a camper here?â
âI wasnât a camper here,â you whisper back. Your campers are all chattering around you, the sweet sevens you have for your first week, but you keep an eye on them in case someone tries to grab the ketchup or anything. âItâs my first year.â âLike most of your girls. You catch Mollyâs plate. Sheâs barely eating her barbecue. Thatâs her second meal in a row, skipping out on her food.
Scout catches it too. She stands from the table, but keeps her mouth close to your ear. âIâll tell you later. Just rememberâ Climbing. Hot.â She rounds the table and gets down on Mollyâs level. âDo you want to go talk to Chef and see if heâll make you another grilled cheese?â
Molly nods and wipes her eye, a tear welling up in it. Scout holds her hand when they walk somewhere more private. Youâre left with 13 other girls.
Luke walks with his plate to the announcement board, right next to your table. He catches your eye when he leaves. âHey, Sunshine.â
Molly still isnât feeling better by cabin time. She starts to get a stomachache, despite the fact that sheâs on a hunger strike of sorts, and you know itâs just homesickness. Youâre walking with her down the road through camp, taking the long way to the nursesâ office in case you can cure this ache with distraction.
âMolly, do you know whatâs for dinner?â you try. Itâs common to keep the dinner menu a secret at Camp Evergreen in case you need a secret to dispense to a camperâ sometimes knowing âspecialâ information makes them feel better.
Her downtrodden expression darkens even more. âDaddy brings home pizza on Fridays,â she wails before bursting into tears.
You knew that youâd get some homesick campers, dealing with the sevens, but you didnât know it would be this severe. Itâs been nearly a week and sheâs still sad. All the other girls have moved past their homesickness by now, but Molly is more sensitive. Her parents just adopted twinsâ you read this on her camper confidentialâ and they didnât want Molly to feel sad she wasnât getting a lot of attention, so they sent her to camp to have a good time while they get into the swing of their new routine. Instead, she just feels like theyâre replacing her and sending her away. Poor girl.Â
You steer her over to the building just off the path, sitting with her on the stoop of the front porch. You give her a side hug and rub your hand over her bony arm, hoping to comfort her. âI know itâs hard,â you tell her. âI miss my parents too.â You look around for something to point outâ a cool flower, one of the camp dogs running in the distance, a squirrel eating a nutâ and make eye contact with Luke.Â
His cabin is playing kickball on the field across the path. His campers are all in formation and Luke holds the red rubber ball, gearing up to pitch. He squints at you, barely cocking his head.Â
You shrug with one shoulder, widening your eyes at him. Itâs a clear signal of distress. You donât know what to doâ Scout has more experience with homesick campers than you. Sheâs the emotional one. Youâre the rational one.
Luke turns the red ball over in his hands and turns, drop-kicking the sphere in a high, long arc. It disappears into the woods. âBoys,â Luke says, clapping his hands. âFetch. Whoever finds the ball gets aux during showers tonight.â
As the boys sprint into the woods, Luke jogs over to you. âEverything okay over here?â he asks.
Molly continues sniffling by your side.Â
You rub her arm again and knock your knee against hers. âWeâre just feeling a little sad today, arenât we, Molly?â
âOh, thatâs no good,â Luke empathizes, squatting down to Mollyâs level. âWhy are you sad, MissâŚ?â
âMolly,â Molly finishes tearfully. She peers up at Luke with her big eyes. âI miss my daddy.â She takes a stuttering breath, then cries, âAnd my mommyâŚâ She dissolves back into tears.
âYou know, when I was a seven, I missed my mom and dad too,â Luke says gently. âIt was my first time away from home and I couldnât even eat because I missed them so much.â
He catches Mollyâs attention. âYou did?â she asks.
âI did. Then my tummy started hurting and I went to the nursesâ office and laid down for a little while. When the nurse left, guess what I did?â Luke pokes her side, offering her the same smile he gave you when he asked if you needed help hanging your door.Â
âWhat?âÂ
You watch Lukeâs mischievous grin widen. His eyes flicker with playfulness. âI snuck out and walked home.â
Mollyâs crying stops. Youâre taken aback too, staring at him in disbelief. He canât be serious. He cannot be telling your seven year old that he snuck out while the adult wasnât watching. Heâs going to inspire her and youâre going to lose a camper. Code Pink, they call that.
âYou did what?â Molly asks.
âI walked home,â Luke says simply.
âHow?â you ask before Molly can. âYou were seven.â
Luke eyes you and wiggles his eyebrows, then turns back to Molly. âCan you keep a secret?â He sticks out his pinkie to the little girl.
Molly nods, a steely, determined look overcoming her face as she wraps her tiny pinkie around Lukeâs.Â
He sticks his pinkie out to you too and you shake on it, promising to keep his secret.Â
Luke whispers, âDo you know that guy at lunch who sang that really long campfire song?â
Molly nods again, tears completely dry. She looks at Luke with awe in her eyes. You have a feeling youâre looking at him the same way.
âThatâs my dad. And you know that lady from twilight tales last night? The blonde one?â
âYeah, she did the bees talk on Sunday,â Molly agrees quickly, touting the connection proudly. âI always wear my shoes in the grass. I donât want to step on a stinger.â
âHey, sheâll be really happy you paid attention to that,â Luke says to Molly, nodding along with her. âThe nurses get a lot of bee stings.â
âWho is she?â Molly asks.
âSheâs my mom,â Luke reveals. âTheyâre the camp directors. They work here. Their names are Ellen and Jim. If you see them around, you can ask them what happened after I walked home.â
âWhatâs your name?â Molly asks, poking him in the chest.
Luke pulls his shirt away from his chest and points to his nametag. âIâm Moose. Iâm a counselor, like Sunny.â
âHow old are you?â Molly questions.Â
âHow old do you think I am?â
âI donât know.â
âGive me a guess,â Luke encourages. âIf you guess right, you can pitch to my kickball game. Then youâll have to go back to your cabin because itâs almost time for dinner and I donât want to miss out on the pasta with meatballs. Itâs my favorite camp meal.â
âForty,â Molly announces confidently.
Luke pauses for a second, his eyes sliding to you dramatically before he nods. âYes. Iâm forty.â He schools the humor dancing in his eyes and looks at Molly again. âHow did you know that? You must be really smart.â
âI am!â Molly bounces in place, thrilled. Her attitude has completely turned, all thanks to Luke. Heâs wise beyond his forty years.
You press a hand to your mouth to hold back a laugh. Luke is 21 at most.
âWell, letâs see if you can pitch, Einsteinette,â Luke says. He stands, taking Mollyâs hand and helping her up. She races up the hill towards the kickball pitch, where Lukeâs campers are returning with the ball held triumphantly above their heads. He really buried that thing in the woods.Â
Luke holds his hand out to you, helping you to your feet like he did Molly.
âIs all that true?â you ask, knocking shoulders with Luke. You walk towards the pitch with him, moving at a leisurely pace. âJim and Ellen are your parents?â
âYeah, you didnât know?â Luke replies, knocking you back. âIâm born and raised Evergreen.â
âSo what happened when you walked home?â
âMom caught me watching TV and told me I wasnât allowed to do anything camp for the rest of the session,â Luke says with a rueful shrug. âI was on house arrest, since I missed home so much, and my brothers and the other campers got to have all the fun without me. I made it through camp the next year without going home early. It was torture to be able to hear the fun and not play.âÂ
âDo you tell that story to all the homesick campers you come across?â You pepper him with question after question, but you really want to know. Luke is interesting. Heâs nice. Heâs good.Â
He blushes, a pretty pink tint reaching the tips of his ears. âIf I told that story to everyone, my nickname would still be Luvbug.â
Your face contorts into a deep pout, affection overwhelming you for seven year old Luke who snuck home because he missed his mom. âLuvbug,â you coo. âThatâs the cutest thing Iâve ever heard.â
âDonât make me regret telling you,â Luke faux-threatens. âI just got a new name.â
âYour secret is safe with me, Moose.â
âThanks, Sunshine.â Luke leaves you on the sidelines with a pat to your shoulder. He points to one of his campers, gesturing toward home plate. âLetâs see if Einsteinette can strike you out, Herc.âÂ
By your second week with campers, youâre in the full swing of things. Youâre filling out sheets to send home with the kids when their parents pick them up on Saturday morning (a day and a half left!) and youâre exhausted. You ran out of stickers for your first years, so you have to go find Nurse, your head counselor. She texts you that sheâs in the dining hall and you can come grab more whenever.
You cross Grounds to the dining hall in your jammies, too tired to care anymore. Youâve been in the dining hall plenty of times before curfew by now, although you donât hang out there like some of the other counselors, and pajamas are a regular occurrence. The boys love to walk around in their college-branded sweats and tight t-shirts. The girls wear their big t-shirts and loose sleep shorts or their matching sets as they brew hot chocolate and herbal tea at the coffee machine. You will not be the only one in your PJs.Â
Finding Nurse is easy enough. Sheâs at one of the circular staff tables in the back with other leadership staff and counselors. She hands over a few extra stickers and her friends sucker you into a conversation.Â
You talk with a guy nicknamed Zigzag briefly, recognizing him as the senior counselor in Acorn. You remember him charging across the field during Chickenfox (basically Sharks and Minnows, but on land) last night with his army of six year old boys. He wouldâve won, if not for Rowdyâs army of 13 year old boys and their war paint.Â
You escape the dining hall about fifteen minutes later, grinning from your conversation but skin crawling with the feeling that it wasnât as genuine as it seemed. Two weeks of staff training and two weeks with campers have not eased your worries about being out of place. Youâre still an imposter at Camp Evergreen, faking your belonging until it starts to feel like it sticks. Itâll stick soon. Hopefully.
You run into Luke on the way back to your cabin. âHey, Luvbug,â you greet after a quick look around.
Luke blushes to his ears immediately. âKeep your voice down,â he hisses, eyes glinting at you like embers in the dark. âWhere are you going?â
âBack to Sprout. Iâm finishing some packets.â You hold up your stickers, flashing them like a police badge at Luke.Â
âBoring,â Luke drawls. âWanna do something fun?â
Youâre intrigued by the look in his eye. âLike what?â
Luke locks his lips with an imaginary key. âYouâll see. Yes or no, Sunshine?â
âYou know itâs Sunny,â you say with a small smile, raising an eyebrow at Luke.
âAnd you know itâs Moose.â He quirks his in return. âYes or no?â
Scout is in the cabin doing her portion of the packets, so itâs not like youâre leaving the campers alone. Theyâre asleep anyway, so how much damage can they do? Plus, itâs only twenty minutes to curfew. Luke wonât let you get caught outside so late, not when his mom is on Porch Patrol. You actually went for the first time last night, since it was your designated dayâ one counselor per day in a rotating schedule. You go once every 20 days, then the cycle repeats. The senior counselor in the cabin over, Freckles from the Lilac Leopards, will join Ellen tonight.
âYes, letâs do it,â you decide.
Luke grins and takes your hand. âCâmon. Iâm taking you shopping.â
You sneak across Grounds into the storeroom above the gym, which is set up to receive parents in a couple of days for last minute purchases. The front door is always locked, you know this, but Luke pushes the back entrance open easily.
âWhen we set up after Chickenfox, I stuffed a napkin in the jam,â Luke admits in a quiet voice, ushering you through the door and following behind you. âI noticed you didnât have any camp stuff. Welcome to Paradise.â He spreads his arms and gestures around. âChoose whatever you want. Mom says she takes inventory, but itâs an empty threat. The last time she did inventory was when I was six and I needed to work on my numbers.â
âShe made you count shirts?â You laugh, touching the nearest rack of t-shirts. Theyâre cute, but not your kind of cute. Youâd like to have a shirt kind of like Lukeâs, with those faded pine trees on the back.Â
âShe made me count everything,â Luke says. âShirts, hats, blankets, cups, frisbees. It paid off, though. Got an A in math that school year.â
You seize a dusty pink shirt with the camp logo on the back and Camp Evergreen on the front pocket. It comes in purple and, not surprisingly, a deep green, but you like mavue the most. âThirty, so thatâs what with the employee discount. Eighteen?â
Luke makes a face. âSunshine, I know I called this shopping, but youâre not paying for this stuff.â
âWhat?â you whisper. âWeâre stealing? Wonât they find out?â
âThere arenât any cameras,â Luke says with a shrug. âThe lights are off and the front door to the room is locked. Freckles and Mom wonât catch us. Dadâs asleep. Take your shirt, Sunshine. If someone gives you grief, Iâll buy it.â
You check your watch, pressing the button on the side so the numbers glow in the dark. You bought the watch just for this summer, seeing that it was recommended by other counselors on the Staff Instagram. Ten minutes to curfew. Youâd rather have time to spare.
âYou sure?â you check again, holding the tee close to your chest.
âTake it, Sunny,â Luke repeats. âWeâll get you a sweatshirt next time. Let me walk you back to your cabin.â
Luke is true to his word, crossing Grounds with you in the dark and guiding you away when you almost walk into a frisbee golf goal. He gives you his normal smile and wave goodnight before disappearing up the road to the boys cabins.
At lunch, Luke finds you in the refill line. Youâre sweaty from UF10 (âOftenâ is how Nurse says it. Youâre not sure why they donât just call her cabins âThe Younger Girlsâ) dodgeball this morning, the group cabin time that replaced your activity periods. This is always how last days goâ cabin time, lunch, extended rest period, cookout, and a special closing ceremony where one camper from each cabin is honored for how much theyâve grown over the session. Your camper is Molly. After Luke helped cure her homesickness, she bounced back. Now, you can hardly remember the shy girl she was. Sheâs the lifeblood of Sprout and delivered handmade friendship bracelets to each of the girls yesterday, which made you want to cry. Sheâs the sweetest kid ever.
âYou look like youâve been through a war,â Luke comments, tugging on one of your pigtails. The girls wanted to do your hair while in dodgeball jail, so you let them.Â
âPretty much,â you reply, shaking your head until your hair slips from his grip. âThe girls are parched. This is our second refill.â
Luke holds his pitcher not by the handle, but by the body of the container. His hands are bigâ itâs impossible not to notice that. Even the girls oohed and ahhed last night when Luke played Chad Danforth in a skit with Rowdy as Troy Bolton and palmed a basketball just to show off. His other hand is balled up in front of you, waiting for you to put your palm beneath it to catch his offering.Â
You stick your hand out as you fill your pitcher from the dispenser on the wall of the kitchen. Luke unfurls his fingers and out falls a beaded bracelet.
You inspect it with one hand. Itâs got orange and yellow beads in an alternating pattern, white stretchy string tied together with in a complex knot, and in the middle are five white beads with letters: SUNNY.Â
âThe last year campers had arts and crafts yesterday,â Luke explains. âI was supervising. Thought Iâd make you a bracelet.â
Your body floods with heat. âLuâ Moose,â you whine. âThis is so sweet. Thank you.â
âItâs no biggie.â He shrugs, then takes your place at the water fountain. âHey, has anyone asked you guys to cookout yet?â
âUgh, no,â you reply. Itâs a big point of contention between Scout and the junior counselor sheâs been flirting with all summerâ his cabin asked someone else to cookout when he promised Scout theyâd ask Sprout to join them. âScout is pissed at Scooby.â
âRuh-roh,â Luke chirps through his crooked smile.Â
You bat his shoulder and laugh at the goofy joke.
âItâs not Scoobyâs fault,â Luke says. âRowdy asked Cheeseâ Scoobyâs co and head counselor, by the way. Heâs doing double dutyâ to do a Big Brother thing between the sevens and the thirteens. Cheese pulled rank.â He leans closer and whispers. âBetween you and me, Rowdy just wants to sit next to Cheese during cookout. Theyâre obsessed with each other, have been since they were cos four years ago.â
âWhich one is Cheese?â you ask, peeking through the kitchen window and looking at the boys tables. You find Scooby with the male sevens, but someoneâs head is blocking his co.
âThe Swiss guy,â Luke replies. âSwiss Cheese. Tall, brown hair, sad cow eyes, scraggly beard. He teaches hiking and cross country. Nico.â
âOh, yeah, Iâve seen him around,â you say. âHe builds the fire for twilight, right?â
âExactly!â Lukeâs face splits. He bumps your hip with his and holds the kitchen door open so you both can walk through. âSo, youâre free for cookout?â
âYeah, weâre on our own.â
âNot anymore. The boys have been asking about Molly all week, how she is and everything. I thought we could offer your girls a chivalrous evening, teach them how they should be treated by guys and teach my guys how not to be dickheads.âÂ
Youâre surprised by the offer.
Luke waits for your response. âSo? What do you think?â
âThatâs actuallyâ thatâs so nice.â You slide the bracelet on your wrist and give it a spin, until you can see your name beads. âThank you for the bracelet, too.â
You go your separate ways: Luke to the announcement sheet where Rowdy stands, his head dipping to catch his brotherâsâ you learned that at the session meeting Wednesday nightâ statement. You to your seat at your table, pouring cupfuls of water for your ravenous girls.
It isnât long before Lukeâs cabin walks from their end of the hall to your table, surrounding it, and chants an invitation to your giggly campers. They leave you to talk it over and during announcements, Jim finds you in the crowd per Lukeâs instructions on the sheet and asks for your answer. A loud cheer rises from the Sprout table, accepting the invite, and Luke subsequently escorts you to dinner.
He makes all of his boys wear neatly pressed polos and golf pants, combing their hair with a wet bristle to tame their eternal bedhead.Â
Moose wears a tuxedo with camp socks, neon green and slipping up whenever he takes a step. He tells you itâs his prom tuxedo, that he found it in the top of his childhood closet and he made do. âThis is a special night,â he says just for you, snapping the bracelet against the skin of your wrist.
Your girls ask you if you and Counselor Moose are dating late that night, during a game of Hotseat. You laugh and say noâ because Luke doesnât like you like that. Heâs just being nice, helping you feel welcome in a new place.
You spend almost four hours in the hot sun, waiting for every parent to pick up their child. Nurse comes and checks you and Scout out for the weekend. You heard through the rumor mill that the EMs (Executive Mentors, like the head counselors and program leads) have an airbnb off Grounds tonight. Sheâs lax with your cleaning and preparation for the weekend, so Nurse must have somewhere to go. Usually, sheâs pretty meticulousâ fair and kind, but strict when it comes to the kids. You really like her.Â
Scout scampers out of the cabin as soon as Nurse moves onto Lilac, hopping in Scoobyâs car and peeling away. The junior counselors are having a party this weekend too. Autumn, the junior counselor in Aspen, has a vacation home nearby and her parents are cool with underage drinking as long as theyâre in the house too. The teens jumped on this opportunity. Scout has been looking forward to it all week, talking incessantly about her odds of getting a room with Scooby, but she never invited you.Â
Some of the other senior counselors are going, others are going to the EM bnb, but you have other plans. Thereâs a Chick-Fil-A nearby and youâre going to get lunch there, drive back to camp, take a long nap, and watch Netflix on your computer for the rest of the night. Then, youâll sleep in tomorrow before the next session begins.Â
It sounds like a stupid night off, compared to the parties that are going on in the edges of your mind, but youâre really excited.
You blast your favorite music on the drive to Chick, singing along and enjoying the air conditioning. You pull into the parking lot about thirty minutes later, noticing a couple of cars that you recognize. When you enter the restaurant, you notice a large group of Camp Evergreen staff at a clump of tables. You spot Luke in the group and he notices you, waving with a big smile. Everyone turns to look at you and you immediately turn bright red, returning the wave before getting in line for your chicken nuggets.
As you wait for the workers to call your name, Luke sidles up next to you. âHey.â
âHey, Moose.â
âYou donât have to call me that outside of camp,â Luke says. âIâm just Luke here. What are your plans tonight?â
âYouâre looking at them.â You gesture to your soda cup, smiling with closed lips.
âDo you want to come to Sarahâs party?â Luke asks. âThe house is huge. Everyoneâs coming. Weâre about to go to the liquor store, if you want us to pick something up for you.â
You draw your eyebrows together. âSarah?â
Luke grins. âNurse,â he replies. âSarah Nurse. Your head counselor.â
âOh!â You feel like you should hit yourself upside the head. You knew that, even called her Sarah your first day before you knew about the nickname thing. âNo, thatâs okay. I donât want to impose.â
âYou wouldnât be,â Luke assures you. âNurse loves you. Sheâd be glad to see you there.â
You wish he had told you this earlier in the week, before you set your heart on napping and sleeping and rotting in bed. You hesitate, giving Luke a regretful look. âIâm kind of excited to sleep all night,â you decline gently.
You expect Luke to look let down, but he rolls with your answer. âI get it. Jack and Nico are going to nap for like three hours once we get to the house. Itâs their ritual. Maybe youâll come next time?âÂ
His face shines with hope, making you smile and almost accept on the spot. Luckily, the workers call you to collect your bag of food and it breaks the moment. You leave Luke with a âIâll let you know, thank youâ and take your bag from the person behind the counter. You wave goodbye to Luke, then the rest of the staff at their table, on your way out.
You hope they have fun, you really do. Part of you wants to join them, but you know youâd just feel awkward on the outskirts of their inside jokes. Sometimes being in the middle of the action is worse than missing out. At least when youâre alone, youâre not hyper aware of the fact that you donât know everyone on the same level as the other staff.
It was really nice of Luke to offer, though.
Your second session is a shitstorm. You have a full cabin, sixteen girls shared between you and Scout. Half of them know each other, half of them are brand new. Half of them form a clique and use their knowledge of campâ one yearâs worth of knowledge, as if that really sets them apartâ to belittle the rest of the girls. Kids can be mean, you learn.Â
You put every ounce of spare energy into solving disputes between campers, separating campers that need to be separated in creative ways that almost take up as much energy imagining as physically stopping the girls from fighting each other. Worseâ and this is the part that you didnât understand when Scout read the camper confidentials and cursed for the first time in front of youâ a third of your girls are off their meds for the summer so âthey can fully experience camp.â Tensions are high. Youâre all too aware of the fact that Logan is off her ADHD meds and that Mia is crying because she has untreated anxiety and that Skyler gets melatonin at home but doesnât have access to any at camp.
Luke always seems to appear during the small moments you take for yourself.
When you make coffee in the morning, heâs beside you stirring creamer into his steaming drink. He comments on your extra shot of espresso and asks how youâre doing with the girls, wishing you luck.
Off porch at night, Luke delivers the good chocolate milk to your table, where you sit alone. He joins you and helps you put camper packets together, minimizing the mess around you. When some of his friends, Rowdy, Turkey, Pocket, and Zigzag, plop down at your table and talk loud enough to distract you, Luke helps you gather up the remaining loose papers and carries them back to your cabin with you before he returns to the dining hall and you go to bed.
Heâs almost always on your team during camp games, standing next to you on the sidelines while Jim explains the rules.Â
He stands next to you during your daily after-lunch meeting.
He taps you on the shoulder and walks the opposite way during dinners.
Luke jams the lock in the store again once itâs reset for pickup this session and when he asks if you want to go shopping again, you eagerly accept. You need to do something fun before these kids leave so that the session isnât a total waste. You and Scout had to choose the least evil of all your children to be singled out at the ceremony tomorrow night. No one deserved it, but you were required to choose one.Â
You look through the sweatshirts this time, picking out a plain crewneck in butter yellow with green patchwork letters across the front: EVERGREEN. This sweatshirt is one of the big sellers in the store. Ellen orders them in every color of the rainbowâ but this is the only butter yellow one you see. Itâs oversized and comfortable and you love it immediately.
Luke shuffles through the cubbies in the back of the store. He fishes a bucket hat from a stuffed bin and plants it on his head. âWhat do you think?â
âYou look like a goober,â you laugh. The hat squashes Lukeâs curls and looks out of place on his body.Â
Luke looks in one of the mirrors, having to bend down to do so. âI like it,â he decides. âYou should take one. We can match.â
âI canât wear it as well as you,â you say, cushioning your decision with a compliment and a smile. Your cheeks always ache when youâre with Luke because he makes you smile and laugh so much. Itâs a nice feeling. The night belongs to you and Luke.
It becomes habit to meet up with him outside of your cabin once the kids have gone to bed. Scout takes her time off-porch first, then Luke meets up with you after. He walks you around camp and shows you everything in a new light. He tells you about each of the counselors, telling you the story behind their nicknames. He reveals hidden nooks and crannies, well-known meeting points for counselors who are trying to sneak out at night, and where Chef hides his best snacks for the staff he likes most.
It becomes easier to talk to the other counselors and you even eat with them at Chick-Fil-A between sessions. Thereâs no party this weekend. Instead, Jack stokes a fire out at the obstacle course and counselors filter in and out.
You arrive way too early, before the fire is even set up, but Luke is the first to appear. He doesnât laugh at your eagerness, only compliments you for being on time and explains that when Jack says 8, he usually means 9:30. Luke invites you back to his cabin to pregame with him and Nemoâ Simon, his co-counselorâ before returning to the bonfire. He shares his seltzers, hidden in a cooler in the crawl space beneath his cabin stairs.
With the buzz in your blood, itâs easier to talk to the other counselors. You have a really good conversation with Sarah, learning that you both loved the same band as tweens and attended the same concert in 2013. A lot of the girls go only by their nicknames, claiming itâs because youâre still on camp Grounds. You think they really love their names, though, and thatâs why they use it. You get a thrill deep in your heart whenever someone calls you Sunny. You hate when anyone other than Luke calls you Sunshineâ Rowdy tries and it feels wrong coming out of his mouth.
Buttercup, the senior counselor for Magnolia, the female fourteens, is the one to steal Rowdy away. She curls up with him on a hammock and plays with Cheeseâs long hair, his flat-brim hat perched on her head. Luke says their relationship is complicated. Tink, your cabin-mate and the senior counselor of the sixes, says theyâre open. She introduces you to Tigger and you donât have to ask how he got his nickname.
Youâre pooped by midnight, new names and relationships bouncing around your head. The buzz wears off and leaves you sleepy. You find Luke and tell him youâre going to walk back to Sprout, accepting his offer to walk you back since itâs dark and there are roots in the woods that youâll definitely trip over. Luke knows his way around.
âHow was that?â Luke asks.
âEveryone is so nice,â you reply. âI didnât know they knew who I was.â
âOf course they know you,â Luke tells you. âYouâre one of us.â
Youâre one of us. You have to let that seep in, going silent during the rest of the walk back. The sky is clear tonight, stars twinkling against the inky black backdrop. Thereâs a light breeze in the air, rustling through the trees, and the temperature has cooled significantly. Your new sweatshirt smells like bonfire and keeps you cozy.
Luke delivers you to your porch, standing at the bottom of the steps. You climb them, turning around once youâre on the porch and leaning over the rail. Heâs tall, so he can almost reach you all the way up here.Â
âAre you going back to the bonfire?â you ask, delaying a goodbye.
Luke shakes his head. âJust back to Eaglewood for me. Iâm going to take a shower before Nemo gets back.â
âWell, goodnight, Luvbug,â you tell him, reaching a hand over the rail and doing Sarahâs new bitâ grabby-hands instead of a wave.
Luke catches your hand and tugs you to his level, his lips pecking yours for the briefest of seconds. He pulls away so quickly that youâre not even sure it happened. âGoodnight, Sunshine,â he replies, walking away with his hands in his pockets.
You watch his silhouette disappear up the path, lips tingling with the ghost of his taste.
The following morning, you have lunch with the other UF10s. You have an hour before your third wave of campers arrive. You wait for everyone to leave the table, picking at your food until itâs just you and Tink left. She pushes her food away and relaces her boots, evidently off to check on the horses before the girls get here.
âCan I tell you something?âÂ
Tink straightens up, laces wrapped around her palms. âWhatâs up, Sunny?â
You clear your throat, blushing before you can reveal your secret. âLuke kissed me last night.â
A slow smile curves Tinkâs lips. âItâs about time.â
What a weird response. âDo you think he likes me?â you ask.
Tink ties a neat bow and stares at you. She laughs. âDo I think he likes you?â she asks. âYeah, Sunny, I think he likes you.â
âReally?â
Tink stands and dusts her hands off with her shorts. âSunny, Moose is crazy for you. Has been since staff training. Half the JCs are flirting with him and trying to have their own camp romance, but heâs obsessed with you. Heâs one step away from giving himself an allergic reaction to get your attention, like Tigger did to me last summer.â
Youâre itching to hear the rest of that story, but Tink waves goodbye and says she has to run. She calls as she exits the dining hall, âEmbrace it! Moose is a sweetheart.â
You barely see Luke the first two days of session three. You have a mid-summer check in with Nurse on Tuesday. She gives you your strengths and weaknesses as a counselor and tells you that if youâd like to come back next year, you definitely have a spot on staff. After she closes her notebook, she crosses her arms and pulls her sweatshirt over her knees and asks you about Luke.Â
Your blush seems to speak for you. Sarah slides you a slip of paper with Lukeâs number on it and encourages you to shoot him a text later. She says she thinks you two are cute.
It isnât until all of the kids have gone to bed that you make use of the 10 digits scrawled in Nurseâs clear handwriting. Itâs after curfew by nowâ you had trouble sleeping after one of the girls woke you up. She had a nightmare. Getting a reply from Luke is a long shot, but you wonât be able to sleep until you send him a text.
You pull your covers over your head and type: Hi, Nurse gave me your number :)
You gnaw on your bottom lip and wait to see if Luke replies. You almost give up after two minutes pass with no sign of him, but as youâre locking your phone, Luke starts typing.
Is this Sunshine?
Is this Luvbug?
Haha
You donât know what to say to that. You change the subject.
Havenât seen you lately :( howâs your cabin?
Loud. Lively. Weird. The boys are very chill but theyâre having nicotine withdrawals. Howâs yours?
Nicotine withdrawals? Mine are cute. Theyâre silly. They all actually like each other, unlike last sesh
Just a couple of the guys. They keep asking if I have zyns. Up for Adventure?
Me?
You!
Itâs after curfew Luvbug
Exactly. Momâs asleep. Dadâs asleep. Camp to ourselves?
Youâre quite the rulebreaker
Not up for it?
I donât want to get in trouble
Ok :)Â
A few minutes later, Luke adds:
Backdoor.
You hear a light scratching at the door in the bathroom, which leads to nowhere. It faces the woods, an old rickety stairway leading down to the ground.
Your first reaction is alarm, even knowing that Luke said âBackdoor.â Surely he didnât appear at your back door in an instantâ this could be an animal. Jim once said there were bears in the area, but that they never wander into camp.Â
You throw your covers off and creep into the bathroom, stepping lightly so you donât wake your kids up. You shut the bathroom door behind you and lock itâ hopefully none of the children will wake up needing to go to the bathroom while you check this out.Â
You open the door a crack, then widen it. You peek your head out.Â
Thereâs Luke, leaning against the railing.Â
âWhat are you doing?â you whisper, sticking a rock between the door and the frame so youâre not trapped outside.Â
Lukeâs goofy grin glints in the moonlight. âI wanted to see you.â
Heâs so earnest. Youâve never doubted the reliability of Lukeâs words. Heâs very honest. You dare to match his energy.
âI missed seeing you around,â you admit. âMaking coffee the past two days has been super lonely. No one makes a comment about my espresso.â
âHave you tried chocolate milk instead of creamer yet?â Luke asks.
You shake your head and offer him a smile. âI forgot where the chocolate milk is.â
âIâll show you tomorrow,â Luke says.Â
A brief silence falls between you. Lukeâs hair is messy and flat on one side, like heâd been laying in bed. He has a camp shirt and camp sweatshorts on, slides on his feet. You can see his strong thighs in these shorts and you have to look away before your thoughts turn⌠elsewhere.
âI like your pajamas,â Luke says. âYou wore those the first day we met.â
You look down, surprised that he remembered. You didnât even realize.Â
âTheyâre really cute, Sunshine,â Luke adds. He pushes off the railing and gets close to you, towering over you.
âWhyâd you kiss me the other night?â you ask quietly, Lukeâs closeness making your breath race.
Luke shrugs and shakes his head slightly. âWanted to. Was that okay?â
Tentatively, you nod.
Lukeâs smirk widens. âWould it be okay if I did it again?â
You move your head much more enthusiastically this time.
Lukeâs teeth appear before he leans down, hands resting on your hips. His first kiss is another peck, a chaste one. Heâs achingly slow with it, feeling out your lips with his. The night is quiet enough that you can hear your mouths coming together and parting. Small smacks fill your ears and you sigh into Lukeâs figure, your weight sagging against him. You wrap your arms around his shoulders.
Lukeâs grip on your hips tightens. He takes a step forward, two steps back for you. You stop only because the wood of the cabin presses against your back. Thereâs nowhere to go in front of you, unless you want to walk straight into Lukeâs warm, solid body. Youâd rather have it on top of you, if youâre being honest.Â
Your thoughts are definitely straying elsewhere.Â
Lukeâs tongue swipes over your bottom lip, then enters your mouth when you open to let him in. His kisses are hungry and all consuming and he nibbles on your bottom lip after you pass your fingers through the curls at the nape of his neck. You wrap your fingers in the soft strands of hair and close your fist, feeling Lukeâs hands travel to your ass.
They drift lower during the next kiss, when you suck Lukeâs tongue gently and he releases a strangled moan. He lifts you, your legs wrapping around his waist, and his knee bangs against the exterior of the cabin with a loud thud.Â
You both freeze, mouths sharing the same space, Lukeâs semi-hard cock brushing against your core.Â
No one moves inside your cabin.
Luke plants his hands on the side of the cabin, your body held up only by your arms around his neck and legs locked around his waist. His whole head moves when he kisses, bobbing in a slow nod as he consumes you, lighting a fire in your belly.
A stick snaps in the woods, making you freeze again. You peek over Lukeâs shoulder, seeing nothing in the darkness between the trees. âUgh, so creepy,â you shudder.
Luke sets you back on your feet. He returns to his sweet pecks, probably startled away from his own lust by the looming threat of being caught by campers like you were. âWhenâs your free tomorrow?â he asks.
âFourth,â you reply.
âPerfect,â Luke whispers. He plants one final kiss on your lips. âIâll see you then.â
For the second time in your camp experience, Luke disappears into the night and leaves your body humming with desire.
The following afternoon, you meet Luke behind his cabin. He looks both ways before tugging you through the door and descending on you, lips locked once you cross the threshold. You only make it as far as the bathroom counter, with Luke lifting you up to sit on the cool resin and stepping between your legs.
âNemoâs at Speedway,â Luke tells you between steaming kisses. âBut you never know when the kids will barge in.â
âI know, the girls are the worst,â you reply breathlessly. âThey always forget something and try to come back during first.â
âFirst is the worst free,â Luke says. âI hate being around when Momâs doing Inspection.â
âSheâs a nice lady,â you argue as Luke starts to kiss down your neck, your heart racing in your chest.Â
âI know sheâs nice. It just reminds me of all the times she told me to clean my room when I was little,â Luke grumbles against your skin. He pulls back and whips his shirt off, your eyes bugging out of your head at the sight.
Heâs all muscle. His shoulders are round, his biceps bulge, his pecs bounce purposefully when he catches you staring. His abs are hard and sculpted, nipples small and pert. His v-line is pronounced, disappearing into his basketball shorts. Your tongue feels heavy in your mouth.
As Luke reaches out to touch you again, you feel a sudden strike of fear and swerve his incoming kiss. âDo you, umâŚ?â
Luke lifts an eyebrow, waiting patiently for you to finish your question.
âDo youâŚ?â you trail off again, biting your lower lip hard enough for it to ache. âFuck. I mean, I know the other counselors areâŚâ
Luke tilts his head knowingly. âHaving sex.â
âYeah. And I know that, um, like⌠Turkey?â
âOh, okay, I see what youâre saying,â Luke says. âTurcs was dating Kateâ Kitty, in Silverwoodâ but he and Daisy have had a thing going since they were last year campers. He and Minnie really connected this year, too. Heâs notâ I donât love that heâs seeing girls and moving on, like, the next week, but⌠no, to answer your question. Thereâs no one else, not for me.â
âOkay.â You take his words at face value, trusting him. âItâs justâ Scout tells me all the junior counselor drama and it seems like everyone is screwing everyone.â
Luke laughs, his delicate fingers coming to your collarbone and tapping along that ridge. âAll the JCs are screwing each other. They think theyâre grown up because theyâre away from home for the first time. Theyâre not being supervised super closely, so they get up to a lot of trouble.â
âDid you do that?â you ask quietly.
Luke shakes his head. âI wasnât ready my first year on staff, then I was dating a girl from school my second summer as a JC. Youâre the only camp person that Iâve⌠yeah.â
A weak smile crosses your face. Itâs reassuring to know that Luke isnât nailing everything that moves. The other counselors are so pretty and cool, so you wouldnât blame Luke if he was making good use of his⌠Adonis-like⌠body.
You reach out and pinch his love handles between your fingers, feeling him out before peeking up at him through your eyelashes.Â
âHave you done this before?â Luke asks.
You clear your throat and cup his sides, pulling Luke closer. âA few times. My ex boyfriend from freshman year.â
âOkay,â Luke says softly. His lips quirk. âIâll be slow.â
âNotâ slowâŚâ you tell him, your statement ending in a laugh. âYou donât have to go too slow, Luvbug.â
Luke smirks at you, finding one of your hands on his sides and guiding it to the tent in his shorts. He gets so hard from just kissing youâ just kissing you. Itâs sexy. You touch his bulge, covering it with your palmâ or, as much as you can cover.
âOh,â you whisper, shivering and giving Luke an experimental squeeze.
Luke leans in, nosing your cheek before kissing your earlobe. âNot slow, huh?â His hands disappear under your loose t-shirt and ruck it up to your breasts, cupping them with his sure touch. âAre you sure you donât want me to take my time with you?â
His thumbs brush your pebbled nipples, which are fighting to make contact with Lukeâs fingers through your sports bra. You whimper as he strokes them, sucking softly on your earlobe. Heâs toying with you, playing you like a fiddle until youâre squirming against that strong body.Â
âI want,â you gasp, arching into Luke.Â
He drags your shirt over your head, leaving you in your sports bra, shorts, and the cute pink underwear you put on in case something like this happened when you went to Lukeâs cabin. You werenât sure if it was overkill. Luke couldâve invited you over to make out, like last night. Youâre really glad you took the plunge and dressed up, given how you and Luke are both losing your clothes.
Luke sucks kisses on your revealed cleavage. âTell me,â he muses. His fingers splay over your back, thumb outlining the straps of your sports bra leisurely.Â
âI want you to touch me,â you breathe out, spreading your thighs to give Luke better access.Â
âWant me to put my fingers in your pussy?â Luke asks, going a step further. He captures your lips, scratching his blunt nails under the waistband of your shorts. âGet you all ready to take my big cock?â
You hum a confirmation, high-pitched and embarrassed by how straightforward he is. Impatiently, you roll your hips against the air.
Luke chuckles, smile skewed. His eyelids have grown hooded from how turned on he is. You can practically smell the carnal need youâre both exuding, deep breaths matching your skipping heartbeat. âTell me?â he repeats.
You blink in surprise, brain in overdrive. âTell you?â
Luke hovers, his lips brushing yours when he speaks. âYou want me to touch youâŚâ He pulls back when you try to steal a kiss. âSo you can take my big cock. Tell me.â
You squeak, surging forward to grab Lukeâs hair. You claim him hungrily, teeth gnashing and tongues twisting. When youâre out of breath, you pull back. âWant you to touch me,â you pant. âWant your big cock inside me.â
Luke moans brokenly, kissing you again with the same passion. His hands tug your clothes off, ridding himself of his vestments while simultaneously trying to keep your mouths connected. Itâs hard and every second youâre not touching feels like torture. The clock is ticking. You can feel time slipping away from you and you need, need Luke to fuck you.Â
Your ass is bare against the resin countertop and it dimly crosses your mind that youâre in a cabin where a bunch of 15 year old boys live for two weeks. You send a general, silent thank you into the universe, hoping it finds its way to Ellen and her strict cleaning regime.Â
Lukeâs mouth distracts you. He sucks your bottom lip and moans as his middle finger sinks into your heat, curling and twisting in the limited space. His hard cock nudges your thigh and Luke tucks his face in the curve of your neck, biting down gently.Â
His thumb finds your clit, circling the bundle of nerves clumsily. His ring finger joins his middle inside of you, stretching your entrance. His fingers dance, thrusting into and petting your gummy walls. He swallows the noises that you make, shushing you when you get too loud.
âNoise carries,â Luke tells you. âAnyone walking outside the cabin could hear you and weâre technically not allowed to hang out here alone.â
âSorry,â you whisper.
Luke chuckles. âItâs okay. I like it.â He kisses you again, squeezing a third finger into your cunt for another minute before he deems you ready.
You wiggle on the counter as Luke rushes into the cabin to grab a condom. Your slick leaks between your legs and pools on the white material, messy and feral.Â
Luke zeroes in on it when he returns, staring at the space between your legs. Thereâs slick on the counter and your folds are shining and your clit is swollenâ Luke seems to lag right before your eyes, buffering like an overloaded old computer.
âLuke,â you whine, and he snaps out of it.
âLater,â he says to himself, shaking his head. His curls bounce with the movement. Luke approaches you, kissing you again when heâs close enough. You throw your arms over his shoulders and Luke holds his cock by the base, guiding it to your entrance after rolling the condom on.
You both look down, foreheads knocking in the process. You laugh and kiss Lukeâs bump, then lay your forehead on his collarbone. Lukeâs pink tip breaches your entrance, a breath whooshing from his parted lips. You watch him thrust shallowly, his length disappearing bit by bit. When heâs halfway buried, Lukeâs hand comes to your chin. He lifts your head and kisses you deeply, slowly like he did against your cabin. You suck his tongue like you did then, mirroring the memory.Â
You make out as his thrusts grow harder, his hands drifting to lie flat against the countertop. You feel Lukeâs length inside you, deeper than anything youâve ever taken before, and your nails dig into his skin when his tip finds your cervix.
Lukeâs spit sinks into your lips, permeating the sunburnt skin. His groans vibrate down your throat, wet skin clapping between you. Your stomach swoops, Lukeâs cockhead abusing your back wall with each thrust. It feels⌠so good.
Youâre a mess. Your mind is in shambles, body breaking down as Luke manages to touch you everywhere. The resin is hard beneath you. You can feel Lukeâs glutes clenching beneath your locked ankles, his balls hitting the thin patch of skin between your stuffed cunt and your puckered backside. Your clit makes contact with his pelvis each time he drives into you and before you know it, your legs are shaking and you keen with each exhale.Â
âYou gonna come?â Luke asks, a grunt characterizing his next thrust.Â
âMhm,â you whimper.
âYeah, me too,â Luke says, his final kiss a desperate one. âWith me, come with me.â
Your eyes roll back when warm fluid paints the inside of the condom, dark vision spotted with stars. Luke continues rutting into you as he comes, as he releases inside you, hitting a spot that makes your body seize, then snap.
Luke holds you close, his thrusts shallow as you both come down. His fingers dig into your sides.
Luke cradles you. You press your lips against his sweaty clavicle and inhale deeply, the heady scent imprinting on your brain.
Your head shoots up from its place against his collarbone when you hear the siren that signals the end of fourth period in the distance. Your shocked expression matches Lukeâs slack jaw and wide eyes, both of your hearts stopped for a beat.Â
Luke pulls from you in an instant. âGo, go,â he hisses as you spring into action, removing the condom and pulling his boxers on in a fluid motion, opening the back door to the cabin and launching the tied-off rubber into the woods.
You scramble off the counter and find your panties, shorts, bra, and t-shirt in clumps on the floor. You tug them all on hurriedly, not caring if the panties or sports bra are inside out as long as you look presentable on the outside. You dress in record time, finding Luke with his shorts on and holding the back door open for you.
âBye,â he says quickly, pecking your lips before you turn and flee, somehow making it back to your cabin without getting caught by any of the campers.
The rush of the last hourâs events keep your adrenaline on high for the rest of the day and into the night.
It becomes something of a nightly routine, meeting Luke behind your cabin and kissing him until both of your lips are red and swollen and lust-painted. Itâs there that he invites you to another party this weekend, this time in a bnb booked by Buttercup. He get down on one knee when he asks, making you giggle, and he kisses the inside of your thigh when you accept.
Your girls ask again if you and Counselor Moose are dating when he singles you out during a Lip Sync Battle and blows you a kiss. You still say no, but later that night in the dining hall, Nurse asks you the same question over the brim of her hot chocolate. You blush and catch a glimpse of Luke from across the room, Scooby on his shoulders. Ethanâs head has disappeared into a hole in the ceiling and Luke boosts him high enough that he can pull himself up, vanishing completely. âI think we might be,â you say before sipping your own hot chocolate and burning all the tastebuds off your tongue.
Luke kisses it better after curfew.
On Saturday, once your kids leave and you donât have to solve any more tearful goodbyes with big hugs, Luke parks in front of your cabin and throws open the passenger door for you to jump in. He takes you through the Chick-Fil-A drive-thru, pays for your meal and throws in an extra peach milkshake that you didnât ask for, and brings you to the rented house.Â
Buttercup, Nico, and Jack are setting up coolers of seltzers and beer when you arrive. Jack slaps Lukeâs hand when he steals two drinks from the cooler before itâs ready. Not one of them bats an eye when Luke pulls you down onto his lap. Buttercup sits down with you when Nico and Jack disappear into one of the bedrooms. Apparently, they really do nap for three hours every night off. You thought Luke was making a joke.
When Freckles bursts through the door with an open bottle of red wine in hand and a mouth stained purple, she throws herself on the couch with Nico and thrusts the bottle of wine at you. âItâs about time you joined us on a weekend, Sunny,â she exclaims. âWeâve only been waiting to hang out with you all summer.â
The Michigan sun beat down for what seemed like eternity, scorching the skin of the inhabitants of the Hughesâ lake house. Laughter, clanks of beer bottles, and the occasional swear words echoed off the tree bark. Only pure joy was felt over the past few weeks.
I stood on the back porch with my lake bag filled to the brim with endless amounts of sunscreen, snacks, books, and towels that should last the day. Connor was with Jack and Quinn by the outdoor kitchenâs fridge, loading the cooler with all sorts of drinks. I couldnât help but watch the scene unfold. There was nothing crazy about what was happening, but it felt so natural seeing all the boys together. The first few days at the lake house it was kind of awkward. Connor can be awkward, though he doesnât mean to. Eventually, some conversation about basketball sparked up, and the rest was history. My two worlds collided, and it felt like one big family. Soon enough, my brothers started picking on him, which was a sign that he was a part of the Hughes clan. I was snapped out of my thoughts as the cooler rolled against the wooden floor. Quinn dragged the cooler down the dock, stopping by the boat; Jack followed suit, but lagged trying to open up a Bud Light.Â
[29.8k]
Pairing | Luke Hughes x afab!reader
Summary | if y/n knew how their friendship would play out, she wouldâve never spoken to Luke in the first place. Now she finds herself in a game of cat and mouse except sheâs ready to surrender. But heâs not.
Warnings | 18+ smut, angst, childhood friends to lovers, swearing, underage drinking, dry humping, choking, making out, praise kink, size kink, fingering, oral (f & m receiving), very creepy behaviour towards y/n, protected sex
Authors Note | slow burning again. Covid also never happened. This is a work of fiction, please remember that my dudes
⍠love lost - mac miller
[small worlds masterlist]
The house next door to the L/nâs had been vacant for six years after they moved to the lake until the Hughesâ moved in with their three boys. To say the l/ns were relieved to have neighbours finally would be a significant understatement, they were running straight to the Hughesâ front door with offerings of freshly baked cookies and a two-year-old y/n tucked in their arms. It started a beautiful friendship between families, but temperamental summers when the Hughesâ would return to the lake.Â
When y/n and Luke first met, they had been no older than a couple of five-year-olds with faces slathered in sun cream and the highest peak of curiosity in the world. She and her father had been seconds away from taking their boat out onto the lake, a bow-seated bowrider that most of the lake's inhabitants owned, but to the Hughes boys next door, it was the coolest thing theyâd seen. Before they knew it, Jim was dragged across the docks by Jack, Quinn keeping up with Luke behind them. Y/nâs dad stood up, placing his hands on his hips in a typical dad manner, chuckling while y/n snapped her head around to face the docks.Â
âApologies about him,â Jim smiled, referring to his middle sonâs enthusiasm. Quinn and Luke stayed tucked into Jimâs sides, âHeâs got far too much energy.â
âHeâs all right, anything I can do for you?â her dad asked. Y/nâs eyes jumped between all three boys, she knew theyâd lived next door during the summer for years, but sheâd never really spoken to them, Quinn was nine, and that was scary enough, not that he looked scary with his brown hair sticking out from under his cap and gentle eyes. Jack was a dirty-blond, eight-year-old ball of energy with a constant smile on his face, she heard him in his garden all the time. Luke was the shyest, but he had the cheesiest grin out of them all.Â
âEllen and I are about to head off to view a boat, actually. I was wondering if it would be possible for you to take the boys out with you? Iâm hoping itâll get them used to the waters.â
Y/n perked up, looking back at her dad and then back at the boys buzzing on their toes, eyes glowing under the sun, and she held her tiny hand out towards Luke, âYeah! Come, come!âÂ
It was safe to say that after a full day of exploring the lake, listening to the boys talk about hockey, reminding them to sit still, her father had never been more grateful to only have two children, one being a daughter who seemed to love bossing Jack (specifically) around.Â
*
That was how the two families managed to occupy the children as rambunctious kids. Shuffling them between each other, introducing various activities from each other's lives just to cure their boredom and get them befriended. The boat trip had been such a success that Jack had insisted they teach y/n mini sticks, her brother was only two and still far more interested in what toys he could chew on. So, they did just that, Quinn gently teaching the rules and watching over the younger ones, especially when Jack got really into it. But it was Luke whoâd stick to her like glue, choosing her as his teammate every time, whacking his brothers if they hurt y/n (which they giggled about, planning to bring it up later). Â
Another day when the weather was particularly calm, Ellen and Mr. L/n took the children paddleboarding, Jack and Quinn picking it up rather quickly, able to stand on their feet when both used the board together. That didnât last long when Jack supposedly elbowed Quinn in the back, resulting in the eldest Hughes shoving Jack into the water, which then meant the board capsized and both boys became drenched. Y/n and Luke giggled, opting to sit on their board cross-legged and facing each other, talking about their favourite TV shows and school stories. Ellen thought it was a sweet sight, her little Luke warming up to someone, having a refuge from Toronto, someone of his own so he wouldnât be confined to his brothers all the time. Not that that was a bad thing, but the other two boys had people at the lake they knew, their own friends and he seemed to adore her, just as she adored him the same.Â
*
Every year the nearby town held a carnival that featured rides, food stalls, almost impossible games and the publicâs favourite, the firework display. The one night a summer when everyone seemed to spring to life, families, couples, and friends, all came together for the memories. Strings of fairy lights hanging around the walkways, colourful, flashing stalls and rides with music drowning out under the crowdâs chatter and the floods of people making it too easy to get lost in. It was one night Luke in particular would never forget, fear shook him to his core seeing how busy the walkways were, and how big the world was and he concluded that if he was scared, y/n mustâve been too.
Both families attended together with a chain of their children clinging to them, weaving in and out of people just to reach a good spot for the fireworks. Quinn hated it the most, somehow, he had been roped into getting Jack through (who made it his goal to play every game possible), clutching his wrist while Jack complained about his grip and that he was pulling him too fast. Ellen guided Luke through, and Lukeâs hand held y/nâs in a vice grip, as tight as he could for a child. He couldnât look at her though, his cheeks burned pink the whole time and he concentrated too hard on getting away from the crowd, y/n with him. He thought heâd cry if he lost her.Â
It was then that Luke experienced butterflies for the first time. The moment they reached the fireworks spot, both families huddled together, ear defenders ready in case they got frightened by popping and squealing. But not Luke and y/n, the only thing clutched in their hands were each other. The comfort of another was all it took to rid the fear, children donât seem to mind if their hands are clammy, they held each other's hand as the fireworks lit up the sky in beautiful shades of reds, oranges, yellows in bouquets and whistles to willows and cackles, the first display theyâd remember and have reflect in their beady eyes of awe. He squeezed her hand, turning his head to search for any fear in her face but she gazed back at him, lips grinning as his blond curls bounced in the breeze. They never let go, even when they didnât need to hold each other anymore.
*
Crickets chirped throughout her garden, fairy lights running along the fence illuminating ever so slightly in the dark. No chatter from the docks, lights in the house absent and the time hitting midnight on the dot when young voices, terrible at whispering broke through the silence.Â
âLuke, move over!â she kicked his leg, attempting to roll away from the box of board games next to her.
âI canât, the wall is there!â Luke protested, rolling into y/n, trying to shove her back to her side.Â
Group sleepovers are the pinnacle of good times but also the cause of a war. Y/n had a treehouse in her garden before she was born, her dad had built it after having fond memories from his childhood when he had one. Her mother suggested she invite the Hughes boys over one night since they werenât far, and the treehouse had board games and cushions in there anyway, all they needed were sleeping bags and roll mats and they were set and wouldnât be disturbed, as long as they closed the door.Â
It wasnât large, a squeeze, in fact, the four top-to-tailing (Luke and y/n together in the smaller section, Quinn and Jack in the larger where there wasnât a big box) but it was cosy and as long as Jack kept his arms and legs in his sleeping bag, everyone would be happy. Except he didnât. Just before they were about to fall asleep, Quinn was awoken by a Skittle bouncing off his head and rattling against the wood. He ignored it until another hit him. Then a Skittle hit Jack, who threw one at y/n and Jack failed to stifle his giggles until someone smacked him with a pillow. Y/n grinned, watching the boy pout but grab his own and hit Quinn, whose eyebrows couldnât have knitted any further into his forehead as he, with a stronger momentum, swung around and whacked Jack clean around the face.Â
âOh Lu~â she chimed, watching him shield himself with his own pillow. She hit him but softer than sheâd hit Jack and the four fell into a pattern of giggles and pillow swinging, burning all that pent-up energy children had. It was moments like those that brought the fondest memories to people, the ones that stuck with people forever and no matter how much time passes, the memory stays in the very place where it all happened. Always. People never forget things that made them laugh until their stomachs ached, even if they did get scolded in the morning for going to sleep too late or being too noisy. The memory never fades. Everything always stays.
When Luke was eleven, his family moved officially to Michigan, on the opposite side of the lake. The town separated them, albeit not far, he still wished he could live next to her all the time, but that wouldâve taken the magic out of the vacation home. She was still the girl next door but now theyâd get to see each other every day instead of once a year, he could invite her over to his, hang out on the weekends, after school, and visit all the places she used to talk about. He could see his best friend all the time.
Y/n hadnât known about the Hughesâ move. Of course, her parents told her they were moving out of Toronto but where to be a guessing game. Out of all places, it was at school she discovered theyâd moved to Michigan when the locker next to hers had been given a new lock. She closed her locker door and turned to take her leave for class until she came face to face with Luke Hughes and his bright blond curls, standing next to her just as awestruck as she was. They broke into smiles, arms thrown around shoulders and faces buried into necks, hugging until the final warning bell rang.
If you had asked Luke at the time if he liked y/n, he wouldâve rejected the idea profusely out of embarrassment, but even years on, he still attached himself to her at the hip. He didnât know what love felt like, or what a crush felt like at that age, but he did know that he always felt this warm sensation in his chest when he was around her, like flowers blooming and he couldnât help but smile and tune the rest of the world out when she spoke. Heâd always ask her for homework help, even if he knew the answers, he just wanted to hear her talk. If her friends received compliments and gifts from other boys, heâd provide her with them. When she didnât have a partner, sheâd find him. When she cried, she cried into him, when heâd lose his temper, she was his serenity.Â
He remembered the first time she bawled her eyes out to him, clear as day and the first time heâd seen her vulnerable. He had been flustered through and through, never having a girl throw herself into him and nuzzle into his neck the way she did, tears soaking his hoodieâs collar and arms winding around his torso tight. He rubbed her back timidly, copying what his dad did when his mum was upset and let her cry at their lockers, the hallway scarce of anyone else but her muffled sobs and his hammering heartbeat.Â
âWhatâs wrong?â he whispered, his stomach sinking.
Y/n sniffed, turning her head and pressing her ear to his shoulder, avoiding his gaze, âItâs stupid.â
âWell, itâs not if youâre crying.âÂ
âBasically, Mark C had this list that ranked most pretty to least pretty out of me and my friends and he and his friends put me at the bottom and itâs stupid because it doesnât do anything but then he said that âthereâs always an ugly oneâ. Jenny found it and tore it up.â She babbled, tears soaking his hoodie, but he didnât mind. He just held her tighter, stroking her back until sheâd cried herself dry.
âHeâs such a jerk, I think youâre the prettiest, so he was wrong anyway.â Luke, fuelled by a bitter taste in his mouth, hadnât thought through what he had said or the weight of it and spoke from his mind. Hearing that a boy thought she was pretty and openly admitted it without shame or fear exiled any sort of misery from her. Somehow, and she didnât understand why at that age, it meant everything that it came from Luke. Luke whoâd grown up with her and seen her worst moments already (like horrifically sunburnt).Â
She squeezed him. He wasnât the kind of guy to throw around compliments or comments, he was a thinker, just like his oldest brother.
âDo you wanna come over? We can watch movies and Iâm sure we can drop you home.â He asked, his voice soft. She pulled back, hands fisting his hoodie, eyes sore and puffy and Luke felt his heart shatter at the sight of her sadness. She nodded eagerly, failing to contain the smile that crept onto her lips. She couldnât help it, Luke just did that, and had that effect on her.
It was just a movie to make y/n feel better, but Luke being the youngest of three meant he fell victim to relentless teasing from his brothers the moment he got home. With bags dumped in the hallway, he and y/n made it to the large living room that opened into the dining room on the right-hand side which overlooked sliding doors into the garden, a breakfast bar dividing the kitchen and dining. Jackâs eyes lit up, first, engulfing her into a bear hug and then wiggling his eyebrows at Luke. Quinn simply ruffled both their hair and took his seat on one of the sofas, engrossed in his phone.Â
âWoah, look at Lukey bringing a girl home, we only got here a week ago an-â Jack started announcing but Ellen soon ushered him quietly, guiding Luke and y/n into the living room. She apologised for the mess, they had only recently moved in and there was still a lot of decorating to complete. The basics were down, sofas, TV above the fireplace, and dining table in the dining room but the place lacked photos and other miscellaneous decor for now.Â
âWhat do you wanna watch, Lu?â she curled up on the sofa, tucking herself into the armrest. Luke sat next to her, an awkward distance between them.
âYou choose, I would pick Harry Potter, obviously.â He slumped into the backrest so his feet could reach the coffee table, just about.
âHarry Potterâs good, put that on.â Luke did, loading up Netflix and hitting play. He wanted to do something, cut the awkward air between the two of them but she seemed happy curled up in the corner, but he imagined her cuddled into him instead. Y/n burned to lean into Luke, bathe in his embrace again, the warmth of sitting close to someone and perhaps she would have if Quinn left the room. It wasnât like he was paying attention to them, so she readjusted and shuffled closer to Luke, butterflies flittering in her stomach as she closed that awkward gap between the two of them. Luke glanced over to Quinn, but quickly turned back to her and sat up straight, turning his body into hers in return and putting his attention back onto the film.Â
They hadnât made it halfway through the film when they fell asleep, Quinn too. Y/nâs head lay on Lukeâs shoulder, his head leaning on hers. It was tough work surviving a day of school, clearly, but at least they were comfortable. The whole house fell into a silence, if a pin were to drop, the rattling against the floor would echo. When Jack emerged from his room, he genuinely thought heâd been home alone the whole time and crept down the stairs, flinching when he accidentally kicked a hockey glove to the bottom. He hung a left into the living room, catching sight of Quinn knocked out with his hood pulled over his head and Luke and y/n cuddled together, Harry Potter still playing on the TV. He could have woken Quinn, he could have woken Luke and teased him red, but he fumbled in his pocket for his phone, snapped a photo of his little brother and scooted around the house to find Ellen as if he had a rare treasure to show her. Sometimes siblings arenât all that bad.Â
*
The summer of twenty-fifteen worked slightly differently than either family were used to. The l/nâs were used to having an eleven-year-old and an eight-year-old, with the additional two teenagers and Luke next door but now Jack was allowed to bring his friends Trevor and Cole. That was four teenagers, two pre-teens and a child, the Hughesâ now with two cars on their drive and double the noise level. Jackâs friends werenât trouble, though. Trevor was like Jack, loud and full of spirit while Cole was on the quieter side, yet still as adventurous as the other two. When Jim had told the l/nâs the situation, y/nâs parent's souls were sucked straight from their bodies, how were they supposed to entertain that many kids?Â
One tradition that hadnât changed was the carnival. That still stayed but the world wasnât so big to them anymore. The fairy lights stayed, the food and game stalls were still the same, the rides had been refurbished and chatter still muffled the music. They had the strength to move through the crowds on their own now, recognise each other amongst the people and knew exactly where their meeting point was. Quinn was relieved he didnât have to babysit Jack anymore, he met up with his friend Brady before the firework display. Jack, Trevor and Cole played every game they could afford with brotherly competitiveness raging through them and Luke still held her hand above it all. Weaving through bodies, hand clasped in his, she followed him with every ounce of trust she had, feeling a spark surge between them and watching his ears tint pink when she squeezed. When theyâd arrived at the spot, the parents were already huddled together, Jack and his musketeers arriving shortly after with various prizes hanging around their necks and stuffed under their arms and Quinn arrived last. They werenât huddled as close as they all had been in previous years, the little groups seeming to form their own huddles and Luke and y/n were included in that pattern, standing slightly to the side, almost in their own world.Â
Spinners of blues, glitters of whites and brocades of purples painted the inky sky in tune with the song that played in the background, following every beat almost perfectly. Their hands became warm in each other's hold, almost too warm but letting go wouldâve felt wrong and awkward, especially since the electric feeling felt too good. Maybe they were too old to be holding hands now, there wasnât much of a point anymore but perhaps they felt like it was all they had left of the innocence of childhood before school got harder, friendships got messier and before everyone started changing. Luke peered over at her, smitten by the way the fireworks always brought a smile to her face. She had such a lovely smile, the kind where her eyes crinkled in the corners, and she was confident about showing teeth. A burst of adrenaline shot through him, and images of couples heâd seen around flashed through his mind and maybe he would regret it, maybe he would burn hotter than his sunburn but at least he could say he tried.Â
With a hitched breath, Luke placed a sweet, quick kiss on her cheek before turning back to the sky above as if heâd done nothing at all. Her eyes widened and her head whipped around to look at him, confirming as if she hadnât been dreaming and the way he smiled victoriously gave her every answer to her questions.Â
âLuke!â he flinched at his name, eyes wide, his worst fear hitting him like a brick; did someone see that? Was he about to be yelled at for kissing a girlâs cheek? Is Jack or Quinn going to chirp him for the rest of his life about it? He sheepishly turned towards his family, only to have relief wash over him when it was just Ellen calling him and y/n over.Â
âI want a photo of you and your brothers,â Ellen called, and he and y/n shuffled over, hearts thumping in their chests with cheeky smiles that kept a secret only they would ever know.Â
Quinn, Jack and Luke stood together, Luke in the middle wearing his University of Michigan fleece (which he wasnât sure who it actually belonged to), Quinn on one side, hands tucked into the sleeves of his grey hoodie and Jack on the other, who, for reasons unknown, decided to don an all-burgundy jacket and beanie in the middle of summer. Neither of the boys smiled, more so due to being forced into a photo with everyone else watching and giggling at them but unknown to them at the time, that photo would be hung up on their staircase and be one of the favourites.Â
*
The problem with growing up is that the big world starts to become smaller and more enclosed. You learn and feel new things that you never thought existed. Unfortunately, the group found out the hard way that things change. The ladder on y/nâs treehouse had rotted over the winter, but her father replaced it with a staircase instead, for ease but she thought it looked cooler that way. It also made getting the mugs of hot chocolate into the treehouse easier than it would have been. But because everyone had grown, and theyâd gained two extra bodies, it meant the inside was even more of a squeeze than before, even after replacing the large box of board games with a small cabinet instead. Top-to-tailing once again, Jack, Cole and Trevor on one end with Quinn, Luke and y/n on the other, but this time Jack was kept awake by Trevorâs snoring. He should have expected it really, it was usually him keeping everyone up with his antics, but he loathed how everyone else managed to fall asleep but him, but he hated more that if he dared wake anyone, heâd be sleeping outside.Â
He couldnât blame everyone for being out cold, theyâd spent the afternoon making friendship bracelets, Luke and y/n giving each other matching blue ones that he just knew would become the most prized possessions with the way their eyes lit up. Jack may have been loud and chatty, but he observed his brothers intensely and learned vicariously and what he figured out was that his little brother was utterly obsessed with this girl he desperately tried sitting closer and closer to. Luke even blew on her hot chocolate, the way Quinn used to do for him. To think that an eleven-year-old made bolder moves than he did. Quinn had told him to lay off Luke, let him be enamoured and that it was sweet to watch him break out of his comfort zone. Of course, the eldest knew exactly what it was like to feel so tucked away in your shell all the time, so if anyone was rooting for Luke and y/n, it was Quinn.Â
The air around her slowly warmed, her shivering stopping and a hot breath fanning across her pillow. Opening her eyes a crack, Lukeâs curls fell in front of his eyes, sleeping bag zipped to his lips and he shuffled closer to her. If this was his way of cuddling, she accepted it immediately, shuffling closer until foreheads almost touched.
âGoodnight, y/n.â he whispered.
âGoodnight, Lu.â
*
Jack vaulted over the sofa, clutching the diary to his chest and manically laughing as Luke chased him desperately, with sheer panic in his eyes and a face redder than Coleâs sunburn. Luke had never felt so hot in his life, never wanted the ground to swallow him up more. He wished heâd never let Jack in his room, he wished heâd been more careful and tidied his room when he was asked because everything from that point further could have been prevented.Â
âCâmon Jack! Give it back!â Luke whined, lunging at his brother, who dodged him. âYou canât tell me you havenât thought it too!â
âIt doesnât matter if Iâve thought it, you wrote it down!â Jack teased, opening the diary above his head to read more of the paragraphs. More of Lukeâs deepest secrets. âI think y/nâs the prettiest girl in my grade and even the world, I like her smile a lot and she makes me feel all tingly when she laughs.âÂ
âShut up! Muuuum!âÂ
Jack eventually handed the diary back, his laughing taunting Luke as this was now something that would hang over him for the rest of his life, be brought up every summer until the end of time and he begged the universes and any deity out there that Jack didnât spill the secret. He was awful at keeping secrets. He and y/n were best friends. She didnât even feel the same anyway, or at least he thought but, if he was lucky, perhaps took the risk, even just once, it could work out. What was the worst that could happen?
âLukey and y/n sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g!â Jack sang, eventually ending the tune with kissing noises as Luke's face grew redder and redder. If he could hit him with no consequences, he wouldâve hit him hundreds of times, he wished he was big enough to cross-check him hard next time they were on ice.Â
âShut up!â Luke yelled and shoved him, but Jack repeated the song, âMum! Tell him to stop!âÂ
âYour face is so red! You do think she's pretty! Wait âtil the otherâs hear this!âÂ
âJack, stoooop!â
Jack grinned like a menace, running away through the sliding doors and through the yard towards the dock, âQUINN! Luke has a crush on y/n!â
To Jack, it was harmless, brotherly teasing. Theyâd make up, move on and forget about it. They couldnât do anything anyway, Jim and Ellen would scold him (or Quinn) for messing with Luke if they continued, and y/n would find out and everything would be ruined. So, it became a Hughes secret, and everyone would let Luke pine himself to death and decide if he wanted to make a move or not. And Lukeâs nerves exploded. His mind raced and emotions tangled into a knot. He was still a growing boy, he didnât know anything, and he was just about to begin middle school and after that high school where y/n would likely and undoubtedly make new friends, like other boys and heâd fade into the distance as nothing but the boy next door. If anyone were to have their heart broken it would be him, and heâd do everything to ensure that never happened.
When you start high school as a freshman, you don this mentality that youâre a lot older than you are. Perhaps itâs because youâre in a larger school with kids a year to four years older than you are, youâre all mature now. You dress better, follow trends, are influenced by the people around you and the media, and develop into your own person and your classes are more challenging. Yet, there are twice as many people, twice as many judging eyes, people you know and others youâve never seen before. People openly tell you your flaws, force you into a shell and all the rumours brainwash the consensus and nobody knows whatâs real and whatâs not, if thereâs a correct way to wear something, enjoy something, who was in your league and who was far out.Â
But it was also a clean slate for most. When Luke and y/n started high school, their friendships hadnât merged like they used to. Luke found his crowd, like-minded boys who enjoyed sports and finding ways to cure teenage boredom and y/n found hers, a mix of different personalities that found common interests out of the blue. The differing schedules and groups pulled them apart more than they had liked, only sharing two classes in the end and Luke despised whoever made their timetables. Sheâd pout when they compared schedules, a violent urge to cry knowing she wouldnât see his smile and curly hair every day, wouldnât be able to find him easily for a hug when she needed it, and wouldn't have him by her side anymore. When sheâd looked back up at him, with glossy eyes, his stomach dropped, and he knew exactly how she felt. He opened his arms and let her bury her face into his chest, arms winding around her, and they both mourned the loss of being two peas in a pod as dramatically as angsty teenagers would.
He did his best to see her at her locker, leaving cute little notes through the vents with hearts doodled under the message. He smiled and talked to her in the halls, they hung out after school when they could, he glared at anyone who dared talk shit about her and they hugged whenever one had a bad day, Luke hanging on longer, always. But as heâd feared, she had shown interest in other boys like his efforts had been wasted, and other boys had reciprocated but for some reason when they left cute notes, it was romantic, not that led to anything. But seeing the real world lit the fire under him, he needed to be a go-getter now, do something.
*
Nothing sucked at the lake though. There was no competition at the lake, no interruptions and he had the whole summer to make a singular move, or at least drop a hint. That was his one goal, drop y/n a hint that he liked her. She was a smart girl; sheâd catch on but if she accepted it was an entirely different anxiety. Heâd watched Jack make moves on girls before, it wasnât that hard, surely. All you had to do was just go for it. And he would if his nerves didnât eat him alive like vultures. This was his best friend he liked; heâd cry like a baby if she rejected him but hate himself for ruining something precious more.Â
Michigan could get hot during the summer, a blazing hot sometimes where the UV was high enough that thirty minutes outside, youâd feel that burning sensation along your skin. All those years ago, Jim and Ellen had bought that boat they viewed, it had sat identically to the l/nâs on the dock until Quinn had been old enough to drive it himself and take his brothers and friends out on the lake. Well, it was more like Jackâs friends as, for another year, Trevor and Cole had tagged along for their lake house getaway.
Luke had no problem with Trevor and Cole and quite liked them as people. So did y/n, maybe a bit more than the youngest Hughes liked. Y/n sat opposite them and Jack on the boat, donning her new bikini and sunglasses she begged her parents for since she wasnât a kid anymore. Thank the heavens for those sunglasses, if either of the two had caught her staring at them, she may have just jumped overboard because they looked divine. Trevor with his flowing hair, always perfect no matter what direction the wind blew and tanned skin that glowed in the sun, immaculate humour that made anyone laugh. Cole who was the embodiment of the sun and so soft-spoken, shoulders broad with inviting arms. The boys in her grade werenât like them, hadnât grown into their features yet, and still had awful haircuts but not Trevor and Cole. They worked out, proudly sitting shirtless and flashing their six-packs off to the poor, fumbling girl in front of them. Her friends would have killed to be there, these guys were so much hotter than the ones she knew, but also so far out of reach that all she could do was admire them.Â
Jack elbowed Trevor, subtly gesturing over to a zoned-out y/n with a playful smirk on his face. Catching onto his hint, he tensed just to watch y/n look away, attempting to play it off. The older boys chuckled, Luke sending a stabbing glare towards Jack. Sheâd been caught, been too sloppy and now they knew she was staring. How embarrassing. Luke shuffled closer to her, thighs pressing together as he slung his arm over the back of her seat, just as heâd seen Jack do before.
âCâmon, dude, uncool.â Luke scolded, irritation bubbling in his chest as his brother and friends laughed until they moved to the seats at the front of the boat, likely intending to get Quinn to stop so they could jump in the water. He wanted her to look at him the same way, desperately. He also worked out regularly, grew out his curls the way she liked them, and wore the clothes she said looked good on him so what was so much better about them than him? What was he doing wrong?Â
Heat flushed up the back of y/nâs neck, tingles jolting through her as their skins touched softly. His arm around her felt secure like it was meant to be there and suddenly the embarrassment faded. She glanced at him from the corner of her eye, listening to Luke mumble something under his breath. God was he cute when he pouted, cute that heâd stood up for her once again. He was taller, more confident, attentive, and wearing the clothes she loved on him, heâd listened when she rinsed his last haircut, completely warmed up to her presence, talking all the time with her about anything, going everywhere with her. Luke was her anchor. She leaned into his side and tucked herself into him, his muscles relaxing underneath her touch, and he hesitantly rested his head against hers, shutting the surrounding world out as they bathed in each other's company.
*
The sun gracefully set into slumber, painting the sky with gradients of oranges to yellows over the lake and the back gardens. Y/nâs legs dangled over the porch of her treehouse, facing out towards the lake and feeling the breeze through her hair, a hot chocolate still warm cupped in her hands. It was peaceful up there, next door was too loud, Jack throwing some party while Jim and Ellen refuged in her living room, chattering with her parents about all the children and presumably the Hughes boysâ NHL drafting. Her parents were hockey fans, but neither child played the sport, not seriously at least, but she knew it was Lukeâs world and because of that, she made sure to attend his games when she could.
Lukeâs footsteps thumped on the wood of the platform, and he took a seat next to y/n, swinging his legs back and forth over the edge. Jackâs party had become too loud to bear, and he felt the sweat radiate off the bodies heâd weaved through to leave the house, deterring him from wanting to join in. Besides, he didnât want to be at the scene of the crime when Ellen and Jim found a broken pool cue in the basement, or a giant stain on the rug in the living room.Â
âWhat are you doing up here?â she asked, smiling at him. Of course, she knew, but she loved seeing him smile.
âWanted to see my favourite person, is that wrong?â Lukeâs shoulders bounced when he chuckled. Something she loved about him was that when he laughed, he laughed with his body, shoulders bouncing, head thrown back, eyes squeezed shut, sometimes when he laughed really hard, heâd lean into her.Â
âMmm, nooo, I guess not. Just thought youâd be down there,â she gestured her head towards his house, âgetting the party experience for when you make it with the big dogs.â
He screwed his face up, âThere is the last place I wanna be right now. Itâs a disaster and I donât wanna be roped in with the blame. Plus, Jackâs been making out with a girl for an hour and every corner I took they were literally there, so gross. And Quinnâs at Bradyâs. Would rather be here with you.â
âWell, arenât you a cutie pie,â she teased. Lukeâs ears tinted pink and she raised her mug towards him. âWant a sip?â
Without a word, his lips pressed to the mug, sipping the lukewarm hot chocolate which was more marshmallow than liquid. He wiped the corners of his mouth with his sleeve, watching her lips meet the exact spot his did. His stomach fluttered at the sight, the orange hues cascading over the two in perfect timing. She lookedâŚbeautiful.Â
They fell silent for a moment, attention drawn next door as a group of guys cheered over a beer pong win, jumping into each other and loudly claiming that the winning shots were for the girls watching. They imagined that it was them, at some place in the future, at a party with their friends where they all played drinking games, and it was normal to express such things openly. Where everyone had grown out of their teenage features and minds, understanding the world a bit better and having fun was easier. Y/n knew all the girls that entered the Hughesâ house were pretty, and she admired the way they dressed and styled their hair, their confidence and no wonder the boys liked them.Â
âI canât wait to be like them one day, Lu.â She mumbled, placing her (now empty) mug to the side. âPretty and having fun like that, theyâre all so cool. My friendâs sister goes to college, and she tells the wildest stories, and how she met her boyfriend is insane.â
Lukeâs mouth dried, it was now or never, and he couldnât miss his chance again. Why were feelings so hard? Why couldnât she see herself from his eyes? Y/n placed her hands on the platform edge, fingers curling over the side, and he glanced at them with temptation burning through him. Be a go-getter, now or never, do something. He placed his hand on hers, fingers curling the same as hers did. It was an awkward way to hold someoneâs hand, sure, but you donât really think things through when your heart is pulsing in your ears, and you think youâre about to explode in adrenaline.Â
Y/n turned her head and looked at the heat on her hand, his larger one fully engulfing hers, âYou looked pretty today. You look pretty all the time. I told you that years ago. I like the way you smile, and I like your bravery, the way youâre not afraid to talk to people, that you bring comfort to people. There are lots of pretty things about you other than your face. And hairâŚand eyes.âÂ
Looking up at him, their eyes met, and he wasnât smiling. He was being real. Heâd seen straight through her once again and said exactly what she needed to hear. But the way he said it came straight from his heart, his eyes never wavering away from hers like heâd been trying hard to put up a confident front. His hand squeezed hers, the sunset lighting up the green in his eyes but not in a soul-staring way, they shimmered. His words flowed through her veins, echoing around her head and wrapped around her heart like a hug and no matter how hard she had tried to suppress it, maybe she liked him a lot. And heâd just confirmed that maybe, just maybe, he may have felt similar.Â
âLu,â she asked, his gaze softening at her voice, âdo you really think kissing is gross?â
He shook his head sheepishly, wetting his lips, âNoâŚI just donât know how to do it.â
âI can teach you,â she paused, eyes jumping to his lips and back to his eyeline, âIâve read a lot of romance books to have an idea.âÂ
His voice stammered, eyebrows raising as his chest became heavier, breathing deeper until he managed to spill the words out, âYou wanna kiss me?â
âYeah, likeâŚit wouldn't be weird because likeâŚweâre best friends and all soâŚif weâre gonna learn it may as well be with each other.â Y/n avoided his eyes, looking between his lips, chest and their hands on the decking. They were warm, a nice warm that felt secure, the contact made her stomach flutter because yes, she had thought about kissing him, what it would feel like, if it was acceptable, what he would think of her and if he wanted to kiss her too.Â
âYeah, itâs not weird if we kiss.â Luke piped up, hand leaving hers and fingers gently tilting her chin up to meet his eyes, âI wanna kiss you too.â
Y/n nodded lightly, confidence driving her to lean closer into him and the world fell silent. Luke short-circuited, he really should have asked his brothers for advice before agreeing but he wasnât going to be a coward when she was right there, her eyes fluttering closed, and he copied. His fingers slid to cup her cheek, tilting his head in the opposite direction while his heart pulsed rapidly, faster than hockey had ever made it beat. Their lips pressed together for a closed-mouth kiss, meeting tentatively and tasting the marshmallow remnants but a new kind of euphoria burned through them for those five seconds, an addicting one that when they pulled away with uncontrollable smiles, they leant back in for another, a passionate one that lasted a few seconds longer with more confidence as theyâd found comfort.Â
Pulling back with eyes fluttering open, Lukeâs hand covered herâs again, âAre you sure youâve never done that before?â he whispered, enamoured by the high he was left on. A high that urged him to kiss her again, and again and until they couldnât breathe.Â
âNow you know how to kiss someone.â She giggled, turning back to face the sunset as if it hadnât fazed her at all. No blush as if sheâd kissed someone a million times. Like it was empty.Â
And that was that. It ended as fast as it started and both fifteen-year-olds watched the sunset until the sky bled into ink and the stars rose, not a word between them. That painful desire to keep kissing her terrified Luke through to his bones. Her lack of reaction, lack of sparkle in her eyes gave him the sickening reality check that maybe it was just a kiss. That when the euphoria circled through them it only fuelled a fire in him. Had he not been clear enough when he explicitly said he wanted to kiss her? He needed to be braver, bolder. If she wasnât picking up on hints, heâd just need to spit it out, but not now. He could barely form a sentence as he processed the storm of emotions. Whatâs the worst that could happen anyway?
Y/n whipped her head back towards the sunset, a small smile settling on her lips to mask the twisting in her stomach. The kiss felt electric, joy running through her veins and Lukeâs lips on hers let a new kind of warmth flourish in her chest, one that made tingles of excitement spread through her. She could tell the kiss had him enamoured, he sat wide-eyed like sheâd hung the stars out, utterly infatuated theyâd just shared their first kisses. It wasnât like she hated it, that it didnât mean anything to her because it did, thereâs no one else in the world sheâd rather have her first kiss with. The problem was that it made her feel things. Things sheâd never felt before and she didnât know if she liked the kiss or if she liked Luke. She didnât know anything, and she couldnât risk hurting him out of her own confusion and stupidity.
Leaning up against his locker, half-listening to what his friends were talking about, Luke watched the two from across the hall, his tongue licking his top teeth as y/n laughed with the boy she was with. One year ago, he and y/n had kissed in her treehouse, and one year on he still thought about it. They hadnât brought it up since, it didnât matter anymore, it was only a kiss apparently. They continued their friendship like it always had been but every now and then theyâd stare at each other for a little bit too long and let the memory wash over them again.Â
But he still didn't like what he was watching, it felt like a festering wound in his body with the way she looked up at him with stars in her eyes. Gradually he clocked out of his friendâs conversation and tuned into y/n and mystery guyâs like a satellite. The hall wasnât too busy, most of the crowds retreating towards the stairs, so while their voices werenât clear, he caught the gist. It didnât mean he was happy about it, in fact the way he spoke to her as if she were stupid didnât quite sit with him right, how could she like him? Lukeâs glare only stiffened, burned holes through the guyâs head the more he swayed her with his compliments and smiles, God was it unbearable and Luke was at his wits end with it. Weeks he had seen the two together and his croaky, fifteen-year-old selfâs voice echoed, âbe a go-getterâ.Â
He pushed off his locker, weaving around the passing students and just as he was so close to interfering, he wished heâd never left at all. The world moved around him, but the volume never made it, a ringing in his ears as the words left her mouth easily.Â
Itâs a date, see you Saturday.
He huffed with a lump in his throat, stomach dropping and his heart bleeding out his chest and onto the linoleum, but his feet didnât move fast enough as by the time heâd processed what heâd seen, heard, his eyes met hers and he found himself approaching her. Even at sixteen, he towered over her, shoulder leaning against her locker with his hands in the pockets of his jeans, eyes glossing but holding back the tears.Â
âYou two seem friendly lately, not goinâ around finding my replacement, huh?â he half-joked, trying his best to put on his signature smirk.
Y/n folded her arms and raised an eyebrow, his eyes catching sight of the friendship bracelet he made her when they were kids, âStop it, weâre just talking. And nobody could replace you, Lulu. Youâll always be my number one bestie.âÂ
Bestie.
âSo, whereâs he taking you on Saturday? Not a walk in the woods, I hope. You know what happens there.â He didnât care, no, no, no he didnât. At least thatâs what he had tried to tell himself. He just needed to know she was safe, yeah. That was it.
âHeâs not gonna kill me, and if you must know, weâre going to the roller rink, he wants to be cute and teach me to skate.â She watched Luke cock an eyebrow; his smirk still glued to his lips as if to non-verbally ask her âReally? Does he not know you at all?â. âWhat? I tried to tell him I already knew but he insisted and like, heâs cute and he was trying so why not?â
The bell shrilled and crowds began shuffling. Luke raised his hands to surrender while she rolled her eyes, pushing him by the chest backwards towards their class as he chuckled at her, spinning around. His heart had officially been shattered to pieces; he wasnât even in the running. Heâd lost a love, but he still had his friend, but the part that stung was that he lost his first love to someone else. He had been too slow, a coward. Maybe it would have turned out differently if he hadnât agreed to kiss her in the first place. Maybe he should have said something in the treehouse. Seeing them together would only add more salt to the wound and he didnât think he could just get over that quickly, couldnât bear to see them in school together, it was like having an arrow labelled above his head labelling him as a loser.Â
âOkay, okay, Iâll leave you two at it then. Call me if you need anything.âÂ
Y/n stopped pushing him and walked close by his side, looping her arm around his and holding tight to not lose him amongst the crowd. Luke wished he could have enjoyed the affection, but it was different now. He was just a friend and how would her potential boyfriend feel about her clinging onto him? Would it be his fault? Oh God why was it so confusing.
One weekend. One date was all it took. Luke spent the whole weekend in his basement, shooting pucks and not caring if they hit the wall or the net, that wasnât the point, all just to clear his head and focus on something else. He started to hope his dad would yell at him for being too rough, it would give him something else to be upset about. After the puck slammed into the wall, he stood up straight to catch his breath. Hockey was supposed to channel his energy so why did his body feel so heavy still? His eyes burned hot, glazed over and he wiped the streaming tears with his sleeve. He was used to being on his own now, both his older brothers in the NHL and now his best friend had someone else. The one time he needed brotherly advice, comfort, to hear their voices the most, they couldnât be there, and a call wasnât the same as sitting on the porch roof watching the sunset.
Meanwhile, y/nâs face held an amused facade while her date mansplained Fantasy Football at her, eyes subtly flickering to the clock on the wall periodically. The whole date hadnât gone badly, he paid, bought them drinks, listened intently to every word she spoke but what more was there? Theyâd been skating in circles, and heâd been trying desperately to appeal to her, bragging about his football achievements and now Fantasy Football. He was nice, cute, yeah, but y/n couldnât help but think of Luke every time a word left his mouth. This guy was not special, her stomach was silent, no butterflies like Luke gave her. His smile wasnât contagious like Lukeâs. Luke wouldâve taken her somewhere new they could both try or somewhere they both loved, Lukeâs voice was easy to listen to when he told hockey stories, and heâd already explained fantasy sports to her the same way he would have explained it to a guy. All she thought about was Luke, compared to every guy she met. Poor Luke. She should have told him she liked the kiss then maybe he wouldnât have run blue in the hallway. She couldnât turn the clock back, but what she could do is move forward with the realisation that she did like Luke Hughes, more than a friend.Â
Sheâd told Luke about the disaster date, and heâd been surprised to hear she hadnât enjoyed it since heâd watched the two shower each other with nothing but attention and affection for weeks but Luke had made up his mind. It was time for him to take the backseat, let go of their childhood.Â
Once Monday came around, Luke had to try his best to push his own feelings aside, lay off the romance hints, less like her wannabe boyfriend and act more like a friend, she wasnât interested in him now, she had other boys, and he had to at least pretend he wasnât interested in her. They were besties, nothing more, nothing less. She said it herself. Heâd lost his chance. Even if he tried to ask her out now, what if she rejected him? Laughed in his face? His feelings mattered too, and the last person he wanted hurting them was y/n. Y/n and Luke had made their agreement to be friends, and they hated themselves for letting the flowers of a bittersweet tragedy grow in their lungs violently unless they loved each other the same.
His logic may have been screwed, but it was the only way he would be able to stay in her life, yes girls and guys could be best friends but when you were in love with yours who liked someone else, that became horrendous to bear. Especially on the daily. How was he supposed to be just her friend if he had to be reminded of why heâd go to all ends of the Earth for her every day? Heâd head straight to his friends between bells, pretending heâd not seen her face sink when he walked past. At lunch he sat with his friends most of the time, got involved with their shenanigans while she sat with her group, as if he didnât notice the longing in her eyes. In classes, heâd join his friends a little more, not all the time but more than he used to. When the final bell rang, it was her he sat with on the bus, and it became the best part of the day listening to his voice talk, having a conversation like they used to. It wasnât until heâd started putting a wedge between them that he realised how deep heâd fallen into her grip, and getting out would be the hardest, most confusing and painful part of it.Â
Y/n wasnât used to the whirlwind of emotions, the on-off behaviour but after months of Luke being unable to decide if he wanted to hang out with her or not, sheâd gotten used to it. She didnât expect to see him after the first bell anymore, didnât expect him to find her in the halls (but he did give her a smile and that little upwards nod guys do when they passed each other) or at lunch anymore but when they met on the bus at the end of school, they fell back into each other like magnets. She didnât know what she did wrong that made him build such a wall, but for the first few weeks there wasnât a night she hadnât cried about it, not a day where sheâd see his face in the halls and her heart not gain a heavy weight. It had her emotions in one giant blender, he wanted nothing to do with her throughout the day but once they got home, he replied to texts almost instantly, hung out with her over the weekends, glared daggers into every guy who ever spoke to her and what the hell was going on? He had her engulfed in blankets of loneliness and then bouncing back into that warmth of giddy sensations. The one thing she did know for certain was that the further apart they floated, the more she realised how much she loved Luke Hughes.
*Â
When Valentine's Day rolled around, y/n closed her locker, cheeks aching from smiling so much. It would be the day she asked Luke if he wanted to celebrate the day of love with her, go into town, on a date. As she turned to leave, Roller Rink guy unfortunately cornered y/n to her locker, a cocky grin on his face. Nausea riddled; her smile dropped. She thought telling him that they should just be friends would be enough, but he was persistent on wooing her. Luke chewed the inside of his cheek, a cold glare on Roller Rink, he couldnât have cared less about his name, he didnât want that taste on his tongue. How could this guy not get the memo?Â
âSo, you got plans tonight? Gonna give me a second chance?â Roller Rink smirked, stepping that inch too close for her liking. So close that y/n stepped back, bumping into someone else a lot taller, broader.
Luke almost left it, almost walked away but his blood boiled too hot, âWe do, yeah. Sorry buddy, maybe next time.âÂ
âWell look who it is, havenât seen you in a while, Hughes. How about you let the girl speak, yeah?â Roller Rink mocked, condescending. Y/n had never been more grateful for Luke to step in, never been more grateful for a friend like him. Relief fell through her, shoulders becoming weightless, and her muscles finally relaxed.Â
âActually, heâs right. I asked him to meet me here. Bye.â She stuttered, grabbing Lukeâs hand and dragging him through the hall, leaving the other guy in their dust. She grinned the whole way to Lukeâs, hoping he was just as ecstatic as she was. He stuffed his hands in his pockets, falling weak to her.
It was their childhood all over again, Luke and y/n curled up on the sofa, but this time she had her head tucked into his chest while his arm sat comfortably over the back of the sofa. Her ear pressed to his heart, listening to its calm rhythm as Harry Potter played on the TV. They werenât supposed to be that close; he was supposed to be keeping his distance, pushing those ecstatic feelings aside, being her friend but the way she snuggled into him, fitting like a glove in his figure, had his head spinning. The last time, it would be the last time heâd let her do this. Perhaps he could make an exception for Valentine's Day.
Valentineâs Day had been the exception, and the final one. When she left his house, heâd taken a long shower, staring at the wall and rethinking his options. Y/n was playing with his feelings, tugging his heart strings and he couldnât do it anymore. He couldnât cope with the bursts of paradise when their met eyes, only to remember that if she really liked him, she wouldnât have agreed to a date, and wouldn't have avoided his eyes after kissing him. Maybe he was immature, unable to regulate such strong emotions, but he hated the back and forth, he just wanted someone he couldnât have. She went on a date; she didnât like it so she went back to him to seek the affection he couldnât give her. Best friends werenât supposed to be rebounds; he didnât want to be a rebound. If he was to have her, he wanted her, exclusively but maybe right now just wasnât the time.Â
He stopped speaking to her in class, she tried her best to crack him, grab his attention and hopefully heâd return her energy like he used to but all he gave were dry, short replies. He couldnât let himself fall for the sweet sound of her voice and she couldnât let him ignore her interest. When theyâd pass each other in the halls, sheâd smile that warming, toothy grin at him, but he barely looked at her. She caught him after school, asking him if he was taking the bus but Luke waved her off, saying he was carpooling with his friends. Luke was always busy when sheâd asked to hang out, which was okay, he was allowed to have friends. At least he still texted back, not instantly and the messages were shorter, but she took what she could get. Was part of growing up watching friendships float apart? She knew that the older you got, your friends either become closer or further from you, and Luke had been her childhood friend, but she never imagined he would be the one to drift. He was also a human though, he had his own life and his own friends, she would always be there, but his current friends wouldnât so maybe he was just making the most of things. It made sense, next year they would be graduating, and theyâd never see most people again. After all, she still had summer, and youâll never have the summer you had at seventeen.Â
*
Y/n pulled the photo album out of her wardrobe, brushing the dust off before sitting cross-legged on her bed. It had been a while since sheâd taken a walk down memory lane, more prompted to revise over what life was like before high school started, when times were simpler and smiling came easy.Â
Each photo still had pristine quality, her and the Hughesâ boys on paddleboards, from her and Luke sat together to Jack and Quinn drenched with a capsized board, their treehouse sleepover where they got yelled at in the next morning for being noisy, the time where they played roller hockey and she grazed her elbow, her decorating Jackâs hair with glitter hair clips and a whole lot of her and Luke thick and thieves. Her and Luke at the fireworks, hand in hand, playing Swingball, asleep on the sofa, making friendship bracelets. The bracelets they still wore, even if they werenât as close anymore. Both blue with a little white braided in, a matching pair.Â
In every photo of herself and Luke, there was not even one where Lukeâs attention was on the camera, his eyes were always lit up and focused on her. Each page she turned, the memory played like tapes, vividly and she remembered all the times heâd tried his best to impress her. When she told him that she liked his hair longer, he grew it. When she liked a specific item of clothing, he wore it more. He defended her when Jack and his friends laughed at her, held her closer in the crowds at the carnival, everything about his life revolved around her. Kissing her cheek when they were eleven must have taken a lot of courage and she brushed it off as a friendly gesture. And what did she do? After all his efforts, the way he was utterly enamoured when they kissed in her treehouse, she went on to agree to a date with some loser she didnât really like because she was too oblivious to realise that Luke, her best friend, had been heads over heels for her since they were kids, and she was too late in accepting that. Luke would have never kissed her if he didnât like her and now at seventeen, he really didnât.
How things fall into a complex circle, a game of cat and mouse. Chasing, running, chasing and running, back and forth, back and forth. Guilt tore through her body and she slammed the album closed, running her hands over her face. Perfect, she liked him back the moment he was hard to reach. That horrid guilt in her, that empty feeling when her stomach dropped to the bottom, heart twisting in her chest when she thought about the pain, sheâd put him through. It wasnât over, it couldnât be over, there mustâve been some part of Luke that still held on to hope. What felt like a fire lit inside her stomach, she wasnât going to lose him yet. The summer was approaching, and over summer sheâd have him all to herself with endless possibilities to talk to him, win him over again, prove that he wasnât just a friend. She would not give up on Luke.
*
When the summer hit, all of Lukeâs efforts hit the fan. She lived right next door now. He woke up every day only to see y/n flaunting around in her bikinis, he didnât think she could get more beautiful but now she was stunning and as much as Luke tried not to check her out, he did every time. Luke himself spent more time at the gym, grew into his features and he towered over his brothers, he wasnât hard to miss, y/n resisted the urge to gawk at him with his summer glow.Â
It felt like his childhood all over again, all of them hanging out on the boat, him and y/n sitting opposite each other, Quinn driving, Jack, Trevor, Cole towards the back hogging the wakeboard and now y/nâs friend, Kim (who had bulging heart eyes towards Cole) sitting next to her. Every now and then heâd catch a glimpse of y/n from the corner of his eye, posed pretty with her chest puffed out, large sunglasses perched on her nose with her lips wrapped around the straw of a canned cocktail as she listened to Kim talk. Butterflies fluttered into his stomach all over again, he hadnât looked at her properly in so long, he felt eleven again looking at her like she was the embodiment of Aphrodite sent down to Earth for him. What he couldnât see was y/n looking at him back, eyes raking his figure and the way his curls bounced in the breeze, shorts fit around his thighs, smirk sat pretty on his lips. It was like the sun shone a halo around his head and her heart couldnât have beat more profoundly out her chest.
When the evening fell, Luke stood on his porch, empty bottles of beer in his hands as he watched her boat pull into her dock, Kim lugging a picnic bag over her shoulder and waving off as she left for home. He hadnât meant to, but it was a moment of weakness, one of those moments where he wondered if he had just been a little stronger, able to cope better with being so close to her while living in pain, if heâd be the one out there in the boat, enjoying a cute picnic dinner on the waters. Â
Y/n struggled as she failed to tie the boat to the dock, the knot slipping, and she groaned in frustration. After a long day in the sun, the last thing she wanted to deal with was her own lack of strength. With the rope clutched in her fingers, she groaned loudly, glancing around for at least someone to help her until her eyes fell upon Luke at his porch. She called his name, waving him over desperately, letting him discard the bottles in his hands before he waltzed his way down the porch and through his garden.
âNeed help?â Lukeâs voice called out to her as he strolled along the dock, shading his eyes from the setting sun as he approached her.
She stepped away, handing him the rope, watching the way his arms flexed as he pulled the knot tight against the cleat, âThanks, that was being a pain in the ass.âÂ
âThey always are, the worst is waking up and seeing the rope snapped, thatâs a pain in the ass.â He chuckled, remembering the morning he found Quinn with his head in his hands with a snapped rope at his feet and boat floating four feet away from the dock. They stood in an uncomfortable silence, the lakeâs critters singing their songs with the occasional car driving in the distance. He stuffed his hands into his pockets, shaking his hair out of his eyes, âSooo, itâs been a while, huh? How have, uh, you been?âÂ
âAll right, you? Congrats on fourth overall pick, by the way, I knew youâd get there. You excited?â She smiled, rolling back on her heels and folding her arms under her chest.
âYeah, Iâve been okay too. Sorry I didnât reply to your text, I had so many Iâm still getting through them, but thank you,â he chuckled, watching her shoulders raise as she gave a little huff in amusement, âand I guess, Iâm happy that Iâll be with Jack but itâs gonna be tough. But Iâll worry about it later, Iâm planning on college first, making some friends and that. Speaking of, Cameron, really?â
She forgot about him; he was that irrelevant she had actually forgotten sheâd briefly dated her classmate, Cameron. She only did it in hope Luke would interrogate her, it made her a horrible person, yes, but Cameron was no saint by any means either. She hoped Luke would do what he normally did, get protective and ask her a million questions, like he did with Roller Rink, and heâd swoop in and woo her away instead, but when Luke only glared and scoffed, her plan for his attention had failed.Â
Y/nâs eyebrows raised, and she blew out a defeated puff of air, shaking her head at Luke, âDonât even go there, Lu. A wet rag would have a more interesting personality than he ever would. Thank God itâs over, finally. Surprised you didnât interrogate me at the time.â
âEh, I thought about it, but I didnât wanna be that guy, yâknow?â he shrugged, a static sensation crawling its way from the pits of his stomach where heâd shoved it, scuttling through his limbs and into his muscles. That euphoric feeling from the treehouse two years or so ago prying its way back into his memory the more they spoke. The feeling was exactly what he was running from, he couldnât help liking her more than a friend but all the weight on his shoulders lifted and he felt free again, like being a professional hockey prodigy didnât matter to her, she would like him anyway as just Luke.Â
âYouâd never annoy me like that.â They fell into a silence, Luke prodding the decking with the tip of his slides, y/n watching him occupy himself. She forgot how being with him felt. He felt exactly like they were standing, warm summer evenings on the docks with the breeze in their hair, in a smitten haze where nothing mattered. âLu? Whereâd you go? What happened to us?â
He froze and stood properly, eyes squinting from the sunâs glare as he looked up slowly. He hadnât gone anywhere, is what he wanted to say but the wet glaze in her eyes suggested that y/n wouldâve torn him to shreds if he kept avoiding her. Heâd hurt her enough. His throat dried, a lump forming when he swallowed, âIâŚI got swept up in this whole draft business, family were really on my back about the whole thing, then I had Five Nations last year and Worlds next year, practice was intense and um, I was losing time with my friendsâŚI guess. Theyâre likely moving out of state for college, and weâll probably never see each other after high school.â
He wasnât lying but what he really wanted to say refused to leave his throat, like the words were stuck in his chest.
She nodded, it was a valid answer, it made sense, she knew how his life revolved around hockey, when had it not? It just didnât feel like heâd said everything he wanted to say, but he didnât continue. He watched her purse her lips, the pinks from the sky fading into dark and the moon reflected over the lake, little lamps on the dock glowing yellow around them. If there were any moment he could kiss her, it would have been then. It had to be that moment when he felt his younger self spring to life within, entranced with her existence alone and the memory of the day they met, her hand reaching out to him specifically and never letting it go. Not Jackâs, not Quinnâs, always his.
âThatâs fair enough,â she gave a gentle chuckle, âmaybe a little warning next time, I thought I pissed you off.â
âNever, Iâm sorry about that, I shouldâve said,â he laughed with her until they settled, âwell, I should get going before I ruin game night for the family, it was nice to chat again.â
âYeah, it was. Thanks for tying the boat, see you âround.â With little nods and longing smiles, they both turned, heading in opposite directions towards the paths up their yards until the sudden burst of adrenaline rose in her chest. There wasnât a lot to lose anymore, they were on good terms, he wasnât pissed off with her and what better way to give him a fat hint, âLu!â
He stopped in his tracks and turned towards her yelling, he hadnât made it too far down the dock, her voice was crystal clear and his nickname in her voice just made his chest swell.Â
âYouâre looking good these days!âÂ
That uncontrollable urge to grin took over his muscles like he was a puppet, sheâd finally noticed. His hair kept long the snug swim shorts, t-shirts and polos in styles sheâd once said suited him. How could he not feel a buzz run through him, almost dizzying. As if on autopilot, fuelled by this sudden nostalgic rapture, he called back,
âAnd youâre still pretty!âÂ
No, she was beautiful, but heâd rather not yell when he knew his brothers were chewing table legs waiting for him. If he admitted it now, heâd never go back, heâd fold all over again and although she thought he looked good, spent their conversation glancing at his arms and lips, showing sprinkles of indications that perhaps he was still in the running after all, making his move after heâd sat in the backseat for so long pretending like he wasnât interested just felt wrong. He had so much to explain before he even tried.
*
Another year, another carnival and y/n thought sheâd be enjoying the games and food stalls with her best friend, Kim. She thought theyâd be in photobooths, laughing over the stupid games that the odd person won and trying out the new churros stall but instead, the moment Cole offered to accompany her on a few rides, y/n knew sheâd be on her own until the fireworks. She had no idea where Luke was, so tagging along with him was off the list as well and she was not going to hang around the parents and her brother and his friends, gross.
The woman behind the counter smiled, handing the cone of churros to y/n before turning to the family next to her. Kim may have been missing out, but she sure was not going to pass up the opportunity for fresh and warm sweet treats that only cost her a couple dollars. She stepped to the side, away from the counter, the aroma of sugary delights filling her senses as she took her first bite. She hadnât tasted something so incredible since she discovered what pancakes were.Â
A firm hand on her lower back wiped all sense of a blissful retreat from her body, her grip on the churros tightening and she froze, a cold presence looming over her with his hot breath plaguing her neck. Why? Why in all places where there are families with children? She wanted to run but her legs locked into place, that horrific fear chilling her spine and the default thought that it was over echoing in her mind.Â
âYou look a little lonely, I can keep you company.â The guy breathed deeply in her ear, with a suggestive tinge in the way he spoke. She didnât dare look him in the eye, just peered through her peripheral vision enough to know he was at least in his twenties.Â
âIâm not, Iâm with my boyfriend, actually.â She replied, as confidently as she could possibly bear without bursting into tears. His thumb rubbed against the fabric of her jeans, her appetite sinking into nausea.
âItâs okay, sweetheart. I donât bite.â He pinched a churro from her cone and now theyâd been infected, now she didnât want them anymore. The closer he stood to her, the filthier she felt like it was all her fault for not moving away. Y/nâs eyes remained fixed to the grass below, tears welling and her throat closing as she choked back a sob. She squeezed her eyes shut, helplessness overruling every ounce of strength she had the closer the guy pressed himself into her back.
âYeah, but I do so fuck off.â Lukeâs voice clipped, his hand sliding over her shoulders gently. Y/nâs eyes snapped open, immediately recognising the white Air Forces and the voice in her ears, legs finally gaining the ability to move again, and she let Lukeâs hand guide her into him instead, dropping the churros into the bin nearby. She wrapped her arms around his middle, ear pressed to his chest and the tears ran hot, yet the way his arms secured around her shoulders brought a warm sense of belonging somewhere.Â
âWoah, easy tiger. Was just making sure the little lady was safe in a place like this-â the guy raised his hands in front of his chest as if to surrender, an amused smirk smeared across his face as Lukeâs stare darkened. His guilt taunted him, he shouldâve been there and then she wouldnât be shaking in his arms. Kim shouldnât have ditched her, and he should have been a friend and stuck by her side. The minute he saw the guy approach her, his vision burned red and he was shoving his way through the crowds, whatever people were shouting at him couldnât have mattered less.Â
â-Iâm calling security.â Luke exasperated, and he wouldâve called security if the woman with her child at the stall nearby hadnât already done so, the creep swearing and making a break for it. Y/n pulled her face away from his chest with red eyes, arms loosely wound around his waist still as she peered up at him. Lukeâs eyes softened and on instinct his palms cupped her cheeks, wiping the remaining tears away with his thumbs. âI got you, sâjust you and me.â
Her eyes sparkled under the fairy lights, stared at him like he was an angel sent from the skies to watch over her and he knew it. He saw it just as she saw his ears tint pink again. They hadnât done that in months. He hadnât felt that hot in months and the outside temperature was breezy.Â
Y/n hoped he kiss her. Right there, where they were alone. Their eyes never leaving each otherâs and his hands jolting electrifying sparks over her skin. Sheâd forgotten what it felt like to be touched my him, how light she felt. The less and less theyâd touched, spoken, been in each otherâs proximity the more intense the memory and feeling crashed over her in waves of yearning. The voice in her head begging him, Luke! Please stop running! I love you! Love me like you once did!Â
His hands dropped and slipped into his shortâs pockets, his gaze eventually leaving hers and jumping to the flashing lights of the stalls surrounding them, âYou all right?âÂ
âI am now, thanks.âÂ
âIâm sorry,â he watched her open her mouth to speak, but he couldnât keep it in his chest, she was there, and his emotions were running too fast to think about what he was doing. The words spilled out, âIâm sorry for not being there. Now and over the past year. Y/n, Iâm so fucking sorry. I wanted to tell you at the docks but, I dunno, I fucked it and then it was too late and-â
Her hands balled around his t-shirt, pulling him closer, âLu, itâs okay. I forgive you.â
âNo, no you might not,â he ran his hands through his hair harshly, âit wasnât just because of hockey and my friends. I was jealous and insecure and that feels so good to finally admit. You went on a date with whatâs-his-face, and I donât know, I guess I thought I was being replaced and I was stupid about it, then it got too deep and fuck!â And I was so in love with you and then I lost my chance.
Y/n didnât let go of him. His hands slipped back into his pockets, and he waited, eyes searching hers with sympathy written in them, the guilt on his face with shaky breaths. That was it? He was just insecure and was unable to process it? She heard him out, she would have probably thought the same and at that age, it wasnât easy to just speak up about it, especially when you think you have no chance at all. She wasnât mad, disappointed slightly, angrier at herself that he felt like he couldnât tell her.Â
âI forgive you. I probably would have done the same thing, honestly. Yeah, you were stupid, that was really stupid, and it really hurt. Iâm also sorry for making you feel like you were being replaced. But if it brings any reassurance, no one would ever be able to replace you.â She pulled him into a hug, arms wrapping around his middle again and his around her shoulders, their height difference making them fit perfectly.
They pulled away after a few seconds, Luke clearing his throat as they stepped back awkwardly, âWe should, um, probably head to the spot now.âÂ
âOh, yeah! Yeah, totally. Um, thanks for stepping in againâŚI really appreciate it.â She blinked twice and fixed her hair, snapping out of her daze, the corners of her lips quirking upwards. Luke nodded before they re-entered the crowds, her arm looping around his as he led them through, glancing at her every now and then until theyâd slipped out the other side, catching sight of Jack and his friends heading in the same direction as them.
Their families chose the specific spot when they were kids, it was out the way of the popular viewing places and to reach it required tackling a tedious staircase to the top of the hill, but it was the best spot that looked over the carnival below. Like most years, the two families were divided into their own little huddles, but Luke and y/n stood together like they were eleven again. Her grip around his arm tightened a little, head leaning against his arm and unleashing a giddy tingle into Lukeâs chest. Y/nâs heart raced like sheâd never been alone with him before, like it was the first time sheâd been alone with him and God, just thinking about how Luke had kissed her for the first time in that exact spot just made her stomach warm.Â
He slipped his hand out of his pocket slowly, keeping his eyes on the sky as the firework displayâs music faded in. Like feathers, her fingers ran down his forearm, tracing over his skin and veins that ran hot with a resurfacing captivation like a drug he just couldnât quit. Without saying a word or giving each other any kind of endearing look, her palm met his and fingers interlaced, rebuilding the bridge between the two lost souls as the pinks and reds of whirlwinds and willows reflected over gleaming eyes.
*
The Hughes family threw parties all the time, had been since they moved in next to the L/nâs all those years ago. Jim and Ellen always had some sort of party for the boys and as they grew older, Jack more or less became the main host, especially with the arrival of Trevor and Cole. That night it was the two families along with the Tkachuks, who moved to the lake a few years prior, who held some sort of belated celebration for Lukeâs drafting success. According to Ellen, they would have done it nearer the time, but Quinn insisted the Tkachuks should join since they had played such a big role in the Hughesâ lives.Â
Afternoon barbeques drifted into evening drinks and sâmores around the bonfire, Jack and Cole tossing marshmallows into each otherâs mouths, Matthew telling Trevor (who spilled molten marshmallow on his knee and was trying to wipe it off with great struggle) a detailed story from one of his NHL games, Brady and Quinn debating something, it wasnât entirely clear anymore what the topic was but they seemed to be in disagreement either way and Lukeâs eyes flickered around the fire, in search of his person. Her brother was still there, kicking a ball around on the grass with a couple of his friends heâd been allowed to invite. Her parents were inside talking to the other parents.Â
He stood up, unnoticed by the others, and wandered to the side gate, taking a quick look back before slipping out quietly and ambling next door to the l/nâs side gate, silently turning the hatch and letting himself into their garden. As he suspected, a faint, amber glowed from the window of the treehouse and those fairy lights didnât turn on by themselves. With a sigh of relief, Luke carefully made his way across the garden, his footsteps heavy on the wooden stairs up to the platform and he opened the door a crack before letting himself into the structure.
The treehouse felt tiny compared to when they were kids. He was too tall for it now, having to duck under the door and crane his neck slightly, shutting it behind him. Y/n sat against the wall, staring out the window with her legs stretched out in front of her. Sheâd watched him come up the stairs, and it brought the slightest bit of relief that someone had noticed her absence. Luke sat next to her, shoulder to shoulder with his back against the wall like hers, the little lights that hung around the top of the walls giving their skin a dim glow.Â
âWhatâcha doinâ up here, pretty?â he asked softly.
 She turned her head to face the wall opposite, head bumping the wood, âGot cold and needed to think. What about you? Donât you wanna be down there, gettinâ advice from the big dogs?âÂ
âWould rather be here with you.â He chuckled lightly, Deja vu of the conversation. The last time they sat in the treehouse together, before things spiralled. She shivered, running her hands over her arms to rid the goosebumps. Luke shimmied his sweatshirt over his head, the navy blue âUSA Hockeyâ one he always thought would look better on her, âHere, put this on.âÂ
âYou sure?â he nodded, and she pulled the sweatshirt over her head, the size engulfing her but she was too warm to care, âThanks, but really, how did you know I was here?â
âHad a feeling. Do you wanna talk about it?âÂ
She stayed quiet for a little moment before speaking, âMâjust a little worried about college. My friends applied so far out of state with all these cool stories from relationships and drama and shit and I feel a littleâŚboring. What if people at UMich think Iâm boring? What if Iâm gonna be alone? Iâm not boring, am I?âÂ
âIf it brings you any comfort, Iâm worried too. You know my friends are leaving the state too, and I also havenât exactly been the most exciting socially either, just those odd parties, you remember those surely,â he muttered, his voice raspy as she nodded, âyouâre not boring, by the way, never losing a game of beer pong is a talent people will kill for in college, and you wonât be alone. Youâre the most likeable person Iâve ever met, and I admire how you find talking to people so easy. Remember when we started high school? You jumped straight into the jungle and made friends within the first day, took me a week to properly make mine, I was terrified. Besides, Iâll be there so you can always come find me.â
 Y/n didnât reply, but she soaked in his voice and how easy the words left his mouth. He always knew just what to say, and that was yet another reason why she loved him. She sighed, leaning her head against his bicep, gently nuzzling her cheek into him as if to comfort herself. If only heâd wrapped her arm around her, but resting his head against hers was enough, just like they had when they were kids watching Harry Potter. Back when Luke pined over her and she didnât think too much of it, not knowing what it was, what it meant. He may have been the only guy that ever loved her like that. Roller Rink was far more interested in the idea of having a girlfriend and CameronâŚCameron couldnât have cared less about who she was as long as she had female anatomy.Â
âDo you think Iâm lovable? Like, not because of the way I look.â She babbled out of the blue, Lukeâs eyebrows knitting with confusion at her sudden question, but he had asked what was on her mind.
âI think youâre the most lovable person there is. Youâre funny, youâre witty, you have this admirable determination and ability to socially chameleon. Oh God, and youâre so sweet, always know how to make someone feel at peace. Whatâs-his-face and fucking Cameron have no idea what theyâre missing.â He rambled, a smile spreading across his face as the lights in the room sparkled in his eyes. She looked at him with awe, his voice like a song that would now become her favourite as he talked with adoration, valuing her as a human being with her flaws and perfections that crumbled the walls heâd spent so long building.
âLuâŚâ She wanted to say something back, kiss his face all over, take him by the cheeks and kiss his lips so hard they wouldnât be able to breathe. That comfortable silence between them where eyes met and debated leaning in, submitting to his childhood crush and her adolescent realisation.
Her phone buzzed, she hesitantly pulled her eyes from his and after reading the notification she slammed the device back onto the floor, groaning and rolling her eyes. She grabbed her phone back, swiping and blocking Cameronâs Instagram. Blocking was crazy, but it was the only way heâd stop begging her for âanother chanceâ.Â
âGoing by that reaction, Iâm taking that was Cameron?â Luke raised his eyebrow, watching her place her phone to the side and lean back into the wall.Â
âCan I tell you something, but you canât tell anyone, not even your brothersâŚokay?â She breathed out, staring at both their feet.Â
Luke hesitated, shivers running up his spine, âYeah, I didnât tell anyone about the twenty-fifteen fireworks, did I?â
âUgh, he was awful, Iâm actually glad it didnât last long. Such an asshole, I just couldnât do anything right for him. Bad girlfriend, bad person, bad kisser, prude. And talk about peer pressure, I didnât wanna have sex with him, right? Because if Iâm gonna lose my virginity itâs definitely not gonna be with him, and then he got all pissy and said that if I didnât, heâd tell people I was a bad fuck, couldnât make him cum or whatever. Anyway, you probably heard the rumours.â Y/n took a deep breath, she wasnât sure why she was telling Luke that, but why would he tell anyone? It wasnât like he had any more experience than her.
âWhat happened next?â he asked, deep down his blood boiled, the nonchalant facade heâd been building up began to crumble the more they found themselves alone, the more childhood memories that flooded back to him and reminded him of how much of a coward he was, that he shouldâve just shoot his shot instead of running away.
âThen I caught him cheating, broke up with him and he threw a tantrum about it, started talking shit about you, saying how I was probably cheating on him first anyway, so it all cancels out. Told his friends that he caught me sucking your dick and how distraught he was over it. Next day he happily made out with his new girl in the hall, so I obviously did not matter at all and was just a plaything.â She chuckled sadly, leaning her head onto Lukeâs bicep. He wanted to scream, hold her tight and tell her how wrong she was about herself, that she wasnât a plaything, that he was a prick. But he couldnât, instead his mind travelled to the worst parts of him, he wouldâve beaten the hell out of Cameron given the chance. His deepest fantasies crept back to him like a virus all over again.Â
âYou donât deserve to be treated like that,â his voice lowered, gaze peering down to her with a fiery glaze in his eyes and she looked back at him, curious. âIâd never treat you like that, youâd mean everything to me. Every word, every kiss, everything.â
She released a shaky breath, adrenaline sparking in her chest, âI canât stop thinking about how easy it was to move on for him, I just want to forget the humiliation, but I donât know how to do that.âÂ
His gaze burned through her, a rush of desire surging, and sheâd never seen his face soften like that before, like he was thinking carefully. Lukeâs hand reached for hers, sliding over her thigh and lacing their fingers together, like they always seem to do. From the pits of his brain, eleven-year-old Luke squeaked out to him and his heart screamed to grasp the opportunity: stop being stubborn, you like her, you like her, you like her, you still like her.
âWe could make out, weâve already kissed here, and if he can do it, why canât you? Think of it as liberation.â She would have thought he was joking if it werenât for the way his voice dropped and calm tone. He was dead serious, not a drop of amusement in his voice but he was right, they had already kissed once so what was the harm in doing it again? She peered up at him, eyes scanning his features, flickering between his lips and waiting gaze.
Sheâd be a fool to pass up Luke Hughesâ attention after growing apart from him. When he suggested making out, why would she pass it up, the guy still gave her butterflies even if she was just holding onto a painful delusion written by the past. It wouldnât do any harm, it would take her mind off her turmoil, the haunting thoughts that a boy used her, and humiliated her. It wouldnât do any harm; it was just a kiss. Only a kiss that would stick with her, their mutual magnetic pull over the summer striking up the same thought between them. Maybe they did like each other the same.Â
Letting go of his hand, she hoisted her leg over his and straddled his lap, hand settling on his chest. A newfound adrenaline lit up inside her like wildfire, his large hands cupping her jaw with nerves wrecking his body, thumb rubbing her cheek. He wet his lips, his one hand sliding to her nape, and he pulled her in slowly.
âYeah, liberation.â She whispered, closing the gap between them, lips meeting timidly before she melted into his body, Lukeâs tongue ran across her bottom lip, a moan drawing from the back of her throat as she let him in, licking into his mouth with a sweet desire.Â
Neither had an expert understanding of how to make out, but the more they fell into a rhythm of disconnecting for a breath, just to connect again for another taste, the more electric the tension between them became. She slid her hand from his chest to his curls, fingers tangling in the loose ringlets and tugging tenderly, too caught up in the pleasure to think coherently. Luke moaned hungrily, his hand gliding from her nape down the curve of her spine and his hand settling on her hip, fingers gripping her hipbone the moment she rolled into his crotch. The buzz from the gathering next door was silenced in their ears, the only noises in their proximity being the sound of their lips eating each other and tongues lapping in a hot and heavy haze, whines slipping in as a warm temptation flushed through them. He bucked his hips up, as if on an instinct, following his heart rather than his head for once.Â
Even if they couldnât keep their hands off each other, they pulled back panting, eyes locked in a risky delirium. He ran his thumb over her swollen bottom lip, gulping when she wrapped her lips around the fingertip, sucking softly and swirling her tongue while refusing to drop the intense eye contact. Lukeâs heart thundered, hard. So strongly he could feel it in his ears and undoubtedly his cheeks were pink. They were in each otherâs grasps, overridden with a lewd rhapsody that had the bottom of their stomachs twisting and eyes half-lidded with lust. If Luke could feel how her underwear stuck to her in that moment, she would have never been able to recover from it. Kissing him so deeply with every ounce of desire that riddled her bones sent her into a dizzy haze, pussy throbbing for more every time he adjusted his hips up to meet hers.Â
âWhat else can that mouth do?â he muttered, watching a new side of the girl he grew up with. His head was in a whole new place, a foggy mess all because she squirmed on his lap, felt euphoric on his tongue and kissed him like she meant it, like his hands over her body was all it took to light the spark that burned between them.
She released his thumb with a coy smile, a string of saliva between her bottom lip and his thumb. She could feel how tight his shorts had become and gave her hips another roll over his crotch, thriving in how his breath hitched, âWanna find out?â
âPlease.â He said with a shaky breath, hands finding their way to her thighs, running his palms along the flesh.Â
Y/n bit her bottom lip, readjusting her seating by spreading his legs and setting herself on her knees between them. Although not comfortable, that was the least of her concerns. She flipped the hem of his t-shirt up and unbuckled his belt, fumbling with the button of his shorts and tucking her fingers into his boxerâs waistband. He lifted his hips, allowing her to shimmy his bottoms down just enough for his cock to spring free. He leant his head against the wall, hands covering his face when she rubbed languid strokes over his cock, thriving in his muffled whines when her thumb circled the pre-cum around his tip.Â
âMm, so big, Lu.â She hummed, spitting into her palm and giving him hard strokes from the base, smiling at how his Adamâs Apple bobbed. God, he wished he hated it, wished he didnât feel ecstatic when she called him his nickname, the name only she called him. He wished he hated how her hand looked tiny against his cock, how good he felt.
âShit,â he whined, âneed your mouth already, please, y/n, please.â
âOnly if you stop hiding, I wanna see your face.â She gave his tip relentless kitten licks, a vicious thrill shuddering down her limbs to her core. He did as he was told, hands trying to grip the wood beneath them and she grinned, taking him into her mouth and just to drive him insane, moaning and his taste blessing her taste buds.Â
âOh God,â he breathed raggedly, a twinge of a groan mixed in as her tongue lay flat on the underside of his cock, swallowing him as if sheâd done it hundreds of times before like sheâd thought about it intensely. Her name left his mouth in a mantra, followed by swearing and whimpers he never imagined himself making.Â
She peered up through her lashes, the moan she let out reverberating around his cock with such a tainted pleasure that he gasped, his eyes fluttering open to the sight of her bobbing her head over him, watching him lose himself with a burning face and submissive mewls emitting from his lips. Writhing under his childhood best friendâs mouth, in her treehouse of all places while she sucked him off with shameless lust wasnât something he expected. She had him a moaning mess and for a moment he thought that only she could be capable of doing so. There wasnât a chance any other girl could make him feel that much emotion during such a filthy act, his childhood crush flooding back to him all over again, all that excitement, nerves, butterflies in his stomach and now the adolescent storm of love, lust, desire, dedication and everything that got mixed up in between.
He tensed, y/nâs free hand skirting up his shirt and splaying over his abs, feeling all the dips in muscles as his core tightened the deeper she took him, hissing when his cock hit the back of her throat. How on Earth she managed it, he wouldnât know, and he didnât care because it felt exhilarating, sweat forming on his forehead. He bucked his hips up, an erotic, deep moan drawing out from her.Â
âFuck, so close, mâgonna cum,â he breathed, âgonna cum, y/n, please.âÂ
His thighs shuddered, her hands lying flat on them as Luke exhaled deeply, the knot in his core unravelling as he thrust into her mouth, his hot cum coating her tongue and throat and his jaw slacked, panting when she swallowed every drop of him, as much as she could before pulling her lips off him. His eyes pricked tears from overstimulation, fluttering shut as his chest rose and fell.
âWhere-whereâd you learn that?â he whispered, tucking himself back into his underwear and re-dressing himself. It was as if his high wore off, the world tuned back in, and he could hear the buzz of his familyâs gathering next door again.Â
She wiped the dribble of cum from her lip with her finger, taking it into her mouth and licking it clean, âI read a lot, followed my instincts.âÂ
âFuck, that felt incredible. Youâre incredible, never gonna forget that. Fuck, youâre still an amazing kisser, oh my fucking God.â He couldnât help but smile, it felt like old times. The easy air where no judgement lurked, secrets could be spilt and theyâd stay between the two of them, heâd sit there, admiring and folding over how pretty she was while sheâd treat him like a prince. Perhaps theyâd just made another bad choice, how could he not ignore his feelings now, it was so hard to resist temptation and push back the butterflies. After all those months running away from himself, from her and all that achieved was him running back around straight into her grip again. He was done with running; he was going to give himself one last chance.
With a giggle, she crawled out from between his legs and re-took her seat next to him, âNow that was memorable. Remind me to kiss you more. Do you make noises like that for every girl? They were so fucking hot.âÂ
âNah, only you. Been only you. Kissed only you.â Luke let a chuckle pass his lips, closing his eyes and grinning to himself. She exhaled, peeking up at him in his peaceful state. Only her, only her. Even after all that time, heâd never looked at another girl. She was the only girl heâd ever kissed, only ever done anything with and even after heâd kept her far from his reach, it was because he only ever wanted her. Now they had each other, side-by-side, in her treehouse where sheâd given her first ever blowjob and she didnât regret one second of it, and never would despite however life turned out.Â
âYou wonât tell anyone about thisâŚwill you?â her voice was quiet, and she pulled her knees to her chest. âNot because Iâm ashamed but like, well, you know, kinda embarrassing people knowing our businessâŚâ
Luke copied her, resting his arms over his knees, âIâm not gonna say anything if you donât want me to, y/n. You know I wouldnât do that, but I get what you mean. I really donât want my brothers talking about it, and you know Jack canât even keep his own secrets.â
âAre we cool now? No more of- whatever weâve been doing?â she held out her fist.
âWeâre cool. Just you ân me again.â He bumped her fist with his, âWeâre thinking of taking the boat out again tomorrow, you should come.â
She nudged his shoulder with hers, âMaybe I will, maybe Iâll wear my best bikini.âÂ
âMaybe you should, maybe Iâll wear the blue shorts.â He nudged back, both knowing exactly which items of swimwear they were referencing. The hibiscus pattern bikini that couldnât have suited her any more perfectly and the swim shorts that hugged his thighs too nicely, that he only wore after heâd caught her staring.
They smiled brightly, lights reflecting in their eyes as they leaned into each otherâs sides. The sweet sensation of closure, burying a hatchet in the place it all started. It wasnât a conventional way to make up, but feelings resolved that night, messages conveyed and for those few hours they spent up there, they were finally on the same page.
*
Reconnecting with someone who was once your entire world changes your perception of life itself. The sun shone brighter, the air warmer and serotonin at an all-time high. What they hadnât realised was that reconnecting after straying away came with a thick tension between them, not like a negative, doom and gloom but something else. Something exciting.
On boat days, every time their eyes would meet, stomachs would twist and feel a heat pool in their cores. Every little move felt suggestive, every time he adjusted the way he sat so his shorts would rise up his thighs slightly, every time she adjusted her bikini, when heâd place his hand on her hips as heâd walk past, sitting on his lap and playing with his curls to make more space for the others on the seats.
At the golf course, with his lean arms wrapped around her, hands on top of hers and guiding her positioning and swing of the club, his breathing on her neck making her body melt into his and Luke fighting off the urge to drop the club entirely and pull her into his embrace, to pepper her neck with butterfly kisses until he found her sweet spot.
Nights around the firepit, cuddled on his lap in the lawn chair wearing his hoodie, his hand stroking her thigh and mumbling conversations between each other, lips dangerously close with hot breaths on each other's necks.
Naps where they lay on each other's chests, arms wound around bodies and legs tangled under sheets and blankets.
The difference between their reconnecting and the average personâs reconnecting was that actions spoke louder than words, but neither were speaking up. Luke had done his best, been explicit in the treehouse, held her close whenever they were together. Y/n was in a bumbling state, accepting every one of Lukeâs attempts, relishing in the feeling of being loved and appreciated, hoping her time and attention would be enough for him.
The difference between Luke and y/n couldnât have been more obvious to a bystander. Luke, a shameless loverboy enduring the relentless teasing from his brothers about how down bad he was and y/n, endeared but tortured Luke with her inability to verbalise her feelings, an overthinker. Luke spent so many years being direct about himself and y/n spent so many years stuck in her head and generating the worst possible situations. All he wanted was confirmation, something that said âYouâre my only too, my everything. Only youâ, something from her vocal cords.
Y/n wiped the sweat from her forehead with her arm, knees sore from kneeling on the grass for so long and hands soaking from the gardening gloves. Her mum had gone crazy with her flowers again, and insisted she needed the family to help her plant the new bulbs much to her father and brotherâs dismay. The worst part was the chatter from the Hughesâ, taunting her with how much fun they were having and how she was doing manual labour in the heat. A whole morning of listening to laughter, Jack and Trevorâs voices above anyone else's but all she thought about was Luke and his smile, his real laugh that came from his chest, the way he laughed with his body. All while she dug holes just to refill them again.
Somewhere around noon, she had thrown the gloves off and stood up, exhaling deeply and next door still had fun without her. God, if her fear of missing out was that bad then college would be excruciating. Having enough and falling submissive to her FOMO, she climbed her treehouse stairs, settling on the step that was high enough to see over the garden fence.Â
You donât deserve to be treated like that, Iâd never treat you like that, youâd mean everything to me. Every word, every kiss, everything.
For a guy whoâd been all over her, confessed that he felt something for her and told her that everything between them meant something to him, she sure became suspicious of it. Her stomach sank, tongue poking the inside of her cheek at him looking perfectly entertained pressed between two girls on the outdoor sofa, one of them suspiciously close to his face. She could only see him from behind, but she knew any girl who entered the Hughes residence was drop-dead gorgeous and if there was one thing she had learnt was that boys suck. He didnât flinch out the way, didnât move seats, didnât push them off, he just let them. Jumping to conclusions wasnât the person she wanted to be, but the festering irritation in her stomach wasnât ignorable. Yet she trusted him, and before she would deep it, she wanted to think first, at least ask him about it before her jealousy got the best of her. She turned on her heel, thumped down the stairs and continued her gardening, which was now a lot more fun than next door.
Lukeâs face burned red, only Jack would do him dirty in front of his cousins like that. His business was apparently the familyâs business. The whole morning heâd been interrogated by his cousins about y/n, how she was, what she was up to, was she cute, did she make him happy, what she looked like. He pulled his phone out, opening his camera roll and pulling up a photo of her, his cousins leaning into him for a better look of the screen in the sun.Â
âOh my god, sheâs so pretty, Luke!â Beth mused.
âHow have you not asked her out?â Stephanie asked in a hushed voice, earning giggles from Jack and Quinn.
âI have been trying since I was eleven, okay? Sheâs justâŚnot easy to read sometimes. I mean, I think weâre on the same page now, so I was gonna ask her next time I see her, ask her on a date to our favourite arcade.â He grinned at the thought, heâd planned it when he was fifteen and had been counting down the days to finally ask her himself.
He lay in bed that same night, seconds away from rolling over and turning his lamp off until his phone flashed, an influx of y/nâs texts coming through like wildfire. Running his hand over his dreary face, he picked his phone back up, reading each message one by one with unease. He squinted his eyes as if it would clear his confusion, her sudden outburst of accusations making him replay the events of the day.
Y/n/nÂ
Who were those girls???
Why were they literally on you
Luluuuu how many girls are you gettiiinnng
LuluÂ
Huh? What are you talking about
Oh they were my cousins. You met them years ago. I was showing them pics of you
They were not on me thats gross they were looking at my phone so untwist your panties
Y/nâs heart skipped a beat, or it felt like it. He was showing pictures of her? To his family?
Y/n/nÂ
??
Beth and Steph??
That was NOT them they were blonde as fuck
My panties are fine thank you
LuluÂ
LMAO yeah it was
Didnât know you were spying on me you lil peepin tom
Yeah sure sounds like it. Itâs okay to be â¨jealous⨠but youâre still no.1Â
Y/n/nÂ
Ok I believe you
WAS NOT SPYING WAS STUCK DOING GARDENING AND WAS CURIOUS
Not jealous loser
Luke blew a puff of air through his nose, liking the message and placing the phone on his nightstand before rolling over. Usually, he was the one biting back his tongue, but seeing her jealous for once just made his heart swell a little more, it was cute, she cared.Â
Y/n lay face down in her bed, face stuffed into her pillow and arms by her side. At least the irritation left but now she just felt like an idiot. But not a big idiot since she at least asked Luke what was going on, but still an idiot for even assuming heâd go and do something like that to her. She just hoped Luke didnât think she was stupid.
*
Y/n hung her head in defeat, she tied the knot exactly how Luke had and yet she still couldnât win. Another evening out on the lake with Kim, another evening where she wished she didnât have to tie the boat to the dock.Â
Hands nudged hers out the way and once again Luke had come to her rescue, crouched next to her and tying the rope to the cleat, like he had at the beginning of summer. They stood up straight, smiley, waiting for someone to say something with the crickets chirping and Lukeâs brothersâ voices in the background.
âThanksâŚagain. I should get it someday.â She scratched her neck.
His mouth faltered, opening and closing to speak but he couldnât choke the words out. He wanted to ask her, scream from the rooftops but something in his mind stopped him. What if she said no? How awkward that would be, theyâd have to spend the last weeks of summer pretending as if nothing was going on, even if it was more than obvious that feelings were mutual. But what if she rejected him again? His hands slipped into his pockets, and he rocked on his heels.
âSo, uh, since we're cool, um, was wondering for a while now if, um, and you don't have to but, uh, if you wanted to,â he started, sweat forming on his temple as his body ran hot. Heâd watched Jack ask girls out, he made it look way too easy than it was, why couldnât he just spit it out, he wanted it, that moment was what heâd been waiting for his whole life, she was right there. Chest tight, stomach doing flips, the adrenaline surging through him making his cheeks flush pink.
Her heart throbbed, cheeks ached but in a nice way, in a joyful way. This time, she would not miss her chance, it would be her and him until the end and she hoped, she begged the stars that he was going to ask her on a date. The whole summer with him, kindling spirits and rebuilding what had crumbled, two flames burning together and feeling as if she were the only girl in the world to him.
What was the worst that could happen? Rejection. Fear. Lukeâs knees felt like jelly, his hands trembling and his mind coming to a blank. He couldnât breathe, his heart wouldnât pace itself and the words tumbled from his mouth in a panic, âum, well, Jack, Quinn and I were gonna check out this beach tomorrow and I was wondering if you wanted to come?â
He wasnât lying, they were, but it wasnât what he wanted to say. Y/n kept her smile even though it felt as if all her organs had been sucked from inside her to leave her a void. All that hope just for it to dissipate into thin air. All the little moments they shared, holding hands, exchanging secrets and forgiving, forgetting and going nowhere. It wasnât until then it occurred to her that some people just werenât meant to be more than friends. Just werenât meant to take that leap into romance. Some people just were not ready.Â
âYeah, sure. Text me the details.âÂ
The closer they were just felt like theyâd drifted further apart. Theyâd come so close until one of them just couldnât do it, pushed the other away and not out of dislike either, because it was hard to not love each other but when youâd been friends for so long, everything - friends, family - felt at jeopardy. Right person, wrong time? It didnât matter. Y/n and Luke would spend the rest of their summer as close friends. Nobody could hate Luke more than he hated himself, that bubbling in his stomach, boiling blood at only the boy who would stare back at him in the mirror. Nobody cried more than y/n, that pang in her heart every time theyâd hang out, bottomless hollowness in her stomach when she soaked her pillows in the comfort of her bedroom. So close yet so far, like the stars that sparkled in their eyes when they looked at each other like theyâd hung them out for each other. Once again, theyâd signed that contract to be friends and if they were just that little bit braver, then maybe theyâd stop letting the flowers of a bittersweet tragedy grow in their lungs, choke and suffocate them until one couldnât do it anymore and concluded their decision. It was time to move on, stop waiting and set themselves free from the one who couldnât decide.
Starting at the University of Michigan was like a breath of fresh air. New people, new environment, new life. Although she missed waking up on a lake, she and her roommate, beautiful and blonde, Bella (if she was going to make friends she may as well start with her roommate, right?), clicked well and decorated their dorm cosy with little lights hanging along the walls and bed frames, a rug to give the place personality and photos on the walls of family, friends and interests. Gave the cold place a bit of warm character. They giggled as they listened to the room across the hall already break out into an argument who-slept-where, they sympathised for the girl who struggled to say goodbye to her family and watched the two boys move in down the hall, y/nâs jaw dropping upon recognising the familiar head of curls.Â
Luke and Dylan were long-time friends, theyâd met back in the USA Hockey Development Camp when they were around fifteen and felt the pressure of new beginnings lift off their shoulders when theyâd found out they were roommates. It was the best thing ever for them, setting up their room as their den, a blue rug, two plush folding chairs with the essentials: speaker, mini fridge, fan and a TV perched on top of one of the deskâs shelves. Theyâd spent most of their time rearranging their room to create maximum space, bickering like a married couple about the little details like no shoes on the rug and which way the desks should face. He and y/n hadnât texted until later that night, Luke thrilled over her being just down the hall but y/n indifferent to it. Once upon a time, she would have been bouncing off the walls but now, it didnât matter that much at all.Â
In the first few weeks of university, you start making friends, join clubs and attend everything you can and go out when you want to with no one telling you when to be home. Y/n met a group of girls when she and Bella attended a social, Luke made friends through hockey. Both ended up back together when the two groups mixed by coincidence one night at some party theyâd found and it was Dylan who brought it up.Â
Y/n and her friends had been standing to the side in the living room of the dimly lit house, red solo cups held to chests and shuffling further away from the speaker at the other end of the room. Dylan weaved through the crowd, Luke, the three other guys, Mark, Ethan and Mackie not far behind him. She had been tipsy and grabbed Lukeâs arm, Dylan immediately stopping to group with the girls.Â
âHey, Lu! Havenât seen you in a while.â She yelled over the music, Luke standing close to her while Ethan, Mackie and Mark joined the little bundle.Â
âHey, y/n/n! Good to see you here.â He replied, dipping down closer to her ear.
Dylanâs eyes widened with his grin, pointing his drink between the two, âOh shit! You know each other?â
âYeah, we grew up together.â She smiled. Something inside Luke almost died that night. Something inside Luke also lit ablaze.Â
âYouâre y/n?! Hughesy talks about you all the time!â Dylan nudged Luke and Luke rolled his eyes, he would always have someone in his life whoâd share his secrets, obviously.Â
Y/n hadnât added to the conversation after that and the group fell into a casual chatter, getting to know each other, that sort of thing. Luke felt the world bite him in the ass, that wedge heâd shoved between them now forced back and he felt like he was at square one all over again.Â
That same night, on their way back to the dorms, Luke had made the clearest statement yet without opening his mouth. Ethan had been talking with her most of the party and since Luke knew her best, wanted advice. But when Ethan asked him about her number and favourite flowers, the youngest Hughesâ eyes could not have shot a dirtier look. Of course, the boys laughed, partially due to the alcohol and partially due to how real Luke seemed. Ethan flinched back, half-laughing out of nerves more than anything but that was the moment the boys realised something was going on. And they would not let Luke live it down.
Luke couldnât bear his reflection sometimes. He had to face a coward and under the surgical white light of his and Dylanâs bathroom, where every feature and crevice of everything he hated just stuck out to laugh at him. Not physically, but all the memories of days he'd spent hyping himself up, ready to ask her out flashed in front of his eyes and he couldnât stop the images of seeing his younger self utterly disappointed in him. He gripped the sink tight, knuckles turning white as he hung his head in shame, his eyes burning hot as they glassed over, a knot in his chest between angry and distraught igniting his tear ducts. He and y/n were part of two different groups with two different schedules, hockey was demanding, she would be with her crowd and when he thought he could finally have her without prying eyes, she was slipping further from his reach. But he wouldnât lose her a second time. He wasnât ready to surrender almost eight years of pining, heâd try just one last time.
*
It was exciting, it was new, it was refreshing. Weeks of classes, weeks of making new friends and weeks of finally gaining and learning independence. Things were going well for once and she even had her first date as a college student. Tony was a guy she met at a party, he didnât resemble Luke at all and had approached her with smooth talking but lacked the character Luke held. She wasnât sure about that, a cardboard personality but that was why she had agreed to go on a date with him, to learn.Â
Sheâd knocked on Lukeâs dorm on her way through, pushing him into his room abruptly and fixing her hair, Bella was out, and she was in dire need of a second opinion, and despite how the universe played out, Luke was still her most trusted and oldest friend. His eyes widened slightly, once again sheâd quite literally taken his breath away with how gorgeous she looked all dolled up.Â
âDo I look okay?â she asked, panic in her voice.
âUh, yeah.â He fumbled out, like heâd forgotten how to speak entirely.
âThatâs all? Oh God, I look bad, donât I?âÂ
âWhat? No, you look good, Iâm just confused. You going out?â he felt his cheeks warm at his sudden confession, why was it easier to admit that now and not back then?
âIâm going on a date, Lu. Iâm freaking out, what if he doesnât like me? What if I say the wrong thing or say something unfunny?-âÂ
Luke placed his hands on her shoulders, eyes meeting hers and her voice faded out. For a split second she questioned if going on the date was the right choice, but she caught herself, not letting the comfort of his thumbs rubbing her shoulders distract her. â-There isnât a reason why he wouldnât like you, chill. You will be fine, and you are funny, if he doesnât find you funny then heâs boring as fuck. Who is this guy anyway? Whereâs he taking you?â
âThanks,â she relaxed with a smile, he always could make her feel better. âAnd are we really doing this again? His nameâs Tony and I am meeting him at a bar near campus.âÂ
âOkay, you want me to walk you? Which bar-â but before Luke could get any further, sheâd looked at the time and rushed out. He watched her power-walk down the hall before shutting his door roughly, hissing swears through his teeth. Perfect, just perfect, Lukeâs love life was just going so perfect. Whoever this âTonyâ was, he despised him with every fibre in his being.
Dylan opened the bathroom door a crack, peeping out as if he hadnât been eavesdropping the whole time. He didnât grin like usual, his raised an eyebrow as Luke ran his hands down his face and threw himself onto one of the comfy chairs like a ragdoll.Â
âYou wanna talk about it? Fill me in here?â he asked, stepping into the room.
As Luke opened his mouth, someone knocked three times on the door. Dylan answered, revealing Mark, Mackie and Ethan kitted out for the gym. Ushering them in, they stood in front of Luke, like a council waiting for him.Â
âHughesy's pissed,â Dylan told the guys, âLuke, weâre here dude, let it out, brother. Whatâs the deal with you and y/n. You gave Eddy the evils and now youâre slamming doors and swearing your ass off when she goes on a date.â
Luke paused, thought. It wasnât high school anymore; they were all adults. They werenât going to tell everyone, they werenât going to throw it back at him, tease him. He wasnât sure if he wanted to admit it out loud, he already felt like a loser as it was. They were his friends, his brothers.Â
âI like y/n, and I have since we were kids. And Iâm pissed off because Iâm not the guy sheâs going on a date with. Okay?â Luke groaned, the guys breaking into menacing grins and nudging each otherâs arms.
âDude, you could have just said something. Come on, Hughesy, we got you.â Mark laughed, grabbing Luke by the arm and pulling him from the chair. They say the friends you make in university are some of the best friends youâll ever have, and that was the day Luke realised that. If anyone wanted him to be happy, it was them. He wasnât on his own anymore, he wouldnât be in an empty house all the time, he wouldnât have to arrive home and hear the absence of his family. His family were with him all the time now.
*
Seven oâclock. Seven-thirty. Eight oâclock and Tony wasnât coming. Cars passed, customers entered and exited, the neon lights flickered on and hummed in the dark. The world just passed by. Y/n had never felt more humbled in her life, more embarrassed. To think that he had an interest in her was too ambitious. How could someone do that? Just leave someone outside the bar for an hour with no text or apology. She sat on the curb with her knees to her chest, mascara running down her cheeks waiting for the miracle that he showed his face, and it was an innocent delay. Maybe he got caught up? Maybe he was late from somewhere? Why was she waiting, making excuses for him? But she still waited until the evening faded into the night. She waited on that curb, drained of all feeling, limbs heavy and even her stomach felt void of anything, she didnât feel like walking back to her dorm, it may as well have been a walk of shame while everyone laughed at how hopeful she had been. No matter what she did, who it was, she was always waiting.
The Yost rink took hockey seriously, team rooms for everything. Gym, common, kitchen, locker room, showers, everything for aspiring professional NHL stars. The guys had started their fixed routine advised by the coaches, an intense gym routine, yes, but anything for hockey. Luke had taken a break from weights, wiping his face with his towel and taking a breather when heâd overheard the conversation, stopped dead in his tracks as the words almost echoed around the room. He didnât want to have to look at the guy, but did he really have to play on the same team as him too? The worst part was it wasnât just Luke hearing the conversation, Dylan and Mackie had paused their music to listen in, eyes switching between each other and at Luke, whose jaw clenched tight, and gaze couldnât have been sharper.Â
âArenât you supposed to be on that date?â Tonyâs friend asked, leaning against the treadmill Tony jogged on.
âHuh? With who?âÂ
âYâknow, the chick from the party? The one who wore that USA Hockey sweatshirt on move-in day? Wonder whose dick she sucked for that.â His friend continued, âMan, she was cute.â
Lukeâs blood boiled and his breathing deepened. He bit his tongue; it took everything in him to not bite into both their throats. She didnât have to suck his dick to get the sweatshirt, he gave it to her before that, because he cared.
âOh yeah, forgot about that. Sheâs probably still waiting for me. Leave now and you might catch her.â
Luke huffed, turning on his heel and storming out the gym, scrambling in his pocket for his phone. Tony and his friend snapped their heads to his sudden exit, catching the eyes of Dylan and Mackie who shook their heads in disappointment before turning back to what they were doing. Tony had no idea he had an enemy until then.Â
He burst out the gym doors into the hallway, pacing up and down with his fingers tangled in his hair, phone pressed to his ear but every attempt going to voicemail. He gave up texting, he could send a hundred texts, and she wouldnât see them anyway, her phone was always on silent but with enough hope, she may see him call.Â
Goosebumps rose along y/nâs arms, the autumn breeze catching up to her and perhaps she should have worn a jacket after all. She thought about getting up and heading back to her dorm, but the energy to do so had been sucked from her, limbs feeling heavy, and heart shattered. The longer sheâd sat there, the more she realised she wasnât upset about Tony, it was being stood up. He really did not want to see her that badly after all. Watching the same customers walk out the bar that she watched walk in, she pulled her phone out, lockscreen filled with Lukeâs contact and five missed calls. What was so important that he had to call now? Why was she suddenly so popular with him again? Just as she scoffed and went to slide her phone into her back pocket, his name flashed again, for the sixth call. Her thumb hovered over the accept button, biting her lip with nerves crawling in her stomach.
âWhy werenât you picking up? Where are you?â His voice was panicked, and she could hear how fast his breathing was through the speaker.Â
âSorry, was too busy sucking off Ohio Stateâs hockey team.â Her voice clipped, running her nail over her jeans, tears welling in her eyes and reactivating her mascara, if there was any still left on her lashes.
âHaha, so funny.â He laughed sarcastically, âWhere are you?âÂ
âWhy do you care suddenly? Youâll probably just laugh in my face anyway.â
âFucking God, y/n/n. Where are you?â
She flinched slightly at his raised voice, jolting her phone from her ear before replying with a sulky pout, âDiabloâs, but Iâll probably come back soon.â
He hung up, stuffing his phone back into his pocket and bolting out Yost without thinking about anything else. The only thought was getting y/n back safely before the worst happened. What was she thinking? She should've started walking the second Tony failed to arrive, before it was dark. His jogging gradually shifted into a run, Diabloâs wasnât more than fifteen minutes away from campus, and he was aware that he looked a little crazy running with the bare minimum of usual running gear but that wasnât the issue. He would have never stood her up like that, he should have walked her to the bar in the first place and waited until he arrived. He shouldâve, he shouldâve but he didnât. Heâd been harbouring his feelings for so long, yet he couldnât even provide something as minimal as a walk, but he wouldnât let her sit outside a bar because of some shitty guy.Â
Y/n stretched her legs in front of her, eyes locked on her shoes as her ears tuned the world out, letting it pass by slowly before she thought about getting up. She knew exactly what she was doing. Fallen into yet another trap set her heart, she was waiting for Luke. Again. If it werenât for the familiar maize and navy trainers appearing in front of her, she wouldâve punished herself for even considering that Luke may have cared about her in the slightest. Slowly, she tilted her chin up: the gym shorts, the compression shirt, the flushed cheeks and unruly curls from the wind. What was once a heavy anvil on her shoulders ascended, taking the blues out from her body and replacing them with that spark. That electric spark that made her limbs all tingly with life and energy. Lukeâs eyes softened at her, although his fears had been wiped, she was okay, but Tony made her cry. That time and effort sheâd put in had ran down her cheeks and if he wasnât so fuelled with captivation, he wouldâve lost his temper. But she was his serenity, always had been.
âYou came.â She squeaked, doe eyes peering up at him lovingly.
âOf course I did.â Luke panted, taking her by the hands and pulling her to her feet. He didnât let go for a while, neither did she. His hands were warm, and she remembered how safe they always made her feel, how heâd always have his arm draped over the back of her seat during the summer, how she felt like the only girl in the world when their eyes met. âCome on, Iâll walk you back.âÂ
It wasnât a long walk back, but neither was it romantic. Luke had his hands in his pockets and y/nâs in hers but the distance between them couldnât have been closer, like two magnets once again, hauling back into each other. When they had taken the fifteen-minute walk back to their dorm block, he walked with her all the way until they stood outside her door and only they could somehow make it awkward.Â
They gave each other a small nod, as if to give a silent goodbye until y/n span on her heel, her arms winding around his torso against her better judgement. He blinked twice and froze, he couldnât remember the last time sheâd hugged him so tight, she fit like a glove, and heâd forgotten how much he felt like he belonged somewhere, with someone when in her arms. He melted into her, arms wrapping around her shoulders and resting his lips to the top of her hair. The violent urge to kiss her, only a peck but he knew that if he kissed her once, itâd lead to more. It always did.Â
Pulling away, she tilted her head up at him, hands holding the sides of his shirt while his glid to the tops of her shoulders. The silence thick, eyes searching for something, rolling tapes of lost memories theyâd tried to forget: the treehouse, the boat, every second they even considered that they had a chance. Lukeâs hands cupped her jaw, thumbs caressing over her cheekbones as he licked his lips. Her grip tightened, mouth parting and leaning onto her tiptoes while he dipped down, breaths tying together, noses bumping. He said he wouldnât do it, she said she didnât want to do it but in the end all they ever ended up doing was intertwining back into each other. Their lips ghosted, eyelashes fluttering against their cheeks until lips grazed in the slightest.Â
The reality of the situation crashed down upon her heavily, like getting caught in a hailstorm. She was a strong soldier, she could resist. Everything would circle back like it always did. They would kiss, things would be fine and then heâd disappear. If it can happen once, it can happen again, and again and again until one of them stopped the chase. Luke would just hurt her again; she would just look for guys to fill the hole in her heart he made when he would leave, and the self-destruction had to stop at some point. Her eyes snapped open, and she nudged him back lightly, âNo. I-I canât do this, Lu.âÂ
Lukeâs world darkened, a hollow sorrow washing through him as he let her push him away. Pathetically, he looked at her, a pleading guilt jabbing him in the stomach as his hands yearned to reach out for her. They hung by his sides instead and she inhaled deeply, shakily.
âI don't get it. One minute Iâm everything to you and the next itâs like I donât existâŚyou keep coming back at random times like nothingâs happened, at times when I think that you donât want me anymoreâŚitâs just so- so confusing! I feel like Iâm always waiting on you to make up your mind, Luke.â She pinched the bridge of her nose, the defeat rising inside her. âYou like me and then you donât and I canât keep playing cat and mouse all the time. Thank you for picking me up and looking out for me, but until youâve figured out what you want, please leave me be.âÂ
 Like that, she was gone. Turned away and retreated to her dorm, leaving him standing like a lost puppy in the hallway. He didnât want to cry, not there at least but how heâd managed to make things worse, he couldnât say. All he knew is that she was right, and that was the part that hit him the hardest. He knew his answer, he knew he did want her and was going to give them one last chance, but she didnât know that. From her perspective, he was just getting close to running away, hoping sheâd chase him back but now she wasnât. The next time theyâd meet would either be the last of everything they built, or the start of something new.
When y/n stepped into her dorm looking like sheâd been through several horrendous break-ups and four bushes backwards, Bella jolted up from her bed, scrambling out her covers. Y/n told her everything. Everything from her mess with Luke to Tony ditching her. The good, the bad and the ugly about the whole story and while Bella was pissed about the latter, even she could see Luke in a battle of his own.Â
âHave you ever considered that LukeâsâŚyâknowâŚscared?â Bella asked, leaning against the bathroom door frame, eyes meeting y/nâs in the mirror as she scrubbed the mascara from her face.Â
As if she couldnât have made the ordeal any messier than it was, she feared she just had out of her own borderline selfishness. She hadnât considered his side of the story. Ever.
*
One intensely lit house with LED light strips covering the walls, pulsing and flashing changing colours in beat with the music blaring through the speakers, two girls weaved their way through a sea of bodies into the kitchen, five boys hovering in the living room, making conversation with sophomores in the frat.Â
Their first frat party as freshmen and the nerves were skyrocketing. The only reason y/n and Bella went was because Dylan had invited y/n, and she begged Bella to tag along since it would be a fun experience and so she didnât have to go alone. So far, so good. Theyâd lost count of how many drinks theyâd poured, shots taken, people spoken to, they were just girls.Â
The boys were on a mission. Well, Luke was, the boys were just orchestrating events and giving Luke multiple pep-talks about it being ânow or neverâ. They were right, of course. Luke had just over a week of no contact, a week for staring at his reflection in the mirror, lying in bed at night staring at the ceiling, thinking, planning, anticipating and now it would all stop.Â
Ethan lined up his shot, ping pong ball loosely held between his fingers, and he released, biting his lip as the ball bounced into the opposing teamâs cup. The boys cheered, throwing each other into fist bumps and bro-hugs, a few girls applauding around them. Y/n and Bella stood within that surrounding crowd, Mark wiggling them to the front as if they were VIPs, part of their group. When Lukeâs turn came around, she noticed the fan club heâd gained, pretty girls giggling and whispering between each other, cheering when Lukeâs shot landed in the cup. She ran her tongue over her top teeth, a lethal glare on the girls as they tried to loop their arms around Lukeâs, but her muscles relaxed seeing Dylan and Mackie stand beside him, ushering the girls back.Â
Bella nudged her, leaning over to murmur in her ear, âSomething tells me heâs made up his mind.â
Y/n opened her mouth, but Mark stumbled over his feet in front of them, asking if they fancied another drink (of course they did) and taking both their wrists gently with a goofy grin on his face, leading them through the people, brushing past a couple guys in the doorway whose eyes followed them towards the back corner of the kitchen, where the rest of the guys had managed to claim. Mark was sweet, baby faced and a ball of sunshine with contagious energy, ensuring they were in the circle securely. He ushered y/n between himself and Luke, Bella on the other side with Dylan and Mackie but no matter how tucked away she was in the boys, the looming gaze of someone else clawed at her.Â
Ten minutes passed, the group still in a deep conversation amongst themselves and she peered back over her shoulder again, the - presumably older guy, maybe a senior - still watching her every move like a hawk, leaning into his friend and pointing at her with smirks. Thereâs nothing more terrifying in a womanâs life than knowing youâre being watched because being watched means thereâs a further plan. If she had known she was being watched at the carnival, she could have moved somewhere else but now, she did know she was being watched and her legs paralysed, staying where she was would keep her safe. But she wanted to run, run home, run to her bed, run to her dorm where she couldnât be found, and security cameras lined the halls. The only security blanket keeping her heart from palpitating was Mark and Luke beside her, yet the guy didnât seem bothered by that at all.
There were too many people to run, the kitchen too crowded to slip away without getting caught by him but any longer being stared down by the guy and tears may have fallen, making the whole situation worse. Until she stepped to the side, bumping into a familiar arm. An arm that snaked around her torso and hand settled on her hip, tucking her into his side while he casually continued his conversation with Dylan. He held her close so naturally as if embedded into his autopilot, an instinct. Excitement bubbled in her stomach, exploding in her chest when Luke kissed her hair, watching the guy from across the room disappear from his peripheral vision. The guy may have been watching y/n, but Luke had been watching the guy the entire time, flashbacks from the carnival haunting him. Even if she were to shove him away, the least he could do was keep her safe from the start this time. Y/n didnât shove him away, she leant into him like putty melding to his form, if she was with him, all the nerves disintegrated.Â
âNo, thatâs what Iâm saying!â Ethanâs voice raised above, turning from Mark as he turned to the rest of the group, âOkay, is anyone else down for shots? I have this spinner game.âÂ
In a group agreement, Ethan pulled his phone out, loading up said spinner game and showing his screen. The spinner had different shots on a wheel, from tequila to whiskey to rum to vodka to body shots, the aim to spin and take whatever the arrow landed on. Ethan spun first, resulting in his fate being sealed by whatever whiskey they found lying around the counters. The shot burned unpleasantly down his throat, but anything for a good time. Mackie spun next, taking a dance with tequila and if he had learnt something that night, it was that him and tequila were not fated to be lovers. Both Dylan and Bella took their vodka shots with their arms intertwined with each other. Luke took his turn, unbothered by what his result was until the arrow landed on a body shot. He shook his head smiling, the guys allowing him to choose his partner.Â
Y/n tugged on his t-shirt, gesturing her head towards the island counter behind Mark and Ethan. The group grinned, a concoction of âooohâ and âyeahâ filling the corner as she hoisted herself onto the marble, Luke standing between her legs and receiving his tequila shot from Dylan. She tugged the strap of her tank top over her shoulder slightly, giving Luke enough room to sprinkle the line of salt on the crook of her neck while Mark returned with a slice of lime. Lukeâs eyes met hers, giving her a look of reassurance, a kind look asking her if she was all right. She licked her lips, that familiar coquettish look blazing back at him just like in the treehouse last summer. Tequila burned down his throat, tongue licking the salt from her neck, scenarios of slow and wet kisses across the skin, his teeth sinking into her tearing through her imagination, y/n struggling to keep quiet but when his mouth had found her sweet spot like that, she wanted nothing more than for him to devour her then and there.Â
He couldnât have cared less about the salt, his face belonged buried in her neck and if he could rewind the clock just to repeat his actions then he would have. His hands steadied by her sides, heat flushing to his neck and the lime he was supposed to take next may as well have never existed. The opportunity was there, he could finally show her his decision, how he felt and what he wanted. The audience around them didnât matter, to him, it was just him and y/n in some random fratâs kitchen, a simple body shot doing Godâs work but Ethan rigging the game earning the MVP award for the night. He emerged from her neck, parting his lips slightly and falling weak to her and he was done with keeping her waiting.Â
Pulling the lime from her lips, he tossed it aside, both hands cupping her jaw, the world stopping entirely when their lips met hastily. He kissed her like every time before, heavy and with meaning, like it screamed a thousand different tequila flavoured ways to convey his feelings. Her hands delicately placed themselves over his, keeping him close, keeping him in and pressed into her, shockwaves over her body and she melted into him with parting lips. Their friends cheered and hooted, clinking their shot glasses together but it fell deaf upon Luke and y/n, their tongues tangled in a bruising, breathless kiss until they had to pull away for air. His lips pulled into a grin, thumbs soothing over her cheeks as her eyes slowly widened with a smile spreading across her face.Â
Luke dipped closer to her ear, hands falling to her hips and murmured, âItâs always been you.âÂ
âLetâs go somewhere quieter-â she turned her head towards him, lips close to his ear, but Dylan slapped Lukeâs back and yelled something about their room being off limits for the night as he passed, Bella dragging him through the kitchen.Â
Lukeâs eyebrows raised upon initially entering y/nâs room, a homely feeling embracing him when she switched the fairy lights on, and they ditched their shoes next to the door. Y/n waved him over to her bed, her back against the headboard and he followed, squeezing next to her, arm wrapping around her shoulders and tucking her into his chest. They knew they owed each other a talk, their sides of the story, the rise and the fall. Luke needed to explain, and she needed to confess, the longer they pretended like it wasnât eating them alive the thicker that wedge between them became.
âI didnât like Cameron at all, I only went out with him to make you jealous. I thought youâd get protectiveâŚâ she said, Luke humming in acknowledgement, âI just wanted that little confirmation that I mattered.â
âYeah, it worked. But you always mattered, sâwhy Iâve been trying all this time to ask you out.â He mumbled, his voice seductively low, rumbling through his chest.
âThen what were you gonna say at the end of summer, because I know it wasnât supposed to be about the beach.âÂ
Luke inhaled deeply, his hand snaking to her waist and settling on her hip, âI was gonna ask you on a date to the arcade we loved as kidsâŚbut then I freaked out and got scared againâŚâÂ
âWhy were you scared, Lu? What was there to be scared of?â She couldnât get the pieces to click, and Luke grew frustrated, admitting things was not an easy job.Â
âY/n, Iâve loved you my entire life, everything was to be scared of. I thought you didnât like kissing me, then you went on a date with what's-his-face, then Cameron and somewhere between there I donât know, I thought it was over for me, that we were just friends. I thought Iâd lost you after all those years of trying.â He rambled, the pent-up words falling from his mouth, but he didnât sound annoyed, not once. If anything, the weight that latched itself onto Lukeâs shoulders lifted the more he rambled.Â
She had been right; she hadnât thought about his perspective on everything. Heâd done nothing but put her first, hold her hand, kiss her, accompany her, rescue her, be the boyfriend she never had, and she threw him to the side for some guy as if he never mattered. Then wondered why he was so far away. Perhaps she wouldâve reacted the same, after all, seeing someone you love with another isnât a burden easy to bear. Guilt choked her hard, he knew all along what he wanted, and sheâd just made it difficult to confess. Really shitty but she was part of the problem Luke battled.
âYou never lost me, Lu,â with glossy eyes and a delicate touch to his jaw, she turned his head to face her, âweâve been close for as long as I can remember.â
âThatâs why I was scared. I canât just be friends with you and last summer we werenât just friends, y/n. Last summer meant everything to me and I really hoped youâd be my girl and well, I fucked that up.â His eyes flickered to her lips, he should have felt bad as tears welled in her eyes, but he finally, with the liquid courage from earlier, could get the words out how he wanted.Â
Her lip quivered, hand cupping the nape of his neck and her thumb leaving feathery touches over his jaw, a tear breaking through and slipping down her cheek, âMe too. Is there a chanceâŚI can still be your girlfriend?â
âYou think I kissed you for shits and giggles?â He leaned in, half on his own and half with the prompt of her pulling him closer, pressing their lips together tentatively, a warmth of familiarity blooming through them like flowers in their lungs. But those flowers werenât choking them anymore, they weaved between their ribcages and bones like a garden of bliss and beauty, pollinating their hearts with desire.Â
He licked across her bottom lip, tongue finding hers in a languid rhythm while his free hand wrapped around her thigh, pulling her over to straddle his lap. Y/n moaned into the kiss, relaxing under his hands gliding over every inch of her waist and back, pressing her body into his with lips disconnecting with strings of saliva between them. He smothered her neck in electrifying butterfly kisses, from her ear down to the crook of her neck to that sweet spot heâd found earlier, nipping at the skin until her fingers laced in his curls, tugging and drawing a deep, raw groan from his chest.Â
Lukeâs hands, hot and calloused, snuck under her top, slowly following the natural curve of her spine and waist, the fabric rising the further he explored, thumbs teasing her underside of her breasts along the lace of her bra. Lace. The concept of y/n wearing lace underwear sent shivers down his spine, heat to his dick and his hips bucked up as if a reflex, but it wasnât the first time heâd imagined it. A high-pitched whimper escaped her lips, little sparks flushing over her skin the further her top seemed to hike up her body until Luke bunched the fabric at her chest, pulling it over her head and tossing it to the end of her bed, his warm lips attacking her collarbones with little nips disguised by kisses before sucking pink blossoms along her skin to her tits, his large hands cupping and kneading.Â
âNo fair,â her fingers tugged at the back of his t-shirt, clumsily pulling it up his back. He let out a low chuckle into her skin before sitting straight, discarding the clothing over his head and setting his hands on her waist. Sheâd seen him hundreds of times before, but this was different, this was private. âSo fucking pretty, Lu. Just wannaâŚâ
âJust wanna what?â he purred, leaning back into the headboard and adjusting his hips up against her, his jeans failing to hide his solid cock bumping her crotch. âIf youâre gonna talk dirty to me, you gotta use your words, pretty girl. I donât know what you want me to do.âÂ
She gasped, pussy fluttering at the friction and her dreamy gaze brought his cocky smirk back to his lips. Lukeâs hands gripped her hips tighter, guiding them to roll over his dick once more, twice more, until her nails dug into his shoulders for stability, inner core burning like fire with every brush against her clit, panties sticking to her folds in ways that disgraced her dignity. It felt so good, she felt good, just dry humping alone had her jaw slacking and little pants of air slipping through her lips all while Luke tilted his head back, grinning ear to ear with his eyes closed, cock throbbing painfully. He wouldnât have cared if he came right then and there, in his boxers that he would sure have to wear in the morning.Â
She took his hands off her hips, gliding them up her body until they reached her back, his fingers meeting the clasp of her bra as she slid the straps over her shoulders, a sultry yet so encouraging look smeared across her face. He struggled slightly with the clasp, but her hands cupping his face rid of the embarrassment before it had even hit, the underwear falling from her body and discarded to the floor. Luke licked his lips, her hands finding their way to his and placing them over her tits, an invitation to explore how he pleased. His ears tinted pink again, eyes unable to leave the view of his hands timidly groping her chest and every thought heâd been having up until that moment blanked. Soft, so soft and squishy, God he could do that forever, sleep on them until the end of time. He brushed his thumbs over her nipples, her back arching into him and y/n let out an airy whimper, tilting her head back.Â
âSo fuckinâ pretty, y/n,â he hummed, one hand lying flat on her back as he dipped down, pressing wet kisses to her tit, taking the peak between his lips and swirling his tongue leisurely around her nipple. His other hand wrapped around her other breast, groping and squishing it, pinching the nipple between his fingers until her airy whimpers increased into lewd cries of his name, a whirling warmth in her throbbing cunt. He released her - now wet - tit, breathing heavily with disbelief. Heâd just sucked his childhood crush, long-time friendâs tit, in her room and she was really half naked on his lap, definitely feeling how hard he was against her pussy, and he loved every second of this animalistic yearning coursing through him.
Y/nâs hands trailed down his chest, over every dip and definition of his muscles until they fumbled with his belt, mind becoming hazy at the memory of the way she looked at him the last time sheâd taken him in her mouth, the pleasant challenge of getting his tip to hit the back of her throat, his whimpering and begging replaying in her ears. Sliding backwards down his legs, she barely got her mouth anywhere near his cock before his fingers wrapped around her neck, pressing firmly on the sides and pulling her back up to his eye level, her heart pulsing in her ears with the condescending look on his face. He slotted his mouth on hers to find her tongue again, saliva pooling at the corner of their lips and they didnât hate it. She shouldnât have enjoyed the compression as much as she did, but his hands were so much bigger on her body, like he could crush her and her eyes threatened to roll to the back of her head, a strained moan gasping out.Â
âPlease,â she whined between kisses, âtaste so good, so big, need you.â
âNuh-uh, itâs my turn.â He looked down at her before releasing her throat, winding an arm around her and flipping her onto her back underneath him. He painted her body with gentle kisses, from the valley of her breasts, down her stomach to the top of her shorts, smoothly unbuttoning them and pulling the zip down with his teeth, âBeen thinkinâ about how you taste. Can I?â
He peered up at her through his eyelashes, watching y/n prop herself onto her elbows and lick her lips. She paused, the silence comfortable as he waited for her consent, âYeah, pleaseâŚthis is justâŚnever done this before.âÂ
Luke kissed her stomach before sitting onto his knees, giving her a warm, reassuring smile before hooking his fingers around the waist of her shorts, âNeither. Weâll figure it out, okay?âÂ
She nodded, smiling, lifting her hips and letting him slide the clothing down her legs and ditching them somewhere on the floor. He straddled back over her, running his hands over her bare legs before dipping down to place a hot kiss on her clothed clit, sparks skimming over his body by how sopping her panties were.Â
She whimpered quietly, watching him begin to lower himself before she placed her foot onto his shoulder, pushing him back onto his knees, head lulling into her shoulder with a desperate tint in her eyes, âJeans, off.â
The corner of his lips tugged upwards as he slid off the bed, kicking his jeans and socks off and crawling back over her, settling between her legs again. His fingers re-hooked around her waistband, gliding her panties down her legs leaving tingles like feathers along the skin in their wake before she removed her legs from them one by one. He threw of leg over his shoulders, laying on his stomach and left slow kisses along her inner thigh, nipping at the skin to pull a squeal from her and sucking over the spot until a purple blotch marked. One hand lay splayed over her lower stomach, his other holding her other leg slightly apart, enough to catch a view of her glistening folds and give him room to spread them open with his thumb.Â
âFuck, gonna need you to use your words here, pretty girl.â His voice was gruff, breath hitting her sensitivity, and she lulled her head back, readjusting herself on her elbows because there was no way she would miss watching him devour her. His thumb circled her clit dubiously, eyes peeking up at her and even though the sensation didnât hit just right yet, having any sort of attention to a virgin clit still sent pleasure to her head.
âLittle firmer, little faster-oh!â she explained, Luke following her instructions as she spoke until the sensation hit her like a brick, jolting through her, jaw falling slack, âLike that, Lu, shit.â
He grinned, running his other thumb through her folds, spreading the slick before taking his thumb into his mouth, eyes locked into hers, licking and relishing in the way she tasted and humming into the heaven that consumed him. Sinking lower into her mattress, he drew his hand away from her clit, hand pressing down on her stomach and other wrapping her thigh around his shoulder, tongue flicking at her bundle of nerves, small kisses, nipping, sucking until she raked her fingers through his curls, pushing him into her cunt. He ran his tongue through her folds, lapping at the pussy juices without a care about how loud he was being, nose bumping into her clit, her jaw falling agape and helpless mewls slipped through her lips as she bucked her hips up pathetically. He could have eaten her out all day, his new favourite place to hide that graced him with the most beautiful, pornographic noises from his favourite person. He couldnât help himself, there was too much ecstasy intoxicating him that he barely noticed himself rutting his cock into the mattress the hungrier he dipped into her.
He pulled back momentarily, lips vibrating against her cunt that had her wines drawn-out and fingers tugging at his curls in a way that tore guttural groans from him, âSuch a pretty fuckinâ pussy, all fuckinâ mine.âÂ
He dove back in, hands pinning her to the bed and plunging his tongue into her, moaning against her folds so harsh they reverberated through her body, making every hair stand on end. He lifted his head up, middle finger tracing through her folds and sliding inside her easily, a wave of fire washing over her, and his ring finger entered alongside, Luke pumping them in precise and careful motions while watching the way her face contorted with pleasure.Â
âThatâs it, good girl,â he cooed, his name falling from her mouth like a song. He curled his fingers, realising heâd hit the right spot when her breath hitched and whimpered out, âso loud fâme, thatâs it, taking my fingers so well.â
âThere, right there, Luke! Donât stop!âÂ
His fingers thrusted in and out of her with a rhythm, cherishing the warmth and completely obsessed how she stretched out for him, biting his lip and petting her g-spot as she squirmed, his hand on her stomach keeping her still. He drew his fingers out, taking them into his mouth, eyes almost fluttering closed at the taste until he dove straight back into her pussy, messily letting his tongue work its magic with his nose hitting her clit with each dip.
âLu! Luke, please Luke,â she sobbed out desperately, free hand gripping the bedsheets. She couldnât believe heâd never gone down on a woman before, he ate her like a starved man, so many pleasures triggering at once, her body and mind completely short-circuited, and she was left with filthy whines and incoherent sentences. âGonna cum, let me cum, please-â
Her words dissipated into the air, eyes rolling back as the brutality of his tongue lapped and assaulted mercilessly, arousal coating his chin as he attempted to pull her impossibly closer. Heâd never thought heâd be so pussydrunk on someone before, especially going in with only the knowledge his friends had given him after many late-night conversations in random car parks of fast-food restaurants. The coil in her stomach tightened, eyes squeezing shut and she was so close to that final release until cold air fanned her pussy. Eyes snapping open, she whipped her head forward to see Luke staring at her with wild eyes, arousal dripping from his chin and her fingers slipped from his hair as he sat on his knees, her legs falling and wrapping around his hips as he wiped his face with his hand, licking the excess from his fingers.Â
âWhyâd you stop? I was so close.â She whined, but trailed off the further he tugged his boxers off, cock springing free, and he hovered over her, dipping down to kiss her softly, trailing from her lips, along her cheek to the shell of her ear.
âWant you to cum on my cock,â he purred, latching his teeth onto her collarbone, sucking until heâd left his mark, teasing her cunt by running his tip through her folds until her arms wrapped around his back, nails digging into the flexed muscles.
âFuck, need you inside me, Lu,â she said in a small voice, unable to take the teasing anymore with a throbbing pussy and desperate need to be filled up, âmâon the pill, please, fuck me.â
âSsh, I got you,â he murmured, inching his cock in painfully slow but the last thing he wanted was to hurt her. Luke groaned into her shoulder, every vein, every nerve caressing her warm walls the further she swallowed his size. God, she felt so perfect, suited for him and for a moment he thought sheâd struggle to take him until something about imagining the bulge in her stomach as she tried to take him made his cock twitch. Once he bottomed out, their lips met for a long kiss, her tongue darting into his mouth and muffling her moans as she adjusted to his size, core burning at how he stuffed her full and she craved more.Â
Y/nâs nails massaged his scalp, tugging gently, âYou can move,â she whispered.
He steadied his biceps either side of her head, rocking his hips back and forth languidly like she was made of glass until the little high-pitched whimpers sank into his skin, spurring him to increase his pace, feeling her tits bounce against his chest with every push in. Sweat formed on his forehead, curls beginning to stick as he huffed hot air into the crook of her neck.
âSo tight, y/n, feel so fuckinâ good,â his lips laced her neck in sloppy kisses before sitting on his knees, hands on her hips in a vice grip as he drilled into her, gradually thrusting harder and faster the more his eyes locked on the bulge in her lower stomach. His splayed hand over it, a deep chuckle rumbling in his chest, âso fuckinâ tight nâ look at that.â
âFeels sâgood!â she cried, âOh- yes, Lu, yes.â
Her nails dug into the sheets, fisting them as Luke snapped his hips, euphoria erratically zapping him as he watched the way his cock bulged and dipped with his thrusting, her walls clenching around him. She wailed out an erotic moan, mind fogging and the only sense working in her system being the way she could feel his cock pulse inside her, dragging along her walls and stuffing her full like he was meant to.Â
âYou feel me, babe? Feel how fuckinâ well your pretty pussy takes me?â A carnal desire controlled him like a puppet, the deeper he slammed his dick into her, the louder the slapping of skins and he leaned back down over her, feeling her arms struggle to embrace his much larger body and nails clawing angry marks into his skin as if marking her territory. He could get used it, no one else could make him feel the way she did. No one could make him want to fuck her with every drop of love and affection he had in him other than y/n. He wasnât driving into her because he was horny, he wanted to be closer, feel purpose and comfort with being vulnerable and exposed and it just happened to be the most pervertedly enthralling experience of his life.Â
âL-Lu! Mâgonna c..cum.â she panted, letting drawn-out, wanton moans bounce off her dorm room walls the deeper he plunged his cock into her, âSo big- let me cum, please.â
âMe too, pretty, me too.â He planted a kiss to her forehead, ignoring the salty sweat coating his tastebuds, he couldnât have cared less, it wasnât like he wasnât drenched in sticky sweat too.Â
She began to fall limp, her grip on him loosening as her eyes rolled to the back of her head, the coil in her stomach unable to get any tighter and on its last legs. She didnât want the high to end, the volume of the world starting to cut to white noise and vision blurry, Lukeâs stuttering thrusts tearing an orgasm through her while he fucked her through his own, white, creamy release circling the base of his cock as his rutting slowed to a stop. He collapsed onto her chest, buring his face into her neck and panting falling in sync with hers.Â
He pulled out, wiping the leaking cum from her thighs with his finger and taking in the last juices before nestling into her breasts. His eyes fell heavy when her fingers carded through his curls and with the little energy he had left, he kissed her cheek, âYou did so well for me, such a good girl. Pretty fuckinâ noises just fâme.â
They lay in silence to muster up their energy, breathing patterns in sync, y/n tracing patterns over his back and Luke periodically leaving chaste kisses on her collarbone. The world couldnât have been more perfect, even if their skins stuck together grossly, even if they had to sleep in cum-stained sheets for the night, he planned to help with cleaning those in the morning anyway. Y/nâs heart didnât race with him anymore, it slowed with serenity of finally having a person, finally being able to breathe around him. There was truly no greater feeling than the tranquillity of devotion blooming through two lovers.Â
Y/n tapped his back lightly, indicating that she needed to get up. He weakly crawled off, helping her by the hand and following her to her bathroom. They didnât bother with privacy while she peed, theyâd just had sex, what was there to hide now? What Luke did do, was wet a cloth y/n had pointed to him and do his best do wipe up any excess release off the mattress, highly aware that most if it would have dried by that point.
âLu?â she called out quietly, poking her head from the bathroom. He turned his head, calmly, âYou showering now or in the morning?âÂ
Something so simple, so domestic had his heart melting inside his chest, âIâll go after you.â
She smiled, disappearing back into the bathroom. He picked up his clothes, folding them and placing them onto her desk chair. He folded her clothes next, hanging them on the back of her chair and pulling her pyjamas out from under her pillow, where she always put pyjamas, no matter where she was. Lukeâs mind slowly functioned like normal again, the high of sex wearing down yet still giddy in his system. After years of pining, failing, chasing, crying, they finally fell into place. Was it worth it? Yeah, maybe. Was there an easier way? Absolutely, but he was younger then, scared and stupid. It didnât matter anymore, he had his girl, and he loved her more than anything.
*
Y/n stirred, sleepy eyes opening to a weight on her chest, a grounding weight with long, unruly curls brushing against her lips ever so slightly, one palm cupped over her breast with his ear pressed to the other. Lukeâs other arm managed to wind itself around her waist, trapped between the curve of her back and the mattress, one of her hands gently stroking through his hair and the other tracing the red scratch marks along his bare back. His breathing heavy but his face so peaceful and she smiled to herself. No, she didnât think heâd run off before sheâd woken up but she had entered university thinking it wouldnât be him in her bed at all, but she was elated that it was. There wasnât a better sight to see at eight in the morning.Â
Lukeâs eyes fluttered open, groaning deeply at his hair being played with and he nuzzled into her chest. He rasped, morning voice deep and husky, âMorning, beautiful.âÂ
âGood morning, pretty boy.â She smiled, pushing hair off his forehead. She wanted to wake up like that every day, tangled with Luke, him being the first person she saw, listened to. Even if he was much larger than she was, the pressure of him laying on her body was comforting, domestic even.
He shuffled around, removing his arm from around her waist, letting the blood flow back through it before propping himself onto his elbows. His eyes scanned her features, her sleepy eyes, tousled hair, the red bites on her collarbones and his lips pulled into a beatific and lazy grin.
âWhat are you smiling about?â she asked, his smile transferred to her infectiously and she cupped his cheek.Â
âThinkinâ about how much I love you, sâall.âÂ
Y/nâs chest warmed, fireworks exploding at her loverboy gazing at her with awe glazed over his eyes, the words falling onto her ears feeling right, bright and fresh like the first time the sun shines in the spring and all the new life begins.Â
âI love you too,â she kissed his forehead, interrupted by his stomach rumbling, âbreakfast?â
He threw back the duvet, scrambling off her and sighing at his clothes he folded on the chair, y/n shuffling around behind him before handing him his USA Hockey sweatshirt and a pair of shorts heâd left at herâs over the summer. He slipped his phone from his jeans pocket, how it had managed to stay tucked in there was beyond his knowledge and how it still had twenty-percent of battery was also a question for the deities above.Â
Luke almost dropped his phone when two arms wrapped around his torso from behind, his cheeks burning from smiling and his stomach fluttering, âThe guys wanna debrief in the dining hall.â
âMmmâkay, but you know theyâre gonna ask where we went last night, right? What do we say?â she peppered his back with kisses until he spun around, her arms still looped around his torso but now he could take her face into his hands.
âAs if theyâd remember, theyâd be lucky to remember anything after doing shots.â He laughed, planting a kiss to her hair.Â
Luke had been right. The boys and Bella all sat at one of the tables, coffees and bowls of cereals and plates of toast being poked at with hands cradling heads, hoods pulled over. Luke and y/n joined them, their own breakfast in front of them and slightly perkier than their friends.
âYou guys look rough, long night?â Luke quipped, shoving cereal into his mouth. He didnât feel too bad, but by the time heâd kissed y/n on the counter heâd sobered up.Â
âBro donât even go there,â Mark grumbled, his face pale, âthe last thing I remember is Ethan asking to do shots and beyond that is blank. Woke up on the floor in last nightâs clothes.âÂ
âHow the fuck are you okay, man? You were on beer and tequila!â Dylan complained, hoodie pulled high up his neck and drawstrings pulled tight, his hair dishevelled still.Â
âNo, no, thereâs a more important question,â Mackie waved his spoon around at the group, giving Bella an encouraging side-eye, who kicked Ethan under the table.
âOw, shit-â he hissed, but eventually catching the others drift. Y/n gulped, her breathing becoming shaky, and Lukeâs hand found her knee, thumb caressing it softly as all eyes fell to the pair. What was she supposed to say now, anxiety fizzled in her stomach and Lukeâs chest tightened. No, they werenât ashamed but itâs not something you outwardly announce to people youâve known just over a month, âLegend has it that thereâs some deep lore going on here.â
Y/n exhaled, her breathing finding itâs pace again and Luke felt like heâd been freed of all his bounds. ThatâŚwas not what they were expecting at all. They looked at each other uncertainly, shrugging before turning back to the others.
âYeah, come on, do tell. If weâre gonna be friends, we gotta know the backstory of this whole thing we got roped into. We got time.â Mark leaned closer into the group, they all leaned closer as if they were about to hear the greatest secret of all time.Â
They both sighed, Luke speaking up first, âWell, it all started when we were five-â
The retelling began, everyone invested in their cat and mouse game that demonstrated how naive and fragile the world can be. The rumble of the dining hall silenced out in their ears, and while one chapter closed for good, university would open another, but this time, theyâd live it together where theyâd be on the same page instead of skipping sections or tearing parts out. Luke got his girl and y/n got her romance, and neither would be stuck waiting on each other anymore.
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