Cogito, ergo sum;

"Watching her read books and throw her heart into small things and love so fully and wildly; it drives you crazy. You want to give her all the coffee shops and fairy-lit nights she dreams about. You want to pull down the clouds so she can taste them, to show her your secrets, to protect her. She bubbles over with passion, with color, with something you thought you’d lost forever. She is life. she reminds you what it’s like to be living. She makes you want to be a better human being." Lily Evans; eighteen, Gryffindor alumna, former Head Girl, working at the muggle liaisons office, lover of books, music, movies and coffee. Order of the Phoenix Member

[imshacklebolted]

Yeah? But why you still focusing on the negative? Plenty of people didn’t die too you know. 

[singularlybrave]

“Fortunately. But they could have!”

“What happened was absolutely awful and it has nothing to do with Quidditch. You should be furious at the Death Eaters anyway if all you care about is the fact that they ruined your match.” 

[aliceroseswonderland]

I’m sure you will, I mean, we’re already getting better at these things. (She shakes her head) I wonder sometimes too. I mean, he’s amazing, but it must be a bit sad. I’m sure Florence helps. (She laughs) Okay, better. 

Hopefully it’ll be over by then. Or if not, things should be better. I know, me too. I mean, I think I’d still be an auror, but I’d like to think we were all just happy. Not that we aren’t now, but in a different way-relaxed. Maybe we’d be doing something like, oh- like traveling the world! That would be nice. 

[singularlybrave]

“We are. But Moody level is not easy to reach. It’s like Moody level.” She nods. “She has to help. I mean, she’s happy all the time. That must be contagious somehow.” 

“Yes, I do believe I’d still be working where I am but it would be different. I would be able to see more of my family and James wouldn’t be so worried about his parents.” She beams. “Travelling the world always sounded wonderful. Perhaps when this whole thing is over. I mean, we’re still really young. There’s no reason we can’t do it.” 

[girlmadeof-stars]

james and lily; during the war

things start to fall apart during their fifth month hidden away at godric’s hollow. lily, seven months pregnant, has constantly swollen ankles and is almost always craving some sort of ridiculous food at some ridiculous time of the night. the other boys help the best they can; sirius brings lily whatever weird food she demands, and peter rubs her feet whenever he can. remus comes over in the dead of night sometimes, the circles under his eyes darker every time, the scars on his hands and neck more prominent, and listens quietly as james unravels and whispers every single worry and doubt he has to keep from lily. when harry’s born, things are lighter for awhile, things are happier. sirius is asked to be godfather, and accepts, his normally shaky hands steady as he holds his godson for the first time. peter transforms into wormtail, and runs up and down little baby harry’s body; he’s the only one always guaranteed to draw a laugh from him. remus slips him chocolate milk, even against james’ protests; lily hides her giggles behind her hands and they all pretend that james is going to be the cool parent. harry brings joy to their days, he’s the shining star in the overwhelming black night that is their life. on halloween, when lily hears james’ body hit the floor, she holds harry tight to her chest, and knows that he’ll be alright; stars as bright as him don’t fade that easy.

[actuallygideon]

“Right – just try not to look so serious, yeah? It’s weirding me out, Lils.” ( he doesn’t ask why she’s distracted – and doesn’t have to, but it shuts him up for a moment until he’s given permission to continue on with his joking. tactless as he is, he doesn’t aim to upset. )

“Have I ever told you about the time I got off with a vampire?” ( there’s a beat for dramatic effect, before he continues, grinning. ) “To be honest it was a bit of a pain in the neck.”

[singularlybrave]

She nods, smiling. “Fine. I promise I’ll try my best.”

She looks at him for a moment before letting a soft chuckle escape from her lips. “I have to admit that was a good one. Though I have no idea where do you get those from. I hope you’re not planning on telling Moody. Please don’t do that.” 

[xenophiliax-deactivated20210622]

“Oh, yes – a newspaper article.” [ he nods, offering a somewhat sheepish smile. ] “I apologise, I should have been more specific. There are rather a lot of different meanings to the word article – articles of clothing, articles in speech, Articles, the famous Antarctic cousin of the Loch Ness Monster.” [ there’s a pause as he considers the suggestion. ] “I take the words of Aurors with a grain of salt. At the end of the day, they still work for the Ministry, after all, and as we all know the Ministry has its prejudices. I give it a few weeks before they start trying to blame this unfortunate event on some poor, innocent creature – pixies, for example.”

[singularlybrave]

“Yes, it could be also an academic article or something like--- wait, the Lock Ness Monster has a cousin?” She tilted her head, half amused, half relieved to be talking to someone about anything else other than the attack. “Just because the Aurors work for the Ministry, doesn’t mean they agree on everything the Minister has to say. I would know, I work there and I do believe they’re handling things poorly.” She chuckled softly.

“As much they surely want to blame someone else, I doubt they manage to do that this time. I think they people who did this wanted to be very clear about who they are.” 

[batmmeline-blog]

Good good, although bald decision would have been fun…

Remus? [blushes slightly and shrugs] I haven’t seen him since before the attack when I gave him some chocolate. [chuckles] Please, like he could ever be a Death Eater, but if he doesn’t want to ask me out you shouldn’t forced him Lily, we are friends, we can share hot chocolate any day as just friends…

[singularlybrave]

She rolls her eyes, smiling slightly.

“I think you and I have very different definitions of what means to be just friends. Oi! He could be a Death Eater. You never know these days. I could be one. Fine, no, I couldn’t, but that didn’t stop that bloody Voldemort to ask when James and I graduated.” She shrugs. “I think you should ask him out.” 

[imshacklebolted]

No? C’mon I know you have no idea how Quidditch even works –but even you need to admit it’s entertaining. You’ve been stripped of your entertainment!

[singularlybrave]

It doesn’t matter if it’s entertaining or not. Weren’t you there? Did you see the same things I saw? 

People died, Rabastan. 

[angie-kang-deactivated20220614]

[singularlybrave]

angie-kang:

she had herself and that was enough

[wthseverus-blog]

“I gather the impression that you have not yet understood the idea of personal space.” Severus drawled, before turning his head a fraction to look pointedly at the person nearest him. “Which means, in shorter words: move.”

[singularlybrave]

She didn’t even recognise the person she had run into until she heard that voice. Of course she knew that voice. She had been listening to it for years until they had stopped talking. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to--- I wasn’t looking where I was going.” 

[actuallygideon]

“Would it kill you to lighten up a bit?” ( whether it’s intended or not, offence is clearly taken; it’s written in the sudden furrowing of his brow and the purposeful sneer he produces out of his resting smile. ) “I know it’s a miserable time for everyone, but, blimey – I spent all morning coming up with that joke ! Don’t I deserve a smile?”

[singularlybrave]

Lily smiled, her expression softening and shaking her head slightly. 

“I’m sorry Gid. It was a good joke, I promise. I was just a bit distracted. You can tell me another one if you want. I’ll pay the most attention and I will even laugh about it.”

[aliceroseswonderland]

I know, it’s amazing. I mean, sometimes he thinks things are happening why they aren’t but (she shakes her head) his instincts are incredible. (She teases) After me, of course. Yeah, it’s just, so awful. All of this. I still can’t understand how people could be so cruel.

Especially since we lived there for so long, it’ll always feel special. I know, me too. They deserve more than this. 

[singularlybrave]

Exactly. I only hope I’ll develop instincts like that after some time. Though he has spent so much time fighting, I wonder how he keeps his mind balanced. Shouldn’t be hard with Florence around, though. (She chuckles) After you, of course, but I can’t say that yet because you’re not a full Auror. 

They shouldn’t be pushed right into battle like we were. I mean, I don’t regret what we’re doing but sometimes I wonder what would have happened if this whole war didn’t exist. 

[dxrcas-meadowes-deactivated2016]

Dorcas blinked. Lily seemed rather shaken, more so than the average. She wondered on offering to brew a calming draught for the other witch.

“Oh, I’m fine. Perfectly alright, actually. A few bruises and such, but really, I wasn’t in the thick of the attack. I was certainly luckier than most of the poor souls coming into St. Mungos. How about you? Name any sore, and I’ll sort it out. I’m almost a full Healer now, you know.”

[singularlybrave]

Lily smiled, relieved that Dorcas seemed quite alright. She had personally made sure to check on everyone she could find in case they needed her help in any way. 

“Yes. Definitely. We were all quite fortunate nothing happened to us. We were definitely more prepared than the rest of the people.” She smiled softly. “I’m fine. Nothing but a few scratches. It all happened very fast. But that’s wonderful! When are you graduating?” 

[purkiss-blog1]

{ following her over, she fiddled with her wand nervously. It’s a good moment before she remembered she can, in fact, cast that spell, nodding quickly } I — yeah, in theory. Never really had to do it before… I don’t think it was that hard, though.  

[singularlybrave]

Don’t worry. (She gives the girl a reassuring smile) Breath in, breath out, try to clear your mind and cast the spell. It’s only a bandage, you can’t go wrong. (With a quick nod, she draws out her wand as well and fixes the broken leg with a swift spell)

[singularlybrave]

After the battle | September, ‘78

[lupinebydesign-deactivated20160]

“You know what they say - about needing to be afraid to be brave, and what have you,” he mentioned with a shrug. “I think it depends. Maybe the younger they are, the more they might be afraid. But I think for them to have joined…him, they must believe he’ll win so what would they really fear? Otherwise - why join someone like that?” Remus’ logical mind couldn’t fathom why anyone would want to do the bidding of a psychopath. Unless they were at wand-point as well. “Or maybe they fear for their lives from him too…” He nodded, a smile lighting up his face at the thought of Dumbledore. “You’re right. He’s the greatest there is. -I’d rather not be afraid at all, if you ask me,” he said with a breath of a laugh, trying to make light of the situation.

[singularlybrave]

She nodded and looked away for a second, suddenly lost in thought. There needed to be something logic about people choosing Voldemort’s side. Yes, there were probably many psychopaths and killers but not everyone was like that. She knew Severus wasn’t like that. 

“I believe some of them have to be different. Perhaps there are good people who were forced to join, or he is threatening them. Perhaps some of them were confused or deceived. I know I’m being naive but I refuse to believe all of them are psychopaths ready to taint their hands with muggle born blood.” She sighed. “I don’t think we can actually help being afraid. But if you ever find a spell or a potion for that, let me know.” 

[evuns-deactivated20190808]

after the attacks // jily

[evuns-deactivated20190808]

It was the first attack he hadn’t been ready for. The first brush with You-Know-Who’s supporters that had shaken him all the way to the core. James wished that he could be braver, have more courage, less fear. But it was hoping far too late, it was wanting to go back in time and tell himself that he could be better than he felt. James froze, he told Alice about the way he hadn’t known how to move, what to do. His Auror partner tried to reassure him, tried to convince James that it was okay not to rush into everything head first and to chalk it up to experience. But James Fleamont Potter didn’t know how to do that, to follow her advice, so he would just swallow back every criticism he had of himself that night and be glad that everyone he cared for got out without much harm. They were lucky, they had been so lucky.

The young Potter’s attention moved over to his girlfriend as she stepped out of the bathroom. Girlfriend. James never would have believed it two years ago, if someone had told him this was where they’d be. Together, let alone living together. He looked at her, and softness touched the edges of his expression. He’d been an idiot as a kid, like most young men probably were. He was selfish, self absorbed, self appreciative. He thought he was the funniest guy in school, him and his friends. Walked around with a big ego and a loud voice, picked on people and found it funny. He wasn’t confident when he had first gone to Hogwarts, he acted far too brashly to make up for what he felt he lacked. Being brilliant at Quidditch exacerbated it, the change in James started happening because he started growing up. Sirius had more problems at home, Remus told them about his furry little problem, James was given a choice in a way - take things more seriously, or get left behind. It took him a while, but his heart had always been in the right place. Maybe a little bit skewed, but it always beat true.

Wonderful. James bit back laughter, smiling instead and folding his hands over hers when she embraced him from behind. He could feel her shape against his back, and his head dipped down slightly. “I’m not hiding it from them. But you know what they’re like, and it’s not like they’re getting any younger,” maybe he was being over presumptive, assuming that his adult parents couldn’t deal with the truth. He just wanted to look after them, he was supposed to. They were his mum and dad, he was their only son. He was meant to be keeping them safe, making sure they were okay. “And of course I have, I want to keep my youthful good looks for as long as I can,” he responded, laughing as she carried on to talk about his mother’s cooking, “You say that, but you weren’t there for the great Christmas dinner fiasco two years ago. Sirius will tell you about it. It was a disaster.” Moving away from her grasp, he turned around and faced her, head tipping to the side, “You look amazing, by the way.” 

[singularlybrave]

No one had been prepared for the attack. No one could have been. Not even Alastor Moody himself; who had been observing everything at everyone during the match seemed ready when the first hexes started to fly. And Lily felt hopeless about it, she felt frustrated. She couldn’t possibly understand how the Death Eaters always managed to be one step ahead. They have nothing to lose, Remus had told her and it was completely true. They didn’t care; about anything apparently. They were all just so stuck on their ideals and their hunger for power that it clearly didn’t matter what they had to do to win. But no one won when it came to war. Even though she hadn’t been involved in the conflict for a long time, Lily had already learned that much. 

She smiled to her boyfriend softly. They had had an odd ride. From getting along awfully, to not speaking at all, to trying and be friends and then finally dating. James had been the unexpected in her life, but at the same time he had been one of the best things that had ever happened to her. When they were together, the world felt safer, more beautiful. They felt almost untouchable for a second. They had both gone a long way, they had both grown up. He had learned to take things more seriously, to observe the world around him; but she had learned to give people second chances, that first impressions weren’t always the right ones. She didn’t believe in destiny, but it was like all that time spent, all those arguments and silences and sneaky looks across the classroom, everything was preparing them to be together. Their time had come when it had to; not sooner or later. 

“I know.” She said, entwining their fingers. “But they deserve to know. You can’t keep them in the dark. You know how strong they are, probably one of the strongest couples I know. They’ll be able to handle it. They know you’re fine.” Lily was able to understand how James felt. She had felt the same way when she had to decide what to tell her own parents about the war. They were muggles, they were so detached from the conflict and yet, they were in danger as well. But she had chosen to tell them the truth, even to her sister, and she didn’t regret it. “But let me tell you that scar looks quite badass. You’re a little bit like a bounty hunter or something.” She chuckled. “Well you have to give her some credit for trying. That’s a lot more than I do.” When he turned around, she quickly wrapped her arms around his neck, standing on her toes slightly. “Thank you.” She said, rubbing her nose against his. “Your mother got this dress for me, actually.” 

[xenophiliax-deactivated20210622]

[ he was never one to remember faces, more spirits – and hers stands out as kindhearted and bold, but so do so many these days; everyone seems either to be a hero or a villain, and he cannot place a name on this one. he nods, returning the smile with one of his own. ]

“Oh, that’s dreadful. Yes, I was writing an article on the event – well, more precisely, when the attack began, I was stargazing a little ways away, but I was still rather present.”

[singularlybrave]

“An article?” He didn’t seem like The Prophet type, but then again there were all kinds of journalists out there and just because the official wizard newspaper was on the conservative side, it didn’t mean they were absolutely closed to new ideas. Or so she hoped. 

“You mean a newspaper article? That’s interesting. If you want to write something about what happened I’m sure there will be some Aurors at the hospital who wouldn’t mind giving you some quotes.” She nodded. “Then it’s fortunate you weren’t right there in the middle of the attack. You could have gotten hurt.” 

[batmmeline-blog]

[nods] Mm-hm… Wait. What?

Oh I get it, you’re trying to trick me because you think I wasn’t paying attention, but I was, see? I was… I just don’t know what you were talking about… But I know it wasn’t about you getting your head shaved… Also James is too obsessed with his hair, I’m afraid the impact will be long lasting damage to his heart. And Sirius would laught at you, I’m pretty sure, even if it looks gorgeous [shrugs] I think you should do whatever you want, it’d be a bold desicion though… Or you could say a bald desicion [giggles and then looks serious] you should expect a lot of those in the future.

[singularlybrave]

She laughs, shaking her head. 

“Don’t worry. I’m not cutting my hair. James would probably make it grow with magic anyway. Not bald decisions whatsoever. I was talking about Remus, though. Did he ever ask you to go for that cup of chocolate milk or did the Death Eaters attack before he could? Because I’m starting to believe he’s the mastermind behind all of this, just so he doesn’t have to actually ask you out.”