The Answer and The Question, Reunited
In The Answer, Ruby and Sapphire discover themselves and each other, but it is as terrifying as it is exhilarating because they are a fundamentally queer relationship, persecuted by their culture. They, through Garnet, are overwhelmed with questions, and desperate for validation.
Rose steps in and gives an Answer. It wasnât a terrible answer. It was validating, reassuring, and encouraging. Rose came in with a confidence and bravado that exuded wisdomâeven if she was not an expert.
âNo more questions. Donât ever question this.â Thatâs such an absolute statement. Certainly it was meant to be encouraging, to say, âDonât ever regret or doubt your love & validity.â But her phrasing is clumsy, and she said it so definitively that it extended beyond that and into, âDonât ever question the nature or shape of your love.âÂ
Garnet has always been a healthy queer neurodivergent relationship because after the initial spark, she is built by communication, collaboration, and hard work over time. Ruby and Sapphire inspire each other to be their best selves:Â Sapphireâs speculative anxiety is tempered into insight, and Rubyâs negative hyperfocusing is tempered into a positive and spontaneous appreciation of the present.Â
However, the questions that a *human* couple usually asks and re-answers for themselves over the course of a lifetime were left un-asked.
My wife and I are human. We age, we change, we grow. Â As we do so, we check in on each other, âIs this working for you? Is this working for me? How do I feel? What do I want? Do I need to add or remove something in my life? Who am I right now? How can we take care of our individual needs and respect and uplift each otherâs needs? Are we still good together?â Â Because of our deep love, we work to find answers that adapt our lives and make our love stronger. We ask questions regularly and find answers ourselves, every time. We re-affirm for ourselves.
Garnet was not inclined to ask these questions partially BECAUSE gems donât change so quickly and easily as humans. Theyâre ageless beings raised in a static gem society of absolutes. Even though they had just broken ALL the rules, they were still processing their revolution in absolutes. That made Garnet more inclined to take it to heart when Rose said never to question it. The Answer was anointed by Roseâand never reexamined by Ruby or Sapphire.Â
Sure, they talked and compromised and agreed to things together, but did they ever QUESTION if their default format was what they wanted? Did they ever explore themselves individually? Not really. And without Roseâs deified legacy propping up their unwavering faith in their current format, they temporarily crumbled.
The episode titled The Question wasnât just referring to âWill you marry me?â The question of their relationship and agency was put forth. It was existential, introspective, and layered. âWhat about self determination? Who are we when weâre apart? What do we want? Why are we together? Is it because of Rose? Were we limiting our growth by never questioning things? Were we pushing a constant state because we were told to, or was it what we wanted?âÂ
 In several interviews, crew talked about a rule in which, âGarnet doesnât ask questions.â Every potential question had to be rephrased. Garnet would never say, âWhat do you think?â Sheâd say, âTell me what you think.â Garnet was told never to question things. She never questioned Rose, or her decisions. As a follower of what she thought was Roseâs validation and revolution, a protector of her legacy and ideals, and as a leader endowed with future vision, she felt compelled and obligated to never to ask questionsâeven about herself.
When a devastated Sapphire lashed out with, âOur entire relationship was based on a lie,â she was still giving Roseâs place in their relationship too much importance and power. She felt that if Rose had lied, then The Answer she had given them was a lie that cost thousands of Crystal Gemsâ lives. Her established anxiety manifested her guilt, and she spiraled into âWhat ifsâ and âI donât know anything,â declarations of despair.
Sapphire was not giving herself and Ruby the credit that they deserved for discovering, maintaining, and loving their relationship and each other for 5,650 years. It wasnât until Pearl helped her realize that Rose was following themâthat Sapphire recognized the independent validity and agency their relationship hadâand that theyâd underestimated. That none of the things that happened were her fault, or something she should have prevented. They were THE ANSWER to Roseâs unspoken questions, they were the true inspiration, and they could affirm their own answer to their own question without regrets.
Ruby, after thinking over Sapphireâs words, also took an extreme interpretation at first: that it was Roseâs choice that made their relationship valid, and not Rubyâs own hard work. In an overcompensating, hyperfocused effort to remove Roseâs power, she decides to try being alone. Â
âOvercompensatingâ doesnât mean â100% wrong.â She was right to realize that sheâd never let herself explore her individual identity enough, having gone from part of a Ruby set to a couple that could never be questioned. If the couple canât be questioned, then the members of the couple canât self-discover as much.Â
She explored herself, which was greatâand she found that she still wanted to be with Sapphire. Thinking that it was a weakness of hers and a power of Roseâs, at first she lied to herself and pretended she didnât miss Sapphire.  Even when she admitted her feelings, she declared them âLame.â Many extroverts, like Ruby, are told their desire to be around people is weak. In real life, this toxic American Cultural framing of extroverts creates a lot of unnecessary shameâespecially in vulnerable queer extroverts.
Steven helps her realize that she can explore herself, love someone, make the independent choice to be with them, and have the will to ask questions together. Instead of making a clumsy absolute statement like Rose, Steven gently allowed Ruby re-affirm that loving and missing somebody is not a weakness if she still explores herself, and that all along Rose was irrelevant to her agency in who & how to love. They could independently agree to answer their own question.
Rubyâs proposal is SO beautiful because it is a wonderful celebration of how great relationships mesh compromise, independence, agency, and growth. Even more now, Ruby and Sapphire are a model of how when good relationships come up against challenges, and questions, it is the independence, agency, and respect of both members makes their agreed choices powerful acts of growth and love.
The wedding itselfâaside from being a groundbreaking moment for the LGBT communityâfurther underscored their optimal healthy outlook on themselves and their relationship. Queer rep is one thing; healthy queer rep is even more groundbreaking.
Ruby reaffirms how her independence coexists with her love.
Sapphire reaffirms how they DO change each other, and theyâll keep changing, asking, and answering: together.
And it was the most beautiful and relatable and GAY thing we will probably ever watch. The thesis of their relationship has become a self-actualized conclusion that ties in so well with the same conclusions we came to after 10 years of persevering through homophobia, through our neurodivergence, and through many changes.  It was so relatable to our own process and vows that weâre still crying off and on the day after watching. Weâre not only crying for us, but for the thousands of queer & neurodivergent young people who will see characters like them modeling a healthy and happy future together.
Look at how the butterflies (a symbol of thoughts, worries, and possibilities from Mindful Education)Â erupt from Garnet as they fuse. All those possibilities, worries, problems, and QUESTIONS are theirs to own, transform, triumph, and ANSWER.
The Question and The Answer were really theirs to have all along. And how that The Question and The Answer are Reunited and contextualized as Ruby and Sapphireâs, their relationship will be even stronger than ever.
All that said: I wonder if Garnet will start asking questions for the first time in 5600 years. Sugar did qualify in an interview, âThis version of Garnet doesnât ask questions.â Â
And as Ruby said, things will be different now.
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Check out my other Ruby Sapphire relationship essays:
Ruby and Sapphire: A Healthy Neurodivergent Relationship âWritten after Mindful Education
Sapphireâs and Rubyâs Reactions About Roseâs Secret Are In-Character. â A (now confirmed) Speculative/Theory piece after A Single Pale Rose.
Liked these essays? You can also listen to an LGBT Podcast I run with my wonderful Ruby  Wife. At Gay Breakfast Podcast we talk about all sorts of LGBT media and current events, and this week we did a show on every episode of SUâs bomb. Check it out!
Old episodes all free here.
New episodes all free now on iTunes.
We are (obviously queer) artists with some cute new interchangable linked fusion-dance charms and prints in Our Store.Â
Follow for content and updates on all of the above! Rupphire wedding fanart coming soon! Thank you!
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