the way i’m a drug addicted alcoholic homeless whore now like woahhhh me from 10 years ago would’ve never thought. this shit is so sad 😭

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@sintamaa
the way i’m a drug addicted alcoholic homeless whore now like woahhhh me from 10 years ago would’ve never thought. this shit is so sad 😭
i suck dick and get creampied now !!! not 12 anymore !!!!!
omg guysssss i haven’t logged into this account in years
my wife’s so cute because we both love animals so much but her way is very pure and genuine whereas my family is:
me, holding up my cat: stinky
wife: no!! don’t be mean!!!
me, swaying him back and forth in the air: stinky bastard man
wife: No!!!!!!!!
my mother, not looking up from chopping veggies: naughty boy. brat cat
wife, distraught: NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
commission for my dear pal @underfap
commission me
I’m so sick of villains doing their villain thing like torturing or killing characters while having classical music plays in the background. Why not play country or rap or fucking vocaloid when torturing others. Hatsune miku’s rolling girl playing in the background while you’re getting drugged is infinitely more terrifying than hearing Beethoven’s 5th
Cave in a Fantasy Setting: *exists*
Giant Spiders:
My salary is so shitty 😒
have you tried the bbq ranch chicken salad from Wendy’s?
OMG I THOUGHT THAT SAID SALAD
if you’re reading this
a lump sum of money is on the way to you
it happened today, damn that was like 3 days maybe?
It Works the money is on its way!
Need this.
Of course
me in public
thinking: if you can read my thoughts then hello
parades at disney: here’s a 40 foot tall mechanical dragon that actually breaths fire
parades at universal: y’all remember Hop(2011)?
Ight but you can openly drink and there are kiosks full of alcohol at Universal So Take ya pick
have fun dehydrating at the amusement park, you stupid shit
Disney has more accidents recorded than any other amusment park franchise ever :/
Meanwhile Universal has had only about 21 major incidents
Wow. The company that has had parks open for over 60 years on four different countries has had more recorded accidents than the company with three parks that have been open since the 90s.
amusement part discourse
id like to state for the record i didnt remember hop (2011) at all before this post
this post has everything… parade ratings… disagreements about day trip nourishment… flawed statistical analysis… hop (2011)…
“omg girls my crush is coming”
“what should we do”
“just act normal”
Gomez gives out better relationship advice than like 90% of dudes.
Gomez Addams is a suave motherfucker who loves his wife more than his own life.
Everyone should want a Gomez. He’s p cool.
Gomez and Morticia Addams actually have a very loving and extremely healthy relationship, both in the old TV show and in the more recent movies. They were also one of the first television couples to be shown to have an active (albeit offscreen) sex life. Their frank attitude towards sexuality was shocking in its’ time, but their relationship and their family dynamic is actually more functional and more…dare I say it…sane than most families portrayed on TV.
The comedy in the show came from the family’s “odd” lifestyle, rather than from infighting and petty bickering, or worse, as was common on other shows of the time, thinly veiled references to spousal abuse. They didn’t make fun of each other or act like their children were creatures from another world. Were they strange and outside of social norms? Yes. Were they united in creating a loving home and being good, supportive parents? Absolutely.
These two support and adore their children, care for an aging mother and an estranged brother, put family before everything, and they love each other, wholly, fiercely, without reserve. They are every bit as much in love after at least a decade of marriage as they were the day they met.
Relationship goals. LIFE goals.
Just remembered in the second movie when their third child became “normal” for a period and although they were shocked and didn’t know how to handle it, they didn’t mistreat the child or love it any less. They accepted the difference, even though it was hard for them.
Reblogged for truth.
❤️❤️❤️
Posts about Gomez and Morticia Addams are almost always uplifting and I’m happy to have them on my dash, but I think my favorite bit about this conversation is what Gomez is actually saying to Fester.
It’s nobody’s surprise that many of the aesthetic and thematic elements of The Addams Family in its various incarnations are influenced by Gothic tradition (not goth, that mostly came later. And not Goth, that was much much much too early), and I think Gomez’s words are a dead bullseye in terms of Gothic mentality.
“Make her feel like she’s the most sublime creature on earth”
The sublime is a recurring theme throughout Gothic literature. Although the word (like “awesome”) has lost a lot of it’s original luster over the intervening decades, sublime doesn’t really mean elevated and lofty (or even heavenly) as it’s often used today, but rather something possessing the power and grandeur to induce awe and veneration in the mind of the beholder. Although less than divine, something sublime possessed a wildness and power that transcended human ability to control…or even to comprehend.
Sublime is standing at the edge of the Grand Canyon leaning as far as you dare over the railing and still not being able to see the canyon floor below. Sublime is warrior-queen Galadriel being tempted by the One Ring. Sublime is waking up in the middle of the night in the heart of a wild thunderstorm.
“Make her feel like she’s the most sublime creature on earth”
Gomez isn’t advising Fester to treat a woman he fancies like a princess, or even elevate her to pedestal of angelic nature (who’s idea was it to equate femininity with purity anyway? What a laughable and historically damaging idea. Shame on whatever dead (probably) white dudes promoted that!)
Gomez is advising Fester that if he truly loves a woman he must do everything he can to remind her of how she’s an untameable force of nature who’s grandeur brings him to his knees in awe and terror. Just like Morticia, for Gomez.
I’ll sign off with one of my most favorite quotes of all time, because it feels suddenly very relevant:
“When I find myself surrounded by so much beauty, I feel as if I am the eye of a hurricane.”
- -Sanjay Kulkarni
❤️❤️❤️❤️
gen z culture is starting to quote a vine and then suddenly everyone in the room says it at the exact same time
my drug dealer cracks me up