Vivarium of Ships

Mourn the Pourn

[sirdeathsheadmoth]

My England experience

involved much more standing above dead people than i expected

[imprettyodd]

[tallish-hobbit]

[sirdeathsheadmoth]

I, for absolutely no reason: fervently attempt to subtly present myself as sexual being. 

[sailorbrazil]

[teen movie]

gay character: guys… im gay

pothead character: dude thats like, so dope

[helloitsbees]

[gendice]

no greek god is inherently and wholly “good” or “bad” because they were all flawed and imperfect in some way with different facets of personality and character to serve as a reflection of society and human nature itself  

[gendice]

oh except for zeus he was a straight up absolute bastard

[seven-oomen]

fuck zeus

[gendice]

do NOT. 

[artbytesslyn]

To the spiders in the ceiling corners: you’re keeping your end of the contract, love u honeys catch those tasty flies

To the spiders halfway down the wall and touchin my furniture: you’re on thin fucking ice babes

[trashcannie]

if you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to live in the midwest, this is it. 

[jasperzilla]

You missed some of the best ones

[dragonastra]

the best part about it is that the art installation isn’t actually called the Bean. It’s called Cloud Gate, and artist Anish Kapoor (yes, THAT Anish Kapoor) hates that we call it the Bean.

But i mean, look at it. It’s a bean.

[vashthestampedee]

How could you forget this one though

[akamine-chan]

I HAD NO FUCKING IDEA THAT THE BEAN WAS CREATED BY ANISH KAPOOR.

[solongstarbird]

someone help me why is anish kapoor important what did he do?

[gay-jesus-probably]

Alright sit down for some Art World Drama bcause this is what I live for.

So, sometime last year (?) science invented Vantablack, which is the darkest possible shade of black. Art world got incredibly excited. But as it needs to be very carefully made in a lab, it’s hard to get a hold of, and is extremely expensive. Enter Anish Kapoor, aka FuckFace McGee. Anish Kapoor buys the rights to Vantablack. He is the only human being on the planet that can legally use it, and he’s kind of a prick about it.

Art world is not thrilled with that.

Enter Stuart Semple.

Stuart Semple is an artist, and also makes pigments to sell in his free time. Stuart Semple is astoundingly pissed about this Vantablack nonsense, and Anish Kapoor’s dickery. Stuart Semple makes a new pigment, the brightest shade of pink ever, called Pinkest Pink, and puts it for sale on the internet. To be bought by everybody except Anish Kapoor. Literally, to purchase, you need to confirm that you are not Anish Kapoor, do not associate with him, and will not sell or give the pigment to Anish Kapoor or his associates. Art world has a good laugh, everyone buys Pinkest Pink because it’s awesome, and damn it we deserve something.

Anish Kapoor however is a penis, and will not take this lying down, because HOW DARE he not have literally everything.

Anish Kapoor gets his London associates to buy him a thing of Pinkest Pink, and being such a classy human being, posts a picture to instagram of him with his middle finger covered in Pinkest Pink, captioned with “Up yours. #pink”

Everyone flips shit, because. Y’know. Fuck that guy. Especially Stuart Semple. For context here, Anish Kapoor is one of the richest artists on the planet, and has repeatedly been referred to as everything wrong with the art world, and the epitome of the art worlds elitism problem. He’s a giant douchebag. Meanwhile Stuart Semple makes pigments just to get them out there. He turns 0 profit from his now enourmously popular pigments.

Stuart Semple launches an investigation as to who the fuck leaked Pinkest Pink, and plans to strike back. He does so by releasing two new products. First is Diamond Dust, which is a glitter made from glass, so that a painting is still visible after it’s applied, but glitters like a mofo. It’s the most reflective glitter out there, and is available to everyone who isn’t Anish Kapoor. And it being made of glass, if you stick your finger in there, it’s going to hurt quite a bit, so that was Stuart Semple’s way of saying “shove your middle finger in this, asshole, see what happens”. Except without saying that, because he can get an insult across while still being fucking classy.

He also releases Black 2.0, created with the help of over a thousand artists worldwide.

Black 2.0 is the answer to Vantablack. Black 2.0 is a slightly less black black, but looks functionally the same to the human eye. It’s completely safe, smells like cherries, and costs four pounds. Vantablack is highly toxic, potentially explosive, needs to be applied in a special laboratory and sealed properly, can’t be moved across borders, can reach 300 degrees celsius if you’re not extremely careful, and costs thousands of dollars. Anish Kapoor is the only human being who can use Vantablack. He is the only human being who cannot use Black 2.0.

So I think we can guess who got the better deal.

And thus the feud ends, Kapoor defeated.

…But not quite.

Kapoor, in this entire afair, has made exactly two comments to the public. The first being his charming message about aquiring Pinkest Pink, the second being claiming to Buzzfeed that he and his small army of lawyers will be suing Semple, an extremely poor artist who cannot afford a lawyer.

No lawsuit has been made yet, fyi.

The point is, Kapoor is a prick, and doesn’t like talking to the lower classes. So one day in July 2017, he decides he needs another floor on his London studio apartment, and starts making arrangements to have it built. His neighbors are fucking pissed, because this will ruin the light of their apartments. They call to Semple to save them, or at the very least piss Kapoor off some more.

Semple answers to the call, and releases two new paints, Phaze and Shift, as always, banned to Kapoor. They change colours, Phaze with temperature, and Shift is just iridescent. Shift needs to be painted over Black 2.0 to work, and Phaze just works on its own.

So that’s been the art world for the last two years.

Basically, get fucked Anish Kapoor your bean sucks and so does your vantablack.

[todayiwrotenothing]

Stuart Semple is organising a bean-kissing event for Anish Kapoor’s birthday.

[secretsfromwholecloth]

Reblogging for “By attending this event you confirm that you are not Anish Kapoor, you are in no way affiliated with Anish Kapoor, you are not attending on behalf of Anish Kapoor or an associate of Anish Kapoor. To the best of your knowledge, information, and belief this event will not be attended by Anish Kapoor.”

[queen-of-heck]

ALSO HE JUST POSTED THIS!!!!!! LIGHTEST LIGHT!

[extremedistressorstellarblowjob]

I know this isn’t my art blog but this entire post gives me life

[galahadiant]

im sorry is that man holding a real actual miniature star in his hands

[cat-vee-deactivated20240417]

Y’all missed the best part about the lightest light, called aptly ‘Lit’. This is from their product page:

[claydart]

Two things:

1. “Anish Kapoor is however a penis” is the best line in this post.

2. I wish to be half as petty and half as awesome as Stuart Semple

[speckled-light]

I hope Stuart Semple is making a lot of money. What a good person.

[0-memento-mori-0]

Go support him the paint’s are pretty cheap and you get the added bonus of being one of many to help piss off Anish Kapoor

[this-tragic-affair]

Charities/organisations to avoid:

PETA: They’d rather spend their money on publicity campaigns than on the animals in their care. PETA killed 73.8% of the animals in their care in 2015 (x)

FCKH8: Is a for-profit company that exploits oppressed groups for money. They’re also wildly uninformed, and spread misogyny, cissexism and bi/panphobia, as well as stealing their posts/designs (x)

Autism Speaks: They spend most of their money on researching a way to eliminate autism, heighten the stigma against autism and don’t have a single autistic person on their board (x)

Please support other, better charities, and feel free to add any others you can think of to this.

[tequila-tekaylah]

Susan G. Komen for the Cure: CEO makes insane amounts of money, they deny a lot of requests for wigs/help with treatment/etc., and have attempted to sue other charities that use the color pink as part of their anti-breast cancer campaign. ( x x x )

[reproductivejusticeandliberty]

The Salvation Army: They promote the hatred of LGBT+ people, work with fundamentalist Christian groups to support conservative politics and rip off and exploit workers. ( x x x )

[shitpost-senpai]

Wounded Warrior: They take money that should be spent on veterans and blow it on huge opulent parties for the company bigwigs. 26 million in 2014 alone wasted! ( x x x )

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

^ Important reminder to NOT waste any money donating to these groups

[ayellowbirds]

Reblogging because of the added info about Wounded Warrior.

[arch4ngel]

A good way to know if a nonprofit you’re donating to is allocating their money in the right way is to check out their Charity Navigator rating: http://www.charitynavigator.org

[darkbookworm13-deactivated20240]

Signal boosting, the bell ringers are out in force, and this info is too important.

[scaredpotter]

tbh the most unrealistic thing in harry potter is when mrs weasley in the first book asks “now what’s the platform number?”

like this woman has been going to that school for seven years and then dropped kids off on the same place for nearly ten like why on earth would she forget the platform number

[marauders4evr]

I still have the headcanon that Molly BAMF Weasley saw a scrawny underfed child with an owl who had no idea where he was going and looked lost and confused and was like, “Ah, yep, new son.” but didn’t want to scare him by outright approaching and asking if he needed help so she was just like, “MUGGLES, MUGGLES EVERYWHERE! DOES ANYONE KNOW WHAT THE PLATFORM NUMBER TO WIZARD SCHOOL IS? WHAT’S THAT? NINE AND THREE QUARTERS? OH, YES, THAT’S RIGHT. THE PLATFORM NUMBER IS   N I N E   A N D   T H R E E    Q U A R T E R S!”

Of course seeing as how Harry isn’t the most observant bloke, she probably ushered her kids past him fifty times as different ones screamed the platform number until they finally got his attention.

[moku-youbi]

Okay, I love this headcanon, but also, I’d like you to consider that some people might just have that much trouble remembering? Like, I’m not stupid by any stretch of the imagination, AND I have really good innate sense of direction. But when it comes to specific exits from the highway and things like that, I get super anxious and confused ALL the time. Even if they’re exits in MY TOWN. And I’m like “oh shit, which one is it???”

Also, I used to live in NYC and travel the subway on the daily and have that shit memorised, but now ten+ years later when I go back I’m constantly second guessing and having to double check. Add to that there might be multiple wizarding train platforms in that area, and bam!

So now you’re looking at a woman who’s been out of school at least 20 years, who only goes back there 2x a year, and you’re expecting her to remember a specific number out of potentially a lot. That’s like asking you to remember the address of the hotel you visit rarely.

[babooshka-yah-yah]

I keep thinking of elaborate art things I want to do this weekend but then I remember that I very nearly started crying this morning because getting dressed has so many steps

[babooshka-yah-yah]

Update: I painted The Worst Frog

[rakarchive-deactivated20191109]

once in elementary school i got a D on a test and i legitimately thought my parents were going to kill me so at recess we had a funeral and my friends picked me flowers and pieces of grass and let them blow away in the wind it was very dramatic i cried

[starlightandtears]

National Coming Out Day @ Me:

Me @ National Coming Out Day:

[starlightandtears]

Two years later. Still me.

[probably-voldemort]

When my cousin Olivia was three, she started preschool and became best friends with a boy named Abraham.  Most people called him Abe, even then, because Abraham is a mouthful for a three year old and, to most people, it’s the logical nickname.

Not, however, according to Olivia, who decided to nickname him Ham.

No one’s really sure whether she wasn’t totally listening when he was introduced and only caught the last part of his name, or if she decided Abe was too boring a nickname, or maybe she was just hungry, but the nickname has stuck for the last twenty years.  Of course, Olivia was and still is the only person to use it.

When they were seven or eight, he decided to get back at her by calling her Olive.  That nickname stuck, too, and they’ve been Olive and Ham since.  But only to each other.  They get highly offended if anyone else calls them that.

Last night was their seventh anniversary, and Abe proposed to Olivia, and she said yes.  And how did she announce it on Facebook, you may ask?

People used to tell me “If you like ham so much, why don’t you just marry it?”  So I am.

[probably-voldemort]

Shout out to Olive and Ham, who are still engaged and adorable and who are planning on getting married sometime next summer

[scripturient-manipulator]

Literally the only three things you need to know about Jane Austen

1. Her first major novel (Northanger Abbey) was written solely because she was so salty about how dramatic and cliche and formula Gothic novels were. You know what I mean. Every castle is foreboding. Every villain is awful but can’t bring himself to kill the heroine because she’s Too Pure. Every middle-aged female companion wants to do the heroine in. The heroine is Pure and Perfect and Is Good At Everything Young Women Should Be and recites quotes and/or the Bible whenever she’s in danger and that makes everything better. All butlers are evil. Jane Austen wrote a book specifically to go “THIS is how NORMAL people react to things!!!”

2. “She never changed her opinion about books or men”

3. “As a girl she wrote stories, including burlesques of popular romances” and you know what that means. Jane Austen started off writing smut fanfiction. If that’s not writing reassurement that you can be great no matter what you choose to write, I don’t know what is.

(Both quotes from the Penguin Classics version of Northanger Abbey)

[ikarimonster-deactivated2019032]

Lost sculpture needed back - please share!

I’m helping out a fellow Finnish artist who had a very unfortunate thing happen to her. A design shop called the Arctic Design Shop in Rovaniemi Finland sold her thesis work by accident and she needs it back!

The work was sold to an American girl who can have the sculpture back right after the maker has finished her thesis! She only needs it for the exhibition. The maker has asked if the shop has the buyers information but they don’t.

Please spread this and contact the email if you have any information about the whereabouts of the statue!

[unclefather]

[airearthandsunfire]

Writer’s Blessing

May your stories be a doorway to another world of your own (or your collaboration’s) creation, so that one day it transports you-and one day your readers-to this fascinating place that you have already begun pouring your heart and soul, your very essence into.

So it is written, so let it be;

For writers like you, and writers like me.