Hi everyone! I'm writing this for the two people who might follow this blog still, wahaha. 🙀
So... I didnt know how to write this, but I needed to get it out of my chest somehow. Something happened about ten days ago. I won't go into details, but I felt really bad, like I was worthless. I tried to end it all, silly me, and I failed, of course.
I've had a lot of consequences for myself lately, both physical and mental, because of my decision. The medication I used left me uncoordinated for days on end, and unable to use my hands for several more. I honestly thought I'd never be able to use my hands properly after this. I cried a lot. I didn't go to a hospital, and I think that's why my body is eliminating it so slowly. It's been a difficult few days for me, because life keeps going and I have to! keep! breathing! and working! and smiling!
Maybe because of the medication, I've been thinking about horrible things from the past lately that I didn't really want to remember, and that makes me feel worse. I get heart palpitations suddenly, or I feel incredibly exhausted and sad the next. Or I cry without reason.
I can't concentrate. It's my last year of university, and I feel like I can't handle the world.
I'm rambling. I'm sorry. What I mean is, I'm so glad I've regained control of my fingers. There will be some drawings here again. I know the quality isn't the best, and I'm also really disappointed to be so... limited, in my work, but it makes me happy to draw something that I think looks good. Please, everyone, take good care of yourselves. Drink plenty of water. Talk to your loved ones! And really enjoy the things you love. The Silmarillion is very special to me in that aspect. It keeps me going even when everything looks dark in front of me. I love all the artwork you talented people do! Makes me happy and warm. 🌼
If you have any words of encouragement for silly me, they would be very welcome. Or I don't know. I'm rambling again. I love you all so much if you've read this far.
"Tears unnumbered ye shall shed; and the Valar will fence Valinor against you. To evil end shall all things turn that they begin well".
"Ecthelion turned his gaze toward the window and tried not to think about Maedhros’ wrenching scream, his shaking limbs, the hollow look in his face — like a light dropping down a well, down, down, down, never to be seen again.
There had barely been enough left to bury."
First time using gouache¿? It's that whats is called I think. 😭 Nelyo is HAUNTED by Fingon.
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