My Sister Is Nutty And I Wanted To Share

INTJ run. Erin is the ENFP sister. Random quotes and anecdotes.

[sisterofanenfp]

Me.

Enfp, viewing the staged skinning of a pig on TV

[sisterofanenfp]

What the heck. I just drew Michael Jackson.

Enfp, who apparently did Not intend to draw Michael Jackson...

[sisterofanenfp]

Frisbee tips

Intj: "Y'know, even bad throws can be salvaged.."

Enfp: "Yes but I'm not a junkyard."

[sisterofanenfp]

INTJ 1, not as tired as INTJ 2: come along pond

INTJ 2, pretty much drunk from sleep deprivation: is all I am a body of water to you now?...actually now that I think about it we're all bodies of water...

INTJ 1: NO. STOP. INTJ, IT'S TOO EARLY FOR THIS.

[sisterofanenfp]

I wish I was a hedgehog. That way I wouldn't have to wear a backpack.

Enfp siser

[sisterofanenfp]

Some men are like cicadas; they become as loud and obnoxious as possible in order to get your attention, then they shed their skin and die.

Enfp (now 11), on the subject of attraction.

[sisterofanenfp]

*Me, rummaging in bag while sitting in backseat with ENFP and ENTP*

INTJ (19,driving): Are you guys popping pills back there? ;)

ENFP (11): lol yes

ENTP and me: *snorts*

INTP in front seat, 17: ...what does that mean??

INTJ: how do you not know what that means?? XD INTJ, did you know what that means?

Me: yup

INTJ 1: ENTP, do you know what that means?

ENTP: yup loool

INTP: ...wait. Does it mean doing drugs?

Entire car: YES

Me: even ENFP, who's only eleven knew what that meant!

INTJ: yes, well she lives with you.

ENTP: *losing it*

ENFP: guilty as charged

[sisterofanenfp]

Enfp: What flavor is this tea supposed to be?

Me: idk, blackberry dreams or some pretentiousness.

Enfp: oh THAT'S why it tastes like white people.

[sisterofanenfp]

Enfp *huffily states*: absolutely nothing you do influences me.

*proceeds to be obsessed with the exact same fandoms as me, copies my dress style, even her crush looks almost exactly like my boyfriend*

[benvulio]

[stonersweater]

ENFPs hidden side

Everyone tends to know ENFPs as the “I LOVE UNICORNS AND RAINBOWS XD” type. And while them leaning on their Ne is often this, it’s not all of them. No one ever documents the fierce loyalty (Fi) or the sassiness (Te) that ENFPs so often possess. As someone who’s included behind an ENFPs Ne barrier, I feel like I can share.

She is literally the most loyal person I have ever met. She might not ever say anything to your face, but if you disrupt her morals, she gets MAD. And being one of her “chosen”, I get to hear her rant. Very passionately. Very very passionately. Please don’t upset her. You don’t understand what I end up dealing with.

Her Te comes out less frequently than either of the first two, for obvious reasons. But when it does, it’s typically subdued and something trivial to bother me with, like “Lydia, stupid, salsa goes with lunch not breakfast!!” And then she’ll continue to eat the salsa with me.

I think her Te combined with her Ne is what makes her so sassy as well. Once again, you have to be on the ENFPs inside circle for it to come out, but they have so much attitude. For example, an actual conversation we had:

Me: *talking about babysitting* what time is it again?

ENFP: it’s 6:42 you diphthong

ENFP: it starts tomorrow at 6

Me: you’re so mean. So the plan is for me to hang out at yours until then? ENFP: yeah unless you would rather stay at home being bored without me

It’s a unique brand of sassiness even I can’t always capture

ENFPs are some of my very very favorite types. Considering I also share the dominate Ne, both of us often feel like “someone finally gets me! Someone can follow my unabashed thoughts!!!” But it really bothers me that no one seems to say anything about their deeper side. So here you go!

[huenil-deactivated20170806]

Your INTJ Unit User Survival Guide and Manual

Thanks to @intpboard for letting me do this, taking no credit for this idea as it was her’s.

CONGRATULATIONS! You have been deemed worthy by the Ni gods to receive your very own INTJ unit! This INTJ comprehensive user survival guide and manual will detail every necessary step in order to take care for your INTJ. N-n-n-not that they need taking care of @.@ *INTJ silently lowers the gun pointed at the back of the presenters head*

Your INTJ unit will come with the following accessories:

Two (2) everyday outfits

Three (3) sets of assorted lab coats and hazmat gear

One (1) personal library for all their reading needs

One (1) Underground laboratory, tailored to your INTJ’s tastes.

Two (2) Permits for experimentation, one on animals, the other on… you know what why don’t you ask INTJ yourself. I’m sure they’d like to show you all of it (unless you like random stitch marks on your body, stay away from their lab o.o)

One (1) Locked box of feels. (It is the kryptonite to their sadistic superman, do not return this to them at any cost, this is your only leverage against them)

One (1) Key to locked box of feels. Sadly all INTJ units have been damaged and have either lost this item or refuse to hand it over to (you) the user.

One (1) Super computer for all their, uhhh, gaming needs! Yeah… gaming needs, no hacks here, no sir.

One (1) Personal robot assistant calibrated specifically to your INTJ’s wavelength. (OH GOD IT’S GLaDOS, RUUUUUNNN!)

Software aka. similarities to skynet:

Your INTJ unit comes pre-programmed with the following characteristics:

Ni: Your INTJ unit will have a knack for viewing matters in as many perspectives as possible in order to get the best possible outcome. This means your INTJ unit will be driven to best create their vision of the future. (hint. it involves total political reign of the populace.

Te: Your INTJ will strive to look for more efficient and pragmatic solutions from the logic found in their surroundings.Unless they are surrounded by idiots in which case they’ll try to find a quiet spot for their work.

Fi: (See locked box of feels and key for locked box above) This is your INTJ’s hub for personal morals and values. This function is here to keep your INTJ true to itself, and is designed to help them deal with their emotions, that they often ignore due to Ni-Te.

Se: Your INTJ’s subconscious awareness of their surroundings. This function is rarely used actively as all INTJ units have had faulty Se software installed, making them really particular about their surroundings while simultaneously horrible with spatial awareness.

Getting Started:

To boot up your INTJ unit:

Place INTJ in the middle of their personal library (provided), if possible between the Nietzsche and Machiavelli section.

Leave the INTJ for at least 30 minutes to absorb information through osmosis.

Intentionally say a factually incorrect statement, most INTJ unit’s should activate immediately

If step 3 failed, threaten to reprogram GLaD- uhhh, the personal robot assistant to deliver cuddles. If all else fails threaten to cuddle INTJ.

Appease the INTJ with a warm cup of coffee and have them activate their personal robot assistant. Appeasing process may take longer depending on how long it took to activate the INTJ unit.

Engage in an intellectual debate in order for the INTJ to calibrate itself to your presence

Your INTJ unit should now be active!

Modus Operandi:

Shut in nerd: (Default): The default setting for INTJ, will want to research day and night on their topic of choice. Will work fervently to keep their locked box of feels locked, do not approach with feels. Do engage with personal theories to pique their Te.

Megalomaniac: (Optional) E-mail or call us at least a week before ordering your INTJ unit and we can uninstall the classic I-want-to-conquer-the-world-cause-I-know-what-is-best.

Gilgamesh Complex: (Optional) The Gilgamesh complex in which you INTJ unit will believe that everything in this world already belongs to them. THat they are simply here to reclaim what is rightfully theirs. Users most commonly install this in conjunction with Megalomaniac.

Unlocked box of Feels: (*New* open beta) *UNTESTED SOFTWARE UPDATE* This version of of the INTJ OS is a patch to fix the issue of the fact that all INTJ units are incapable of cooperating when in concerns to the keys of the box of feels. If you would like to download the Unlocked box of Feels patch please contact us. This patch of INTJ offers a more vocal INTJ when it concerns to how they feel, please do give the INTJ unit to process their emotions as the introspection speed is still a point of contest.

*please keep in mind* The OS update is only available to those who have had their INTJ over a long period of time, to the point where you are a welcome aspect in INTJ’s world. Unsure if you qualify? Simply ask your INTJ!

LOL LET’S DO EVERYTHING SE WANTS TO DO: (Locked) *WARNING* Your INTJ unit will only enter this mode when under extreme stress, please keep an appropriate distance in order to steer clear of any harmful shenanigans INTJ can get into, but close enough where you are still able to comfort INTJ.

Relationships with other Units:

An Unhealthy INTJ Unit: You agree with me? = We’ll get along fine

                                      You disagree with me?= You’re dumb get away.

A Healthy INTJ Unit:

NT: Their squad, INTJ’s will feel comfortable bouncing off ideas to the fellow NT’s while not having to wrry about feels getting in the way. However they could find XNTP’s lack of drive appalling and fellow XNTJ’s a threat to their plan for world domination.

NF: The abstraction squad, perfectly capable of bouncing off any though that passes through their head and amplifying it to something coherent. Though this process does work inversely as well so keep an eye out for this. INTJ may feel off put by the use of feels, so it is recomended that INTJ only hangs around NF’s for a moderate amount of time in order to get the maximum benefit form them.

SJ: The hit or miss squad, really all there is to it. They have enough in common to be able to hit it off but just enough differences to make them hate one another. Sometimes both at once. We reccomend you ease your INTJ into relationships with SJ’s as they will need time to sort out how they feel about them.

SP: The swuad that leaves INTJ’s in wonder. Furthest from their view on the world, INTJ’s could view SP’s as a challenge to overcome. Just be careful that your INTJ unit doesn’t injure themselves while hanging out with high Se users.

Sustenance:

Contrary to what your INTJ will want to have you believe, your INTJ unit will need a steady supply of nutrients in order to remain active. Your INTJ may be too preoccupied to notice that they’re hungry. If this is the case deliver food directly in front of the INTJ during normal meal times. Though avoid placing food on top of INTJ’s work as that is a sure fire way to piss them off.

Grooming:

Your INTJ unit has a high chance to not see the point in “appearing presentable” to others and will appear disheveled at best. Do not fret as the INTJ unit will see no point as to be unhygienic and will take care of themselves in that aspect of life. Bribes may be necessary in order to get the INTJ to dress up nicely for any sort of occasion. Making threats to an INTJ unit is not recommended except for starting up the INTJ as INTJ will remember all threats.

Sleeping habits: Your INTJ is expected to have a very lose sleeping schedule in case they suddenly need to pull an all nighter. This is normal behavior; as long as you supply INTJ with overnight snacks then all should be well as they will see no reason to wake you.

FAQ:

My INTJ unit has suddenly walled itself away from me and is visibly distressed, what do i do?

If you notice that your INTJ unit is distressed or “caught the feels” and starts separating themselves from you, do not worry. This is a normal process for the INTJ as it uses this time to sort out their feelings and issues. If your INTJ unit is stressed or “caught the feels” and has not started this process, encourage them to do so. This process is necessary to keep an INTJ unit healthy.

My INTJ unit just asked me to take over the world with them?!??!! Wha- How is this even a valid question?

If the INTJ unit feels close enough to the user they may entrust more and more responsibility onto the user. The levels of trust generally are:

You may talk to me

You may watch me work

You may work with me

You may watch my inevitable rise to power

You may help me rise to power

Co-rule the world with me

It is very rare for any soul to reach step 7 as you have, so treat the matter seriously and with every ounce of respect that you can muster. Screw this up and you could ruin your relationship with INTJ forever. Play your cards right and you may find yourself co-ruler of the world.

What does this big red button do?

INTP NO DON’T PRESS THA-

Again, CONGRATULATIONS on acquiring your new INTJ unit.

[naughty-nanny]

Your ENFP Care and Handling User Guide and Manual

This manual is part of a series of guides originated by @intpboard

Congratulations! You have found yourself in possession of your own unique ENFP unit. There is a high likelihood that your ENFP found you, but regardless of how you got to this point, you are now responsible for your very own ENFP to love and enjoy! Since ENFPs are notoriously difficult to handle, your SJ overlords have issued this guide to hopefully help along the way.

Your ENFP will come with the following accessories:

One (1) Starter pack of moral convictions

One (1) Unique starter outfit chosen specifically for your unit

One (1) Normal socially acceptable outfit (use only if necessary)

One (1) Set of puppy-dog eyes for use when your unit senses an emotional disturbance in another unit that is resistant to sharing

Three (3) Companion Introvert Units for emotional tending and deep conversation

Infinite (∞) Ideas and Possibilities

One (1) Internet accessible device for research binging

One (1) self replenishing coffee cup

One (1) Starter pack of idiosyncratic behaviors

Software

Your ENFP comes pre-programmed with the following traits;

Ne: Your ENFP is a functional walking idea generator. While this trait does make your ENFP susceptible to distraction and excitement, this programming accounts for the exceptionally high levels of optimism included with your unit. Your ENFP will have constantly changing hobbies, interests and ideas. This function can only be disabled through sensory hyper stimulation (see Si).

Fi: While seemingly constantly happy and excited, your ENFP has many deeply held values and feelings. This function can be activated my asking your ENFP unit how they are feeling and silently listening to what follows.

Te: Your ENFP will not only seek new ideas, but will also seek to be deeply informed about those ideas. When this function is activated via the Fi function, an bitch slap mode may be activated

Si: Your ENFP is prone to random bouts of sentimentality and a preference for familiar sensory experiences. When directly activated this function can overwhelm Ne resulting in uncharacteristic stubbornness.

Getting Started

Your ENFP unit should arrive pre-activated and highly animated. In case your ENFP has not been activated please complete the following; 1. Place ENFP in social setting 2. Place 1-3 included introverts within visible distance 3. Wait 30 seconds

4. If after 30 seconds your ENFP unit has not activated causing an introvert to cry will immediately activate ENFP’s caring mode.

Modes

Manic Pixie (default) - Attention span disabled and energy levels maximum. In this mode your ENFP will be rapidly seeking out new ideas, opportunities, concepts and possibilities while simultaneously trying to understand and participate. This mode does have a limited use, but no way to know when it is nearly depleted.

Existential Teddybear (default) - Speaking function reduced to existential lines of questioning. When Manic Pixie mode has depleted, this mode automatically activates. Primary mode in small groups of introverts.

Caring - Activated by the presence of another unit with feelings that need to be processed. Difficult to deactivate unless activating unit has been emotionally supported and/or helped. Often involves invasive and insightful and accurate statements articulating what other units are feeling.

Bitch Slap - Activated by both obvious social injustices and direct violation of a personal value. Detailed, irrefutable, empirical evidence articulated to show that another unit has acted objectively immoral. When this mode is active your ENFP will painfully spell out exactly why you are wrong.

Emo - Activated seemingly randomly by a large influx of emotion that your ENFP unit must withdraw and analyze in order to understand and integrate. occurs approximately one (1) out of every fifteen (15) days. Completion of this mode is often signaled by your ENFP unit announcing it has learned something new about itself.

Productive (locked) - Only unlocks under intensely high interest levels or stress. Produces a staggering amount of material in a short amount of time.

Relationship With Other Units

In general, your ENFP unit will be liked by most other units it comes into contact with.

NF: Often activates Existential Teddybear mode. Can come into conflict if values conflict.

NT: Activates both Existential Teddybear and Bitch Slap mode. Also activates caring mode, but covertly.

SJ: Generally well accepted in Manic Pixie mode and viewed with amusement. SJ units will naturally remind your ENFP unit to tend to their physical well being, which they often forget.

SP: Compatible primarily in Manic Pixie mode. Warning: Leaving your ENFP unit alone with one or more SP units will likely result in trying really bad ideas.

Feeding

Your ENFP unit will need to be fed regularly. Your ENFP unit is capable of constant snacking as well as completely forgetting to eat. Your ENFP unit will not die if left to fend for it’s own food, but the consistency and healthiness of that diet would likely not be good. Your ENFP simply needs to be reminded to eat on a regular basis and provided with a few healthy options to choose from.

Grooming

Your ENFP will also need to be reminded to groom on a regular basis. Your ENFP will automatically groom if trying to present a good impression, but regular maintenance requires outside diligence. 

Sleeping

Your ENFP will try to argue that sleep is unnecessary. Do not give in no matter how convincing the argument is. Just repeat that sleep is good until ENFP begins to slow down and tiredness sets in. If ENFP continues to resist, take away all entertainment sources.

Frequently Asked Questions

Why doesn’t my ENFP ever finish anything?

Your ENFP unit comes equipped with dominant Ne. As with all things, this requires a trade off. In the case of your ENFP unit, Ne allows it to produce many ideas and start many projects, but does not extend to completion. Upgraded ENFP units with integrated Si are more capable of completion, but even then your unit will always start more than they finish. 

Help! I turned around for a second and now I’ve lost my ENFP!

Your ENFP is most likely not lost, simply distracted. It is common for ENFP units to be easily distracted and immediately pursue that distraction. Just keep doing whatever you were doing and your ENFP unit will find it’s way back to you eventually and will have an exciting story to tell you when it does. If your ENFP goes missing for an extended period of time it is possible that you have accidentally activated ENFP’s fear of commitment. In this case, provide your ENFP with a heartfelt communication via phone or email. Your ENFP will at that point most likely return to at least discuss what caused them to leave.

How do I turn this thing off?

You don’t. There is no off switch on your ENFP unit. If you find your ENFP overwhelming, simply tell them you need some time to yourself and your ENFP unit will happily find someone else to annoy in the mean time.

Can I keep my ENFP? Yes. ENFP units frequently form companion bonds for life, but any attempts to limit your ENFP unit’s freedom to explore and pursue what interest them will result in resistance and likely resentment from your ENFP. ENFP units must be shared freely otherwise they are likely to rebel against their captors owners.

Again, Congratulations on your new ENFP unit! Go have fun and explore!

[sisterofanenfp]

Yeah [friend] could totally narrate my life as a bird.

[a-very-optimistic-realist]

The founder of tumblr is David Karp eh?

Well Karpe diem dude

[sisterofanenfp]

The fridge giggled.

[a-very-optimistic-realist]

She must be a detective, and followed the clues there. The fridge only laughed cause it knew she was working on a cold case.

[sisterofanenfp]

HAHAHAHA PERFECT

[artblog-of-intp]

Where are my enchanting ENFP-followers? I need to know you! If you’re an Mbti-blog I’ll gladly follow you!

[played-a-fiddle-in-an-irish-band]

Same here, reveal yourself ENFPs

[numberoneintjfangirl]

Hi. :3

[aali-way-deactivated20160325]

Hello!

[sisterofanenfp]

Yoooooo