Parker❤️

He/Him

[a-kind-of-merry-war]

oh we are never getting out of the learned helplessness cycle are we gang

[a-kind-of-merry-war]

the only person responsible for you is yourself. this means it is entirely on you to:

check the tags on fic

block people/tags that cause you distress

look up trigger warnings for shows/movies/books

if you cannot find warnings, or something hasn't been tagged, make a decision for yourself as to if you proceed or not

register when something is causing you distress, and stop consuming that thing

If you have a severe nut allergy and are given a snack you've never tried before, you ask what the ingredients are. If you eat it without checking and have a reaction, that's on you, not the stranger who gave it to you who has no idea what you're allergic to.

[danoree-deactivated20251116]

they have socks on it doesnt count 🙏

[xnyu09]

despite everything, it’s still you.

[ciricearts]

jason with sylvanian families bunnies for bev's prompt<3

[dia-viller]

Yeah.....

I miss his Red Robin era

[cbartonscoffee]

I'm reading RR right now so I wanted to add some I've found:

[shyjusticewarrior]

Defense of Jason Todd

Your honor, my client was in his reputation era.

Your honor, his brothers already took parentified child and adultified child. Problem child was all that was left at that point.

Your honor, my client has what is called "the Cain instinct."

Your honor, everyone has wanted to kick Tim Drake's ass. As I will demonstrate this with my list of witnesses: Selina Kyle, Damian Wayne, flashpoint Thomas Wayne, Harley Quinn, and future Batman Tim.

Your honor, my client was raised by Batman.

Your honor, the fandom also wants Joker dead.

Your honor, my client was standing on business.

Your honor, my client was serving cunt.

[austintoya]

I'm happy because some people still ask me for Jason Todd commissions ^^

So here's the last one :)

[stinson-png-deactivated20210103]

“Girls want a Superman, but they walk past a Clark Kent every day”

You fuckin CLOWNS think you’re a CLARK KENT? Not on my fuckin watch. You dumb, headass motherfuckers are barely a Guy Gardner and you think you’re a CLARK KENT? The amount of disrespect is unreal.

[bairnsidhe]

Listen here, wannabes: My boi Clark is 240 lbs of PURE KANSAS BEEF trained from a young age by Ma Kent to Love and Respect women as the Intelligent, Independent beings they are.  He is shy rambling about tractors and casually moving the copy machine when my pen falls behind it and he would NEVER demand I be sexually or romantically interested just because he’s nice.

Y’all ain’t Clark Kent.

[chaosinacoffeecup]

I have never hit the reblog button so damn fast.

[therobotmonster]

“barely a Guy Gardner” is the sickest comics related burn I’ve heard to date. 

[icantseepurple]

Late night thought.

You know how when you need to put a cat down you can kinda just gentle toss them. And that sometimes people who are use to holding cats then hold a dog and forget that you can't really do the same thing for them. So they end up just throwing a dog. I would like to imagine that was what it was like for Bruce to go from having Dick as a child to Jason.

Bruce main experience with children would be this little acrobat who would just jump/flip out of his arms and honestly enjoyed the extra momentum of the toss when being put down. So that's just how he is use to releasing kids when carrying them. But then he has Jason, and is holding him and they have a cute moment, but then by instinct he throws Jason, and Jason just thumps to the ground. And both of them are staring at each other with confusion.

[cannibalchicken]

[trash-soup]

Ah yes, the Aborvid (abortion corvid)

[adreamfromnevermore]

Love the slight AUs where Bruce as Batman has been a member of the league for ages, but he's somehow managed to keep his assortment of children under the radar.

Because it sets up the wildest misunderstandings within the league. He routinely talks about his babies, his children who are all so sweet and kind and occasionally assholes yes but only because they are young (and traumatized) hell I don't think the league would even be aware that they're adopted. So they're all thinking literal children

Barry: Bats really loves his kids.

Hal: I mean they're babies, wait till they hit the angsty teens and I'm sure we'll be hearing the opposite

Which means the day they finally meet Nightwing they don't know wtf to think. For one thing, how old would he have been when he had this kid???? Should they be worried about that???? And for the other, that is not a baby, that is not a precious little thing.

He could break someone in half. Like a twig.

He won't, but he could. And they can see that. (He's bat trained, they have seen what the bat can do they are not fools)

And they're like, okay. Okay maybe he isn't the baby (he is). He's got younger kids right? He's never said how many, they have 0 clues. They've been expecting 1 child, maybe 2 because he'd said kid in the plural exactly once when comforting an older woman while they were searching for her children in the aftermath of a rough battle.

And then a week later they run into Red Hood. In his leather, with his guns. And he drapes himself across Batmans back with all the self confidence in the world and starts whining about the "Brat" breaking into his safe house.

To steal his dog.

And yet again. He is not baby. He is bigger than Batman. He could probably break Batman in half given the bat didn't put up a fight. But Batman looks at him with probably the softest expression they've ever seen on that mans face and tells him very earnestly that the kid just wants to spend time with his older brother, next time they should try a walk. Maybe go to the zoo.

But probably not one of the babies. They're kind, and gentle, and at least one just loves reading and Bats has been trying to encourage that!!!

And then a day later he mentions his "babies" going for a walk in the park and they all instantaneously lose their minds at the confirmation.

[tomcruisingthroughlife]

[phoenixofthestars]

the circle is completed

[ditzybat]

bruce: he’s killed people

damian [who’s heard stephanie say this at least 10x a day]: but have you considered that maybe he’s just a teenage girl?

jason: yeah! have you considered that bruce?!

bruce: jason, you’re 22 and a male

[begaycommittreason-deactivated2]

out of context things heard in wayne manor:

bruce: i understand, but pretending you cooked jerry the turkey is not a proportionate response to damian calling you a peasant again

————————

jason: look there’s a right way and a wrong way to make food. there’s also the bruce way, which is the wrong way except faster and worse

duke: *frantically scribbling notes*

————————

tim: do you think our relationship was kinda like incest now?

steph, horrified: never open your mouth in my presence again timothy

————————

dick: so then he’s like—guys. guys are you seriously signing about me in front of my face. i learned it too—hey i do NOT have a butt chin take that back—

————————

damian: i don’t understand, why does he wear such a ridiculous hat? is it like that margaret poppins woman grayson showed me?

tim, who watched the live action cat in the hat too much as a kid and is about to violently infodump: well you see-

dick: oh god it’s too late

jason: yeah the brats on his own for this one i’m not fucking dealing with that again

————————

bruce: are you lying?

tim: always. anyway, like i was saying—

————————

steph: hey what’s up with you and all the redheads

dick: …i’m not discussing this with you

steph, starting to chase him: gingervitus is a serious affliction! you cant run from this

dick, sprinting away: yes the fuck i can

————————

duke: so is anyone gonna talk about the elephant in the room…

dick:

dick: look i was feeling sentimental and zitka jr. really isn’t any trouble

damian: she is magnificent

————————

tim: so i dropped out and

duke: wait we can drop out of high school??!!?

bruce: NO.

duke: please bruce ap biology is beating my ass right now

jason: nah tim just got to drop cause bruce was dead and he’s a loser. the real problem is what you’re reading in ap lit right now, because i have thoughts on that curriculum—

duke: i’m not even gonna use half that material in the real world

tim: actually most of our villains have PhDs so their plans are based on pretty real science

duke: not helping timothy

————————

cass, signing: why are brothers on the ceiling?

jason: tims in timeout from working on his caseload

cass, still confused: yes but why taped to the ceiling

duke: listen if you know a better way of restraining his psycho ass then i’m all ears

cass: and damian?

jason: oh he saw this as free range target practice so he had to go up there too

cass: they are plotting revenge up there

duke: think of it as brotherly bonding

————————

damian: it’s not my fault he got in the way

bruce: you threw an eclair at lex luthor

damian: i was aiming for drake

tim: bruce we can’t take him anywhere

dick, holding back laughter: timmy you paid four separate people to come to the gala solely to ask lex if they could use his head to see if they had something in their teeth

tim: you have no proof that was me

————————

duke: look steph, it’s not that we don’t want to help with this

jason: i don’t want to help

duke: it’s more that i don’t think we can physically fit that many people in a shopping cart, and your whole plan kind of hinges on that

————————

alfred: i’m not mad, just disappointed in you.

every batkid, near tears: sorry alfred

————————

jason: HE HAD DIPLOMATIC IMMUNITY AS THE FUCKING WHAT—

bruce: listen—

tim, mouth full and brain empty: the ambassador to iran. crazy right?

dick: tim please

[a-daks]

canon: they died

fanfic: fUCK YOU

[andordean]

Canon: and so they never met

Fanfic: here’s a funny story

[namesonboats]

Canon: There was tension and pining, but they never even kissed.

Fanfic: Actually,

[kaeltale]

Canon: Torture the cinnamon roll.

Fanfic: Torture the cinnamon roll.

[conversationswithjohnlock]

Canon: When they traveled they stayed in separate rooms

Fanfic: AND. THERE. WAS. ONLY. ONE. BED!!!!!

[caressthosecheekbones]

Canon: … and they were roommates.

Fanfic: oh my god, they were roommates…

[johanirae]

Canon: They were international assassins who assassinated assassins.

Fanfic: But hot DAMN wait till you hear about this cafe they opened

[jenroses]

Canon: They had a coffeeshop

Fanfic: but they were ASSASSINS

[pizzapopolis]

Canon: they were mortal enemies and attempted to murder each other on multiple occasions

Fanfic: bUT THEY GOT MARRIED AND ADOPTED CHILDREN

[robbyrobinabitch]

Everytime I reblog this has a new addition and it’s the best

[inkpotter-deactivated20211125]

Canon: They were straight

Fanfic: Lol

[boxofsoap]

THE LAST ONE IS THE BEST ONE

[meggiebrick]

I love fanfic so so so much.

[sweetteaa19]

Canon: Am I joke to you?

[ursulaismymiddlename]

Fanon: No, just a disappointment.

[r-evolve-art]

I wasn’t going to reblog then the last line killed me.

[solar-wing]

Canon: they’re the quirky, goofy sidekick that everyone loves

Fanfic: they’re the main character

[androxys]

Has everyone seen this Nightwing and Red Robin short? Please everyone watch this Nightwing and Red Robin short. Tim's little grin. Dick's scorecard and Tim's pout. Dick tugging Tim's cape. This is everything.

[stormy-skyzzzzzz]

ate and left no crumbs. I swear Alfred is the most iconic batfamily member.