I dismiss promiscuous misses

My name is Colleen, some people call me Spoon.

[anxietyproblem]

[thebootydiaries]

[beeefy]

i just heard my mum say ‘you are very naughty’ and then a meow and then another softer ‘okay but next time there will be consequences’ and then another meow and then a ‘you’re right probably not’ 

[afairfight]

The contrast between Tan’s mantra and the rest of the Fab 5’s mantras is sending me.

[rainbowrowell]

Everyone else: 💖👍🏼🌈🙏🏼

Tan: You could try trying.

[books-in-order]

[unicornempire]

I’m so glad that this person was willing to take a picture before literally taking the spraying water out of their house. Bless you. 

[githvyrik]

people who hate chatty cats are the worst like. your small friend is singing a song just for you! they have things to say! listen to them

[mightyriot-deactivated20200122]

[janeplease]

Due to secret reasons, I will be unable to join

[gatta-cicova]

[un-rare-deactivated20151106]

hey mom my friends are here, ill be back later

[ghostextremist]

my favorite tweet of all time is the ma’am is your baby unwell one it’s literally s o f u n n y

[ghostextremist]

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]

[purewhiteloversbizarrejelly]

[biyaself]

[thehauntingofomashu]

Not to sound too millennial but who the fuck would get off a plane (to their dream job in Paris) for Ross fucking Geller

[violentwavesofemotion-deactivat]

Bertolt Brecht, from Poems: 1913-1958; “Standing Orders for the Soldiers,”

[memesandlaughs]

[skiingspoon]

M

[with-drops-of-jupiter]

I C A N N O T breathe

[wdwpres-deactivated20190130]

THAT LAST LIKE .01 SECOND

[communistbakery-deactivated2017]

OH MY G OD

[great-tweets]

bYE

[one-time-i-dreamt]

I agreed to draw this random guy’s fursona. I finished the art completely and in turn asked for payment, but he only wanted to pay the originally agreed upon $15 even though he changed his mind several times (added several elements and wanted it paint shaded instead of flats etc.) and it ended up being a $45 commission by the end.

He kept refusing to pay, and brought a friend like a hype man to further insist that I was being a jerk by demanding compensation for my hard work. He had an app on his phone where I was supposed to enter the amount of the commission, so I made the price $30 and added several additional lines to the invoice including a “piece of sh*t” charge, a “I’m never drawing for you again” charge, and a “f*ck you” charge.

He almost payed it without looking, but eventually did and flipped out, calling me a scam artist and saying he was gonna call his mom.

So I beat the absolute hell out of him and his friend outside a Jack-in-the-Box restaurant.