Skip- that damn -Repeat

[insidiouspen]

[arguablysomaya]

Jason: I think I’m coming down with something. I’ve been so nauseous lately

Dick, seriously: Maybe you’re pregnant

*they sit there in silence for a moment*

Jason: I don’t know who’s the bigger idiot. You for suggesting that, or me because I almost had a panic attack

[incorrectbatfam]

Tim: Which one of you was going to tell me that tea tastes different if you put it in hot water?

Barbara: You were putting it in cold water?

Cassandra: Tim. Answer the question, Tim.

Tim: Yeah? I though for, like, five years that people just put it in hot water to speed up the tea-ification process. Didn't realize there was an actual reason. You think I have the patience to boil water, what the fuck???

Duke: You don't have the patience to microwave water for three minutes?

Damian: Why are you putting it in the microwave to boil it?

Duke: Do you think I have the patience to boil water on the stove?

Damian: It takes less than a minute.

Stephanie: Bestie is your stovetop powered by the fucking sun?

Damian: How long does it take you to boil a cup of water on the stove?

Stephanie: Like seven minutes.

Bruce: Just stick the mug on top of the stove on medium heat and it boils in like two minutes.

Dick: You're putting the whole mug on the stove?

Jason: Every single person in this family is a fucking lunatic.

Alfred: Do none of you own a fucking kettle?

[rat-ao]

This is Bruce

[catchymemes]

[tiktoksthataregood-ish]

[dailydccomics]

the DC Universe by Mikel Janín

[celestialkiri]

I rest my case here 😌

[dzamie]

sharp-fanged snout as a fourth panel

[dovewithscales]

Yes please

[lizardywizard]

*plaps paws frantically on table*

[luisonte]

Dioooooos

[lasrina]

Watching the first one: Yes, my brain that is used to Atlantic coastal dolphins registers that as the size that orcas probably are.

Watching the second one: OH LAWD HE COMIN'

[uovoc]

the best part about sci-fi stories told from the point of view of an artificial intelligence is that you can have omniscient first-person narration and it fuckin slaps

[uovoc]

oh yeah, also the fact that the narrator will go “Unlike humans, I of course am always 100% rational” and then proceed to do something completely unhinged

[roach-works]

you can just say breq we all know it’s her

[moonvalecrossing]

Things I have said while playing Disney Dreamlight Valley:

“Aw heck yeah it’s Merlin instead of Yensid! Cool grandpa instead of always disappointed father!”

“GOOFY DOES THE PERFECT CAST WHEN HE STARTS FISHING?! GOOFY DOES THE PERFECT CAST WHEN HE STARTS FISHING!!!”

“*sees the glowing remnant of a character I have to keep doing quests to bring back fully* I didn’t know this was a horror game???”

“Michael Mouse it is 3 PM stop wishing me good morning.”

“Superbuff Dwyane the Rock Johnson wants me to plant an eel and water it so I can grow a coconut tree.”

“You can wear a skirt OVER PANTS???”

[whencartoonsruletheworld]

90% of the time in dreamlight valley you’re like. picking flowers for wall-e or whatever. the other 10% is the most insanely-raw lore and you never know when it will hit

[ktkat99]

Thr Wayne kids have been kidnapped so often that they have a rating list of which rouges are the better kidnappers.

Steph- Everyone thinks Two-Face is a criminal genius, but he spent so much time fighting with himself that I was able to walk right out the door

Damian- Cobblepot is my personal favorite. Sometimes I let myself be taken just so I can return the favor with his henchbirds. I've nearly amassed my own flock. How he hasn't noticed yet is beyond me.

Tim- Riddler likes to watch the people trying to get me back fight with his riddles, so I'm usually locked up in a quiet, dark cell. Alone. For hours. It's great. He sometimes gives me blankets and pillows and I'm able to make a little fort and just sleep.

Dick, holding up his hand- Harley gave me a manicure and we hate watched reality shows until Ivy came home and made her release me

[stateofconstantemotion]

I'm sick and tired of hearing ice-cold takes that Batman's a Mary Sue.

So what? So what if he's an engineer, martial artist, gymnast, strategist, forensic scientist, hacker, racecar driver, pilot, detective, actor, CEO, etc.

Bruce Wayne is NOT a Mary Sue.

He's Everything. Bruce Wayne is the Barbie of the DC universe.

Anyway here's my pitch for a new batman logo:

[thepromiscuousfinger]

[fastestb-tchalive]

Damian: I'm bored, this is boring. Todd, amuse me.

Jason: Do you want silly putty or serious putty?

Tim: What the FUCK is "serious" putty.

Jason: *pulls a small package out of his jacket* :D

Dick: Is th- IS THAT C4?!?

Steph: Can I have some serious putty?

Jason: *handing the package to Damian and pulling out another for Steph* Absolutely.

[why-i-love-comics]

Love Unlimited: Infinity Comic #48 (2023)

written by Jeremy Whitley art by Bailie Rosenlund & Kelly Fitzpatrick

[scjacka]

This blew up on the clock app so I guess I'll share it here too