Tumblr interaction and entitlement
Recently, I didnāt reply to someone who had messaged me on Tumblr and this person reacted by blocking me, so that when I found time to answer the message, I had typed up my reply, and, obviously, couldnāt send it. I thought, well, thatās kind of a petty response to someone not answering right away (never mind that it would be sometimes days or weeks before I answer peopleās messages on other forums, and they would be cool with it). I thought about this, and I thought about mentioning it, and the reason Iāve decided to talk about it is because it goes back to perceptions about interaction with others that we all need to be mindful of.
If someone sends me a message that I donāt answer right away or donāt answer at all itās because:
Iām busy - I have a life thatās not Tumblr and that takes precedence.
Iām thinking of what to say - I sometimes need to do that. Thoughts arenāt always completely formed in my head, and I donāt write without thinking.
Iām not emotionally capable of responding - Iām upset about the thing youāre asking me aboutĀ or Iām processing, so I canāt talk right now.
I donāt want to talk - everyone should be allowed to be silent if they feel like it.
I donāt have any more to say - if all Iām going to do is repeat myself, or if the conversation has come to a natural end, then Iām not going to say any more.
Tumblr got hungry and ate your message - which means I didnāt get it, which means I obviously couldnāt reply.
But, what all this really comes down to is this: no one is entitled to my attention. Message me by all means, but no one has an automatic right to my time or my emotional reassurance, even if Iāve provided it before. Iām a nice person: I like to talk to people and be reassuring and positive, but I am not a bottomless well of understanding and reassurance. Iām someone who needs time to process my own feelings and replenish my own stock of positivity, particularly when Iām upset about something. We are all entitled to make ourselves available to anyone or no one as we see fit.
So, anyone who feels like theyāre entitled to my time or yours, and who gets petty or upset when they donāt get it, is not someone I or you need in our lives anyway. Respect yourself and your emotions and your time, and forget about anyone who canāt accept that.
