I kinda told you so

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[skydiving-stingray]

Learned how to change the oil on a car as old as I am this past week. After fighting with it for hours, we finally got it done, and my friend told me, "I feel like after that you earned another sock to wrap around your packer."

Lmao I'm dead

[firawren]

[skydiving-stingray]

College life is wilddddd… What is even being a college student?

I wake up at 7 am for a 7:45 class. My roommate wakes up at 6 am for an 8 am class. We are both A students.

I’m out till 1 working on assignments, my roommate is out till 1 with her boyfriend.

I eat on campus, or I don’t eat. My roommate cooks lunches every week so she has fresh food daily.

We are best friends, from the same economic background. We both have siblings, and married parents.

But we’re so different what the heckkkk

[carnival-phantasm]

[lakevida]

scared but noble animal protecting its nestmates

[skydiving-stingray]

My Duobird on Duolingo has started having a f***ing orgasm every time I log on. The iOS version of Duolingo is a fever dream. I’m at 500+ days now tho so that’s cool!

[skydiving-stingray]

22 May

Happy birthday to my mama today. She's awesome

Watching Persuasion tonight as I paint my nails and put off studying. What a strange strange story it is.

This girl was convinced while young to turn down a proposal to a guy she loved. And her dad is a huge snob? And her sisters hate her for some reason?

And her godmother is very changeable in character.

But then the guy she loves comes back to visit his sister, and she's sad cause he appears to now want to marry a 15-year-old. But then that girl jumps off a wall and cracks her head and falls in love with someone else.

So now Wentworth can marry Anne, so he goes off to find her, but Annes first cousin has proposed to her??

Then they do get a happy ending! Woohoo

Anyways

Today I had a public speaking class, and we talked about the time my professor tried to push a flaming car into a flooded mine. It didn't work and they started a brush fire. So yeah he did that XD

I'm supposed to be studying for my exam this weekend, but I really don't want to. Anatomy is fascinating and headache inducing.

[skydiving-stingray]

May 21

Day full of dancing today! I had my dance class in the morning, and country swing tonight.

[adhdmomentsposts]

Does anyone else's ADHD type flipflop between the day and night?

Like during the normal-awake-hours I can sit relatively still for hours on end perfectly fine, but my mind is existing on at LEAST 3 different channels at once at all times with a chorus of mental stims on loop in the background, and my attention span/limit before I get bored or understimulated and open another channel in my head is literally 10 seconds.

But at night, suddenly, the voices dampen, and my mental clarity, focus, and working memory improve enough to actually power through an entire process in one session (I know, unheard of), HOWEVER, I suddenly MUST move or I lose my flow

***Post intermission-> list of recent favorite nighttime activities:

1) Dancing my ass off around the room while sorting/folding/putting away laundry

2) Doing calf raises/leg stretches while writing emails and other computer tasks, usually leaning down/over since I don't have a standing desk (or if I'm on the couch, becoming a kinetic pretzel installation and twisting myself up into all kinds of positions that would make even the most flexible yogis cringe and maybe wince a little)

3) Hopping and hobbling around in a crouch-stance (alternating between frog mode and goblin mode) while sorting through a doom pile (3 times is the charm: once by size (and then trying to make as tall as a tower as I can before it fall), once by color to make a gradient, and then once in actual practical categories before putting things away).

End of intermission***

It's like I either get normal-brain mode or normal-body mode but never both at the same time. I've started planning to do certain tasks at day/night accordingly but I'm not sure if there is a better solution. Thoughts?

[skydiving-stingray]

May 20

Long distance relationships suck. I'm in one with the Engineer, but it's not permanent. It'll end at the end of the summer.

My best friend is looking ahead to two YEARS of long distance with only a few emails a week to talk to her man. I can't imagine how much that hurts. I don't know how to help her and I feel helpless. I miss her, and I feel for her and for T. There's only so much I can do from the distance I'm at.

Can we talk about how sucky boobs are? Flesh jello that I can't control the size of that grows on the most inconvenient location, and they hurt if you don't tie them up tightly. Ouch y'all

I wore a vintage skirt on campus today. (A skirt my mom wore at my age) I got loads of compliments on my outfit, and I ate up that validation on a sad day.

263 days on Duolingo today

[skydiving-stingray]

May 19

Sorta a random day today honestly.

Wasn't as ill today, I think whatever heart/breathing issues I was having have gone back to normal

I got annoyed at these girls in our church group who are supposed to be organizing stuff to do with us, but I'm having to try to organize stuff, which sucks cause I am busy with organizing the choir.

I watched the first episode of Downton Abbey, and I am so confused. They're sad their friends died on the Titanic... But not that sad? They don't like the new valet because why? Now the footman is making out with a duke? And then the footman is angry at the Duke. Well okay I guess.

Went swimming at the school's pool. It was open swim night, which was fun, but it also meant there were some weirdos there. This dude came up to me and my two friends and basically just hung around us the entire time. He kept going underwater near us, and I'm halfway convinced he was looking at us below the water surface which is mega weird. But I have long been proven to attract weirdos so, I guess yikes but oh well.

[skydiving-stingray]

May 18th

Honestly it's so unfair that it's snowing where the engineer is, and here it's just warm and spring-like. I wish it would snow here. Like seriously. Why does he get snow and I don't? Rude lol

I am running out of the white brown and orange yarn for the granny square blanket I'm making for my tutor. I'll have to pick another color up at Walmart or something. I have green yarn at home, but it's too green I think.

Kinda relived my insane ex is finally leaving me alone. Having to call the police to make an official report was nice, but I'm glad he seems to finally be taking me seriously.

I'm wearing a dark purple and orange floral dress today, and I seriously love it. It's cut like it belongs in an Austen book. It makes me feel so fancy. I love it. It does feel kinda cheap, but it was 10$ used so I'll take it. Especially for the vibes it gives. M and Ju say it makes me look like a vampire princess, so I'll take it. Paired it with my clover locket and the black heels that only fit when I wear socks.

Also I can now identify all of my five roommates silverware, but I can't keep track of mine. Selective memory is a beast lol. At least I know what my plate and bowl look like. They're a matching set I got at Salvation Army. I used to have the matching mug, but it broke last semester because I took it to class with me for some reason... Oops

Anyways, happy Sabbath you guys!

[skydiving-stingray]

Journal entry May 17

I kept insisting I wasn't sick, but I also know something is wrong with me lol. I spent most of the 17th just in bed watching the 2008 BBC Sense and Sensibility. I wasn't sure I would like it, but I actually loved it. Sense and Sensibility is my favorite Austen novel, I relate so hard to Elinor as an oldest daughter. They cut out my favorite line from the version I was watching, but it was still conveyed.

The line happens when Mrs. Dashwood is saying how poor and sad Marianne is, and how she must be suffering so so much, and dismisses Elinor (again!) and Elinor breaks down and says to her mother, "just because my pain is less obviously displayed does not make it hurt any less" (probably a paraphrase but that's how I remember it)

I relate to that so hard! Like every oldest daughter knows the feeling of suffering in silence for the sake of younger siblings.

Also I baked Blondies for my evil twin yesterday and took it to his apartment. His roommates gave me such a goofy blank stare when I knocked. They had no idea why I would be there. But I ended up dropping them off and he got them. He assured me he's going to eat them today and tell me what he thinks.

I made a second pan of them for my roommates because they smelled them and really wanted some. I borrowed butter from K to make the second batch, and I was low-key shocked the huge difference it made to the texture over making it with margarine. It was SO much better. (Sorry evil twin I didn't know it mattered so much)

I got to call J last night, and honestly it was super comforting when I was feeling kind of blah. We talked for like an hour, and we got to study the scriptures as well as just chatting. It was so nice.

[skydiving-stingray]

College life is wild. Today on Campus I got passed by a dude in a three piece suit, and another guy in a pleather trench coat and a fedora, and I didn't question either one of them.

[geopsych]

This is for anyone who wishes they could be out before dawn while snow is silently falling. From February 2022.

[skydiving-stingray]

I wish for this so bad. I wish it would snow till May

[goryhorroor]

imma say something controversial but found footage horror when done by people with a gigantic budget suck. found footage horror has and will always belong to amateur horror directors with their cheap camera, friends as their actors, and some random location

[skydiving-stingray]

The trump administration says, "think of the children" who are being hurt by the gays.

My family is being torn up by you Mr. Trump. You ordered all federal employees back to full time in person work. This means : My siblings don't have a parent at home when they arrive back from school. They don't have someone to walk them to the bus stop and wait with them. Pre-school goodbye hugs are gone. Our working parent's commute starts at 6 am now. Our home parent has to take the high schooler to practice at 6 am. No one is home with the kids because you're trying to force government employees to quit.

Think of the children. ALL of the children.

What about all the children who's parents are being discriminated against because of your stupid laws sir? The kids who's parents are being deported?

Do you care about those children? No. You don't care about any of those children. You don't care about children at all.