Skyfern @skyfern - Tumblr Blog

Order of dress for 15th century knight, from undergarment to full suit of armor. I can’t seem to find credit for these illustrations - please attach if you find it.

selinas-deactivated20251210

Happy Halloween! 🎃

edmilibum

As the turf war between Larry the cat and Palmerston (@Diplomog) intensifies, the Telegraph is literally creating maps of the ever increasing number of official cats who are now civil servants. (This is part PR move, part necessity as Westminster is full of old buildings, overrun by mice.) The newest cat is called Cromwell, a name which has been causing controversy.

english-history-trip

Everything about the cats of Westminster is amazing. I for one enjoy the fact that we have Gladstone and Palmerston (19th century PMs), Cromwell (17th century dictator), and Larry (Larry).

By the way, go check out Larry’s Wikipedia page. It is every inch as formal as the PM’s, and five times as interesting.

english-history-trip

Apparently it’s International Cat Day in parts of the world (different countries celebrate on different days, but, you know, por que no los todos!) so let’s look at our most important members of government: The Chief Mousers!

Larry: Chief Mouser to Number 10 (appointed 2011)

Palmerston: Chief Mouser to the Foreign Office (appointed 2016)

Gladstone: Chief Mouser to the Treasury (appointed 2016)

It was proposed that a new cat named Cromwell take up a position at the Cabinet offices, but this seems never to have taken place.

All three are former strays, and occasionally cross paths; Larry and Palmerston have an ongoing, often violent enmity.

fyeahegerton

Taron is actually surprisingly good. The best person I’ve ever trained. He’s a really fast learner. I wanted Taron to look like archery is his second nature. Like it’s fast and dynamic, so he’d shoot an arrow without thinking — Lars Anderson, Taron’s archery trainer. Taron could fire three arrows a second. He could hit moving targets in the air. He was a really impressive archer by the end of the training — Otto Bathurst, director of Robin Hood (2018)

acciowine

Fucking hell. This just makes him so much hotter.

milanesasaregreat-blog

*watches recipe in cookbook*

Okay so I need 3 eggs

*walks over the fridge*

3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs

*opens fridge*

Wait was it 2 eggs

cosamanda

I am sick and tired of stories about how “her innocence and purity is the only thing that can defeat the darkness”. You don’t defeat the darkness by being innocent and pure. You defeat the darkes by kicking and clawing and raging. You defeat the darkness muddy and sweaty and bloodstained and on you knees. You defeat the darkness by raging war on hell until the devil himself begs you for mercy. You don’t defeat the darkness by singing to squirrels and being a virgin. Stop telling little girls that any woman who slays her enemies with her own two hands can not be good or kind. I’m not saying you shouldn’t sing to the squirrels. Sing to the fucking squirrels, but you better get your claws out when the knights of hell come to call because your “innocence and purity” are sure as hell not gonna defeat them. I’m all for the disney-princess-stuff, but women aren’t split into virgin princesses and evil queens. I know a lot of people have a hard time grasping this, but warrior princesses can sing to squirrels to. ♥🌹

witch-of-the-redwoods

Warrior princesses can sing to squirrels too ♥️

theartofanimation

Jenna Barton - http://dappermouth.tumblr.com - https://www.instagram.com/dappermouth

ao3tagoftheday

This is not a tag, but I read this and snakes started manifesting in my house physically, so I thought you all should see it too:

[Image Description: Fic title reading “that fanfic where shrek is a kingsman and gorillaz are helping him to rescure cory in the housw from Darth Vader and other bad guys x-treme (pre-view)”]

ao3tagoftheday

Update: The fic summary is just the word “yeet”

ao3tagoftheday

Update: I have read the fic. Here are some excerpts:

“A long time ago, in the Year 30,000,000 BC, there was a pack of Ogres, where their cold and calculating leader, Shrek, was leading. The ogres were among the most feared species, because they were unpredictable, monstrous beings, they ate people, people feared them. The Ogres had several enemies throughout their existence, witches, elves, pookies, etc. Their allies were the Donkeys, but their worst enemies were the Cybertonians, organic metal beings from the planet Cyberton, their leader, Megatron, was a cruel Decepticon dictator who commanded a pack of evil Cybertonians, Megatron destroyed the entire population of Shrek.”

“"GO!” - Megatron yells at him whipping him on the ground. “Yes, my lord” - Starscream transforms and flies away. “asshole …” - Starscream whispers.“

“Donkey appears with a huge hole in his body. "Donkey! Because you did!? - Shrek grabs Donkey. "It’s time to start over… Shrek … it’s time to write your own … fairy tale … Shrek.” - Donkey dies in Shrek’s arms. Shrek hugs Donkey on the ground while he cries, but then turns to see Megatron furiously with tears in his eyes, in that he gets up off the ground and grabs his sword, runs towards Megatron, Shrek is shouting “THIS IS FOR DAMN FUCKING BASTARD! ”- Shrek.“

I may never recover.

ao3tagoftheday

Update: I try to leave a positive comment on every fic I read. This was the best I could do.

[Image Description: Comment reading "Well. This is not what I was expecting to read today”]

tn-redhead

aregrettablehullabaloo

newshour

What does it take to teach a bee to use tools? A little time, a good teacher and an enticing incentive. Read more here: http://to.pbs.org/2mpRUAz

Credit: O.J. Loukola et al., Science (2017)

paranoidgemsbok

@clockworkrobotic

robotlyra

“Friend? Friend push ball? I push ball. I do good.”

robotsandfrippary

Bees. Smart enough to push a ball, not smart enough to not be fooled by a stick masquerading as a bee.

madsciences

maybe they know and they’re just being polite

neil-gaiman

Other dimensional beings are undoubtedly amazed at what human beings will accept as human beings too. “But it’s just a stick with a person on it.”

ao3tagoftheday

[Image Description: Tags reading “Death Kink, death fetish, terrible aftercare”]

The AO3 Tag of the Day is: Succeeding at necrophilia but failing at necromancy

ao3tagoftheday

[Image Description: Reply reading “or possibly failing at necromance”]

Hey, @akatonbo! Don’t dismiss people who have casual sex with dead bodies. People who engage in necrophilia outside of a committed, monogamous relationship are stigmatized in our society. You should know better than to contribute to that marginalization! Non-romantic post-mortem sexual relationships are valid, y'all!

akatonbo

Excuse you, I said possibly for a reason! If it is supposed to be a romantic relationship, they’re definitely failing if they’re bungling the aftercare!

Even if you’re dead and you’re not looking for anything serious, aftercare should still be a given, but you never know what you’re going to get with a casual hook-up and there’s not necessarily any expectation that you’ll see them again; someone you’re actually dating should know better! Don’t settle even if you’re a corpse!

ao3tagoftheday

That’s a fair point, but this is Tumblr Discourse™ so I feel obligated to say:

@akatonbo is a vitalist asshole followers should block and report

grootficguy

If you’re ever in an Irish speaking part of Ireland (Gaeltacht), and you see a mother with her child, tell her, “Ith an páiste.” It’s a beautiful way of saying, “Your motherhood glows with radiance and grace.” There is no English equivalent for this so give it a go!

thepenguinsaurus

last time i trusted an irish guy i walked home at 4am with my bra in my handbag so lets see

ah yes

never trust the irish

textiles

It’s just a modest proposal

inahiddenplace

I love kids they’re all like.. “when i grow up i’m gonna be an astronaut and a chef and a doctor and an olympic swimmer” like that self confidence! That drive! That optimism! Where does it go

alexundefined

It gets destroyed by adults not believing in you and telling you to pick a realistic career. And by society creating all these obstacles to the point that you’re too tired to try.

thechargrey

But they’re not really unrealistic, SOMEBODY is going to be an olympic swimmer and it might as well be you.

thechargrey

Actually I want to talk about this a little more than I did, because olympic swimming is incredible and works perfectly to talk about attaining goals.

I used to be a varsity swimmer, and I was damn good, but I was forced into it by my parents and completely lost my love for it and therein my drive. But in high school I was swimming against such talented swimmers like Olympic Swimmer Missy Franklin. I’ve met her, and the main difference between her and me was that I was strong but had no passion, but she was strong BECAUSE she had passion.

And I could have been good, really good, maybe even Olympic good. I even have the predisposition for it, been swimming since I was 2 years old, have a mom who was almost an olympic swimmer. Missy didn’t have either of those things, she just wanted it, loved it, had been doing it for a long time, and decided she was going to kick ass at it.

Right, that’s great and all, but I completely missed my opportunity to be an olympic swimmer, yeah? and can never achieve those dreams I had as a kid? No, not even though. There was this whole thought that female athletes peak when they’re 17 years old and lose their skills quickly after that, and male athletes peak around 19. But then Olympic Swimmer Dara Torres shows up. She was an olympic swimmer when she was 17, 21 and 25. Pretty normal age for retirement. She had a few kids. She kicked butt at being a mom.

And then at 33 years old she decides she’s bored or something gets back in shape and kicks so much ass at the trials that she lands herself on the Olympic Team ONCE AGAIN. And then 8 years later, she decides, heck I’m 41 now, no one has ever made the olympic swim team as old as I am, I want to get in shape yet again and teach these children how sports work.

And she still has the record for oldest US Olympic Swimmer, not even any men have beat out that record.

So basically what I’m saying is you could be an olympic swimmer, you really could be. And there are obviously a lot of things stopping you and trying to get in your way: your brain, society, too much chocolate cake for example. But if you really dedicate yourself to it and love it with all of your heart you could, you really could.

And lets say olympic swimming isn’t your jam? That’s cool too. There isn’t a single skill in this world that you can’t learn if you absolutely love it and want to. Any skill you want is going to take time. There are countless famous people who started learning a skill after 20, 30, 40, or even 50. Not a single person has even been president under age 35 (most likely because you’re not allowed to be, but there’s a reason for that). Whatever you want to do you’re probably going to be bad at first, and I’m talking really shitty.

Van Gogh got started in his 20′s and was thought to have no artistic talent at first and was forced to sit in the back of classrooms where the worst artists in the class sat. So yeah you’ll probably be bad, like really bad and everyone including you will think you’re bad. If you stick with it though, if you’re willing to work for years and years, if you keep loving it after all the pain it’s given you,

then you might just paint Starry Night.

ooksaidthelibrarian

#looks like there’s still time for me to learn how to draw … YES. As someone who started drawing at 35 and who always was like: ‘eh, I can’t draw a stick figure to save my life, but I would love to be able to’ this is near and dear to my heart. If you want to draw, start drawing. Keep drawing. Be shit at drawing at first. Keep it up, doodle things on scraps but also draw stuff you don’t think you can draw. Challenge yourself, you will be surprised what you can do. It will be frustrating at times, but it will also be awesome. It is SO much a matter of practice and dedication, not talent.

arialerendeair

This applies for writing, too.

Don’t ever think for a second that it doesn’t! Want to start writing? Then write! You will get better the more you write, the more often, and you will improve, all of the time, as long as you dedicate yourself.

lauraannegilman

The worst lie we tell ourselves is “it’s too late.”

boodlesandtonicplz-deactivated2

haansgruuber

Alan Rickman takes a self-portrait backstage of the RSC’s Troilus and Cressida at the Royal Shakespeare Theatre in Stratford-upon-Avon (1985) [ x ]

I am not okay

Oh god please yes

it would have actually been such a power move to just cast colin farrell as grindelwald because it would make dumbledore’s failings so much more relatable. the rest of the characters are questioning how he could be so shortsighted and blinded and all Dumbledore can offer is “I was in love” and the entire audience is just

quenoeslomismo

Credence in the background:

beeftea78-deactivated20200113

“I would eat his heart in the marketplace” is legit the most savage line I have ever heard, I’d like to personally thank Shakespeare for putting into words that feeling of rage and protectiveness women get when some fuckboy hurts another woman

aeleolus

Okay first off, I will always reblog this post, but secondly, I went to Shakespeare in the Park tonight to see this and all the women cheered *so loudly* when Beatrice said this line, and the guy in front of me looked around all shocked and a little scared and said “… oh wow” and it was ICONIQUE

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