Just Random Stuff

i will respond to any pronoun because language is made up. just like gender.

[risk-repeater]

this job market is a fucking nightmare

[remanence-of-love]

[parabins]

tumblr isn’t considered a social media because everyone on here is just talking to themselves

[parabins]

yeah i agree

[infectiouspiss]

when god closes a door you reach your little paws under it and go mrrwwaaaooow mmreeaaow

[clairewolf]

in celebration of dean winchester, here’s a video about being in the closet for your whole life. 

( compulsive liar - ezra furman | youtube )

[ouroborosorder]

”all language is approximation” believers when my autistic ass finally weaves together the exact right linguistic phrase that conveys pure information and shatters qualia as we know it

[anxietyproblem]

[shesgonnachangetheworld]

people have this tendency to believe that fandom discourse exists because people in fandoms are Stupid Nerdy Losers, but in fact fandom discourse exists because anytime you get a group of more than 100 people together, they will start creating interpersonal bullshit. fandom is not special in this regard

[lyricwritesprose]

There is sports discourse. There is yarn discourse. There is food discourse. There is academic discourse (dear sweet god is there academic discourse). If there are people out there collecting brass buttons specifically from 1921, they are going to have discourse about which buttons are trash and whether Person A cheated person B. To be human is to engage in pointless wankery sometimes.

[despazito]

i wonder what year the first beatles yaoi was written

[despazito]

imagine being a hardcore beatles and star trek fujoshi in 1969

[despazito]

we salute our humble, salt of the earth 3rd generation fanfiction writers

[wordpress-blaze-246574993]

New Year’s Resolution (with a body that has other plans)

This year

I will not promise

to become unbreakable.

My body has already taught me

that survival is not loud,

and strength does not always look like climbing.

I will resolve

to listen before I push,

to rest before I disappear,

to forgive the days that arrive empty-handed.

I will measure success

in smaller, truer units:

getting dressed,

answering one message,

standing in a patch of sunlight

like it is an achievement

because today it is.

I will not chase the version of me

that existed before pain learned my name.

I will walk beside the one who is here now,

learning new maps,

rewriting what “enough” means.

Some days my resolution will be

to do less.

Some days it will be

to do nothing and not call it failure.

And if I grow,

it will be quietly—

like roots deciding, without witnesses,

that they are still reaching.

This year,

I resolve to stay.

To keep choosing my body,

even when it is difficult,

even when it is slow,

even when the world prefers miracles

over maintenance.

I am not giving up.

I am choosing a kind of hope

that can breathe here.

Source: New Year’s Resolution (with a body that has other plans)

[tlirsgender]

Things people hate hearing:

You are capable of harm

You have some level of power and agency

Ergo it is your responsibility to communicate your needs and boundaries

If you lie to someone about something being okay when it isn't, that is on you

Something being a trauma response doesn't exempt it from harming your relationships and the other people in them

Enabling your trauma responses will not make them go away, and it is your responsibility to work on yourself for your own wellbeing as well as the people around you

Being A Victim cannot be a pillar of your identity forever, and being victimized does not make you incapable of harming other people (see above)

You are not a mouse in a jean jacket you are an eel with a gun / adult human being who can use your words even if it's Scary

Having a personality disorder doesn't make you evil but you have got to get off of Personality Disorder Tumblr (see above, re: enabling)

[tlirsgender]

Deep sigh. You want me to ~be compassionate~ here's the compassionate answer: your trauma will tell you you're a helpless child forever and you need to Not Think This Way for yourself (living under the assumption you're still in danger whether you actually are or not) and everyone else who has to tiptoe around your Sensitivity. That's how you break the cycle and you can only do this by accepting responsibility for your actions. And it seems like a small semantic thing but imo step one is calling yourself a survivor instead of a victim. Self identifying with your victimhood helps No One. You lived, now get up

[batbetbitbotbut]

starting a collection

attributed to Lily Tomlin; Terry Pratchett, A Hat Full of Sky; ilene_cecelia, reddit; Pratchett, Night Watch; Pratchett, A Hat Full of Sky; Pirkei Avot 2:21; Ursula K. le Guin, Tehanu

[elodieunderglass]

““The gods have no hands in this world but ours. If we fail Them, where then can They turn?””

— The Hallowed Hunt (World of the Five Gods) by Lois McMaster Bujold

[donnerpartyofone]

It's hard to say this without sounding like a right wing dickhead, but the thing about progressive spaces is that they may naturally attract people who are always on the lookout for excuses to start a fight. Like you can find yourself faced with someone whose political outrage is totally justified, and whose humanitarian ideals are right on the money, but simultaneously they are carrying a ton of psychological baggage about being wronged and getting revenge, and they will exploit literally any opportunity to live out this psychodrama with anyone in their line of vision. I have thought of several related anecdotes since I started typing this post, but I'll limit myself to the thing that inspired it, which is that I just visited this ultra-lefty cafe/bike shop/community gathering space where I've heard that the proprietor is constantly in a fight with everyone around her. When I paid for my stuff I noticed that there was no tip option, but I thought I had heard something about this, so I snuck away to look at the website and it made me really glad I didn't ask! I think there should have been a really enticing and exciting way for her to say "I've decided to be the change I want to see in the world, so I'm paying my baristas a full living wage, I'm making sure EVERYONE feels welcome and comfortable here, and I'm selling products I believe in!" -- but instead all the web copy sounded more like "You're either with me or against me, you're a fucking piece of shit asshole if you can't handle the inclusive atmosphere here, and by the way tipping is for fascist cavemen and if you ever try to tip someone you are refusing to relate to them authentically and you are enforcing a dangerous and evil power dynamic that should be purged from human society (so therefore I pay my staff well)." Like everything she stood for was totally agreeable, but why did she have to put it like it was directed at her worst enemy, rather than at the kinds of people she wants to attract? If the word on the street is to be believed, the reason for this posturing is that she spends quite a lot of energy making as many enemies as possible, and she probably likes it that way. I guess I'm just reminding myself, and perhaps others, that while one might think of "politics" as being broadly social and theoretical, no individual can fully separate the political from the intimately personal. Even somebody who seems to want to uplift and protect their fellow humans may be getting some perverse inner satisfaction out of that valiant crusade, and you may never realize it until you find yourself in a confusing fight with them.

[author-by-night]

I ran a LARP for a few years explicitly aimed at being queer friendly and accessible, and eventually cut it short mainly for this exact reason. You wouldn’t believe the amount of abuse my staff and I took for reasons that felt genuinely insane. I got called ableist for telling someone they couldn’t be invincible in my game of make believe, more than once. Defended myself, multiple Jewish players, and a conversion student from accusations of antisemitism based on alleged lore we’d never written / suggested / that simply and plainly did not exist in game. Had a staffer try to talk to someone about how a joke she made was uncomfortable only for this person to retaliate in epic proportions full white woman crocodile tears style, trying to get this staffer removed and eventually escalating into a full public hate campaign when she didn’t get her way. All that’s still just the tip of the iceberg.

Progressive spaces are naturally populated by traumatized people, and unfortunately trauma makes people more difficult. (I’m not excluded in that. No one is.) Running a progressive space is doubly difficult because a lot of left-facing trauma was inflicted by authority, so you’re setting yourself up to be the windmill that someone tilts their displaced rage at. I don’t really know what the solution is, but I do know that this is one of the huge reasons it’s so hard to find community: the people with a bone to pick can’t reach the ones who actually hurt them, but they’ll sure find you along the way, and the safer they feel around you the safer they’ll feel coming after you.

[ariaste]

Once again I am begging everyone to read Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It by Chris Voss.

Voss spent 25 years as a hostage negotiator, meaning that his job was to talk to guys on the phone who had literal guns to innocent people's heads. He KNOWS how to compassionately de-escalate a conflict and have productive, constructive conversations with people who are highly activated and reactive.

Especially if you are neurodivergent, read this book. The communication tools are specific, concrete, easy to implement, and will dramatically reduce the psychic damage you're taking just from trying to navigate the conversation.

[elodieunderglass]

My mother was like this! Traumatised by childhood, and convinced that everyone was withholding justice from her, she spent her whole leftist life tilting at windmills, and fell into conspiracy thinking (“it’s not paranoia if they’re all out to get you.”) she will beef with anyone, rapidly making and losing friendships based on their perceived inability to appreciate quite how much Justice she needs. They’re either with her or against her, and even the faintest detectable eye-glazing during a trauma-dump, or an attempt to talk about themselves, is evidence that they’re not sufficiently dedicated to condemning her abusers. She’s really quite tiresome! She was genuinely abused! She has antibodies against the kind of support that would help!

she eventually became quite right-wing through conspiracy theory indoctrination, and while she doesn’t recognise this at all and still identifies as progressive, parrots the most toxic conservative talking points. I believe she’s super TERF-y at the moment for some reason. We don’t talk. A lonely way to live, but at some point the pattern has repeated to much that it must truly be the preferred way to live.

[skylerkernaghan]

This. Protect your peace. Try to heal and bring the best to everyone, especially in spaces you like and would like to keep attending.

[maxknightley]

in the contemporary world, the most fundamental human right - and, it often seems, the least protected one - is "being both Allowed and Able to go Somewhere Else." the rest is commentary.

[maxknightley]

the torments of prison are predicated on Not Letting You Leave. the most terrifying and degrading aspects of childhood are predicated on Not Letting You Leave. misogynists wail and moan and fearmonger about divorce and equal opportunity employment because they Allow Wife To Leave. borders and immigration restrictions exist, in no small part, to Prevent People From Leaving countries where they will be exploited and/or oppressed. fuck you for trying to leave. fuck you for exerting any control over your life whatsoever. that makes you the one at fault, actually.

[itsnotwhatimlike]

embarrassment has good bones

[oaluz]

When everything is embarrassing, that’s a sign that your passion is waking up, and it wants more. Your desire is a tender sprout that wants more water, more sunshine. It wants you to give up on SEEMING happy and in control and to start FEELING joy instead, even when it feels a little too big, even when it makes you cry, even when it forces you to question where you are and why.

Passion and desire and shame and sadness don’t signal that you have to change everything immediately, though. These are sensations that don’t require solutions. Your primary job, in the face of renewed lust for life, is to tolerate the shame of joy.

Because embarrassment is sometimes just a sign that you’ve never lived out in the open before, you’ve never cared more about a feeling than you care about how you’re coming across, you’ve never prioritized happiness over control.

This is why it’s good to take risks that might embarrass you regularly. Because every time you dare to embarrass yourself for the sake of who you are, you’re teaching your body to prioritize joy. You’re teaching yourself to let go of seeming better than the things you love. You’re showing yourself how to feel where you are — to soak in the cool fall air, to breathe in the moon, to love every lopsided moment of your glorious, flawed life.

Shame is a Side Effect of Desire, Heather Havrilesky

[plainwaterpdf]

I Worried, Mary Oliver

[retquits]

so don't get too comfortable.

high resolution free to download [ here ]

[inkbands]

Reblog if you love bread or hate the United States military industrial complex