Cybertronian Cuisine: From Energon Additives to Feeding Sparklings to Getting Wasted
preface: I am very drunk and naturally my first response is to compulsively clean my room and then write a bunch of shit about Transformers.
disclaimer: god I’m so hammered, so if I mess anything up here, it’s mostly because oh my god I’m so hammered. I will do my best to avoid errors, but if anyone spots anything fucked up, please let me know and I’m happy to fix it as soon as I can! <3
without further ado, let’s start with foods!
Energon Types, aka Energon Cubes are Space Lunchables
There are many different types (and representations) of energon, varying from each series to the next.
In some TF media, energon is depicted as being a singular universal fuel, while in other TF media, energon is the basis of most food goods, and in other TF media, energon is simply one of various potential fuel sources.
There’s a ton of variation, so I plan on doing an energon-specific post at some point in the future and go series by series to better outline the differences in how energon is utilised between different shows/comics!
For now, I’ll be talking about energon in a broader sense, with some details noted here and there whenever it’s something that has popped up in canon on more than one occasion, or in at least two different pieces of TF media. Sometimes there are inconsistencies in canon, particularly in media like the G1 Marvel UK TF comics, which had a lot going on and a lot of things were one-off mentions or were essentially retconned later within that continuity.
Probably the most blatant differences between continuities are the visual depictions of energon; In TFP, energon is famously blue and tends to appear most often in an unrefined crystal form, due to their circumstances on Earth.
Generally though, energon is most often pink, although the liquid consistency of this pink energon seems to vary (sometimes it moves in a clear cube like water, other times it drips like it has a thicker viscosity).
In G1, energon is sometimes more of a purely liquid-like substance, but in some episodes (like here in “Transport to Oblivion”), the energon appears to be converting from some kind of electricity/lighting looking situation into a liquid. Because it’s G1.
(Most likely, this was intended to look like a liquid, just one that emits sparks or lightning-like arcs of electricity while being poured.)
So, we have a zillion different depictions of energon, a lot of which aren’t super consistent, some of which are, and lots of variation in between each series etc. in regards to what you can and can’t do with energon, how energon works as a fuel, and so on.
That having been said, I’ll do my best to keep this straightforward and fairly simple!
The same goes for “energon additives”, which are essentially seasonings or additional ingredients which change the flavour (and sometimes the texture and/or appearance) of energon.
But I want to talk a little more about energon itself, first:
Energon itself often requires refinement to become a consumable fuel, with unrefined energon typically being depicted as more difficult or unpleasant to consume in a “raw” form.
Energon can also be chewed on in crystalline form; This is sometimes depicted as a desperate measure with diminished “nutritional”/energy benefit, and at other times has been depicted as a treat (somewhat like rock candy) or even as a delicacy (with energon crystals sometimes being shown as a “high class” or rare type of treat, presumably because it may be considered far more expensive or difficult to obtain raw, unprocessed, unbroken crystals which could presumably otherwise be broken down and refined into a greater quantity of liquid energon, but this is just my own conjecture).
It is worth noting that there does sometimes seem to be a classist association with different types of energon: Crystalline energon has been depicted (mostly in comics) as being a possible delicacy or confectionary-like good, and has been suggested on some occasions to be more expensive or harder to obtain (or both) compared to liquid energon.
At the same time, poor bots (those who are dilapidated, “siphoners”, “leakers”, or lower class workers such as those who actually work in the energon mines) are often seen having difficulty chewing raw energon shards or larger crystals.
There may be a difference between the crystals used for confectionary-like goods, versus genuinely “raw” energon crystals as they naturally occur in the ground, but to my knowledge this difference has never been specified or detailed in any TF media yet. (I could be wrong, but I couldn’t find anything in my admittedly currently drunk researching for now.)
Liquid energon is almost always considered the “refined” form, and there are multiple different grades of energon quality– In much the same way there are different fuel grades for gasoline, the same sort of tier-quality system can be applied to energon in most continuities.
On some occasions, liquid energon has been shown as possible to form into various shapes, not unlike popsicle sticks or fruit juice frozen into certain shapes. It’s not clear if the energon is “frozen” to make these treats, or if there is another method of re-solidifying the energon to produce this type of snack.
Now, energon additives tend to fall into two general categories:
Liquid additives seem to be added to liquid energon, although on at least one occasion, a liquid additive has been applied to a solid consumable (energon or another type of food–we’ll get to that) like a sauce, explicitly to add and/or enhance flavour.
It is unknown if any energon additives change the composition of the actual energon itself, or if they remain chemically etc. separate, thus retaining their own distinct flavour.
It is the case that several energon additives have flavour on their own, so it would seem that it isn’t a reaction with the energon itself that is required to produce a new flavour, but rather, other individual compounds can also be processed and tasted on their own as a distinctive food item.
Some energon additives have been described as “unhealthy” or as having less benefit to a bot’s health, while others have been described as accelerating energy recovery or having other benefits.
Again, there seems to be little consistency or detail regarding a lot of Cybertronian food items/additives in most TF media, and a good number of them have only ever been mentioned once and then never again, so there’s very limited information to work with.
However, I’ve done my best to dig up most of the named Cybertronian foods that we DO know a little about in canon, with the assistance of my TF media archives (movies, TV shows, and comics) as well as a hefty amount of TF Wiki searching.
Cybertronian Food Additives/Alternatives: A grocery store on their planet would fucking kill us instantly
This is not a comprehensive list of all Cybertronian foods; I have selected these to show an idea of the variety available, and the nature of certain additive compounds or materials.
There are also two further categories of foods and additives:
1) Things based on real materials that exist on Earth
2) Fictional things based on author names or in-jokes, many of which are not meant to be taken seriously or may not be fully canonical
For example, mercury sauce would be in category one, since mercury is a real thing, and apparently exists in some form on Cybertron as well.
In category two, we have Budianskium Basil, which is a noted ingredient in Garbage-Os and is named for Bob Budiansky.
Here are a couple noted non-energon Cybertronian consumables:
Lead sulfide crystals – Green in colour, they seem to be consumed in solid cube form (for the most part), and are commonly garnished with various additives.
Caesium salami – It’s exactly what you think it is.
And of course, you can check out the TF Wiki page here for other foods!
Sparkling Food: Yes, there are certain foods that are more or less equivalent to Gerber’s Baby Carrots
Now, sparklings and protoforms have so much variation between each TF series and across TF media in general that I’m not going to get into the specifics here. I’ll just note the continuity each food is mentioned in, but it’s worth keeping in mind that as always, few things are universal between different continuities!
In TFA, Wreck-Gar’s Garbage-Os are specifically noted as being OK for protoforms to consume:
For class 1 through 3 protoforms, a standard serving is two kilo-units. And with twelve servings per container, there are enough servings for twelve protoforms. - TF Wiki page on Garbage-Os
In other TF media, sparklings have been fuelled or fed in all manner of ways and with all sorts of materials, from “plain” refined energon to specifically raw energon to adulterated forms of energon (not many details available) to requiring saturation (being submerged) in energon as well as other materials (again, details are fairly sparse) to ensure healthy development and a good diet.
In IDW 1, it is explicitly stated that Camiens are the sparklings of the Titan Caminus; We have no information on how Caminus (the Titan) sustained all of his sparklings in order to populate Caminus (the planet), only that resources were extremely limited and that he damaged himself extensively in addition to largely disassembling himself in order to provide the necessary materials and environment for them to flourish.
We can’t say specifically what materials from Caminus were needed to sustain his “hot spot” and ensure the healthy development of so many Camiens, only that whatever materials are needed to sustain a spark/protoform/sparkling, Caminus himself was able (barely) to provide.
It could be that some materials could be created, possibly artificially, later on once an initial population was established, thus allowing Caminus to retain as much as possible of his own materials from a certain point onward. However, that is conjecture, based on the fact that we know Caminus is a society which is expert in energy conservation, and that in MTMTE/Lost Light, we see Velocity (who is a Camien) briefly discuss what is essentially midwifery with Anode– A subject I also have saved for a future analysis post.
Basically, how you feed your baby bots depends on your continuity and your circumstances in canon! :)
Getting Drunk on Cybertron, AKA SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS
special shoutout to IDW Swerve fans, lmao this one’s for you <3
now, in the G1 episode “Microbots”, we straight up see the Decepticons sitting around getting wasted as hell on plain ol’ energon, in what is a process called “over-energizing”:
it’s this episode that sort of set the precedent that quantity of energon matters, and if someone over-fuels themselves, it’ll likely result in drunk-like behaviour or outright intoxication.
essentially, energon in and of itself has intoxicant properties, but it depends on how much energon is consumed. a seemingly hefty amount of plain, “regular” energon needs to be imbibed before a bot starts doing karaoke and sending emotional text messages to people they haven’t spoken to in five years.
(unless you are Starscream, who seems to be slightly more lightweight than others, which might be a suggestion that Seekers may have a lower tolerance for energon intoxication compared to vehicular alt-modes, or it might just be Starscream being Starscream and using it as an excuse to have vaguely malicious, embarrassing fun. it’s genuinely hard to tell.)
however, in more modern continuities, there have been some “cocktail” like energon blends which are mentioned, presumably as a way to differentiate “regular” energon from the energon that will absolutely get someone blasted as hell– this sometimes coexists alongside regular energon getting people trashed in high enough amounts, and sometimes exists as an alternative to suggesting that energon can get bots trashed.
because I’m sure Hasbro realised eventually that not differentiating energon (sober) from energon (thinly veiled alcohol equivalent) in any way, visual or otherwise, was probably not great lmao
Cybertronian Intoxicants versus Cocktails: not quite the same thing!
it’s worth noting that intoxicants are not necessarily the same as an alcohol-equivalent, and include poisons or sometimes literally the dark fuel/blood of Unicron (dark energon) in TFP, for example– which may have been partially inspired by Angolmois Energy in the Japanese G1 continuity, but I don’t have any proof of that.
so I just want to specify that fuel that can get a bot trashed, energon or otherwise, are not necessarily the same as general intoxicants, which can be harmful substances that are consumable in many cases but are not typically intended to be consumed and are not common types of fuel.
Swerve’s Bar!!!! hell yeah disco night
IDW 1 brought us engex, which seems to be either some form of energon, energon that has been treated in a particular way to increase it’s intoxicant properties, or is possibly a mix of various compounds or additives which result in a range of intoxicating beverages.
Engex is sometimes depicted in different colours, including the same pink colour as “regular” energon, which could be down to different additives or manufacturing/mixing processes and the inclusion of certain additive ingredients.
As you can see above, both of those drinks are engex, but are different colours and are being served in similar looking glasses but are differently sized, which could be roughly analogous to the different glassware found in human bars. (Shot glass versus brandy snifter versus a stein etc.)
There are a few canonical cocktails, such as the Botropolis Special, and you can find more listed here.
Sadly, we don’t have any complete menu for Swerve’s, Maccadam’s, or Blurr’s bars, among various others featured in the IDW continuity and/or others.
I need to go hydrate and take a nap now
Hopefully this was interesting for someone!!! If you read all of this, thank you so much! <3
As mentioned before, I am currently drunk, so if anyone spots any glaring issues or anything, please do let me know and I’m happy to fix anything that might need some fixing. :) <3
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