why did i write that?

the official blog of the weirdass things i write while half-asleep

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today's half asleep note from my phone is:

Jelly buttbean

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today's half asleep note from my phone is:

Romance movie where the love interest is a mysterious bus

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today's half asleep note from my phone is:

Yourcant teach an old dog new dog

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today's half asleep note from my phone is:

Four spacious skies? Isnt tjat a little excessive

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today's half asleep note from my phone is:

Hogs count

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today's half asleep note from my phone is:

When your dreams was to open a flock of seagulls here but there’s already a flock of seagulls here

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today's half asleep note from my phone is:

Who cares if I'm beautiful. I'm 400 feet tall and descending upon your city

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today's half asleep note from my phone is:

A strict diet of porcelain

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today's half asleep note from my phone is:

Your honor i wojlf like to submitto the court thet nikola tesla was m a quirked up white boy

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today's half asleep note from my phone is:

#actuallyundead

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today's half asleep note from my phone is:

Bird skull apartment

$1000 a month

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today's half asleep note from my phone is:

It's like my father always said: available now for 4 easy payments of $19.99

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today's half asleep note from my phone is:

Primate markeyint? All marketing is primaye markwting

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today's half asleep note from my phone is:

Assigned Failure At Birth

Assigned Fergalicious At Birth

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today's half asleep note from my phone is:

Chimera Andy

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today's half asleep note from my phone is:

Stop asking me aboit my tragic backstory and start asking me about my sickass ice powers

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today's half asleep note from my phone is:

Found a goose? This 3-year-old will tell you whether it’s her goose or not. (Spoiler: they are all her geese)