SleepyGhost

[sleepyghost000]

[libraford]

Are YOU gonna let THE GOVERNMENT tell YOU what YOUR GENDER is? That doesn't sound like Life Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness to me! PROTECT your individual FREEDOMS and call your senator: we want the GOVERNMENT to stay OUT OF OUR PANTS! GENDER FREEDOM NOW!

[libraford]

Two men in your neighborhood are married... to EACH OTHER? Congratulate them for exercising their AMERICAN RIGHT to follow the footsteps of our FOUNDING FATHERS! They've got a fully AMERICAN spirit of FREEDOM and REBELLION! GOD BLESS THE USA.

[libraford]

Your coworker has a different RELIGION from yours? Well, that's just INTERESTING and you should talk about it on your UNION-APPROVED LUNCH BREAK. The UNITED STATES OF AMERICA was FOUNDED on Freedom of Religion and ANYONE should be allowed to seek the AMERICAN DREAM!

[libraford]

You think someone might be in this GREAT country ILLEGALLY? NO YOU DON'T! No one is in this country illegally! The minute anyone steps on our SOVEREIGN SOIL they're your FELLOW AMERICAN and where they come from is NO ONES BUSINESS.

[rosslynpaladin]

it's funny yeah, but guys this is actually how you reach the people who prefer these terms to frame all things Good and Correct.

[rosszulorzott]

[maiaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

@theshitpostcalligrapher please. Im beggin

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

oh i've done this one actually

[eevee-of-eternity]

Teleported reader says no to the dragonborn. Dragonborn frames her. Companions kick her out without hearing her side. Just a thought I had. The game doesnt exist where shes from.

------

P1

P2 in works

P3 tbp

P4 tbp

[elodieunderglass]

hello Elodie, i wanted to show you this free Object in my local facebook group. According to the post in question, he is movable AND you can put a lampshade on his head!

he is, apparently, "for decoration or company"

that's all thank you for your time

"for decoration or company"

[rawme-price]

No thoughts just retired!gaz teaching self-defense classes to pass the time, right?

Something to keep him busy and away from more dangerous pass times, a way to help people even when he's off the field. Gaz believes self-defense is the most important thing you can learn, Something he tells you himself on your first day.

Gaz makes it his life goal to teach you when he's within those four walls. You and your whole class go from helpless to able to disarm a grapple by the end of the course. For many, that's enough, but gaz wants to go the extra mile. Teaches you how to handle bigger opponents, or ones with specialized backgrounds, ones with weapons.

You never thought you'd actually have to use your training, at least not so soon.

You're barely two blocks from the studio when you notice him. A man following you. Has been for a while, and dammit the streets are basically empty and you don't have an escape and—

A hand grabs your shoulder, big and gloved and you don't think before reacting. Don't wait for the scorpion to sting you, kyle had said.

So you don't, you slam your elbow back until you hear a pained grunt, turn around and knee the asshole in the dick. Giant, masked, all black clothes. He doubles over with a groan.

You don't hear the footsteps when you reach into your bag for pepperspray until a familiar hand is wrapping around your wrist, and you jerk your head up to see Kyle's wide eyes "woah! What, wait a second."

He turns to the man now having stood back up, but keeping his distance "simon! What the actual fuck?!"

The man, simon, takes a steadying breath before holding your phone out to you "you dropped this outside the studio....strong kick. Good form."

...kyle bursts out laughing.

Of course ghost, in all his wisdom, would think it perfectly fine to follow a stranger in the middle of the night and grab them silently to return a phone. Of course he would, that dumbass.

The whole time kyle is laughing you're desperately apologizing to ghost, only to get flustered when gaz tells you not to apologize and he absolutely deserved it.

"Hey. Consider it extra training." He chuckles, grinning "I'm inviting simon to the studio tomorrow for training on a bigger opponent."

So you'll have to see him again. The guy you just kicked in the dick.

....you wonder if there's a hole nearby to crawl into.

[secondbeatsongs]

Visit Original Link

“Call Me Maybe” with every other beat removed

[pucket]

[transfemininomenon]

YOU’RE STUBBORN, JEANS STOLEN, NIGHT ROWING

THINK YOU’RE BABY?

[senshimeshi]

HEY AND YOU, AMAZING, BUT YOMBER, SO CLAYBE 

[mossdragon]

my gf crafted this with lots of care for yall. pls enjoy:

[secondbeatsongs]

losing my mind over this

[itsmaddienow]

I’m going to upload this to youtube as an unlisted song and then add it to my dad’s playlist

[secondbeatsongs]

@itsmaddienow I mean, it is very much already on youtube

[bread-loaf-heart]

5 YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF SO CLAYBE LETS GO

[8akesale]

happy seven years of claybe

[secondbeatsongs]

woah

[buttpoems]

[sleepyghost000]

Anyone got any good mha fics with vigilante deku? Preferably complete. bonus points if it's dadzawa and dadmic.

[ohclaire]

You’re a chronic under-dresser. Maybe it’s pride or forgetfulness, but whenever the weather starts to turn, you kind of just…ignore it.

Which has put you in more than a few unideal situations. Like standing in a full blizzard in a shirt or being in negative temperatures with no gloves. So your team has started to accommodate for you in an effort to not lose you to frostbite.

So when you’re about to step out into a foot of snow with no coat, Kyle sounds the alarm.

“Wait!” He flails off the couch, grabbing a small bundle of fabric from the top of the coat rack and lunging for you, “We have a code blue!”

“Code blue? What the he—“

You’re cut off as Kyle smushes the fabric over your head. In his eagerness, he goes too far and it’s pulled over your eyes completely.

“Kyle!” You try to ignore the spice of his scent coming from what you now know to be his beanie.

“Help is on the wee, dear!” Before you can drag the beanie off of your eyes, Johnny is on you wrapping a scarf around your neck.

You jut your arm out in panic, being blind and all.

“Ah! Me eye!”

You cringe, “…sorry, Johnny.”

But hey, it’s honestly fitting you hit his eye. Good payback. And now you’re smelling the fresh citrusy scent of Johnny which is not helping.

You go to fix the beanie again, until a strong hand grabs your wrist to straighten your arm, “ah, ah, ah, not yet, sweetheart. Need a coat.” John’s sandalwood and smoke now.

“Is this all really necessary,” you come out a little muffled through the scarf.

“We like ye with all yer digits, birdie.”

You’ve given up on fixing the hat, so you just keep your arms extended, waiting for the last person you know is coming.

A light touch finds your hand, caressing up to your wrists before sliding on some gloves that are far too big for you.

“All done, love.”

You finally reach up to fix the beanie, bringing Simon’s warm amber to your nose. Finally you can see again, only to find you’re swamped in their winter clothes.

“I look like a marshmallow.” You say unamused, trying to ignore the fuzzy feeling being surrounded by their scents is making.

“A warm one.” They all smile back.

You roll your eyes like you hate it. But you don’t.

[jaewritesfic]

For the third time in as many minutes, Phantom's phone goes off in the Watchtower.

The first two times it was silenced and ignored - this time the young ghost whips it out with an irritated, "Oh for the love of-" and hits answer.

"What?!"

"Respectfully, my liege, I ask that you reconsider my proposal on-"

"Not today, Satan," Phantom cuts in dryly and hangs up.

Most every member of the Justice League present smiles or chuckles - the young ghost is their newest member, and his humor is always appreciated.

Constantine on the other hand is frozen and sweating bullets, because he recognized the voice on the phone.

That was honest to fucking God Satan himself.

[uniasus]

It takes Constantine the rest of the meeting to gather his courage to ask for more details. It's just, Satan sounded like he was planning something and he'd rather get a heads up. No offense to Phantom, but he's young and Constantine doubts being told 'no' will stop the devil.

As heros get up to leave, Constantine switches chairs to sit next to Phantom. "That was actually Satan on the phone."

From the corner of his eye, he sees Zatanna, Flash, and GL pause.

"i happen to know the guy, and if he really wants to do something he will. So what is he planning?" And why was he giving Phantom a warning, but one thing at a time.

Phantom blinks at him. Then squints. Constantine gets the distinct feelings that the ghost is using metaphysical xray vision and sits still.

"you don't have to worry. Your soul won't end up in Hell for all eternity."

"uh-"

"because Hell is just another dimension the Ghost Zone is connected to, you know? Satan gave me a tour last month. And like every 'soul' dimension, it's not really an afterlife."

Flash and GL give each other looks, but they can talk religion and souls later. Constantine already knows souls are real but Heaven isn't.

"not that your soul contracts aren't valid," Phantom continues. "It's just, you're like a cow? People have dibs on a cut."

Constantine goes green and he sees Zatanna place a hand over her stomach.

"what's this got to do with Satan?"

"oh. So Hell isn't what you all think it is, but he likes how you think of it, and he wanted permission to go rampaging through this dimension to stoke that image. Cast fireball at a bunch of buildings, answer all the fake summons, that sorta thing."

How many fake summons a day were there? How many buildings was a bunch?

"thanks for telling him no," Constantine says, "but i don't trust him."

"good man." Phantom stands, clapping Constantine on the back. "I don't either, but he's currently scared of me and should listen for at least the first hundred years."

"Satan," Zatanna says, no longer just pretending to eavesdrop, "is scared of you."

"no one wants to be the next Pariah Dark."

"lord of the Infinite Realms?" Constantine asks.

"ex-lord of the Infinite Realms." Phantom's smile is the same as when he cracks jokes at meetings, but suddenly Constantine is terrified. "See ya next week."

Phantom flies off and Constantine points a shaky finger at Flash and GL. "As founding members, i expect you to update his profile."

"to what?" John crosses his arms. "Knows Satan?"

"to fucking king of the infinite realms."

Green Lantern looks to Zatanna, asking for understanding.

"Phantom has more power in his nail clippings than anyone we know, good or bad. If there's an actual god who watches over multiple dimensions and decides how they go, Phantom would be it."

Flash looks unsure, but Lantern nods. "I'll update his file and make notes that he's got amazing control and shouldn't be pissed off."

"thank you," Zatanna says.

"and if we want to plan for a rebellious Satan, we've got a hundred years," Constantine says. "Should be good. Hell of a good timeline, compared to what you give us."

[spidori]

Wait.... Just, hold on a sec...

So The Presence (D.C.'s version of the Abrahamic God) is, A.) a thing, 2.) incredibly powerful but almost never interacts with the story (for obvious narrative reasons), and third.) Satan is naturally its child and this comes up in several stories.

There are two different potential chaos scenarios Zatanna's explanation immediately put in my mind.

First, If GhostKing!Danny is the Presence, then Lucifer would be his child. This could easily be Dan, which would fit with why he fears Danny. This would also make for a beautiful bit of chaos once Constantine figured it out, because of how, exactly, he knew what Lucifer's voice sounds like.

Alternatively, Kings need heirs. Even if the reign of the Ghost King is entirely passed on by right of combat, ghosts who derive from living beings seem to be pretty strongly imprinted with the patterns of the life they once lead (that's what obsession is and how they persisted after all); the immortal ghost of a mortal king would likely still act as they did while still trying to protect the mortal monarchy and bloodline. So consider, Lucifer, the child of Pariah Dark, raised to believe it was their right to succeed their father, only to be absolutely Bodied by this newly half-dead twink, and unable to pull politics either because he won't give them the opportunity to get any hooks in to set things in motion. Oh, They're royally pissed.

But everyone has to have a weakness. They just have to find someone who knows the king and is willing to make a bargain to tell them. Like this charming garbage-heap of a fellow named Vladimir. He has all the dirt on Lucifer's new foe, and seems receptive to their advances... maybe a bit too receptive...

Ah well, as that other charming garbage-heap of a mage used to say, "In for a penny, in for a Pounding."

[sodamnbored]

New parent Bruce at two in the morning: Why aren’t you in bed?

9-year-old Dick, sitting at the table eating ice cream: Because I’m in the kitchen.

Bruce tiredly, digging out some coffee: And why are you in the kitchen?

Dick: Because it’s where the ice cream is.

[anonyunknownonearth]

#Dick kicking his feet: Why are YOU in the kitchen? Bruce like it’s the only thing holding him together: Because its where the coffee is.

#Kid. Anybody ever tell you you have the sleeping pattern (or lack there of) of a vigilante?

#And thus - Bruce gets and idea

OP thats one of the funniest origin headcannons of Bruce making Dick Robin (look we all know he didn’t have a choice in canon, and Dick found out or already knew or was told or wahtever that B was Batman, but this one is pretty funny)

[tojisun]

oh but thinking about hungry simon.

simon who is hungry for affection and intimacy; hungry for domestic love, for a family to come home to.

simon who is hungry for the way your voice lilts when you talk to him, curling like you’re crooning to him, like it is something so soft and tender and only meant to be shared with each other.

simon who is hungry for the look in your eyes, all shy and careful—skittish at first, and it was too endearing that simon felt his desire burn brighter, churning in the pit of his stomach, bloating as your nervousness slowly petered away into one of familiarity.

simon who is hungry for you. don’t mind the fact that you’re—

married.

oh, yes. don’t mind the fact that you’re spoken for—simon knows when he is needed. and you? simon’s known that you’ve always needed someone more like him instead of the john doe who you’re married to.

he will save you soon, love.

(he will satiate his hunger soon. and that is the most exciting.)

[nerdpoe]

The Infinite Realms, or the In-Between, is a bit of an odd place in terms of afterlives. Specifically that it's the space between the world of the Living and any of the worlds of the Dead, and as such it's denizens belong to neither.

They have their own culture, their own magic, their own rules, and their own language.

But that's fine.

For you see, Constantine has learned Ghostspeak. This means he can communicate with Ghosts from the Infinite Realms.

He reassures Zatanna and Captain Marvel as such.

Then he turns to speak with Phantom, protector Ghost of Amity Park, and ask him for his help in fighting off the latest bad guy.

Except when he starts talking, the Ghost turns a deep green and sinks into the ground.

Constantine turns to look at his companions, but Captain Marvel has his hands over his ears and is a bright, bright red.

....

What. What just went wrong?

[ailithnight]

It's not even the words themselves. It's the tone and inflections -two critical components for any largely empathic language, especially when you don't have the inbuilt telempathy to reach out with- that makes the whole sentence sound debauched.

It's the difference between 'Hello' and 'hellooo~ 😘'

What John thinks he said: Hey mate. Mind helping us with a little problem? Got one of yours that needs taking care of.

What Danny and Billy heard: heyyy, Mate 😘,, mind helping us with a little... Problem😏😏? Got 🤭 one of yours 🤭 that needs... taking Care of 😏🥰😏🤭😏

[audliminal]

It's Just a Game, Right?

Amity Park is quarantined, thanks to the guys in white, and in the aftermath of Danny's identity being revealed to his entire class, they're all doing their best to make sure someone finds out what's happening to their town before it's too late.

Meanwhile...

All Tim Drake wanted to do was help his boyfriend solve a fun no-stakes internet mystery, so why does this rabbit hole keep becoming deeper, and why does it feel like this isn't a game anymore?

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 10 - Part 11

[sleepyghost000]

Just binged through all 11 parts (currently up) and LOVING IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[veenia]

Sarada Uchiha & Karin Uzumaki

[sleepyghost000]

If you laminate a tortilla, will it mold?

~My Dear Sister's Shower Thoughts