Survival Is Insufficient @sleepysloppysertraline - Tumblr Blog

Song of the Day

you gotta come to the club man drinks are $18 and were all on our phones googling dog surgery

So. Tyr, my dog, is a Great Pyraneese. This is important because this breed is known to be smart. Not in the way a German Shepherd or border Collie is smart, and wanting to please a human; Great Pyrs are independent minded and bred to Be Management of herds when a human might not be around.

Anyway.

It has been very pleasant out. We had the windows cracked and left them cracked when we went to work. This has never been an issue before.

My darling spouse was working on a job in a small town about a mile from our place. He was getting some stuff from the work van when he sees a large white dog prancing along.

"Huh." He thinks. "That looks an awful lot like.....TYR WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE."

Tyr, delighted that she has Found Father, bounds up happily and gets in the work van to give face kisses.

"GIRL NO WHAT." Kev says, scrambling to go let the client know that he has to take the fucking criminal back home real quick.

Turns out she discovered that a window can be shoved open with a determined snoot, and a window screen is not as strong as 80 pounds of muscular dog. And went for an adventure.

I got a call at this point while I was doing payroll.

"BABE WE NEED TO BABY GATE ALL THE FUCKING WINDOWS." My spouse says.

"....okay??" I say, and then get the story. I swore a bunch.

Anyway my dog is a criminal escape artist and we have to baby proof the fucking windows now

systlin

My mom thinks this is the funniest thing ever because I, Age 11, discovered I could remove window screens to climb out my window and climb the house roof to stargaze, which nearly gave her a heart attack when she looked out a window when hearing a noise and saw her fucking child squirreling around on the roof.

"Like mother like daughter" she texted me and then about 20 laughing emojis in a row

systlin

Still not sure if she just happened to be in the little town or if she could hear the sound of his work van. I know she knows our vehicles and the work van by sound because she gets excited a couple minutes before one pulls into the driveway.

Either way, grateful he was there. Idiot ass dog.