welcome to my sillay mind

i draw pictures for fun

[dogpuppy]

[horce-divorce]

"I would never jeopardize the beans" pales in comparison to it's newest successor, "beans r not woke. How could u do this?"

[tennesseewillams]

whatever tho. not like i really care that much because im cool and easy going

[chkq]

the twelve most terrifying words in the english language are: i'm from the government and i'm here to torture you to death

[hungwy]

*strapped to a chair, staring at a screen*

Me: uhhh... white shirt

*I flail in my restraints as electric shocks race through my body*

Intercom: the oversized beige cowboy snoopy shirt was optimal for this outfit. next.

*screen changes*

Me: uhh... ummm... baseball cap

Intercom: which one?

Me: uhhh... Plain black one

*I'm zapped again, longer this time*

Intercom: the denim snoopy baseball cap was optimal for this outfit. Remember, three times in a row and you will fail the test. next.

*screen changes*

Me: *squinting through the sweat dripping into my eyes* D-dress shirt with a little snoopy over the pocket?

Intercom: good. The embroidered snoopy dress shirt shows you mean business but in a fun, approachable way. Next.

[hbmmaster]

[nine-hyacinth]

i'm really enjoying the way that this makes it sound like it's his fault. like it's blaming him

[hadesisqueer]

Two World Cup finalists from opposing teams in this fucking picture, this sport isn't real

[hadesisqueer]

Context for anyone who is wondering: Lamine Yamal's parents won an UNICEF raffle for a charity photoshoot in which Barça players posed with kids, and 5 month old Lamine happened to get 20yo Messi. Which is like. Literally insane

[joyflameball]

[furryprovocateur]

[aheathenconceivably]

thinking about when i mentioned tom and jerry by title alone to my 65 year old father and his only response was to laugh REALLY hard and say "him and that fucking mouse.." while staring into the distance. and then the conversation was over

[contextfreepatentart]

[contextfreepatentart]

[contextfreepatentart]

[contextfreepatentart]

[fluffysheeple]

christian bad driver: my guardian angel watches over me, I don't need to look before I merge

atheist bad driver: I will rely on my own skill to see myself safely home after a mere 8 drinks

agnostic bad driver: no one knows where all these dents and scratches came from

[memorycycle]

first thing id do as a skeleton is drink red wine from a goblet and have it spill out everywhere . second thing id do is play my ribs like a xylophone

[machine-unlearning]

god I'm such a slut for Chinese eggplant in garlic sauce *decides it’s inaccurate to refer to myself as a slut in light of my minimal sexual activity* if The Enemy discovered my ardor for Chinese eggplant in garlic sauce, they would gain a significant strategic advantage

[xylophonetangerine]

I didn't even know they had a category for that