Integrisma turned 10 today!
I'd rather be in outer space đ¸
hello vonnie
almost home
Mike Driver
macklin celebrini has autism

JBB: An Artblog!
RMH
wallacepolsom

ellievsbear
todays bird
Cosmic Funnies

JVL
occasionally subtle
NASA
Game of Thrones Daily
Stranger Things
sheepfilms
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

Love Begins
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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@sma
Integrisma turned 10 today!
FYI : How to Measure Remaining Sunlight With Your Hands
Useful!
Photos Of Parents And Kids At The Same Age
This is insanely beautiful
Grateful to have so many people to remember in those 10 seconds.
Weirdly anti-millennial articles have scraped the bottom of the barrel so hard that they are now two feet down into the topsoil
its so wild like âthis generation with no fucking money is learning to prioritize essentialsâ and all these chucklefucks can write is advertisements for these companies
at least our jeans wonât tear at the seams after two washes
FUCK FABRIC SOFTENER ITâS UTTERLY POINTLESS
AND FUCK DRYER SHEETS LITERALLY NOBODY EVER HAS ENOUGH OF A PROBLEM WITH STATIC TO WARRANT PAYING OUT THE ASS FOR THAT SHIT
DO YOU WANT CLEAN CLOTHES? YOU DONâT EVEN NEED TO BUY FUCKING DETERGENT JUST MAKE YOUR OWN* ITâS SO GODDAMN EASY AND 80X CHEAPER
FUCK THE ENTIRE LAUNDRY INDUSTRY *Fuck The Entire Laundry Industry Recipe
1 cup Washing Soda (not Baking Soda. Different things.)
1 cup Borax (not Boric Acid. Also a different thing.)
½ cup - 1 cup grated bar soap (you can use literally anything. I often use Ivory because itâs easy to get and I find it works well, a lot of people like Fels-Naptha, which is an actual laundry bar. Some people use Dr. Bronnerâs. Really does not fucking matter.) After grating your soap, combine all ingredients. Thatâs it. Thatâs the whole thing. Use maybe a Âź cup per load.
^^^ Iâve done this for years now and it works as well as any store bought detergent
WHAT Thank you, tumblr user awfullydull! Your URL does no justice to the good advice you give!
Also you can MAKE your own washing soda very VERY cheaply.
Step one: acquire $5 bag of baking soda from Costco.
Step two: lay that motherfucking baking soda out on a baking tray.
Step three: bake the baking soda on a tray in an oven at 400° for 1 hour (to make the moisture evaporate, leaving washing soda)
Step four: revel in how easy and cheap it is to make your own washing soda, and maybe take a moment to be angry that the industry upcharges the fuck out of something that is so easy to make.
I see some of y'all complaining about static and/or wanting nice smelling laundry. Go to a craft store, find 100% wool yarn balls. If it doesnât come in a ball, ask an employee to make it into a tight ball for you. Wash in the washing machine to make it felted. Remove from washer, add a few drops of essential oil to the ball, allow to seep in. Dry with clothing. Doesnât need to be rewashed ever, and if it stops smelling, add few more drops of essential oil. Bam, reusable dryer sheets.
I love this post so much itâs filled with helpful advice, hatred, saving money, and fucking the system all in one
Keeping this.
Useful.
I Got A Cat For My Sick And Grumpy Grandpa, And He Turned His Life Upside Down
âIâve been photographing my grandfather, Jiji, since I had no clue how to use a camera. One day, 94-year-old Jijiâs life was turned upside-down by Kinako the cat. Since the War ended, for 64 years, Jiji commuted to his office, but in 2009 he was sent to the hospital. The doctor said he was sick. The once outgoing man gradually lost his interest in life and became grumpier than ever. It was around that time that I brought Kinako to live with us. An extraordinary friendship gradually grew between the two. Who would have thought that a timid kitten would befriend a grumpy old man! The border between human and animal melts, just as shy Kinako melted Jijiâs heart.â
Text/photos by akiko-dupont.com - Via Bored Panda
Cats are magic.
how do you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber
ask them to pronounce âunionizedâ
Holy fuck thats clever
It took me 5 minutes to get this
extremely clever
this joke annoys me because thereâs no way to tell it verballyÂ
I love this joke for the same reason, @ladymalchav
Tom Hiddleston is many things: a beloved Marvel villain, a James Bond short-lister, the leading man in 'Night Manager', and a Taylor Swift ex. Taffy Brodesser-Akner visited London to absorb his English charmâand find out exactly why Tom and Taylor wound up on the rocks so Hiddleswiftly.
BRB, busy reading.
This was well done.
âWe know that athletes, musicians, and actors all have to practice, rehearse, repeat things until it gets in the body, the âmuscle memoryâ but for some reason writers and visual artists think they have to be inspired before they make something, not suspecting the physical act of writing or drawing is what brings that inspiration about.  Worrying about its worth and value to others before it exists can keep us immobilized forever.  Any story we write or picture we make cannot demonstrate its worth until we write or draw it.  The answer cannot come to us any other way.â
-Happy 60th to the glorious Lynda Barry!
Communication requires making - but it's rare that we see that part. So is design, which is why postits have such prominence. Externalizing thought so that it can be seen, challenged, and reworked is key.
What the HELL did they do to the White House website?
Okay weâre going through this bit by bit.
First of all, this is the first thing that pops up when you visit the website:
But wait, it gets worse.
Once you get in, you see that Trumpâs inauguration takes up the entire main page. You know what? Iâm fine with that. I mean it makes sense.
What Iâm not fine with is this:
As of yesterday (Iâm on the Wayback Machine), these are the issues that the Obama Administration listed, leading to pages which went into detail about these issues and what the Administration was doing about them.
Again, thatâs from the Obama Administration.
This is the current Issues Tab under the Trump Administration:
No, I havenât cropped it. Thatâs it. Thatâs the entire list. All of those are the issues that Trumpâs Administration cares about.
The civil rights page? Gone. Climate change page? Gone. Health care page? Gone. Disabilities page? Gone. Itâs all gone. Everything is gone.
They also completely took away all of the pages on Obamaâs initiatives, all of the pages on internships and involvement in the White house, all of the pages on different ways to protest (other than the We The People petitions), and for some reason, they even took out most of the pages in the history section. The famous virtual tour? Gone. A detailed history about the architecture, the decor, even theee customs and traditions? Gone.
 But hereâs the best part.
Most of the âBriefingâ section has been cleaned out as well and the tab for weekly addresses has been completely removed.
Well isnât that justâŚdisturbing?
Itâs worth noting that this happens every presidency, the Obama administrationâs whitehouse.gov will be archived and none of this was taken down by Clownstick himself. Not that it makes me feel ANY better about the next four years, but for once itâs not on DOFUS
So just for you, I spent the past half hour tediously searching through the Wayback Machine.
This was the page Obama had right after he took office after Bush:
Notice how, even though the website changed overnight, he still put in a huge list of issues including virtually every one listed on the website yesterday?
But wait, thereâs more.
I went back and looked at how Bushâs page looked before the Obama Administration changed it. And guess what? Bush had an entire list of issues that resembled the ones listed on the website yesterday.
But wait!
Thereâs more!
Back when the Internet was new and the webpage was just a bunch of text, Clinton had an entire list of issues like the ones listed on the website yesterday.
So, no, this isnât something that always happens. The website changes but the issues have always stayed the same and theyâve always been prominently displayed.
Until now.
People are acting like his team has not had literally the entire transition period to get his webpage together. They didnât get this as a last-second assignment before the inauguration. There is absolutely no excuse for this. Itâs either a complete and total disregard for these issues, or itâs a complete and utter failure to prepare. Both of those are unacceptable.
I love posts like this with the full receiptsâŚ
obama handling the whitehouse page better than trump on day one? absolutely unsurprising.
bush doing the same? actually kinda surprising
bill fucking clinton, 2 decades ago, outdoing trump? jesus christ man
Women have more power and agency in Shakespeareâs comedies than in his tragedies, and usually there are more of them with more speaking time, so Iâm pretty sure what Shakespeareâs saying is âmen ruin everythingâ because everyone fucking dies when men are in charge but when women are in charge you get married and live happily ever after
I think youâre reading too far into things, kiddo. Take a break from your womenâs studies major and get some fresh air.
Right. Well, Iâm a historian, so allow me to elaborate.
One of the most important aspects of the Puritan/Protestant revolution (in the 1590âs in particular) was the foregrounding of marriage as the most appropriate way of life. It often comes as a surprise when people learn this, but Puritans took an absolutely positive view of sexuality within the context of marriage. Clergy were encouraged to lead by example and marry and have children, as opposed to Catholic clergy who prized virginity above all else. Through his comedies, Shakespeare was promoting this new way of life which had never been promoted before. The dogma, thanks to the church, had always been âdurr hburr women are evil sex is bad celibacy is your ticket to salvation.â All that changed in Shakespeareâs time, and thanks to him we get a view of the world where marriage, women, and sexuality are in fact the key to salvation.Â
The difference between the structure of a comedy and a tragedy is that the former is cyclical, and the latter a downward curve. Comedies werenât stupid fun about the lighter side of life. The definition of a comedy was not a funny play. They were plays that began in turmoil and ended in reconciliation and renewal. They showed the audience the path to salvation, with the comic ending of a happy marriage leaving the promise of societal regeneration intact. Meanwhile, in the tragedies, there is no such promise of regeneration or salvation. The characters destroy themselves. The world in which they live is not sustainable. It leads to a dead end, with no promise of new life.
And so, in comedies, the women are the movers and shakers. They get things done. They move the machinery of the plot along. In tragedies, though women have an important part to play, they are often morally bankrupt as compared to the women of comedies, or if they are morally sound, they are disenfranchised and ignored, and refused the chance to contribute to the society in which they live. Letâs look at some examples.
In Romeo and Juliet, the play ends in tragedy because no-one listens to Juliet. Her father and Paris both insist they know whatâs right for her, and they refuse to listen to her pleas for clemency. Juliet begs them â screams, cries, manipulates, tells them outright I cannot marry, just wait a week before you make me marry Paris, just a week, please and they ignore her, and force her into increasingly desperate straits, until at last the two young lovers kill themselves. The message? This violent, hate-filled patriarchal world is unsustainable. The promise of regeneration is cut down with the deaths of these children. Compare to Othello. This is the most horrifying and intimate tragedy of all, with the climax taking place in a bedroom as a husband smothers his young wife. The tragedy here could easily have been averted if Othello had listened to Desdemona and Emilia instead of Iago. The message? This society, built on racism and misogyny and martial, masculine honour, is unsustainable, and cannot regenerate itself. The very horror of it lies in the murder of two wives.Â
How about Hamlet? Ophelia is a disempowered character, but if Hamlet had listened to her, and not mistreated her, and if her father hadnât controlled every aspect of her life, then perhaps she wouldnât have committed suicide. The final scene of carnage is prompted by Laertes and Hamlet furiously grappling over her corpse. When Ophelia dies, any chance of reconciliation dies with her. The world collapses in on itself. This society is unsustainable. King Lear â we all know that this is prompted by Cordeliaâs silence, her unwillingness to bend the knee and flatter in the face of tyranny. It is Learâs disproportionate response to this that sets off the tragedy, and we get a play that is about entropy, aging and the destruction of the social order. Â
There are exceptions to the rule. Iâm sure a lot of you are crying out âbut Lady Macbeth!â and itâs a good point. However, in terms of raw power, neither Lady Macbeth nor the witches are as powerful as they appear. The only power they possess is the ability to influence Macbeth; but ultimately it is Macbethâs own ambition that prompts him to murder Duncan, and it is he who escalates the situation while Lady Macbeth suffers a breakdown. In this case you have women who are allowed to influence the play, but do so for the worse; they fail to be the good moral compasses needed. Goneril, Regan and Gertrude are similarly comparable; they possess a measure of power, but do not use it for good, and again society cannot renew itself.
Now we come to the comedies, where women do have the most control over the plot. The most powerful example is Rosalind in As You Like It. She pulls the strings in every avenue of the plot, and it is thanks to her control that reconciliation is achieved at the end, and all end up happily married. Much Ado About Nothing pivots around a womanâs anger over the abuse of her innocent cousin. If the men were left in charge in this play, no-one would be married at the end, and it would certainly end in tragedy. But Beatrice stands up and rails against men for their cruel conduct towards women and says that famous, spine-tingling line - oh God, that I were a man! I would eat his heart in the marketplace. And Benedick, her suitor, listens to her. He realises that his misogynistic view of the world is wrong and he takes steps to change it. He challenges his male friends for their conduct, parts company with the prince, and by doing this he wins his ladyâs hand. The entire happy ending is dependent on the men realising that they must trust, love and respect women. Now it is a society that it worthy of being perpetuated. Regeneration and salvation lies in equality between the sexes and the love husbands and wives cherish for each other. The Merry Wives of Windsor - here we have men learning to trust and respect their wives, Flastaff learning his lesson for trying to seduce married women, and a daughter tricking everyone so she can marry the man she truly loves. A Midsummer Nightâs Dream? The turmoil begins because three men are trying to force Hermia to marry someone she does not love, and Helena has been cruelly mistreated. At the end, happiness and harmony comes when the women are allowed to marry the men of their choosing, and it is these marriages that are blessed by the fairies.
What of the romances? In The Tempest, Prospero holds the power, but it is Miranda who is the key to salvation and a happy ending. Without his daughter, it is likely Prospero would have turned into a murderous revenger. The Winterâs Tale sees Leontes destroy himself through his own jealousy. The king becomes a vicious tyrant because he is cruel to his own wife and children, and this breach of faith in suspecting his wife of adultery almost brings ruin to his entire kingdom. Only by obeying the sensible Emilia does Leontes have a chance of achieving redemption, and the pure trust and love that exists between Perdita and Florizel redeems the mistakes of the old generation and leads to a happy ending. Cymbeline? Imogen is wronged, and it is through her love and forgiveness that redemption is achieved at the end. In all of these plays, without the influence of the women there is no happy ending.
The message is clear. Without a womanâs consent and co-operation in living together and bringing up a family, there is turmoil. Equality between the sexes and trust between husbands and wives alone will bring happiness and harmony, not only to the family unit, but to society as a whole. The Taming of the Shrew rears its ugly head as a counter-example, for here a happy ending is dependent on a womanâs absolute subservience and obedience even in the face of abuse. But this is one of Shakespeareâs early plays (and a rip-off of an older comedy called The Taming of a Shrew) and it is interesting to look at how the reception of this play changed as values evolved in this society.Â
As early as 1611 The Shrew was adapted by the writer John Fletcher in a play called The Womanâs Prize, or The Tamer Tamed. It is both a sequel and an imitation, and it chronicles Petruchioâs search for a second wife after his disastrous marriage with Katherine (whose taming had been temporary) ended with her death. In Fletcherâs version, the men are outfoxed by the women and Petruchio is âtamedâ by his new wife. It ends with a rather uplifting epilogue that claims the play aimed:
To teach both sexes due equality
And as they stand bound, to love mutually.
The Taming of the Shrew and The Tamer Tamed were staged back to back in 1633, and it was recorded that although Shakespeareâs Shrew was âlikedâ, Fletcherâs Tamer Tamed was âvery well liked.â You heard it here folks; as early as 1633 audiences found Shakespeareâs message of total female submission uncomfortable, and they preferred John Fletcherâs interpretation and his message of equality between the sexes.
So yes. The message we can take away from Shakespeare is that a world in which women are powerless and cannot or do not contribute positively to society and family is unsustainable. Men, given the power and left to their own devices, will destroy themselves. But if men and women can work together and live in harmony, then the whole community has a chance at salvation, renewal and happiness. Â
bitch got TOLD
wow so powerful. Â what film is this?
Lajja. This film is called Lajja. Lajja, in a general translation from Hindi, means Shame.Â
It talks about different women in different situations overcoming the shame instilled by the society to keep them under the control of men.Â
ITâS NOT âPEEKEDâ MY INTEREST
OR âPEAKEDâ
BUT PIQUED
âPIQUED MY INTERESTâ
THIS HAS BEEN A CAPSLOCK PSA
THIS IS ACTUALLY REALLY USEFUL THANK YOU
ADDITIONALLY:
YOU ARE NOTÂ âPHASEDâ. YOU AREÂ âFAZED.â
IF IT HAS BEEN A VERY LONG DAY, YOU AREÂ âWEARYâ. IF SOMEONE IS ACTING IN A WAY THAT MAKES YOU SUSPICIOUS, YOU AREÂ âWARYâ.
ALL IN âDUEâ TIME, NOT âDOâ TIME
âPER SEâ NOT âPER SAYâ
THANK YOU
BREATHE - THE VERB FORM IN PRESENT TENSE
BREATH - THE NOUN FORM
THEY ARE NOT INTERCHANGEABLE
WANDER - TO WALK ABOUT AIMLESSLY
WONDER - TO THINK OF IN A DREAMLIKE AND/OR WISTFUL MANNER
THEY ARE NOT INTERCHANGEABLE (but oneâs mind can wander)
DEFIANT - RESISTANT DEFINITE - CERTAIN
WANTON - DELIBERATE AND UNPROVOKED ACTION (ALSO AN ARCHAIC TERM FOR A PROMISCUOUS WOMAN)
WONTON - ITâS A DUMPLING THATâS ALL IT IS ITâS A FUCKING DUMPLING
BAWL- TO SOB/CRY
BALL- A FUCKING BALL
YOU CANNOTÂ âBALLâ YOUR EYES OUT
AND FOR FUCKâS SAKE, ITâS NOT âSIKEâ; ITâS âPSYCHâ. AS IN âI PSYCHED YOU OUTâ; BECAUSE YOU MOMENTARILY MADE SOMEONE BELIEVE SOMETHING THAT WASNâT TRUE.
THANK YOU.
*slams reblog*
ITâS âMIGHT AS WELLâ. âMIND AS WELLâ DOES NOT MAKE GRAMMATICAL SENSE.
SLEIGHT - DEXTERITY, ARTIFICE, CRAFT (FROM âSLYâ) SLIGHT - VERY LITTLE, FRAIL, DELICATE
ITâS âSLEIGHT OF HANDâ.
CAN I ADD TO THIS TOO?
ITâS NOTÂ âCOULD OFâ, THAT DOESNâT MAKE ANY SENSE WHATSOEVER. ITâSÂ âCOULD HAVEâ. SAME APPLIES TOÂ âSHOULD HAVEâ.
That last mistake gets made because of the contraction âcouldâve.â So if you want the casual there ya go.
Rein and Reign needs onto here.
Other ones iâd includeâŚ
Slight can also be a personal or social attack, as in being slighted by someone. Â This also is not interchangeable with sleight. Â You personally cannot be surreptitiously placed in someone elseâs pocket without anyone noticing.
Technically you can be âphasedâ but this requires a portion of your atoms to be shunted into an alternate dimension or state of matter.
Peeked is what you have done (past tense) if you look over or around an obstacle with the intent of not being seen yourself. Â Peaked is what you have felt (also past tense) when you are unwell or ill.
Also, itâs not âsay la veeâ.  Itâs French.  It is spelled âcâest la vieâ.  Likewise, âtouchĂŠâ not âtouchayâ and for the same reason.
AND FOR FUCKâS SAKEâŚ
IN BDSM, âDOMINANTâ IS THE COLLOQUIAL SHORTHAND USED AS A NOUN INSTEAD OF âDOMINANT MANâ, âDOMINANT WOMANâ, OR âDOMINANT PERSON. OUTSIDE OF THE LIFESTYLE, THE WORD âDOMINANTâ IS TYPICALLY AN ADJECTIVE, LIKE WHEN SOMEONE IS TALKING ABOUT THEIR âDOMINANT HANDâ, I.E. THE HAND THEY WRITE OR DO MOST THINGS WITH.
âDOMINATEâ IS A VERB, AND IS NEVER USED AS A NOUN, OR TO DESCRIBE YOURSELF OR SOMEONE ELSE. YOU ARE NOT A âDOMINATEâ. SOMEONE MAY DOMINATE YOU, OR BE DOMINATED (see the tense change there, ĂĄ la verb!) BY YOU.
YOU. ARE. NOT. A. DOMINATE.
I appreciate all of this except for the screaming caps lock. đ
Also
Taught- to have given instruction
Taut- pulled, stretched tight
Taunt- to jeer or humiliate
THIS!!!
Iâd like to add:
Why do people use the word âprollyâ for âprobably?â Itâs only two letters shorter than the correct spelling. Come on!!!! That one drives me INSANE!
ITâS NOT âPEEKEDâ MY INTEREST
OR âPEAKEDâ
BUT PIQUED
âPIQUED MY INTERESTâ
THIS HAS BEEN A CAPSLOCK PSA
THIS IS ACTUALLY REALLY USEFUL THANK YOU
ADDITIONALLY:
YOU ARE NOTÂ âPHASEDâ. YOU AREÂ âFAZED.â
IF IT HAS BEEN A VERY LONG DAY, YOU AREÂ âWEARYâ. IF SOMEONE IS ACTING IN A WAY THAT MAKES YOU SUSPICIOUS, YOU AREÂ âWARYâ.
ALL IN âDUEâ TIME, NOT âDOâ TIME
âPER SEâ NOT âPER SAYâ
THANK YOU
BREATHE - THE VERB FORM IN PRESENT TENSE
BREATH - THE NOUN FORM
THEY ARE NOT INTERCHANGEABLE
WANDER - TO WALK ABOUT AIMLESSLY
WONDER - TO THINK OF IN A DREAMLIKE AND/OR WISTFUL MANNER
THEY ARE NOT INTERCHANGEABLE (but oneâs mind can wander)
DEFIANT - RESISTANT DEFINITE - CERTAIN
WANTON - DELIBERATE AND UNPROVOKED ACTION (ALSO AN ARCHAIC TERM FOR A PROMISCUOUS WOMAN)
WONTON - ITâS A DUMPLING THATâS ALL IT IS ITâS A FUCKING DUMPLING
BAWL- TO SOB/CRY
BALL- A FUCKING BALL
YOU CANNOTÂ âBALLâ YOUR EYES OUT
AND FOR FUCKâS SAKE, ITâS NOT âSIKEâ; ITâS âPSYCHâ. AS IN âI PSYCHED YOU OUTâ; BECAUSE YOU MOMENTARILY MADE SOMEONE BELIEVE SOMETHING THAT WASNâT TRUE.
THANK YOU.
*slams reblog*
ITâS âMIGHT AS WELLâ. âMIND AS WELLâ DOES NOT MAKE GRAMMATICAL SENSE.
SLEIGHT - DEXTERITY, ARTIFICE, CRAFT (FROM âSLYâ) SLIGHT - VERY LITTLE, FRAIL, DELICATE
ITâS âSLEIGHT OF HANDâ.
CAN I ADD TO THIS TOO?
ITâS NOTÂ âCOULD OFâ, THAT DOESNâT MAKE ANY SENSE WHATSOEVER. ITâSÂ âCOULD HAVEâ. SAME APPLIES TOÂ âSHOULD HAVEâ.
And this is why my students look at me as though Iâm the devil when I try to tell them that no iâm not lying this really is a thing
ITâS âCOULDNâT CARE LESSâ NOT âCOULD CARE LESSâ IF YOU COULD CARE LESS THAT MEANS YOU CARE
WAIT! NOOO!!! THE COFFEE ONE IS WRONG. BOTH OF THOSE ARE COMPLIMENTARY WITH AN âIâ.
COMPLEMENTARY IS SOMETHING THAT GOES WELL WITH. SO A COFFEE COMPLEMENTS A MUFFIN.
YOU ARE NOT A COMPANY PRINCIPLE-- IF YOU ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON IN YOUR COMPANY, YOU ARE ITS PRINCIPAL.
Stephen Colbert is trying to remind us of our common humanity, bless him, and I just keep thinking about all the students I overheard today saying variations of, âYeah, I should vote, but⌠â and knowing it wouldnât have done any good if Iâd confronted them and Iâd probably feel like shit about it, but stillâŚ
Also, OMG, this Stephen Colbert special on Showtime was scheduled for an hour but it only lasted 35 minutes, probably because all his guests were so depressed they couldnât bring themselves to be very funny.
LSSC | 2016.11.08 | Stephen Colbertâs Live Election Night Democracyâs Series Finale: Whoâs Going To Clean Up This Sh*t?
colbert showtime trump
Colbertâs Election Special Was Amazing and Awful Stephen Colbertâs election special on Showtime was supposed to be a big, profane, raucous celebration of the end of a crazy, awful Presidential election. It was supposed to be Colbertâs own burst of freedomâdoing a show on pay-cable, unshackled from the restrictions of network television, he could delightedly introduce himself as âyour host Stephen F***ing Colbert.â
But as the returns continued to roll in, Colbertâs smile began to freeze on his face. By the time he brought on the pundits John Heilemann and Mark Halperinâtwo guys who have proven themselves to be as good a symbol as any of the sucking-up-to-power smugness of the mediaâFlorida had gone to Trump, and Halperin was suddenly trying out his new role as the voice of doom: âOutside of the Civil War, World War II and including 9/11, this may be the most cataclysmic event this countryâs ever seen.â
Because this was live television, and because the election had not yet been called officially for Trump, Colbert was obliged to follow through with some pre-arranged humor. Poor Laura Benanti had to reprise her terrific Melania Trump impersonation, reciting scripted lines that came across as a blur: All anyoneâincluding, it seemed, Benantiâcould think of was the prospect of the Trump Presidency.
Jeff Goldblum came out for an interview that turned into a therapy session. âWhat positive message can we get from tonight?â asked Colbert. Goldblum improvised like the jazz musician he sometimes is, but it ultimately came down to him trying to muster a bit of positivism and saying things like, âI wonât be uninspired by this!â
What happened to previously-announced guests like Patton Oswalt and Katy Perry? Colbert brought out Charlemagne Tha God and comic Jenna Friedman; they looked miserable. Charlemagne Tha God said âWeâre f***edâ over and over. Asked by Colbert how she felt, Friedman said, among other things, âGet your abortions nowââassuming, by implication, that a reconfigured Supreme Court, with the possibility of Roe v. Wade being overturned, is an inevitability.
Colbert had no choice but to become serious. He said, âThis is a moment for people to understand that political involvement is a responsibility.â He said that in retrospect, âWe overdosed on the poisonâ of party divisiveness, and that we should be ashamed to have felt that âthereâs a gentle high to the condemnation.â Of taking political sides and doing political humor, Colbert said, âWhether your side won or lost, we donât have to do this s**t for a while.â That was as close as he could come to comfort, âin the face of something that might strike you as horrible.â
He concluded with an improvised speech about the greatness of this country, and signed off with, âGood night, and may God bless America.â The band played âAmerica The Beautiful.â Colbert sang the lyrics. It was an amazing show, and it was an awful show, because to be anything less than awful in the face of what was befalling him would have been dishonest, and Colbert is an honest man.
Hero.