One day it won't hurt.

Call me Jamie. 23, relieved if ill get to 24. Breathing slow and moving fast. Ink and rambling paragraphs. Others words to make sense of my own mind...

[bob-belcher]

Sure, they’re cute now, but in a second, they’ll get mean. They’re gonna get ugly somehow, then there’ll be a million more…Did you guys ever WATCH the show?

[gosh]

via weheartit

[ampervadasz]

Loooooooong

[daco-broman]

arrested for longitudinal crimes

[ayellowbirds]

dude has an entire dang lynx hanging from his hands like the world’s furriest slinky and there’s people just staring at their computers instead

[kezzoh]

[catchymemes]

[bunjywunjy]

it’s dangerous to go alone, take this

[invaderxan]

when you a words writing and meaning sense make words to

[uncleromeo]

If you hard. Then you hard.

[thatisrad]

You don’t have to fake orgasm to help your partner’s ego. The guy I lost my virginity to wrote a play about the experience, and the character based on me gave a monologue about how she regretted sleeping with him because no one else would ever be that good. So, yeah. Just tell him you didn’t cum. 

[girlsfrommars]

Im sorry he wrote a fucking what

[drinkyourjuiceshelby]

[weavemama]

me after getting kicked off an overbooked delta flight 

[captainnickii]

I am so weakkkk

[reasonablyobsessed-deactivated2]

No you don’t understand tho my dad literally used to do this. Before 9/11, when airport security was way more lax, my dad’s friend ran an airport scam ring with like 30 of his friends. They would literally do this - waltz on in to the airport, find a gate that looked overbooked, and buy a ticket. Because of the slower computer systems, they could get away with buying tickets seconds before a plane was announced to be overbooked, then offer to give up their seats for the cash.

They also all used to fly under my dad’s friend’s name and racked up like millions of frequent flyer miles. They’re pretty sure that at one point, there were five different guys flying under the same name in the air at the exact same time and the airlines just contacted the guy saying “oh there’s been a glitch.”

They never got caught until my dad’s friend got a passive aggressive letter from Delta in his mail THIS YEAR (15+ years after they stopped) basically saying “we know what you did.”

[littleclownzz]

[im-a-goner--foryou]

For those who needed this today.

[dct239394cvvd098dffgggp]

God, the look in his eyes. he means it.

[iwasmotherstupid-deactivated202]

thanks robert 👍

[radiantchlo-deactivated20200926]

[stream]

Men in Black (1997)

[just-shower-thoughts]

Blowing a dandelion is basically you helping a weed ejaculate.

[melly-bell]

I was having a good day. We were all having a good day.

[churchyardgrim]

I mean it’s kind of not, seeds aren’t analogous to sperm, hell, pollen isn’t analogous to sperm, plants don’t do dimorphic gametes like that. a better analogy would be firing a couple dozen fully-formed babies from a tshirt cannon

[lunapics]

Now we’re having a good day again.

[doggosource]

11/10 a good doggo posing for his hooman’s insta 

[baconpolice]

Yall forgot the final product.

[art-woonz]

Art By IG: @bryanthegirl Instagram: @artwoonz

[ai-papi-deactivated20201124]

i’m in this mood where i just want to cuddle with someone and watch our favorite movies together. i just want to feel. i want to touch. i want to laugh. i miss that feeling, sleeping next to someone who really means something to you. waking up next to them the following morning. there’s just something about it thats so sincere, vulnerable and magical. i really love that

[dependablecar]

In terms of being healthy and productive and getting out of bed before 1pm and not eating an entire bag of chips instead of dinner, today was not a success. If I knew I was still going to be like this when I was in my late 30s, I wouldn’t have bothered.

[brain-confetti]

That’s why on the weekends it doesn’t count.