[smiletoe]

Delete all

Empty trash now

Try not to call-

But I don't know how.

Every time I fall I pick myself back up

But when I fell for you I just gave up.

[tsfennec]

Ugh, I hate starting a new painting so much. With sketches, I can push through the “everything is awful and I’ve forgotten how to art” stage fairly quickly. 

Getting an under-painting blocked in and the colors in generally the right areas takes me so much longer and it’s so hard not to just keep trashing it and starting over before I can even get down to the real work. 

(This is one of the reasons I have to keep saving progress shots as I go, though. So I can look back at the earlier stages of pieces I like and remember that, oh yeah, it looks that way every time because you can’t just skip that stage, dummy.) 

[tsfennec]

Occurs to me that this may be a relevant thought for those of you struggling through first drafting/NaNo at the moment and frustrated with the “putting down so many terrible words” part. 

Because this - 

…is the underpainting/“early draft” for this -

And this - 

… is the underpainting/“early draft” for this. 

The beginning’s going to look flat and dumb and maybe have wonky perspective and all the wrong colors. But you know what? Those are the things that you need in order to lay down those later layers that’ll make it what it’s supposed to be, that picture you had in your head. 

Or at least… closer to that. 

Some “first drafts” will look better than others, and everyone’s first drafting process looks different, but don’t get caught up in discouragement when those early stages look bad. It’s all part of the process. 

[quotesilove2013]

“Don’t be afraid to lose people. Be afraid of losing yourself by trying to please everyone around you.”

—

[goodreadss]

““Those who don’t believe in magic will never find it.””

— Roald Dahl

[wnq-writers]

“I have lived one step away from losing my mind for years. I am quick and accurate in spotting unstable streaks in others.”

— Charlaine Harris, Shakespeare’s Landlord

[smiletoe]

I wash the mess off my face

And sadness tends to follow-

Jumping is my last act of grace,

Because without emotions, I'm hollow.

When I hit the concrete

I'm finally shattered;

It's complete-

No more being bruised and battered.

[quotemadness]

“Your only problem, perhaps, is that you scream without letting yourself cry.”

— Friedrich Nietzsche

[smiletoe]

They

She is the concrete

And he is the rain

She is the track

And he is the train.

[smiletoe]

Fear

At a young age

I learned there are scarier things

Than dark figures, demon's rage,

And what the night brings.

[smiletoe]

Magnified

How is it bright

When the sky is a cloud?

And when all is silent

How is my mind so loud?

[smiletoe]

Masking

I am not me

But how can this be?

Oh that's right,

I don't shed any light

On how I think and feel

But this mask won't peel.

[smiletoe]

Feeling

I'm sick of this feeling;

A feeling that can't be named.

I stare at the ceiling,

Why can't this be tamed?

[smiletoe]

Why

Why should I hide?

Why should I cry?

I have worked and tried.

I seem to always lie:

I'm okay.

I don't want to talk about it.

I had a good day.

I just happened to forget.

Why?

What have I to lose

By being honest?

Who might I amuse

When I'm at my rawest?

What might happen

If I didn't trap in

Where I've been?