smackwriter @smkwriter - Tumblr Blog

The official Wordpress for Sara Megan Kay, poet and author.

My writing blog.

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Vent:

A new and suddenly very dear friend has been, putting it very lightly, going through hell. We last spoke on Sunday. His phone is his only lifeline, and it was off by Tuesday, my last messages unread after Sunday night. Not like him.

He warned me a couple of times that if he ever suddenly stopped contact, with the senseless crime he sees in his area on a daily basis, it would likely mean he was dead. I laughed it off then, and for the last few days, I’ve been terrified that his words might have come true. I haven’t known him long, but the idea of a world without his strength and fire left me feeling strangely heartbroken.

I kept praying because I didn’t want to believe he was gone. Meanwhile, my heart was growing new scar tissue over him and preparing for the worst.

I scoured the internet for crime news in his area, trying to find word. Nothing. No death notices. I was frantic. He is in the UK. I felt so powerless to do anything and I HATE that feeling.

I wanted more than anything to hear his voice, to hear his response to my last voice message, which basically took me through the first three stages of grief in order to record it. I wanted to hear his big, hearty laugh, for him to call me a silly woman, and sweetly put me in my place for worrying so much. Then we’d laugh together and for one moment we would feel at peace. I prayed to God, please help him. Please keep him safe.

The universe must have felt my distress calls long enough. This morning I woke up to emails and a PayPal request for a penny (the most creative way anyone has ever contacted me) telling me he is safe. He’s been through a lot. Wanted to know if I(!) was okay. He missed me.

He borrowed a friend’s phone later to message me and call me for a couple of minutes. She didn’t take too kindly to that 😂 she was a spitfire.

Today I sang along with the songs playing in the car for the first time this week. The incoming fog bank felt like heaven. I know this world still has him in it. As long as that’s the case, everything will be okay. It’s a long road ahead, but he’ll get through this.

I believe in this man. Praying every night for his protection. God bless and protect my Future Man.

#confession #true off my chest #I love him #future man

versesofourhearts

-versesofourhearts

smkwriter

20 years of investing in a relationship with you…I loved you. Now I think about you and feel absolutely cold. My flight response wants to kick in.

#i don’t love you #I’m sorry

revned

I’ve seen multiple takes from people who haven’t read Emily Brontë’s Wuthering Heights saying things like “why can’t people just go to the movies to have fun” about the film and I want to put this in perspective. This book is about racism, toxic codependency, domestic violence, grief, generational trauma, child abuse, and revenge. Wuthering Heights was not written to be a “fun” experience. Catherine dies. Her daughter gets abused by the man she loved. Her sister in law gets abused by the man she loved. Her nephew gets abused by the man she loved. Heathcliff is not “lover goals” he is scary, obsessed, angry, violent, half insane toward the end of the book because his entire life was filled with racism and the only person he believed to have loved him died very young. What about any of those plot points screams “we’re having fun” to anyone? Turning those parts of the story into smut and BDSM tropes is insane. People are allowed creative liberties, but erasing every meaningful plot point from the source material about overcoming abuse and replacing it with sex and submissive behavior from incredibly strong characters is absolutely not a good use of free will. She should’ve posted this shit to literotica and saved everyone the trouble of having to explain this.

thefudge

Thoughts on “Wuthering Heights”?

have not watched it yet, but given everything i have seen and know about it, i highly doubt i will like it, even as a bizarro "what if i adapted wuthering heights wrong just to please myself" sort of thing that fennell is doing. my biggest pet peeve about this whole thing is not the aesthetic or the tone, because fine, she's draping it in this heightened, self-indulgent style. i don't agree, but okay.

what i can't get over is the casting. i simply can't take it seriously. there is no universe in which margot robbie is cathy to me, even emerald fennell-self-insert-cathy. it just doesn't work. not only does margot robbie look like a much older woman, but there was absolutely no effort made to evoke the rugged, untamed nature of cathy - she looks plump-lipped and perfectly made-up and like she's just stepped out of her monthly hyaluronic acid shot session. in the few clips of the film that i've seen, jacob elordi as heathcliff (and i'll get to him) is still talking to her as if she were that wild cathy who is soon going to be "civilized" by the lintons. when no, this is margot robbie looking glam and high cheek-boned and ready for the red carpet premiere. there's nothing there, not even a whiff of historicity, not even a sign of a person living under different times. not even the shape of a character, frankly. and it sucks because i like margot robbie. but she's just been left to flounder in this part just because emerald fennell sees herself in her.

and as for jacob elordi, while he's less miscast than margot robbie, he's operating under the same premises as robbie, which is to fit emerald's fantasy of heathcliff. and emerald's fantasy is a heathcliff who errr is not very white because he's aussie, i guess? and maybe in a certain light he looks italian? something. it's not a serious engagement with the novel. it's not even a serious engagement with her own desires, imo. she's not interrogating or delving into anything. she just thought jacob elordi was hot in her last film, saltburn. and she wanted to see a similar looking blonde make out with him. as many ppl have pointed out, she could've just gone for a new IP and called it a day. true, margot robbie and jacob elordi still wouldn't have had chemistry, but at least this whole thing would've been more honest and less obnoxious. oh, and of course she has gone with "blind" casting for the rest of the characters, so that we have a desi edgar linton and an asian nelly, but all meaningless and self-congratulatory because look, she doesn't think everyone should be white. it's just very aggravating. and i think that's exactly what she was hoping for. to cause a scene and stir shit up and make people want to see it out of spite, or curiosity. and i, for one, am disappointed, because i thought she was a smarter filmmaker than that. but as some folks have already pointed out in reviews, she keeps trying to give us this bdsm freak aesthetic, but at heart her vision is bland.

that said, if i do end up watching the film and i find anything redeeming in it, i will write about it here. i'm sure the cinematography and direction will be beautiful, if nothing else.