thoughts

Professional shitposter, occasional plant biologist

[smokingpotatostuff]

If you need me, you can usually find me naked in front of my fridge at 3am drinking milk straight from the carton

[smokingpotatostuff]

I am otherwise unavailable. You can reach me by phone or email, but I shall not respond.

[loontattoo]

being vulnerable and admitting I don't understand a reference

[homunculus-argument]

We need to isolate and start selectively breeding the plastic eating bacteria so we can optimise their efficiency, and then somehow splice their DNA into the gut bacteria of an obligate carnivore, so we can put it in our cats gut biomes so they'll finally be free of having to choose between whether they want to eat plastic or whether they want to live.

[o-lei-o-lai-o-lord]

Not to brag or anything, but I did successfully complete two chores I should’ve gotten done weeks ago, sooo

[superdynamo]

back pain

[superdynamo]

back pain

[superdynamo]

back pain

[dankxsinatra]

[roxylalonde]

[skarchomp]

USING A HITACHI WAND TO JERK OFF IN YOUR 20'S: lol "back massager" yeah right they knew what this was really gonna be used for USING A HITACHI WAND ON YOUR BACK AFTER AN 8-HOUR SHIFT IN YOUR 30'S: ooo heaven is a place on my spine

[musicforyourplants]

[boy-matt-deactivated20181204]

*slams reblog*

[ariesaav]

Klezmer dolphins.

[willcub-deactivated20180521]

I don’t know that I’ve reblogged anything faster in my entire tumblr life.  

[peanutbutterandjeri]

This is how humans and animals should coexist

[highlandvalley]

Sound on

[spiribia]

It probably is kind of fun to be a parent bird and find big fat bugs to put in your child’s goalpost mouth. And the more you do it the larger your baby gets, which shows your progress. Mine is reaally big, think I’m going to get a high score this time. It has a unique skin too, I’ve never even seen this one before. Has anyone gotten that one, dark brown and white belly with stripes? It’s not even in my Wrenpedia, it has to be a really special unlock

[spiribia]

I’d appreciate if you didn’t call my child a “parasite”, thank you very much! Typical r/childfree

[segamascott]

[ovenroastedtwerkey]

another $15 million to transgenders

[zooophagous]

Play with me God damn it

[plaguedocboi]

Petite, polite, and patient. He fucken READY

[mamoru]

disease that periodically gifts you a clothe or perhaps a blanket. fibermyalgia

[did-you-know]

The oldest living tree ever found was a pine named “Prometheus.” It had been alive since before the Egyptian pyramids were built. Some guy cut it down in 1964. Source

[aclockworknick]

he was actually a forestry graduate student who was doing research on bristlecone pines (Pinus langaevea) and got his increment borer stuck in the tree. this tool costs almost $800, so he asked the forest service if he could cut down the tree to recover the tool. after cutting it down, it became apparent that the tree was actually the oldest living organism. ever. (around 8,000 years old). so, not just some asshole. the guy feels extremely guilty and has even broken down in tears during an interview about the accident

[wellshitcaitlin]

OH MY GOD SO LET ME TELL YOU A STORY

So after the grad student cut down the tree and discovered it was the oldest tree in the world he quit studying forestry and went to study salt flats (can’t cut down the oldest trees in the world on salt flats no siree none of that happening) and he was being interviewed about his research, but in the middle of the interview the reporter just stops and says “wait aren’t the guy that…”

And he just takes off running. Literally. Turns around and runs across the salt flats away from the interview and I feel so bad for him but I can’t help but start crying I’m laughing so hard about it imagine a guy high tailing it across salt flats away from a dude with a recorder

[thoughtsofadame]

its so different to know it was an accident and that NO ONE was aware until after. its not like this was one ignorant guy cutting down a fucking relic.

[spiritunwilling]

At the dragon boat races they were giving out free ice cream and these two kids came up to me and showed me their ice cream and said it is very cold! And then one of them put their ice cream on my arm so I could see for myself. He was utilizing an advanced technique called. Backing up your claims with evidence. Which many of you could learn about