for d&d shenanigans and general gayness, follow @anxietiefling. this is more of a backup blog for stuff that i want to bookmark. internet crap drawer indeed.
anyways (I say this as someone who is deeply critical of the united states government, military, unchecked capitalism, police, etc) I am SICK of people treating america as if it has no cultural value or positives so….. I love u 85 million acres (bigger than italy) of national parks. I love u harlem renaissance. I love u groundhogs day. I love u sweet tea and fried chicken and jambalaya. I love u apple cider donuts and maizes on crisp autumn days. I love u 95k miles of coastlines and new england fisherman and hand knitted sweaters. I love u halloween where millions of people dress up and give candy to strangers and carve jack o’lanterns. I love u small talk and small towns and potlucks and bringing over casseroles to your struggling neighbors. I love u cowboys and ranch hands and arizonian cactus. I love u appalachian trail and dirtbikes and divebars. I love u sparklers and fireflies. I love u mark twain and toni morrison and emily dickinson and henry david thoreau. I love u rock n roll i love u bluegrass and hippies i love u jimi hendrix and nirvana and CCR and janis joplin. I love u victorian houses and jonny appleseed and john henry and mothman and bigfoot. I love u foggy days in the pacific northwest and neon signs and roadside attractions. I love u baseball and 1950s diners and soft serve. I love u native american art and pop art and poptarts. I love u blue jeans and barbecues and jazz musicians
As a principled feminist I'm often tempted to say shit like "are men capable of higher thought" but then I have to remember not to perpetuate gender essentialism and change it to "why do men choose not to think about anything"
Look, it's simple. If a person has to actively work to make money, they're not "the rich" and they're not the problem. A surgeon making $200k a year still stops making money if they stop showing up to do surgery, because they're still selling their labor. The radical discrepancies in how we value different skills are certainly a problem, but the guy who makes money when he doesn't even get out of bed is the one making money on the value of other people's labor.
i walk out of the shower, and bam, first thing im greeted with is my cat gagging. four seconds into being clean, and barf is already making its way back into my life.
my first thought is to "take the bullet for the president." the bullet of course being cat yack, and the president being the thick luxurious carpets of my bedroom.
i discard this thought. im clean. i like being clean. i have been clean for only four seconds.
my second thought is to remember that there is a large, plastic sheeted area in the corner near the cats food bowl. ms. kitty is a messy eater, so she has to eat on the sheet.
i grab my cat and toss it across the room onto the sheet. i feel like im throwing a live grenade out of my trench. cat drives heaves once in my arms, then throws up in midair, approximately one foot out of my grasp.
i watch the barf fly in the same arc as my cat. conservation of momentum. theres not much velocity imbued by peristalsis.
both land at the same time. vomit splats. cat lands gracefully. she turns around, looks at me with total serenity, and throws up a second time. still on the plastic. i tell her that shes a great cat for staying still to do that. she does not give a shit.
i get some dirty clothes out of my laundry hamper and pile them up so she can sit on them. she loves dirty laundry. cats are nasty like that. i clean up the barf and she watches with interest. i have tossed her across the room, and now, stolen her barf. i am utterly befuddling to her. she tolerates me though because i give good scritches.
i toss the vomit soaked paper towels into the trash and come back with a bowl of bottled water (she has preferences) and a cat squeezy treat. she accepts three sips of water but declines the treat. very reasonable. i go back downstairs and put the treat in a ziplock in the fridge so she can have it tomorrow. i come back and shes trotting on her wheel.
i ask how long shes been able to do that. she doesn't answer - in part because she is a cat, but mostly because she is an asshole. she just keeps jogging. i turn to walk away and she meows at me to spin the wheel faster.
i do not. i go upstairs and play halo. a few minutes later she comes and sits next to me before falling asleep.
okay so, guy at work, who i find out afterwards is famous at this place for being a sex pest, comes up and starts with what i also learn is his favorite opener to conversations where he’s going to be a sex pest, namely: “Do you know where the term ‘blow job’ comes from?”
and here he made his first fatal error. his moment of hubristic sex pesting. because of course i know where the term blow job comes from, i love learning about sex and the history of sexual terms! i know so much about oral sex that i could write a book on it!
his second error: approaching a little autistic freak with what he intended to be an uncomfortable sex question that would make me feel weird and gross. Friends, Romans, Countrymen, I Have Never Misjudged A Man’s Intentions So Incredibly In My Life. because i did not realize he was trying to harass me. because i love talking about sex facts, albeit not usually at work. unless. someone prompts me. my coworkers are the kind of people who are generally online enough to know terms, but not exactly what they mean, and they realized they could ask me a while back and get good answers without the resulting awkwardness because i do not experience shame. i am primed to answer questions like the one he has proposed.
So I Answered It.
and well, really, what happened is that I began answering it, then realized the answer required a bit more context. I mean, you can’t just say “oh, well, the term first appears in writing in the 1940s” without first explaining that ‘blow’ by itself already had sexual connotations for centuries, and then, really, are we talking about the origin of the term or the origin of the act. and well we have a ton of literature and art depicting fellatio throughout human history, did you know a lot of it was men performing it on other men? oh, that reminds me, there are a multitude of latin words for oral sex performed on penises, and hold on let me quote you the entirety of catullus 16 from memory and explain it’s fascinating insights into the roman world of homosexuality-
i do not know how to turn any of this ^ off, by the way. i’m sure some people out there have a switch that disables their infodumping mid-speech. i do not. and i also didn’t realize he wasn’t looking for a real answer until my other coworker explained so hours later. he could not excuse himself from the conversation he started, and i made a conservative man at least 30 years older than me to listen to my catullus recitation. i will sodomize and facefuck you, indeed.
anyway, i think i got a bad grade in being sexually harassed. my pro tip is maybe don’t start with what a very autistic individual will misconstrue as you earnestly asking them to explain sex to you. the special interest shield will cause splashback damage.
I think with ozempic what really sets it apart on a marketing level is it’s the first weight loss medication or treatment to really say “we believe you, you’re not fat because you suck and have no willpower you’re fat because you’re genetically inferior but we can fix that now!” and they’re saying this to people who have probably been told since the age of maybe 6 or 7 that having cellulite made them spiritually feeble and morally evil. You can’t reasonably counter that kind of approach by saying “but I love fat butches though” like you need a disability informed approach that actively challenges any notions of health as tied to morality in any way. Otherwise you’re basically just shooting a nerf gun at an armoured tank. Charming as fat butches may be
This is the like those “remember to be grateful you don’t have a sore throat right now” posts. It IS a beautiful day to not be in high school! Thank you!
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