¯\_(ツ)_/¯

im smol and i try to be mello

[thebootydiaries]

bug: *touches my arm*

me: *chops off my arm*

[horreurscopes]

there is literally no logical, emotional, aesthetic, philosophical, moral, or sexy reason for the sun to be gone at 4.30 pm 

[another-exclus]

Vampires can come out earlier

[daddys-blunt-little-instrument]

One sexy reason

[gay-hamlet]

just remembered that chuck palahniuk quote

[gay-hamlet]

“your handwriting. the way you walk. which china pattern you choose. it’s all giving you away. everything you do shows your hand. everything is a self portrait. everything is a diary.” going off the rails my good folks

[ladeedadala]

Some of you have never been that kid that was always reading books and now people still think you read literature but you’ve just been reading the same plot of a blonde and brunette falling in love for five years and it shows

[beiguangst]

I-

[thorkidumpster]

OKAY LISTEN–

[unfortunatelyevent]

I didn’t came here to be called out like this

[mylastvow]

Okay, but, how dare you?

[autumnrose40]

h.o.w d.a.r.e y.o.u.

[aenariasbookshelf]

okay, now wait just one minute there –

[j0rrated]

i have NPC energy cause most of my replies consist on

ok

NICE

hell ye!

no…….

yes?

sdfghjhghjkjDFGHJKGHJJDFGSS

thank you so much!

fuck!

[j0rrated]

more reasons im a NPC:

if i stand still for too long i start doing idle animations 

will only talk to people if they start conversation first 

my walking speed is too fast to be walking and too slow to be running

if you talk to me too many times i start repeating dialogue

if you do a small favor for me i will follow you around without questions

i will drop a lot exposition if you ask

sometimes i get stuck on doors

you may stand in a straight line from me holding a corpse but its more than 10 meters so i will not notice

low HP

[tokai-teio]

[thunderthightning-deactivated20]

i was playing scrabble and i had a B, U, R, G, E, and R and i thought “aha burger, one who burgs, but my mom will never accept that as a word” but then i remembered burger is actually a word

[lifewasted]

one time I played the word “am” and I thought, they can totally let that slide because of AM radio and A.M time.

then i remembered 

[undefindatawsome]

Scrabble does things to your mind that you can never come back from.

[mypartnersaysimcute]

I once was playing and put down ‘cow’ but in my mind I was saying it so it rhymed with ‘crow’ and I told my friend that it might not be a real word but I’m playing it and he can’t stop me and he looked me right in the eye and said it like how ‘cow’ is supposed to be said and I was so mad at myself I nearly flipped the board.

[savanacondadont]

My brother played the word ‘scrabble’ and my mom said, “I actually don’t think that’s a word.” And I said, “yes it is? ‘scrabbled eggs’???”

[neonprotagonist]

modern deadly sins

finding an internet personality attractive

booting up sims just to play god and torture your sims

vagueing about someone, blocking them when they confront you, and adding them to your dni

rewatching the same thing on netflix over and over again instead of doing something else

lo fi youtube livestreams

claiming that your music taste is super unusual but its like, hozier and gorillaz

ruining a dnd session by attempting to fuck/kill/steal from anything that moves cause u thought itd be funny

[insomniac-arrest]

bard is a combat class which is true bc I’ve never met anyone in marching band that didn’t want to throw down

[tyrannosaurus-rex]

playing tuba in marching band means you can power walk 2 miles backwards on your toes in 16 minutes whithout bending your knees while carrying a 35lb blunt metal object with your arms held at right angles and blasting every extra gulp of oxygen you can spare without asphyxiating to make sounds loud enough to deafen the dead in an an act of pure unchristian violence, your bard is the party member who will teach you how to kill god by example

[doggirlpaws]

I read that capsaicin makes your mouth feel like it's burning because it increases your nerve sensitivity to heat, and menthol works by doing the same thing to cold

So if I eat a habanero pepper and then chew a bunch of breath mints they'll each other out and I'll be fine

[doggirlpaws]

Hey guess what hellfire tastes like

[nudibranchparty]

Fun fact! The nerve endings for "ouch too hot" and "ouch too cold" are different! Which means that they can both be activated at once, without cancelling out. Rip OP.

[oumaimas]

lately there have been too many days like in a row

[sapphicxsunflower]

this makes so much sense while not making sense whatsoever

[midnight-spectrum-again]

the days just dont stop

[leafinsect-deactivated20201122]

i dont know why i did this but

[parkchanwoohoo]

you ever talk to someone and instantly realize that they don’t view themselves as a person, they view themselves as “The Protagonist,” and they don’t view you as a person either, but as “Extra #2 (Used in Backstory Exposition)” or “Background Character #8 (Dialogue: “Whoa, that thing you can do is really cool”)

[parkchanwoohoo]

and like, it’s so painfully obvious when you say something “off-script” to their bizarre fantasy wherein you just exist to ask more and more probing questions so that they can continue to monologue to an invisible audience. like they have no patience for anything you have to say unless they can use it as a springboard for some quip

[mercenaries]

i, for one, am applauding tumblr’s brave decision to not let anyone see what the fucks going on

[mercenaries]

it’s your tumblr notes as they were always meant to be viewed: not at all

[exeggcute]

any comparison between early 00s online youth culture and late 10s online youth culture is fundamentally incompatible as soon as you move beyond the similarities of "lol teens being cringey" or whatever because we are in a completely different media landscape these days. making heavily-edited cosplay tiktoks is nothing like curating a deviantart gallery full of anime blingees because the former is always, implicitly or explicitly, an attempt to cash in on internet fame while the latter was simply rooted in the deep twisted psyche of someone feasting on the dark side's cookies

[the-witches-glossary]

Ma fiancée a mentionné que lorsque je blogue davantage en allemand et en français, j'attire plus d'adeptes du même âge. Elle a raison Donc, si vous êtes une sorcière française ou allemande, contactez-nous!

[lifeafterpsychiatry]

For every person who thinks you're "too quiet" there's one who thinks you're an amazing listener. For every person who thinks you're "too clingy" there's one who loves how much and how openly you care about others. For every person who thinks you're "too weird" there's one who admires how you dare to stand out from the crowd. For every person who thinks you're "too sensitive" there's one who respects you for being so in touch with your feelings. For every person who thinks you're "too confident" there's one who thinks your self respect is an inspiration. What's a negative trait in one person's eyes might be exactly what someone else is looking for. It's not black or white.

[gmbencompetence]

According to the song Seasons of Love from RENT, there are 525,600 minutes a year.

One line later, there are “525,000 Moments so dear”.

So, doing the math, we can glean that there are 600 moments which aren’t so dear.

And I think I just used one of them by walking in on my boss who forgot to lock the bathroom stall.

[therothwoman]

this post did not even remotely go in the direction I was expecting it to

[otherwindow]

Demons need to sin. 

Unlike humans, a demon’s celestial origin as a fallen angel gradually absolves their bodies of sin, restoring their divinity - and the heavenly chains that bound them. 

Demons live to lie, and lie to live.

[otherwindow]

demon: [growing a halo because they didn’t sin for a month] demon: fuck god halo: [shrinks and falls to the ground like a coin]