evil thought of the day: what if buck shuts down and decides he has to figure out how to deal with his trauma himself because he hears someone (for example, eddie reassuring chris) saying that buck never gives up? and he realizes that not only does he not know who he is anymore, but he thinks that he’s betrayed everyone he loves AND failed at the thing that makes buck buck by giving up even for a moment, even if it was for the right reasons. and he feels a kernel of guilt growing every time he feels the distance between how his loved ones see him and how he’s seeing himself until eddie tries to convince him to let him in by saying that he knows buck and he never gives up on anything. and buck snaps and says you don’t know me at all then. because i DID give up.
