Specialis Revelio

A snaperdoodle is a greasy cookie made of misery and loathing. Ali is also made of misery and loathing.

[funnystories]

funny story

when I was little, I would go on Nickelodeon.com all the time and they had this game similar to club penguin except it was called Nicktropolis. and if you forgot your password, a security question you could choose was “what is your eye color?” and if you got it right it’d tell you your password. so I would go to popular locations in Nicktropolis and write down random usernames who were also in those areas, and then i would log out and type in the username as if it were my own and see which of these usernames had a security question set to “what is your eye color?” (which was most of them, since it was easy and we were all kids). i would then try either brown, blue, or green, and always get in, then I would go to their house and send all of their furniture and decorations to my own account’s. and if it I didn’t want it, i could sell it for money

[khanos-deactivated20170219]

I love robbery and fraud

[pupu-platter]

[danisnotonfires]

[quidsecrets]

“Shout out to the Mid-Atlantic Region for being a group full of nice and supportive people. #squidtitanic”

[quidsecrets]

“ #freeruq”

[someone-inconspicuous]

[warriorsatthedisco]

Its called the Death Waltz, and was written as a joke but people have attempted it on piano.

[earth-horn-blog]

Saxes move downstage.

[glitchyghostboy]

I’ll just leave this here.

[tyleroakley]

SWEET JESUS CLICK THAT

[endoshan]

[spoopy-eneko]

the added directions are great. ‘insert peanuts’ ‘gradually become irritated’ ‘cresc., or not’ ‘untie slip knot’ ‘bow real fast, slippage may occur’

[ebi-chi]

Release the penguins

[princebxte-deactivated20151102]

Oh I got a shirt with this on it, and people would endlessly stare at it

[sasstablook]

duck

[hammerings-deactivated20230414]

boss stage music

[uwannagom8]

Always reblog the Death Waltz. Always.

[tricksterbae]

LIKE A DIRIGIBLE

[acreaturecalledgreed]

vampire memes

turning into a swarm of rats mid sentence while talking to someone

debating with your friends what bloodtype a human is based on arbitrary things (ie: “see, he just picked his nose when he thought no one was looking DEFINTELY a type-O” “oh fuck off we both know thats an AB move”)

citing “conservation of mass” as the reason you can turn into one (1) wolf but several rats or bats

Counting The Ceiling Tiles Game, Extreme Version (or, for that matter, ANY counting game, Extreme Version)

holding entire conversations with someone while standing on the ceiling and vehemently avoiding acknowledging or explaining why you are on the ceiling

almost getting yourself killed because you just couldnt stand not knowing what garlic bread tasted like even a second longer

“i need an entire extra closet, just for my eccentric cloaks” “what about your eccentric coats?” “two extra closets-” “what about your eccentric shawls?” “three extra closets-” “what about-” (repeat for as long as your friend can keep coming up with swishy articles of clothing)

feel free to add more

[xehanortsreport]

telling knock knock jokes while actually knocking at the door until the owner of the house you are trying to enter gets tired enough to give up and invite you in

[acreaturecalledgreed]

looking in the mirror and loudly announcing “oh my god i look AMAZING”

[luukeskywalker]

may i just quietly leave this here

[sarallis]

@endreal

[stephencolbertly]

Last Week Tonight covers an inappropriate analogy for the refugee crisis.

[invincibree]

So my sisters show was like 30 seconds too short so they had my friend Matthew do a long buzz roll to a chord and then do a stick trick at the end but he dropped his stick by accident so he dropped his other stick on purpose like a fucking god I’m dead I love him

[coolglasseskyle]

WHAT. A . HERO.

[official-mellophone]

Genius

[cteaann3-deactivated20210205]

Why are his arms so long tho

[barthvader]

is this a metaphor ?

[lostwednesdays]

Guys who think periods are nbd are my favorite guys.

Also:

[writing-prompt-s]

necromancers used to identify themselves to each other by wearing edgy graphic tshirts along the lines of “I see dead people” and “normal people scare me”. But slowly their enemies have been infesting fashion with these tshirts to confuse and break up the necromancers. You, a lover of hot topic, have been confused for a necromancer and are brought into their ranks.

[nothingnothingnothingnada]

I got some things to say.

[onceland]

[antinasa-deactivated20260407]

relevant 

[bisexualpiratequeen]

Once a boy looked very sadly at me after a little bit of conversation. ‘you’re so smart’ he said, ‘I feel like I couldn’t keep up’. And then he did that sad boy face where you’re supposed to agree to tone yourself down. So I said ‘probably’ and fucked his mate.

[bisexualpiratequeen]

some top advice from a slut, here, 90% of the time when some boy looks sad and tells you you’re too ‘x’ to keep up with it’s a ploy to get you to cut bits off yourself so you can come down to his mediocre level; instead, agree with him and fuck his mate

[dirtychaifrappe-deactivated2023]

Nordstrom’s to Ivanka

[ruinedchildhood]

[never-not-reblog]

so i see some people talk about veggietales sometimes and typically its with nostalgia

but i think some people dont realize that they predicted the existence of shitpostgenerator 12 years ahead of its time

look

yea true shit larry said that

ITS THE SAME STYLE OF BULLSHIT HUMOR

fucking praise veggietales its the fucking nostradamus of its age

heres the vid if you think im making this up