h

[twinyardz]

the thing is, i think kevin is a manipulative character, and i also think it’s one of the most interesting things about him. i mean, you would have to be, if you grew up unable to put even a wall between yourself and your sadistic, pseudo-incestuous brother/best friend/abuser/co-sufferer – someone who was volatile and prone to moments of extreme, unprovoked violence towards both you and the only other person you cared about. it didn’t matter whether it was kevin or jean that riko’s violence was directed at, kevin would be there to feel, watch or participate in it either way, witness to every new method of torture that riko inflicted on his perfect court.

forbidden and unwilling to leave riko’s side, i think kevin knew painfully well the influence his every word and action had on riko’s mood (and, consequently, on his and jean’s wellbeing). he also knew, though, that he was the best – perhaps the only – person able to tame riko’s ire, distracting him; pleading with him; catching a bad mood before it could fester. it didn’t always work (each time evidence of his own failure, he thought), but it was the only strategy for survival he had, and the only person riko cared about enough for it to mean anything. he spent 10 years perfecting the routine, watching riko’s every minute facial expression, every racket clutched too tight or locked slammed too hard, listening for that tell-tale dip in tone or hitch in his words that meant danger for them both.

anticipating what riko wanted before he even asked for it became a key tool in kevin’s arsenal, a way to manage riko’s violence and leverage the small bit of power he had in the nest. unable to express his own desires or agency, he learned to use riko’s wants against him, exploiting those things he knew mattered to riko – exy, his reputation, his status, his father, the master’s anger – to repackage kevin’s own desires: studying history, protecting jean, admiring the trojans, all justified through a carefully constructed raven framework that riko would accept.

it makes complete sense to me that kevin continues to use this survival strategy on other characters. he tells neil outright: ‘when you know what someone wants, it’s easy to manipulate them’ (p.339). jean echoes kevin’s willingness to exploit his desire in tsc, confessing that kevin knew he would ‘do anything’ for him and ‘used it against jean in the end, begging jean to distract riko’ while he made his escape (p.31). time and time again, kevin leverages what other characters want – kevin, for jean, a reason to live, for andrew, exy, for neil – to get them to do what he needs them to do: for jean to distract riko and allow him to escape, for andrew to play, for neil to do the kathy interview. all of which, ultimately, allows him to do what he really wants – which is to keep them all alive.

it’s this same logic that he inverses in keeping the knowledge of who his father is from wymack. kevin knows jean, neil, and andrew, he knows how to manipulate them and keep the ball in his court. he barely knows wymack, especially not when he turns up at his hotel room, and is terrified of him as a coach either way. kevin knows the power of the knowledge that he’s sitting on and has no idea how wymack will react to the information. he’s powerless as soon as wymack knows, with no way to anticipate or control his response, and no way to stop him from sending him back to tetsuji. even with a year of evidence to show him that wymack is a good person, as soon as his hand is forced in tkm to tell wymack the truth, kevin knows that he is at his mercy. it’s not a position he is eager to be in again.

by the end of the first series kevin has more freedom than he has ever had before, but i bet that he has never felt more powerless. the nest – cruel and power-driven as it was – gave him a clear way of understanding himself, his relationships with the people around him, and his place in the world. as that cage ebbs further away, and as those closest to him continue to heal and his sway over them continues to slacken, i really do worry that kevin is going to struggle more and more to exist in a world without the nest, the ravens, and riko

[viiiiiliiiii]

Neil needs to come three times before he’s completely spent and finally passes out. Andrew, even though he tends to burn out sooner, figured that out a long time ago. that’s why the routine coming from a blowjob, then a handjob, and finally a hard fuck is nothing new. by the time they get to the last one, Neil’s so exhausted he’s asleep before his cheek even hits the pillow.

[weralika]

Andrew knows his Kevin. Their Kevin, he knows he's arrogant and quick to throw insults, but he's theirs and they... don't want any other Kevin. He's a picky eater, so he always chooses take out when they visit. He doesn't allow so much as beer into his fridge, god forbid something stronger.

And when they see something change, it hits them like a truck, and Andrew knows Neil sees it too. Firstly, he only says "It was a good game, Andrew, it's always pleasure to take a win from you. Neil, you already know what I think." when he gets into their rented car and shuts up about exy until Neil asks him something. It's... Strange. Worrying and unsettling.

Then Kevin asks what they want for dinner. Then Andrew sees a pint of his favourite ice-cream in his freezer when he puts away the leftovers. It's starting to look awful.

They watch Kevin stealing Neil's dirty socks to give him a pair of clean ones.

"You're stinky," he says, before looking apologetically at Andrew. What to apologise for? That doesn't make fucking sense.

Andrew searches for Neil's gaze and finds it, of course he does, and Neil looks as bewildered as Andrew feels. This is so fucking stupid.

Kevin puts Animal Planet on TV, because he knows Andrew loves it, and- Honest to god. He asks:

"You want some beer?"

"No, what the fuck?" Neil jumps up from the couch, looking at Kevin wide-eyed and mouth agape.

"Okay," Kevin shrugs.

"Not okay! Why are you doing this? You're driving us insane!"

Kevin looks small and scared on his side of the couch, almost sad.

"You don't like beer?" he snaps, "Whatever, you can just say no, I won't cry or anything."

"Won't you?" Neil squints his eyes at him.

"No," Kevin even sounds small, fuck him for being so pretty and with bitten red lips.

"What," Andrew says with his almost steady voice, "Have you done to our Kevin?"

"He killed him. I swear he did," Neil answers.

"I did nothing to yo- I am Kevin. You know it's me."

"You definitely don't act like it." Neil starts to check Kevin's body for anything hidden. "Is it aliens? We're you abducted or..?"

"Leave me alone!" Kevin shouts at Neil, pushing away Neil's hands. He looks fucking broken. "It's me, I am Kevin. You're just too up in your asses to notice me- to notice anything."

"That's our Kevin," Andrew teases him, "And whatever you've been trying to prove there, it's bullshit."

"Yeah," Neil takes his seat beside Kevin, "We can tolerate you just how you are."

Kevin starts choking after that, as if Neil's words got stuck in his throat.

"I mean- We can take you just how you are? Is it better?"

"No," Kevin shakes his head.

And they don't talk anymore after that, only stare at the TV, lights are dimmed in the living room, and Neil hates bright lights, what a coincidence.

Whales starts to hunt in groups, herding prey into a circle and eating it together. Neil's skin is hot pressed against Andrew's.

"You can switch," Andrew says quietly, "I've seen it three times already, let's watch Nefertiti secret or something."

"No," Kevin says, "I'm starting to like it."

And they're all aware of something huge hanging over their hands in the air, and all ignore it for the sake of not breaking their fine truce.

Until Kevin groans and:

"No, I can't watch it, sorry. It's awful, Andrew, you can't be into it. Animals are weird, I don't want to know more and it makes me sad when they kill eachother and-"

"You can switch, I've already let you."

"Thank you." Kevin switches to History. "It's just... I... Sorry if it's weird, I just..."

"We're listening."

"I miss you. And I thought, if I were a good host you'd want to come over again," Kevin plays with the strings of his sweats and Andrew wants to bite his fucking fingers. "Can you take the beer with you?"

"Yeah, of course," Neil says with a tiny smile. "No, we can't, we- No, we will. You don't worry."

[drowsymiha]

Post-game reunion

[jetsjunkdrawer]

There’s a comparison to be made about Luther telling Andrew that he “misunderstood brotherly affection” and Kevin's visceral reaction to Andrew spitting those lines out after Kevin had just seen Drake on top of him.

But no one wants to talk about that.

[devi-lishly]

Okay but I can see Neil getting a tongue piercing. And he didn't tell ANYONE (besides Andrew, and that's a maybe) that he was getting it or that he had got it, so it was like SURPRISE when people noticed.

[mcmilkan]

A little thing I headcannon is that Andrew never asks where Neil is. Neil is CONSTANTLY asking where Andrew is if he hasn’t seen him for approximately 0.5 seconds and even Jean notices how they give “lingering looks when one fell out of orbit for too long”, but Andrew never asks, wanting conceal to the others how much Neil is a weak spot for him. Instead, his eyes slide across the room, scanning, and if he can’t see Neil then Andrew simply gets up and goes in search of him, he knows all of his spots anyways. The foxes, initially just put Andrew’s abrupt leave up to his blatantly disrespectful self, deciding he wasn’t interested enough in the conversation, so they don’t really care. However, that isn’t until they notice the pattern. First, Renee, then Dan and Aaron, and soon the others catch on. They observe the way Andrew’s fingers start tapping at his sides when his head swivels round and cannot find his specific ginger. They observe the way he gets up immediately and strides towards the door. They also observe the way Andrew hands still slightly as Matt says, “he’s on a run” or Kevin tells him Neil’s just practicing on the court. Andrew doesn’t acknowledge it openly of course, he never asked and would’ve been able to find him himself easily, but they all don’t miss the way his head lowers for a second, giving a subtle nod, placated by the fact someone always knows where Neil is. I guess they all know the alternative, when his hands were shaking, wrapped round Kevin’s neck in Baltimore. He didn’t ask, “Where’s Neil?”, he screamed it. And the others didn’t know. And Andrew couldn’t find him.

[viiiiiliiiii]

do you think andrew first time having sex as a bottom played out?

thanks for asking! 🤍 this is so funny. one day I’ll sit down and write about every AFTG character’s first time. just give me Kevin Day!! (I’m joking, don’t…) (please.)

unlike Neil, I think Andrew would be the one to make up his mind in the middle of it and simply tell Neil that he wants this, that he’s ready now (provided Neil wants it too), while refusing to let Neil handle any of the preparation himself (at least the first few times). but more importantly, for someone with an eidetic memory, memories of a painful past have a way of dragging him back into childhood again and again. more than anything, Andrew would need an anchor—something to remind him where he is and who he’s with. In this case, that anchor would be Neil. even though both Andrew and Neil would insist on a position where Andrew faces away from him (after all, Neil appreciates the practicality of it and the fact that it minimizes discomfort) it would still be important for Andrew to find traces of Neil wherever he could. his voice murmuring near his ear, checking in to make sure everything is okay, mixed with uneven breaths. and yes, for the first time, more than anything, Andrew wants Neil to keep talking. anything at all. whatever nonsense happens to cross his mind. every familiar note in Neil’s voice pulls him back into the present. there’s Neil’s hand resting near Andrew’s head, the one marked with scars Andrew already knows by heart. he allows himself a moment of weakness and reaches for it for a split second, but that’s enough for Neil to understand. he leaves his hand exactly where it is, because seeing that clear proof in front of him, that he’s with Neil, that there’s something tangible to confirm it, gives Andrew that familiar sense of safety every time. Neil, who has never been particularly good at keeping quiet in bed, would be noticeably quieter than usual the first time. all of his attention would be focused on Andrew—tracking every reaction, listening for the slightest breath, the faintest hiss, any sign of discomfort or reassurance. more than that, how could he allow himself to fully lose himself in the experience, no matter how much he was undoubtedly enjoying it, when his first priority was Andrew’s safety and comfort? and Andrew wouldn’t be Andrew if he didn’t keep some measure of control, so of course he reaches one arm behind himself, gripping Neil’s thigh to regulate the pace and intensity. yet despite the way Neil manages to hit the right spot with rhythmic thrusts, despite the involuntary arch of his back, the slow kisses pressed against his bare shoulders and neck, and the steady hand at his waist, Andrew still keeps his reactions firmly under control. all Neil gets are short, sharp breaths and the occasional broken sound quickly buried in a pillow. eventually, uncertain whether he’s doing everything right, Neil asks in a hesitant voice, “Is this okay? Are you sure you feel good?” as he leans closer to Andrew’s ear. In response, Andrew’s grip tightens immediately when he notices the movement has stopped. “Don’t stop. Yeah…” as if the tremor running through him wasn’t answer enough. but again, it’s the awareness that it’s Neil. that Neil’s hand is laced tightly through his own, pressing their joined fingers into the mattress as everything speeds up. Andrew still can’t look away from the scars on Neil’s hand. that realization, combined with the warmth of Neil’s breath at the back of his neck, finally draws the last strained sound from him. his fingers tighten around Neil’s as he pulls their joined hands a little closer, shuddering beneath the soft kisses pressed to his neck before finally letting himself relax. afterward, Neil is plagued by uncertainty over whether he should touch Andrew at all. but his hand has been resting at Andrew’s waist for so long already, moving in slow, reassuring strokes over a body still trying to catch its breath. only after several minutes does he finally speak, quiet and cautious, fully prepared to give Andrew space if he asks for it. “How are you feeling?”

[dismemberedlemon]

Hear me out.

Werewolf! Andrew and Vampire!Neil

Muscular Andrew, really protective of his family, doesn't let anyone get close?

Thinner, paler Neil, has an obsession with necks, got a knack for hiding in the day, speedy, probably amazing eyesight and hearing?

[starlightshadowsworld]

Concept:

I’m lowkey obsessed with the idea of Kevin going limp during the choking incident. Not because I think Andrew would hurt him to that point. But because it’d be Kevin’s way of showing him that he’s not going to fight him on this.

Kevin Day who we’ve seen throw hands against others including his own team with a broken hand. Kevin Day who feels Andrew’s hands bruise his neck and instead of fighting back like everyone knows he can, he falls completely limp.

In a sense it shows the sheer amount of trust that Kevin has in Andrew that he could face his anger head on knowing that Andrew won’t kill him.

But it also lends itself to the horrifying realisation that we have only ever seen Kevin surrender to 2 individuals: Riko and the Master. The 2 people that Kevin can’t say no to and can never fight back against, who has no choice but to submit too and obey their commands.

Kevin who didn’t fight Andrew and told him everything he wanted to be told despite promising Neil he wouldn’t tell a soul.

And now Andrew has to sit with the fact that he might be number 3.

[devi-lishly]

I think Neil would like the feeling of Andrew just laying on top of him. Especially on days when Neil feels floaty and far away from his body. It shows him where his body begins and where it ends, grounding him in the here and nowm Like a human weighted blanket that knows just how to comfort you.

[palmetto-state-foxes-07]

Thinking about how Kevin and Andrew's dynamic mirrors Kevin and Riko's again (Healthier! Though the bar is in the seventh layer of hell so it wasn't very hard) and how Riko and Andrew's main weapons were knives

Do you think that Andrew did exposure therapy with Kevin the same way he did with Neil and phones? Just have knives out. Cleaning or something else. Just to have them out and around Kevin without anyone getting hurt?

Do you think that when Andrew choked him out that for a second, Kevin felt something like relief? Something like "Finally. This makes sense", along with the betrayal. Because (At least in their eyes) Kevin fucked up, and these are the consequences

[viiiiiliiiii]

let’s not forget that Matt was one of Neil’s main sources of support when the responsibility for the team fell on him. so when Neil felt like he just needed to switch his mind off, he’d go to Matt’s room. Matt would always invite him in, suggesting they watch a movie or just talk about their day, while Neil simply listened, lying beside him with his forehead resting against Matt’s shoulder, until he eventually drifted into a short nap.

[viiiiiliiiii]

the flush stands out sharply against Andrew’s pale skin and fair hair, especially the redness that spreads across his nose and cheeks when he’s sick. worse still, being ill leaves him too quiet to voice his irritation; all his energy is spent simply staying upright. there’s something about the sight of Andrew curled up on the bed beneath a blanket, glassy, fever-dulled eyes half-lidded with exhaustion, that sometimes gives Neil an opportunity. with Andrew too tired to put up much resistance, and even less interested in thinking, Neil can press a soothing kiss to his forehead to check for a fever before settling down beside him. for his part, Andrew is too drained to argue, so he doesn’t object when he ends up tucked against Neil’s chest, where the familiar scent of cheap cologne and the gentle strokes over his flushed cheeks relax him enough to drift into a brief, restless sleep.

[iwannascreameurekaa]

ao3 author Neil au where his username is literally NeilJosten because the fbi agents said no pseudonyms

[moreauver]

thinking about kevin sitting alone in his bed watching trojan games (because he obviously watches every single one) and seeing how healthy jean looks and how smooth his movements are and the way he smiles at teammates and doesnt check too hard and still does raven maneuvers but in his own special way and how he’s clearly not playing in pain and how tan and strong he’s gotten and just feeling his chest tighten because. there are so many feelings there. of course he’s happy for him. of course he is. but there’s a wretched swirl of jealousy there too. parts of his insides feel rotten because he has no right to this jealousy, he has no claim to jean anymore. he has no right to wish he healed even a fraction of how much jean seems to have healed. he sent him to the trojans so that he COULD heal, he has no RIGHT to be upset that its happening. but that doesnt stop the conflicting feelings of relief and longing

[viiiiiliiiii]

Neil is lying with Andrew’s hand tucked beneath his cheek, another quiet night before they separate to actually go to sleep. at some point, Neil’s gaze drifts downward and settles on the thin lines of scars running along Andrew’s wrist, the raised skin noticeable against his own. after several long minutes of absent-minded staring, Neil finally tilts his head and presses a soft, barely-there kiss to one of the scars. when no protest follows, he keeps going, brushing the tip of his nose along Andrew’s hand and leaving gentle kisses from his slightly chapped lips across each pale line. Neil has never understood the desire to hurt yourself on purpose. his entire life had been spent trying to survive, trying not to be hurt. but now he’s looking at the aftermath of something painfully close to the opposite, and he knows exactly what lies behind the scars crossing Andrew’s skin. he has no issue with Andrew’s scars, they’re already there, but he hates the thought of what Andrew had to go through to get them. so he presses his lips there a little longer, foolishly, desperately hoping it might somehow help erase them, even though he knows it never will. “Am I bothering you?” Andrew’s calm voice breaks the silence from behind him, and Neil only shakes his head slightly, murmuring a quiet, “No.” Andrew, who had apparently been watching Neil the entire time, finally moves, sliding an arm more securely around Neil’s waist and pulling him closer against his chest. he presses a brief kiss to Neil’s bare shoulder, right over the iron brand, before burying his face against the nape of Neil’s neck. the warmth of Andrew’s quiet breathing against his skin is calming, just like the weight of Neil’s head resting on Andrew’s arm as the room slowly fills with soft, sleepy breathing.