what @sobutmermaids - Tumblr Blog

Selina: you’re playing checkers…I’m fucking your dad.

Dick, Robin at 12, on round #6 of this conversation: …and???

27yro Bruce travels to the future, meets Nightwing and immediately goes. Oh no. Dicks dead and this is his father. I can’t believe I could live in a world without Dick Grayson I’m gonna kms

And Dick doesn’t explain it bc he’s experiencing the horrors of realizing HOW much like John Grayson he looks like (he has his mamas eyes tho too bad Bruce can’t see em bc Nightwing mask)

Anyway once other people (Tim, Jason, Damian, Steph, himself, Cass etc) explain that Nightwing is in fact not John Grayson

Bruce goes “okay so where is Dick”

And everyone lowkey expected the worlds greatest detective to clock this

Man who looks like his sons dad is probably his son grown up seeing as we are in the future

And like Someone caves and points at Nightwing and Bruce takes one look and goes

“No”

And Dick is now experiencing the horrors squared and about go to on an absolutely biblical rage rant

“No he’s too big”

“…what”

“My boy is small that man there is too big”

5’11 with insoles Dick Grayson who has never managed to bulk up ever bc he’s a whore for cardio (acrobatics)

“Bruce we are in the future”

“Yes yes I am aware but Dick is small”

Other Bruce (45yro): Dick take off your mask

Anyway

27yo Bruce not like clocking that his son will one day grow older and get bigger and like move out and get a job and married and have a family outside of himself and work outside of the dynamic duo

27yro Bruce who like knows how aging works objectively but went “pshhh yeah but not MY BOY”

Anyway yeah

ghostie-ghosty

Not pictured, Alfred snarking Bruce into being a responsible parent

wilmvandrr

a single mum who works two jobs who loves her kids and never stops!!!! immaaa survivorrr

pillowspace

Nearly blocked someone for a vaguely annoying reply they made in 2017 then remembered 2017 was 9 years ago. They will live. We can change *opens their blog* nevermind they got worse. Guards

pillowspace

Mmy notifications .

byjove

Was scrolling through r/DeadBedrooms and there are so many straight guys in relationships with women lamenting the fact that they have to do foreplay and arouse their partner. You read them and you’re like “Maybe you should separate so she can find a man who will sexually please her and you can enjoy the constant company of your hand for the rest of your life.” It is crazy how they think they are entitled to the labor of sexual gratification but don’t think they should have to do the labor of sexually gratifying their partner.

finnoky

Redrew a few of my baby Dink things

spicy-apple-pie

Literally so cute

finnoky

Oh little dink

dictearchive

gamerkrillslair

sleeping on the floor is making a comeback after i was in the woods for 12 hours and fell asleep on my doormat after getting home.

gamerkrillslair

maybe it shouldn't. I woke up convinced there was a portal opening to the rat dimension next to me but it was my headlamp

greenlabcoat

you need to go back to the rat dimension they need your help

gamerkrillslair

last time i listen to you

silvaaart

Jaybin and his big brother

eecammm

hey could u watch over them rq

i-like-batfam

Bruce understands that the robins will struggle to keep their secret identity more than he does with their friends and socializing. So he needs a contingency plan so if someone finds out they're robin, they won't suspect Bruce is batman.

Cue Brucie being the most overprotective parent ever.

He insists Dick is scared of heights. Dick will be swinging on a chandelier, showing off his skills while Brucie is running in circles under him, with his arms out, screaming "don't worry, baby! Daddy will catch you!". He's clinging Dick to his chest, whispering reassurances to him, while Dick is smiling, soaking up all the praise.

Pretty soon the adults are telling Dick off, "you're gonna give your father a heart attack one of these days".

It's 100% worse with Tim. After losing Jason, the 'Batman who's fine with bringing a kid to fight serial killers' is a lot more of an act than the 'Bruce Wayne who will die from heartbreak if his kid has so much as a scratch on him'. Tim accidentally got hit with a basketball one day in school and all hell broke loose in the principals office. It doesn't matter if that was 1% of the pain Tim feels during any training session or fight. That's his baby boy's precious face.