A03: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sociopathic_author INSTA: https://www.instagram.com/sociopathic_artist?igsh=MWo3bTJseTM4bWZ5cA%3D%3D&utm_source=qr This is my UNDERTALE art and writing account! i take request for Headcanons, art, and short stories !
â§A short debrief of what youâll find here and what you can request.â§
my account is 16+ for suggestive content on my writings and works. any NSFW i post will be flagged for 18+ and will be under the
â- more â- < bar.
minors DNI with my 18+ work and please DNI if youâre under 16. (scroll down for the requests list)
â€ïž
⧠want only my writings? sub to my a03! want only my art? follow my insta! my tumblr is a blend of both medians :3 â§
â My writing here will be strictly undertale. I also do have my A03 account linked where I upload all my stories, but here on my TUMBLR you will only see my oneshots, headcanons, artworks, etc, so check out my A03 for my longer works that will not reach this account. I also make C.AI bots if you wanna check that out over there by my user spookyskulls. (you can request CAI bots on here and iâll answer your request when the bot is done ! )
â The # for all my works is under #sap , as well as goes with my watermarks. Please do not repost my artworks OR writings on pinterest, instagram, etc without my permission. (reblogs are totally fine though, obviously.) Also while I am 100% fine with writing works inspiried by mine, please do not take inspiration or take quotes from my writings without asking me first and give some credit to the work where you took quotes or inspiration from.
â My requests are open, and I take requests for any subject / topic (EX: Short stories, headcannons, angst, fluff, etc), as-well as any undertale characters, but I do prefer to stick with writing with the sanses. While I do take art requests they do take a bit longer to do, so I cannot guarantee they will come out as quickly as my writings will. I would like to note that while I do any subject, I do not take requests for the topic of cheating, rape/sa/noncon/ illegal ships, or any directly / heavily implied suicidal topics and if you request either of those your request will be deleted. I will take any other angst though.
ALSO! If you speak another language just mention it in your request and after the english version of your oneshot or headcanon will be a translated version for you to read. :)
The requests list is just what is in my inbox right now. Even if you submit a request unanon, every request shown on here will be anon until uploaded. This is just so that people know what I am working on and that no, you are not being ignored or forgotten my babies. It is also to prevent duplicate requests.
REQUESTS LIST:
UT Sans w/ a half angel half human significant other (in progress)
UT sans, NSFW, first time having sex
UT Sans looking at readerâs baby photos
UT Sans friends, friends with benefits, to friends with dating headcanos.
Error Sans x Reader during new years
UF Sans first kiss
UT Sans, how he behaves during jealousy (I will add extra to this since itâs already been requested)
Sans x Reader oneshot involving the song Wonderwall by Oasis
UF/UT Sans NSFW oneshot of reader basically flashing them
Drawing of Fresh Sans (in progress, thinking of a good pose idea)
â Iâm bilingual (french and english) and do have dyslexia, so while I try to proofread as much as I can and let grammarly assist me in spelling errors, please feel free to let me know kindly if there are any mistakes iâve made as I do not have a beta reader for my works.
đ€Thank you for stopping by, feel free to request anything ! đ€
Hi my babies, i lied again, im free balling and will upload the analysis on DT sans and tor when i feel like it, tee hee. someone (you know who you are) has resparked an old interest of mine involving reaper sans. have these romantic headcanons of him to feast on for now.
also, iâm trying to go back to my older style of headcanons where itâs kinda like a mix of an oneshot and a headcanon. i miss yapping to you guys like we are on a facetime call, so iâm bringing back my inner monologue.
â meet? meet cute? meet scary? â
Okay, so there are a lot of complications with this relationship. Heâs some immortal god outside of our construct of time. How in the world would he meetâlet alone hang outâwith you?
Well, I feel like there are a few workarounds to how meeting with him might go.
Reaper sans is a busy dude, to prevent humans from becoming immortal itâs his (and his brotherâs) job to reap the human souls when itâs their time to go so that they donât just keep living and lollygagging around for all time like the gods. Constantly traveling around to reap souls, however, might lead him to accidentally stumble into you.
The best way I can think of this (i want to write a one shot over this theme later down the line) is if perhaps you had fallen sick, or you had a near death incident and somehow lived (maybe modern medicine, cpr, something) there would be a breif moment where out of the corner of your eye- you saw death.
Literally saw death.
Was it a hallucination? There were many stories youâd heard before of people hallucinating their loved ones right before they died, and, well, you did die-for a brief moment, granted- but still. There werenât any stories youâd heard before of people seeing the Grim Reaper right before their eyes.
Which⊠You did see him, right?
It was hard to remember. For a moment when you woke up after being revived- you saw a clear vision of him standing behind the crowd of people around you. Looking at you. Watching. Waiting.
But now when you thought about him, it was like the memory of his figure was covered by a vast fog. You could no longer remember what you saw, but you remembered how seeing him made you feel.
You had never been so scared in your entire life.
It would take a few weeks for Death to take a dance with you again. Again, heâs a busy man- but in the back of his mind- the curiosity and boredom of waiting for something new to happen was eating at him. Heâd been doing this for⊠How many years ago was the beginning of time? Heâd keep doing this job until the end of time faded, and even after that, he and the other gods who lingered about would remain yet.
Papyrus was a hard worker⊠It would be okay if he visited you out of boredom, right? Just a peek to see how you were doing before he went back to his normal routine of reaping souls indefinitely. Something to take the edge off, wake him up, satisfy his mind, humor his questions, entertain him a bit.
He had blown through every excuse that he could use as an answer if any of the gods ever found out what he was doing. Not that there was a high chance they would- he could just channel his omnipresence to be with you while he did his work.
It didnât get rid of that worry that he would get caught, though.
â Hanging out â
Obviously, when you first caught sight of him stalking you (you were blissfully unaware of how frequently he did that), you screamed.
It was the grim reaper. Hanging out in your kitchen, sitting at your barstool. His scythe was leaning against your dining room table and he had one elbow propped on the countertop while he rested his mandible in his palm, watching you. Lurking.
âhey. i see you have a coffee maker back there. care to make me some?â
Reaper sans can use fear and empathic manipulation to his advantage (canon power, sourced), so when he starts to feel the slightest bit guilty for scaring the life- hehe- out of you every time he showed up, he maybeslightlyprobably tweaks your feelings a little bit.
Nothing to make you different- no, no. You entertain him from his boring, eternal life just by being yourself. Just something to help make you relaxed. He doesnât want you to have a heart attack and die on the spot (even if it is a bit fun to jumpscare you). He wants you to live a long, happy life just like any human should. He doesnât want to have to whisk you away from the mortal realm all too soon.
So thereâs always the telltale sign of when he is stalking you, because you suddenly feel at ease and comforted- almost as if youâve sunk into a hot bath.
If he touches you, you die. Suuuuper convenient, right? Right?? Due to that factor, he always keeps a distance from you. The two of you talk about whatever a human and a god could possibly talk about from a large gap with him sitting in a chair across the other side of the room. He doesnât want to take any risks. If you walked past him and tripped, even a single hair on your head touching against his cloak for a millisecond would mean the end of you.
If you move towards him, he moves back. If youâre taking a path that might cause you to go behind him or join your distance even by a single inch, he teleports to somewhere else. If you bring him a mug of coffee (for a god who doesnât need sleep, he sure is tired) he vanishes a few feet away when you place the mug down and waits until youâve returned to your original spot again to return to his seat.
Heâs careful. He has all the time that eternity has to offer for him to be gentle, soft, and patient with you. Sometimes he stretches out time for a few seconds by speeding things up for himself. You donât notice since heâs just sitting there listening to you yab on about your frustrating work day, heâs not getting up and running around at super sonic speed. If he speeds up things for himself, everything from his line of vision becomes extremely slow.
It gives him more time to just⊠watch. To stare at you. To get up from his chair and take a step or two closer (heâs moving way faster than you so it would be insanely hard for you to touch him at such a slow speed) to you just so that he can breathe in the air youâre breathing in.
If he thinks hard enough, he could imagine what it would be like to intertwine your soft hand with his calloused and scarred one.
He canât do that though. Grazing his hands on the coffee mug that you touched while he listened to you talk was going to be the closest he would ever get to you.
So⊠Thatâs most of the hanging out you guys do. He doesnât wander into the public eye to be seen by randoms, he has no interest in causing that unnecessary panic. He watches movies with you from a heavy distance away. You exchange memes and texts with each other online a lot. He hangs out in your kitchen while you cook yourself dinner (heâs not a big eater, he just likes coffee.) and he watches you move around. You stare into his pitch black eye sockets when you run out of things to talk about and he just⊠waits. He never talks about his work to you- you already knew what he did just by looking at him, and his life was extremely boring when it was in comparison to yours. He did the same thing all the time with the occasional conversation with his bro or an argument with one of the other gods. He liked to hear about your mortal life and your mortal problems, so when you werenât doing the talking- it became a deadly quiet with heavy stares.
You find his soulless stare creepy even when he manipulates your emotions a tad to keep you calm. Not that it isnât attractive.
Speaking of attractive,
â Dating â
Okayyy⊠I know itâs romance headcanons, but I donât feel like heâd date you despite liking you. Itâs just out of common sense of⊠you literally canât touch each other. No cuddling, no kissing, no sex, nothing.
But, in the timeline where he would date you (youâd have to confess, heâs not shy but all means but he doesnât want the pressure of a powerful god asking you out put onto your shoulder), iâll give some examples of things heâd do and how it would go down.
So, I canât think of any situation for how a confession would go since I canât envision him dating a mortal, so feel free to just picture one in your mind.
â Heâs⊠tried. Heâs tried to do basic romantic things.
He brought you your favorite flowers one time, but the moment he reached out to grab them and put them in a vase, they wilted and died.
Being around you all the time and seeing you just touch things without killing him- for a brief moment- made him forget that heâs different from you. He once attempted to grab some mint from the little leaf garden of herbs that was on your kitchen windowsill, only to see the plant you used all the time for baking christmas cookies or flavoring your tea had wilted the moment his fingertip touched one of the leaves. He attempted to help, he knew you liked mint and was just wanting to assist you like a boyfriend should, but now heâd killed your favorite herb and you needed to go buy a new plant.
The incident scared him. For a second a single second he forgot that he killed things by touching them. What would happen if one day after spending a considerable amount of time with you, he unconsciously reached to tuck some hair behind your ear?
He never let himself go off guard after that.
Well, living flowers and helping you cook were usually off the table. Great. He had to work with what he could.
Since he could be everywhere at once, he spent some of his time learning how to make little origami flowers for you and spritz them with a scent you liked. It was something that wouldnât die, and you could touch and feel the flowers where he had touched and felt them. Indirect touch was the best the two of you would ever get.
And even though he usually always had his ominous cloak on which made him look horrifying beyond belief when you stumbled down your hallway at two in the morning only to see him inspecting something in your house (stalker), he sometimes put on clothing articles around you that he would give to you when he had to leave. You could wear it when he was gone, mimicking the closest youâd get to a hug from him, and give an article to him when he returned to see you so that he could reclaim it with his touch and smell.
Iâll answer the question that at least one person who reads this will have. If he has omnipresence and can be everywhere at once in multiple forms of himself, why does he have to leave you? Simple answer, itâs annoying for him to try and focus on multiple things at once. Just becuase he can do it doesnât mean he likes it, especially if his other part thatâs not with you is starting to have trouble and he has to focus his attention on the task at hand- causing him to tune out from you for a bit. He does hang around your house a lot (even when youâre not there) but he leaves when he needs to focus on something that takes up a lot of his attention. (talking to his brother or another god, maybe chasing down a soul that doesnât want to leave. that stuff)
Gift giving and simple acts of service were the best love language he could offer since all physical touch was opted out.
Sometimes youâd come home and there were some handmade flowers for you resting on your coffee table. Or a candy you liked- or maybe a card he picked up for you and wrote down funny jokes in it. And if you were busy doing something in the house, he might suggest that you go sit down and just talk to him while he takes over the chore for you. Sure, heâs lazy and under normal circumstances you would never catch him dead (hehe) doing chores, but he feels like he has to compensate a bit for the things he canât do.
His main mode of talking to you though is texting or calling you when he isnât lurking around your walls. He sends you memes. All. The. Time. Selfies of him doing anything -
{ Why did you send me a selfie of you in an alleyway?
[ donât you like me
Yeah. Sometimes youâre actively talking to him and he sends you a meme or a text even though heâs not even on his phone right now. He does it because it annoys you and just out of a boyfriend manner, he likes making you slightly annoyed now and then. Worst part is that you can't even be too mad at him because he technically is actively listening and paying attention to you, but he just has a form of himself somewhere off sending you texts and memes.
He also just⊠Stares at you a lot. Sometimes you wake up in the middle of the night from a dream and when you go to roll over heâs just⊠there. Sitting on your carpet on the floor just scrolling on his phone and hanging out in your presence. He deflects the topic with jokes if you ask why he lurks around you so much, sometimes just hanging out in your home even when youâre not there, but you know that itâs because itâs the only way he can be close to you. If you werenât used to it by now, all his staring and watching would have been a bit scary. Was it scary to you at one point? You canât remember.
Sooo⊠Yeah. Iâll make some one shots with him soon but as for the headcanons, thatâs how i can see it going down as for meeting and dating you :3
Hello, I was wondering if you could do a headcanon of UT sans jealous, I always wondered if he had insecurities like that
guess who got their laptop case fixed!! i can finally write again! and of course, i can write that. hope you enjoy!
(my next post will be a work discussing my thoughts and opinions on Deltarune Sans and Toriel since the recent chapters were AMAZING but really threw off my game for how I view sans, haha.)
Undertale Sans jealousy headcanons
â So, personally, I donât feel like Sans would be someone to get jealous easily. He obviously would trust you if heâs dating you and wouldnât get skeptical that youâre trying to make him jealous or that youâre catching feelings for someone else, youâre a grown adult and have adult friends. You donât get skeptical when he hangs out with Toriel alone, so why would he invade the wall of trust you guys have when you go out to hang out with your friends?
â However, while he isnât easily insecure and is not a jealous lover, there are definitely certain predicaments where he might get a bit jealous, because, well, who wouldnât?
â Iâve struggled a bit (iâve rewritten this 4 times⊠so struggled.) to think of situations where Sans would be jealous. The one that keeps popping into my mind is the emotional vulnerability that comes after arguing. Sans is mature despite his childish humor and knows that when both of you are upset with each other itâs important to take some time to calm down before regrouping and either apologizing or finding a solution to the problem that caused the argument.
â But, when youâre both calming down, thereâs the emotional vulnerability, and I feel like that might be the rarer situation where Sans would get jealous. Hearing you call and laugh with one of your non-mutual friends, or maybe youâre going out to shop or eat lunch with someone, and have a good time to help you regain your mental peace of mind. Nothing is wrong with that! Heâs glad you have a healthy relationship with youâre friends and can rely on them to cheer you up when youâre upset with him.
â Itâs just- He canât help but feel the twinge of jealousy in his soul. Youâre laughing with someone thatâs not him, youâre upset with him! You two havenât made up yet and heâs starting to feel like a wounded dog over here, itâs natural for him to be jealous.
â His behavior change isnât too noticeable, but itâs enough for you to catch on since you see him every day.
â Heâs struggling to make direct eye contact with you. His usually slouched posture is suddenly tense and stiff. His words arenât mean, but you can tell that heâs a bit snippy.
âi thought you were busy calling with your friend.â
âdonât you have things to do right now?â
âno thanks, i can do this by myself right now.â
â Heâs dodgy, somehow his phalanges are sweaty, and heâs giving annoyed sighs when your phone keeps getting notifications from your friend texting you.
â The behavioral change doesnât stick around for too long. Sans always kept everything to himself until the two of you became super close, and now it feels like heâs going to explode if he doesnât tell you how he feels within a day.
â He straight-up tells you what is wrong, heâs blunt about it. Heâs jealous, and while he doesnât have a problem with you going to your friends for comfort and heâs glad that you have a life outside of your relationship with him, it makes him feel jealous when you snub him for a while after an argument and then go have fun with your friends. He understands that you arenât ready to talk to him so fresh after a disagreement, but he doesnât think itâs healthy for the two of you to just stay mad at each other for hours on end without atleast having a normal conversation about how you feel.
â I was super excited to write this, but when it actually came to typing it out, my mind sort of drew a blank, haha. I feel like undertale Sans is mature when it comes to being open with his feelings and discussing problems, so him being jealous would be a feeling that heâd either brush off or would talk to you about it when the two of you are alone. Hereâs some short and easy bullet list headcanons instead of the paragraphs I normally do. These are things I think heâd do or say, but I didnât know how to incorporate them well into my normal story-like headcanons.
~ He isnât keen on physical touch when heâs jealous. A lot of people get that desire to hug tight onto their partner or flaunt them off to prove that nobody can take them, but Sans doesnât handle jealousy well and shuts down for a bit. He doesnât last long before explaining how he feels to you and communicating ways to avoid it that both of you agree on so that it doesnât become a recurring problem.
~ Sans might cook something you like when heâs jealous or upset, almost a way to cast a fishing line and hook you back into talking to him. Heâs not good at baking, but he can cook well and finds that talking while eating food is always a good way to keep things light and easy for conversation.
~ He doesnât like talking to friends about your arguments or being jealous, he thinks itâs a subject thatâs private and should stay between the two of you.
~ Half of the time when he does get jealous he usually sweeps the feeling aside with a âitâs not that deepâ and moves on. It rarely ever eats at him to the point that he has to talk to you about it to get it off his mind.
~ Not specifically relating to jealousy, but after any moment where heâs upset with you or youâre upset with him, he becomes very clingy when youâve both calmed down. He likes the physical comfort and when his hands wrap around you in a hug they don't let go.
so, my laptop case i use for my ipad so that i can write has broke :(
iâm buying a new one soon but itâll be a bit before i can get the money and before it comes in, so i will be posting art for a bit and my writing wonât be posted until i get the laptop case back. sorry guys :(:(
iâm updating my âabout meâ page on here or whatever its called and i recommend checking it out today or tomorrow because it has a request list so you donât accidentally request the same thing as someone else (its anon even if they didnât submit requests anon, dont worry), and itâll say which ones im currently working on. just helps keeps everything a bit more organized!!
Hiii, could you maybe write a oneshot about the exact moment (UT) Sans fell in love with the reader? Idk if youve done something like this before, so feel free to ignore this if you have :)
Love your writing btw!!! The way you write Sans feels pretty spot on to me in a lot of aspects and its so refreshing to see
hey, of course, i can. thank you for the compliment on my writing, i put a lot of effort into understanding his canon personality. i wanted to do a chapter from SANS pov, i haven't done that in a while. hope you enjoy, my lovelies.
iâm trying to journal my thoughts again, like youâve egged me into doing.
sometimes when i laugh i hear your laugh in mine and i think of you.
i didnât notice i was doing that, itâs funny to me to think about how weâve spent so much time together that iâm slowly becoming like you, similar to how youâre becoming like me. itâs true, though. i laugh and in my voice, i hear the way you laugh- just like how you have been around me countless times- and i think of you. it makes me a bit sad. thatâs weird, i guess. or⊠weird for me to admit it out loud? iâve become a lot more attached to you than iâd like to admit. is that weird too?
thereâs no point in trying to not miss you either. youâve left your trace all over my house. paps is cleaning the kitchen and sees the mug you always used, still imprinted with your chapstick around the rim with an unfinished drink at the bottom. iâm making my bed for once and i find your shirt that you left on my mattress that got left to be wrapped up in my pillows in blankets. it still smells like you, and maybe this is weird too, but i canât bring myself to bring it back to you right away.
you also left your hairbrush in my bathroom. howâd you know i needed that? anddd, you left behind a box of advil for those headaches you get all the time. itâs halfway full, youâre probably looking for it in your bedroom.
i canât help but leave some of the stuff you leave to just sit there right where it was until you return. itâs not me being lazy (for once), but itâs almost like if i just look at the mug resting on my nightstand that you abandoned when you left in a hurry, i can gaslight myself that youâre just in the other room tidying yourself up before you come back to lay with me.
sometimes at night, i hear the hum of my fan whirring in the background when i lay my head down on the pillow. this is another weird thing to add to your mental list, but iâve begun to listen to the fan whirring and pretend like itâs the quiet hum of your soul that i hear when weâre tied up with each other. itâs a bit difficult to sleep without the faux noise now.
itâs embarrassing to admit, and as much as i blabber onto you about weird shit, i donât think iâll ever be able to bring myself to tell you that one. maybe one day when weâre both older and iâve memorized every nook and cranny on you iâll confess these weird things to you in a whisper during the night.
there was this time i recall now actually, it was a few months back. you were hanging out with the friend group at our annual new yearâs party. you had on this outfit that caught my short gaze, which i discovered later that night that you purposefully wore to get my attention. you know me so well, donât you?
anyways. it was probably an hour or two after the countdown. alphys was asleep on torâs couch while undyne watched the ongoing anime on the TV with paps. you were sitting next to papyrus, and i was being a bit of a creep and took upon the task of watching you sit there beautifully from the other side of the room. i donât know why i do that, iâm your boyfriend and have full privileges of wallering on you, but i just canât help myself to enjoy watching you when youâre unaware that youâre being looked at. you look amazing when you laugh, by the way.
you had sat down on the couch next to papyrus a bit too quickly, and your drink splashed a bit and hit papyrusâ cheekbone. you laughed about it and brushed your thumb up along his face to wipe away the punch, and⊠i donât know. seeing you just getting along with my brother, smiling, looking content and happy⊠it was like the air around me weirdly felt like the same air i breathed in to ventilate my magic. i just knew.
not that i didnât love you before that moment. i loved you long before it was romantic, you were my best friend for god knows how long (two years and twenty-four days before you confessed, i definitely know). i guess that was when i just sort of realized, âwow, i actually really want to tell you i love you before you leave to go back to your house tomorrow.â
i donât think i told you for a few weeks after that. i couldnât keep in my feelings long enough, iâm usually shut off but youâve worn me into a good habit of talking about my day and my feelings for so long that itâs become hard to keep stuff from you.
every night that i hung up the phone after calling with you all day, every time you fell asleep in my arms, every time i watched you leave my house, i wanted to tell you.
i donât know why i didnât do it sooner, to be honest. i always knew you loved me, i can tell just from looking into your eyes and seeing the enamorment you have from watching me just exist. not that iâm judging, iâm no better than you are. if it wouldnât bust my kneecaps into pieces iâd be falling to my knees just from the sight of you⊠probably.
saying âi love youâ was well rewarded, a bit of a buff up to our relationship if i say so, but i guess i thought it would complete that longing feeling i had every time you had to leave. ending things with a sweet âi love youâ when you leave the room or my house feels complete, but it doesnât make me feel any better when i still see the traces of you left everywhere.
my slippers that have basically become yours with how much youâve worn them around my house, conveniently kicked off by the front door.
some food you made for paps and me when you came over yesterday, packed away in a tupperware container resting on a shelf in the fridge.
your footprints on my rug from when you shuffled over to my bed and hid yourself under the blankets so that i wouldnât try to grab and tickle at you anymore.
a tube of cherry-flavored chapstick that you left on my nightstand that never fails to make kissing you taste yummy.
is it weird i find you in everything, even when youâre not here?
i donât know. i know that i miss you. i love you. iâll see you tomorrow.
hi guys! sorry i havenât been posting, finals week is stressing me OUT. i have a bunch of posts (mostly drawings) saved up for you guys and ill be back to uploading normally by this upcoming week, love you guys <3
so⊠i know heâs left handed but just ignore that i accidentally drew him writing with his right hand. anyways, the next post is an inbox request of UT (classic) sans. <3
NEED SOME MORE NIGHTMARE CRUBS, I AM EATING YOUR WRITING UPPP
here you go :)
PART 5 OF THE SERIES APRICITY
TW: MENTIONS OF TORTURE / ABUSE
Obfuscate - To throw into shadow, to darken, to create unsurity.
If someone asked Nightmare when he began to like you, he would laugh in their face.
Him? Like anyone? No.
It wasnât just that he was self-absorbed and conceded, but he emotionally could not love people. He was made of negativity- evil. It consumed his being and made him crazy. Loving someone was impossible, and liking someone was extremely difficult for him when he sought out the flaws in everyone except himself. You were no exception.
He was merely⊠Amused by you. You despised him, and honestly? It pissed him off. But he was also intrigued by your confidence and persistent denial of him despite the fact that it didnât benefit you in any way possible.
If you ran, he could cut off your legs.
If you talked back to him, he could rip out your vocal cords.
And you werenât stupid, you knew how strong he was and that he could not only strip away any freedom you had- but kill you at any given moment.
But yet, you disobeyed his rules. You were clearly testing your limits on what you could get away with, and he had half a mind to smack you across your pretty face for being so difficult with him- but he was just soâŠ.
SoâŠ
âŠ
Amused.
How could he not be? He was giving you a luxurious room, delicious meals, and comfortable clothes- you had your every whim tended to while you were in the castle. Anything you asked for you would receive.
And yet, the only thing you asked for was for him to let you go.
Weirdly enough, your refusal to give in to him and accept your life now reminded him of himself whenever he was just a child.
Stubborn. Arrogant. Looking up at the night sky and wondering if this is all that the world has to offer you. If being bullied, mistreated, and stuck was all you would know.
Fortunately, that was not his life anymore. It hadnât been for five hundred and six years. But he had a good hunch that it was becoming yours.
It was almost like he was watching a rat in a maze. He was so intrigued by what you would try to do next in an attempt to set him off, and it was hilarious to see you try to make friends with the three idiots working for him. They were psychotic murderers who wouldnât be entranced by your kindness. Theyâd murdered families, innocent people, and children, whose to say you werenât next?
Not that he would let them kill you. He wanted you to break first. He wanted to see as you became apathetic and cruel when you realized that no matter how hard you tried- you would never escape. He could already see you beginning to lose yourself, it was apparent just by looking at your disheveled state, and god did it make him feel good.
He had taken you from his brother, removed you from the comfort of your home, and stripped your freedom right from your hands. Since you had absorbed his magic after he stabbed you upon your first meeting, his negativity didnât affect you as it did most people who could feel. Every negative emotion that came from you was genuine and untainted, and that made you so much more fun to toy with.
So⊠he just couldnât grasp why every time you looked at him seeking comfort, he felt⊠pity? He had grown to look at you almost like you were some pet of his that he could take care of.
Nightmareâs cruelty reminded him of how he was treated before he became corrupted, and it was baffling to him that you sought him out after everything heâs put you through. It didnât make sense, and that was all the more of why he took fascination in studying you.
Nightmare had spent the past five hundred and six years curating his life. Heâs built the luxurious castle he lived in, he had an outstanding staff, many allies up his sleeve- and not to dote- but extremely strong powers. There were no true multiversal gods, but he might as well be the next best thing. Anyone who denied those factors was just ignoring his potential, because, like it or not, Nightmare is all those things. The only real competition against him was the other guardian- Dream- and even then he still struggled to compete.
But despite being made of evil, Nightmare wasnât all horrible. He didnât like killing people, (it took away the energy he could milk out from torturing them), he wasnât prone to lashing out or yelling very much, and he had some rather peaceful hobbies.
He didnât know what you thought of him, but he had a pretty good idea.
For one, he saw your interest in him despite how much you tried to hate him. You had tried to picture him as some⊠thing, to de-personalize him. It was obvious to him how much you derealed him when he kept seeing the shock in your expression every time you found out about his hobbies or normal life. It was like it was incomprehensible for you to think about Nightmare doing things without it stemming from evil.
Yes, he liked to read. Yes, he was calm and composed unless provoked. Yes, he enjoyed small moments where he could be alone and listen to the rainfall. He had a personality, he was almost likable. He could see how frustrated that made you. You couldnât de-personalize him no matter how hard you tried because, at the end of the day, he was still someone.
It was so fun to keep you teetering between hating him and loving him, heâd do something so horrible that it left you destroyed and speechless, and then he would win you over with your favorite flowers and the swear of a date as soon as the bruise on your neck healed.
Nightmare was convinced that you would keep him entertained until the day you died.
Just like he did once.
He hated reminders of his old life.
It was part of why he was a bit gentler with you. It made somewhere deep down in him feel like he was healing the part of him that died when you smiled despite how much he hated the positive energy. Not that you or anyone else would ever know that- he never shared anything personal about him with anyone.
He did, however, log down his personal feelings into a journal sometimes.
It wasnât very often that he did so, maybe once or twice every century or so. He wasnât too fond of the recreational hobby, but he did find that his isolation had consumed his thoughts, and since he didnât like anyone enough to truly conversate with them, he journaled in a small, black-leathered book tucked away in the third drawer of the desk in his study.
There was this time when you caught him writing, now that he recalled it. Nightmare had been busy scouting the multiverse for a good AU to target and he hadnât been at the castle for a few days. He came back at night, when everyone was supposed to be asleep in their quarters whether they were resting or not.
How long had it been since heâd logged down his thoughts?
The guardian sat down at his desk and flipped through his leather journal until he found a blank page with an old log next to it. He briefly checked the neatly printed date at the top right corner of the page, reading:
âDecember 21st, 1732â.
Damn. His birthday two hundred and ninety-three years ago. Odd.
Nightmare wasnât a sentimentalist, obviously, so he didnât ponder on the date and he took out his favorite calligraphy pen and began to scribe down what was circulating through his mind.
Some details about the past two hundred and ninety-three years, some notes about the AUâs heâs discovered, some internal thoughts and questions he had. Writing once every few centuries led him to have a lot to say, so the pages filled up easily.
âNightmare?â
He froze in his writing upon hearing your quiet voice call out for him. For the first time, youâd caught him off guard.
Nightmare didnât even bother to look at you before he resumed his writing at a slower pace. âI didnât give you permission to be in here.â
âIâm not in here.â You responded.
At that, Nightmare looked up from his book to spot you. Well, technically you werenât in his study. You were standing just outside the entryway staring down at him quietly. There you go again, testing him.
âNo, youâre not in here,â Nightmare remarked, capping his calligraphy pen and setting it down on his desk before he closed his book. âWhat do you want?â
You shrugged, fiddling with your thumbs out of habit. âI donât know. Just to see you, I guess. You havenât been around recently.â
To see him? Youâve sought him out before, but this was the first time youâve openly admitted to wanting to see him. It seemed like the months in the castle had finally grown an urge for you to cling to the only constant person in your life.
Nightmare didnât say anything at first, staring at you with an unreadable expression. If it was anyone else, he would have told them to leave and quit bothering him the moment they showed up.
ButâŠ
âWell, you canât see me very well from so far away, can you, darling?â His words were an invitation for you to come inside his study, even if the nickname was said in a degrading manner.
You hesitated for a second before slowly stepping past the entryway and into the dimly lit room. Nightmare hated bright lights, so every room in the castle was dimly lit with ambient lamps or candles. It was aesthetically pleasing, really.
âIâve been wondering where you went.â You spoke softly like he would get mad at you for saying anything, and you were beginning to inch over to stand in front of his desk. âYou just vanished.â
Yes, the guardian of negativity did tend to do that. You were the only person who ever questioned it.
âI had some business to attend to.â Nightmare elaborated vaguely in a smooth and low tone. âIâll be back out again by Tuesday and I will assign you to a new task.â
You didnât say anything, and Nightmare was convinced that you werenât processing what he was saying.
âWhat do you do in here?â You asked, your gaze wandering around his study.
âWhat?â
âYou have an office and then a study, but I donât see you here as much. Is this like the bedroom of your office?â You explained your question to him as you stepped away from his desk and went to look at his bookshelves.
Hm. You had such a weird way of thinking, but oddly enough, Nightmare understood what you meant.
He was silent as he watched you wander before he said anything else. âYes, I suppose you could say that.â
His study was where he kept all of his things that he didnât want cluttering up his bedroom. The room contained some books he liked, his journal, and a few trinkets he kept neat on a shelf that heâd collected over the past few hundred years. His study was a lot more comfortable than his office, which was used for more professional matters.
It seemed that you got bored of observing his books and trinkets, and you turned your attention back to Nightmare. âI couldnât sleep⊠I saw the lights coming from here and thought I would say hello.â
So⊠You didnât have a purpose to being here then. You were just making conversation so that Nightmare didnât kick you out.
âIs that so?â Nightmare tapped his phalanges in a rhythmic order against his desk as he leaned back in his chair to get more comfortable. âWell, youâve said hello to me now.â
That was a subtle way of his segway to kick you out of his study. He was in a decent mood so he was a lot more patient with you right now.
âI have.â You walked back over to him, but you were a bit bolder this time and you shuffled behind his desk, standing next to him just a few inches away. âAre you happy with what you do?â
Nightmare turned in his chair to face you, and he stared at you in silence, the only sound being the tapping of his phalanges.
Was he happy with what he did?
Of course, he was. He had been ringing up that sweet negativity out from people for the past five hundred years, he lived in a luxurious castle full of servants, and there were millions of people across the multiverse who feared him. He had rebuilt himself into someone different, someone better. Why wouldnât he beâŠ
Happy?
âI mean- youâve just been alive for so long, and-â You stuttered over your words as you tried to explain your question, but Nightmare cut you off.
âThatâs enough.â He spoke sharply. âYou can go to your room now.â
Well⊠He didnât appreciate your question.
You turned to leave, exiting his study and going back to your room without saying anything else.
When the sound of your footsteps faded, Nightmare was alone again, and for a good while he just stared at the entryway to his study. Your question was somehow something heâd never asked himself before, and he wasnât sure how he felt about that. Was being happy important when he had everything he could want? Was it even possible for him to be happy with himself?
Nightmare uncapped his calligraphy pen and opened his journal back up, smoothing out the page he left off on before his pen hit the paper and he began to write about something outside of himself. Something he hadnât done before.
â I donât hate them like everyone else, and it sickens me. â
âŠ
âIâm beginning to feel something I havenât felt for five hundred and six years.â
