first of all what the hell

19 / commerce

[tonystarkstan]

GEORGIA VOTERS, LISTEN TO ME.

Over 1,500 ballots in GA have been rejected and we are SO CLOSE to turning the state blue—every vote counts. If you did a mail-in or absentee ballot, go check that it was counted. If it’s been rejected, you can call the GA Voter Protection Hotline at 1-888-730-5816.

Right now, every single vote counts. Check on your ballot and make sure it was accepted.

[feminismandmedia]

We are less than 4,000 votes away from flipping Georgia blue. CHECK YOUR BALLOTS

[feminismandmedia]

Trump is now leading by only 2,497 votes. 2,497.

Check your ballots. Your vote matters.

[spirallightofvenus]

Now the lead is down to 1,902 votes, as of 10pm Eastern Time. Check your ballots!

[venyachristine]

1,797 at 10:12 PM

[inkblue-computerhead]

some things i’ve learned while studying in quarantine

drink more water instead of more coffee.

weekly goals are bullshit. set yourself 3-day goals. you’ll be less laid-back.

don’t just mindlessly stare at words. before you start studying, know your approach to it. have a plan.

summarizing the concept in your own words is the key part of taking notes. don’t just copy things down, convert them into your own way of talking, your own vocabulary, no matter how dumb and unprofessional it sounds.

don’t let the “studyblr aesthetic” fool you. studying doesn’t have to be pretty. summaries and notes can be messy as long as they’re comprehensible. you can always rewrite and reorganize them later. (honestly, you better do. and you better keep them.)

don’t throw away the papers you’ve solved your problems in. staple them to the fucking textbook. you need to see them constantly. cause you’ll need reminders of how far you’ve came, when you’re feeling discouraged.

don’t be an armchair analyst for your issues. if you have an idea then act on it.

remember: the exact point where it becomes difficult, is where your growth begins. take a deep breath, and try to focus on the paragraph in front of you.

get off your high horse and understand that if you’re a zero, you won’t go to 100 in a couple of days. first, you’ll need to reach 30, then from 30 to 60, and then from 60 to 90. nobody is 100 everyday. that happens very rarely.

you need to have fun everyday. you need to have peaceful time every single day. even on exam night. especially on exam night, actually. so make sure you’ve studied enough so you can have some time to yourself.

once you’re on a roll and in need of some challenge to stay on track, start writing down your studying hours. tell yourself you’re not allowed to do less than 80% of what you did yesterday. whatever the hell it was, even just one hour. so if yesterday you really studied for like, say 8 hours, today your goal is to study for at least 6 and a half hours. if you can’t keep up with that, make it 70%, or 60%. 

be forgiving of yourself. be kind to yourself. even if you bounced back and lost your streak. start again. as slowly as you did before. take your time. it’s okay, you were there once you can get there again.

[socratesstudies]

I haven’t posted study things in 27 years but online school is starting in September aha

[birdgrandma]

[gamgee]

you dont even need to cut the tops off strawberries you can just eat the whole thing theyre like kiwis you can just eat all of it

[cinged-deactivated20180706]

[viinnttaaggee]

[lovecorefem]

lovestruck kermit the frog moodboard 🐸💗💕💖💓💕💖💓💖💞💓💗

[marias-studyblr]

Important TED talks

Summer is time to relax but we should take the time to think. Here are my favorites ted talk videos that I think everyone should watch:

The virginity fraud - Nina Dølvik Brochmann and Ellen Støkken Dahl

This is what it’s like to go undercover in North Korea - Suki Kim

My escape from North Korea -  Hyeonseo Lee

The Muslim on the airplane - Amal Kassir

The Secret of Becoming Mentally Strong - Amy Morin

The skill of self confidence - Dr. Ivan Joseph

How to stop screwing yourself over - Mel Robbins

The Magic of Not Giving a F*** - Sarah Knight

Why the universe seems so strange - Richard Dawkins

The pattern behind self-deception - Michael Shermer

Militant atheism - Richard Dawkins

Why domestic violence victims don’t leave - Leslie Morgan Steiner

Lessons from death row inmates - David R. Dow

Lessons from the Mental Hospital - Glennon Doyle Melton

Why we choose suicide - Mark Henick

What’s Wrong with Dying? - Lesley Hazleton

I’m Taking My Body Back - Rupi Kaur

My philosophy for a happy life - Sam Berns

The surprising habits of original thinkers - Adam Grant

The surprising secret to speaking with confidence - Caroline Goyder

Want to sound like a leader? Start by saying your name right - Laura Sicola

Programming your mind for success - Carrie Green

All it takes is 10 mindful minutes - Andy Puddicombe

[studyingstudent]

a big sister’s college tips

wait until after syllabus week to buy your textbooks. they might not be required. it’ll save you money 

prioritize your classes by number of credit hours. more credit hours = bigger impact on your GPA. sometimes there’s not enough study time to go around  

if you wanna dress up for class, dress up for class. if you wanna pull up in the sweatshirt you wore yesterday, that’s okay too 

locate your classes before they start, so you don’t get lost on the first day. check and see if your college has an app of some sort with a campus map! 

old exams are more valuable than life itself  

set your class schedule as your home screen until you’ve got it down 

Chegg.com. you’re welcome 

carry a sweatshirt. it may be 100 degrees outside but chances are it’s 30 degrees in your lecture hall  

keep your syllabi  

write things down!! planner, phone, laptop, etc.  

sit in the front. go up and introduce yourself to your professor after the first day, say you’re looking forward to the class. build a relationship! Professors do not round grades for students they don’t at least recognize 

bring your chargers with you everywhere 

sometimes it’s easier to wake up early and study for an exam than stay up late the night before  

shower shoes. have you ever heard of toe fungus 

the dorms are bad BUT you will get through it (and make friends while doing it) 

there’s no such thing as a condom that doesn’t fit    

every time you skip class it costs you money. go to class. (unless you are dying or have no other time to finish something for another class)

your mental health is important. college can be overwhelming. know your limits. seek help if you need it. 

sometimes if you go to your professor’s office hours and ask questions a day or two before an exam they will steer you towards information that will be covered 

find your study space. the library is your friend  

parking is a bitch and a half 

it’s okay to miss your parents. call them. (they miss you too) 

talk to your advisor!!! let them advise you!!!

don’t study yourself into the ground. after college you’re a real life adult - enjoy college while it lasts. go out, make friends, if you drink, do so responsibly. uber exists for this very reason 

keep an eye on your drink at all times 

don’t feel pressured to go out and drink because college. it’s not for everybody  

on a related note: pedialyte is your friend  

don’t be afraid to drop a class that doesn’t fit you, but talk to your advisor first 

chances are you’re paying a lot of money to be where you are. party if you wanna, but do not let it interfere with your grades.  

you’re gonna get a lot of free stuff. take advantage 

if you can handle it with your class load, get a job. it’s a good way to make friends. 

it’s okay to change your major. really! 

first semester is easier if you get involved with something!!   

there will be weeks when you have nothing due, and then there will be weeks when you have 5 exams 14 assignments and 2 papers due all at once. take advantage of down time. work ahead!! make life easier for your future self  

carry a water bottle  

exercise will not only help avoid the freshman 15 but also make you feel better  

it’s okay if you’re not best friends with your roommate 

communicate if they are doing something that annoys you  

keep your dorm clean. the only thing worse than a tiny space is a messy one 

buy an umbrella

[freegucci-deactivated20150516]

Me: No one is hiring me

Adults: you’re just not trying hard enough

Me: oh yea, sorry about that. Let me apply “harder” this time. I’ll be sure to write my contact info extra “hard” this time. I’ll make sure to touch up my resume and make it hella “hard” this time around too.

[twentiesordie]

preach

[star-anise]

Adults:  You just need to hit the pavement, knock on some doors, call the hiring manager!

Every job application ever:  PLEASE NO UNSOLICITED VISITS OR PHONE CALLS.

[lemonsharks]

Fact: Our reception pool forwards the names of people who call unsolicited on to HR, who puts the names on a DO NOT HIRE, CANNOT FOLLOW DIRECTIONS list.

[othercat2]

This is what is the most terrifying about re-beginning the job search.

[knight-of-trash]

Fact: My brother was a store manager at AT&T for several years, and handled the hiring process. People that would call and call about the job wouldn’t get hired because, “They seemed to be the kind of people that would constantly need attention on the job, or wouldn’t make a good fit in customer service, because they don’t have the patience to wait for us to call them back.”

[lesbiangender-deactivated201908]

Meanwhile I’ve always been taught to do exactly those things because it “shows that you care and take initiative”

[thatdisasterauthor]

Here’s how I got my new job:

Made a profile on Indeed.

Crammed that fucker with every damn skill and job I have ever had. That time I ran roller-coasters for a month? On there. “Property Managing” my mother’s rental for six months because she was too lazy to drive over? On there. ALSO. If you are skilled in, say, Photoshop, don’t JUST put Photoshop as a skill. Also put Adobe Suite, Adobe Photoshop, etc. Put every possible term for your skill under the skills. Google skill lists and start slapping them in there if you have even a tiny bit of skill in them.

Downloaded the Indeed app on my phone.

Set up a saved search to show me all full-time jobs paying $15 or more per hour in my area, and set it to only show jobs with instant apply. I did not narrow it down by field or anything else. Just full-time, my area, $15/hr.

Wrote up a three sentenceish generic cover letter that was basically “I am good at customer service, client management, and handling the variety of tasks this job will involve. I will be available on X date and would love to speak to you about this position at your company.” But slightly more professionally put.

Just fucking clicked apply on everything. Anything that sounded like something I’d be willing and probably able to do. Like, I wasn’t applying to mechanic jobs or anything. But front-desk at a mechanic shop? Sure. Towing dispatcher? Sure. Print shop coordinator for some fancy real estate agency? Sure.

The beauty of Indeed’s mobile/quick apply is that once you’ve set up your profile on there clicking apply is literally all you have to do for about 75% of the quick apply jobs. Some will have a couple additional questions like how long you’ve done certain things, or when you’re available to start. Some have random fun questions like your favorite superhero (usually startups). You click that button and off your resume goes.

I spent about an hour every day doing this, submitted several hundred applications in the process, and heard back from…maybe 20. Got an interview at 4 or 5. Got hired at an insurance company that pays RIDICULOUSLY WELL. Took about a month.

Do I want to sell in insurance? Not particularly. But this job will support me, my art, my ability to buy a house, and PROVIDE RESIDUAL INCOME ONCE I RETIRE. Which. If I play my cards right I could do in as little as ten years.

Your mileage may vary with this technique, but given the way job hunting is set up now carpet bombing an application site like Indeed is always worth a shot. I will note that when I came across a job I thought sounded extra interesting and more in line with the fields I wanted to be in I’d save the application instead of applying, then take the time that night to put together a better full application.

Good luck. Job hunting is terrible.

[chongoblog]

This is all solid advice. One more piece of advice is be on the lookout for any career groups. If you manage to join any they can be a huge help whether it be making connections or just helping to keep your head on straight.

[justmakinchanges-deactivated202]

i want a “wanna go watch the sunset?” kind of love. a “just one more minute, one more touch, one more kiss” kind of love. a “mario kart after dinner, loser does the dishes” kind of love. an “i can’t sleep, wanna go for a drive?” kind of love. a goofy and cliche and almost too good to be true kind of love. that’s what i want.

[studyblob]

(Source) I found this online and thought it might be helpful with the SAT coming up! These are also good tips for any other test!

[thestudyfeels]

READING TIME: 6.4 minutes 

Triumphant music playing. A wild Nandini jumps in front of the green-screen, donning a red cape, and strikes a Superman pose but is blinded by about a hundred ring lights being switched on.

“Andrew, MUST you ruin my cameos?”

The redhead cameraman rolls his eyes and defends himself, “Lighting is everything.” Nandini clicks her tongue, shields her eyes with the cape (yes, she’s now Red Riding Hood) and puts on an equally blinding smile towards the camera.

“Welcome to the Conquerors’ Causerie Podcast Station! Today, I’m SET to solve every student’s mystery: productivity after school. So, if you’ll please, conquerors, put on that pirate hat (because she’s indecisive and now wants to be Captain Hook), and tune that rusty radio to our channel. Let’s SAIL!”

*The wild Nandini hops onto a chair and brandishes the cape like a sword* AHOY MATEY! ALL FORWARD!

NOTE!

This is a complete system. Though it has worked tremendously well for me, it may not for you. I suggest trying this for a week, noting difficulties, and tuning the system accordingly for the future.

Since each step has been patiently explained, some of y'all might get lost in admiring the quality. For better educational retainment, I’ve included a summary of the system at the end.

Feel free to reply with ideas on improving this structure! Passengers of the Conqeranic (this ship ain’t sinking though) are always looking to better themselves!

➡ ✨ Lastly, about my taglist: I tag readers at the end of every article now, so they get notified when I upload (because Tumblr killed links). Details—if you wanna be included—are in the End Card.

Step ONE: Make a ONE TASK To-do at School.

Before getting home, decide on ONE task to work on. No, DON’T plan your entire schedule out. That’ll become a consuming task, and our mission here is to make this system as easy as possible for it to stick.

Get yourself one starting point— whether it’s a high-priority task (upcoming deadlines, assignments due tomorrow) OR a low-priority one (homework from your favourite subject, skimming couple pages of a novel). For me, it’s the commitment to write 2 paras for the latest article I’m planning. It ain’t school related, I admit, but it’s high-priority work for me, so it counts. For you, perhaps it’ll be to knock 5 problems off the weekly statistics problem set or finish 7 pages of reading for an upcoming lecture– everything works!

Whatever is it is, here are the two criterias:

Make it SPECIFIC (2 paragraphs, 5 problems, etc.)

Something that lasts 20-30 mins, because y'all will kill me if this torture goes on any longer.

Step TWO: Start When You Get Home.

THIS is where everyone goes wrong. You CANNOT let yourself slack when you get home. For the system to be a success, this is key! The star on the X-Mas tree! The daddy cherry on the daddy pie! (Edit: we need therapy. I know, sex therapy?? … yes I’m leaving)

If you need to, mentally prepare yourself for 30 mins of work as you’re coming back home. Just ½ an hour! You won’t die if you don’t eat or shower immediately, but your productivity sure will.

Soldier, understand. Here’s why: When you’re back home from school, you’re at your weakest. Temptation levels are at an all-time high and your brain’s like “Um HELLO CHILD? We already did 8 hours of shit school, time for vacation.” If you can overcome this, everything else will be smooth. Just do half an hour of work!

DON’T let yourself slack. Am I being a parental disaster here? Maybe. But just trust me, kiddos, and buckle up for one pomodoro session.

Step THREE: Bare Necessities

(I made a pun!) 30 mins of work done—the foundation for today’s success now laid—you’re allowed a nice 45 min chunk to indulge in the following 3 necessities, GO:

Shower!

Eat food!

Make a full to-do!

Fair warning: This ain’t fun time, so stop reading that smut in the bathroom. The aim of this quarter is to refresh & prime yourself for the marathon of hustle coming up (‘course it’s coming, why you surprised honey, this is team conquer) and not slack and fall into a rut. So dare I say it: WiFi isn’t allowed.

I sympathize with the entire population of Gen-Z wailing and unsubscribing, so here’s an alternative to protect your productivity— Switch off the WiFi. But keep a 20 min YouTube video and your favourite playlists downloaded. Use that instead.

Now quick, the clock’s ticking!

#1 Shower, repeat affirmations and twerk your booty while you’re at it.

#2 Eat food (and watch the downloaded video), preferably something healthy, and get right back to your Slay Station (sorry, ‘desk’ made me yawn).

#3 Lastly, schedule your day. Take 15 mins and plan out the next few work hours with exactly what you’ve gotta do.

That’s the student’s version of Eat, Pray, Love. (… when you plug self-help books for free, WHERE ARE MY SPONSORS)

Step FOUR: Soldier, Begin the March!

Now, warrior! You’ve must sit down at your desk, and face your biggest fears. Invest the next 2 hours in getting high quality, high priority work crossed off. For me, this usually turns out to be readings, prepping for upcoming exams and doing maths (I’m trying to turn math into a habit this year, and this turns out to be the perfect time to work without distractions).

Couple restrictions: (I know y'all wanna suffocate me with a smelly sock)

No WiFi. There’s no way you’re gonna get deep work done with you changing playlists every 5 mins, answering texts and fighting the urge to watch Netflix.

Work in chunks of 30-45 mins. In your breaks, move, read a physical book, draft a bit of an article on an offline notepad or watch a downloaded video.

Perhaps keep a mug of coffee nearby. Personally, I become a sloth during the afternoons (science, mom, it’s called an afternoon slump) and it’s an actual struggle to not fall asleep for the next 84 hours.

Step FIVE: Take A Mid-evening Break.

You’ve earned a major break! And so have I, because I’m writing this during mine! (Nobody cares but I’mma brag anyway.) Most folks prefer a lunch break, but please allow me to introduce— the Mid-Evening Break.

Here are the guidelines for a mid-evening break:

+ Allocate an entire hour (or 1½ hour, depending on how accomplished you feel).

+ Couple productive things to do, which might’ve slipped off your schedule due to an accumulation of work:

Drink a cup of tea and listen to a podcast. (I recommend Harry Potter and the Sacred texts, for it’s easy to digest and very entertaining)

Exercise! If you’re new to it, just throw in a couple squats, push-ups, mountain climbers etc, or just some stretching. Move that bod, amigo.

Read! When was the last time you read for fun? This is also a prime time to read valuable nonfiction, if you enjoy reading it.

+ Some fun things to do, to rejuvenate:

Watch videos from your Watch Later. If you let yourself scroll through cat video recommendations, you’re 10x more likely to start bingeing on meaningless crap. Your Watch Later hopefully has better videos, and that ish has been in the dust for ages anyway.

Plan out your next meal, and get yourself a snack!

Reply to messages/asks or talk to a friend.

Watch ONE Netflix episode. Harness that non-existent self-control, frendo.

Personal Example: Most days, I start off by writing a bit of a post, throw in a quick workout, and watch a few videos. I’ll end with checking socials and maybe replying to some messages.

Step SIX: Rinse and Repeat.

Round two! Obviously, don’t overworking yourself, but working on lighter projects for 1-2 hours after the break sounds cool. These include getting started on upcoming projects, working on a hobby, learning a skill, getting future readings for lectures done. Again, work in chunks, and take breaks as and when required.

Remember to stop working at a decent time, then go enjoy your entertainment without guilt! Also get to bed reasonably soon! Be kind, do good!

ALTERNATIVE:

If you’re not used to working in a strict schedule like this, which follows work work work (Riri be thriving), begin by following this for just one day per week (follow your current routine for the rest of it) and continue building on it.

This one helps me get enormous amounts of shit done, but it can get a bit extreme. Listen to yourself, and tune this accordingly. (For instance, when I’m exhausted, I’ll take my mid-evening break a bit earlier than usual to not die. Listen. To. Yourself.)

For Those Keeping Minutes, Here’s The Recap:

As you’re going back home, pick one task to start work on.

When you get back home, start work on it immediately. Spend just 20-30 mins on the task– creating your foundation for success.

Take 45 mins to do the three necessities next: shower, eat, and plan.

Hustle time! Focus, get deep work done. Knock down an essay, prep for an exam— work without distractions, and keep coffee near to fight the afternoon slump.

2 hrs later, take a mid-evening break! You’re finally allowed to use the WiFi! For the next hour, do whatever rejuvenates you. We stan healthy living.

Round two! Work for 2-3 hours again, this time on comparatively lighter projects (or that dreaded homework you’ve been procrastinating on, yikes)

Once you’re done, live your life! Party! Watch a movie! Dance, shake your booty! Brush yo teeth and get to bed on time.

:) Thanks for joining the Conquerors’ Causerie Podcast! Try this out— and lemme know how it goes, #team conquer, ayo. Productivity is a routine, it doesn’t magically happen one sunny day. So give this shit a try!

🌿 The End Card For Love & Plugging

✨ JOIN MY TAGLIST? Here’s how! REPLY to this post (a must!) so that I keep track. Maybe also reblog the post to boost it (though that’s 100% optional), I’ll really appreciate!

Want to request a post? Drop your request in my ask box!

Have something to say? I treasure all feedback! If this post inspired you to do something, or you wanna throw some love/constructive criticism at me, hop into my ask box, or reply to this post itself!

Thanks for dropping by! New posts come out every Thursday, and so do my wins, journal entries, philo rants & photos of my plant babies throughout the week, so follow me if you’re into conquering life. I promise to be your loudest cheer woman. ✧

Sending you love and good energy, talk soon.

— Nandini 💌 (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡

✨ TAGLIST:

Thank you to these folks for supporting my content! I love you, hope y'all are doing well. ⬇

Keep reading

[fuckthisbloganditscurses]

Happiness Will Come To You.

[12goblins]

when tho

[fuckthisbloganditscurses]

When You Least Expect It. Probably Late March

[wizardshark]

reblog for happiness to come for you in late march!

[sleepnoises]

[inritum]

reblog and make a wish! this was removed from tumbrl due to “violating one or more of Tumblr’s Community Guidelines”, but since my wish came true the first time, I’m putting it back. :)

[ghostdog07]

OH MY FUCKING GOD, IT’S BACK ON MY DASH.

THIS SHIT WORKS OKAY, I AM DEAD SERIOUS.

The last time I saw this on my dash, I didn’t think it would happen, so jokingly I wished I could go to a fun. concert.

AND GUESS WHAT, I WENT TO A FUCKING FUN. CONCERT.

THIS SHIT WORKS, TRY IT.

[deathklaue]

YOOOOOOO

I SAW THIS ON MY DASH THE OTHER DAY AND THOUGHT “ITS WORTH A TRY” SO I WISHED I COULD GET A 3DS

LITERALLY LIKE 4 DAYS LATER MY DAD SENT ME A PICTURE OF THE 3DS XL HE BOUGHT FOR ME WHILE I WAS AT SCHOOL

IM STILL FREAKING OUT ABOUT THIS

[doryishness]

holy fuck, I didn’t expect this to work, I was like psh, whatever it’s just a quick reblog, but I wished my Dad would actually respond back to me AND HE FUCKING DID A FEW DAYS LATER, I GOT A FUCKING TEXT FROM MY DAD TODAY WHO HASN’T SPOKEN OR RESPONDED TO ME IN MONTHS HOLY FUCK WHAT IS THIS MAGIC IT WORKS. 

[victoriaringsinyourears]

I WANTED TO SEE MY BOYFRIEND AND I DIDN’T THINK I’D GET DAYS OFF BUT THIS WEEKEND I’M HEADING UP THERE??? THIS IS CRAZY SHIT 

[lenshade]

SO LIKE I JOKINGLY WISHED FOR MY OWN LEN KAGAMINE AND THEN LIKE A WEEK LATER I GOT A LEN NENDOROID??? H ELP

[themixedbagofwhat]

WTF OKAY SO THIS SHOT ACTUALLY WORKS BECAUSE WHEN I WISHED, I HAD WISHED MY CRUSH WOULD LIKE ME BACK AND GUESS WHAT? I HAVE A BOYFRIEND NOW. WHAT THE HELLLLL?????

[wodkat]

ok I’ve said this before but IM DOING IT AGAIN THE FIRST TIME I SAW THIS, MY WISH DID COME TRUE SO I REBLOGED AGAIN AND SAID IT IN THE TAGS BUT THEN I WISHED FOR SMTH ELSE AND IT LITERALLY LITERALLY HAPPENED LIKE A COUPLE DAYS LATER WHAT THE HELL SO NOW IM WRITING THIS HERE FOR YOU BC I DONT BELIEVE IN THIS CRAP BUT STILL IT’S AN AWFULLY BIG COINCIDENCE

[acstiel]

THE BOY I FELL I LOVE WITH LEFT TO TRAVEL THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD AND HAS BEEN GONE NOW FOR 3 MONTHS. WE HAVENT SPOKEN SINCE BECAUSE I DIDNT WANT TO MAKE HIM FEEL TRAPPED TO ME AND NOT ENJOY HIS TIME SO I WAITED FOR HIM TO CONTACT ME FIRST. I SAW THIS ON A PARTICULARLY LOW DAY WHEN I WAS MISSING HIM SO MUCH I CRIED FROM THE PAIN, GUYS I REALLY LOVE HIM, SO I THOUGHT MEH WHAT THE FUCK, AND WISHED HE WOULD JUST LET ME KNOW HE WAS OKAY.

GUYS.

HE FUCKING CALLED ME 20 MINUTES LATER

20 FUCKNG. MINUTES. LATER.

GOOD THINGS DO HAPPEN. AND ITS IN THIS POST.

[juststrokemyglabella]

I wish for someone to leave something in my ask.

[adweeb-deactivated20160228]

OKAY SO I ASKED FOR A HEDGEHOG AND NOW GUESS WHO HAS A PET HEDGEHOG

[mydeadcarcass]

I WISHED FOR SNK MERCH THE FIRST TIME. I GOT A JACKET.

I WISHED FOR MY GIRLFRIEND THE SECOND TIME. I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND.

[openyourthird-eye]

THIS WORKs I WISHED I WAS MOVING TO NORTH CAROLINA AND GUESS WHAT GUYS IM MOVING TO NC IN AUGUST I PROMISE U IM NOT LYING

[ariya-art]

guys ok ur probably thinking that this is all just bs right? WELL I THOUGHT SO TOO BUT I WISHED MY CRUSH WOULD CHAT ME AND HE DID AND IM FREAKING OUT not even kidding i swear on my grampas grave this works

[haihl-blog]

I love this it always works for me yey thank u shooting star :’)

[phoxae]

woah the notes let’s hope my wish comes true

[trashprinxe]

I have $24 to last me til Friday, what should I buy with it?

[ivy-michaels]

a pallet of ramen noodles

[trashprinxe]

I hate ramen noodles tho

[ivy-michaels]

hmmmmm bees?

[trashprinxe]

Are you suggesting that I eat bees for a week

[vanishinginthepark]

This is roughly what I make sure I have in my kitchen all the time along with rough estimates of local prices (MN). I buy a lot of things when they’re on sale and stockpile them. 

instant oatmeal packets with fruit in them - $3 probably and this can be breakfast all week and maybe even a lunch or dinner too since you usually get 10 packets

bag of rice - $2-3 depending on size. 1 cup dry rice makes enough for about two meals depending on what you add in. if you get cheap rice, rinse it before cooking

canned beans - usually under $1 per can - mix the can with your rice and you have a meal. chili-spiced beans will make bean tacos. Rinse non-spiced beans before adding to anything.

Tortilla - usually around $3 but you get like 8-10 of them. Tacos, wraps, and quesadillas are all fair game here

lettuce - $2 max around here, either a head of something or bagged precut depending on preference, use as a salad or on tacos

protein other than beans of some sort - probably $5-7 for meat, $2-3 for eggs. sometimes I can get bags of frozen chicken breasts in this price range and each is usually 2 meals if I add in a bunch of veggies. fry/scramble eggs and add to any of the options. 

your favorite stir fry sauce - $3ish

vegetables - $5ish. literally anything that you can 1. fry in a pan and 2. you’ll eat. fresh carrots are usually pretty cheap. get frozen if it’s cheaper and you’re strapped for cash/prep time on this part. 

alternative to stir fry:  pasta (~$2), fresh tomatoes (~$2), cheese (~$3). 

cheese and fruit if you have extra - look if your store has loyalty cards for free that you can load coupons on for cheese there’s always one it seems like.

[trashprinxe]

ahh thank you!!!

[hagar-972]

Reblogging because there’s never knowing who’ll need it.

Adding also: the single most nutritious food on earth is potatoes in their peel. Potatoes + some milk and butter = everything you need. They don’t last all that long, but they’re fairly cheap and the quickest cheat to “How do I not fuck my body up.”

(Cooked potatoes’ll last a while in the fridge. Potatoes nearing the end of their useful lives? Cook them to half-done first, figure out what to do with them later.)

Easiest baked potatoes: slice thinly but not paper-like, spread like cards, brush with oil (a silicone baking brush is totes worth the little it costs), spread salt and pepper (a little less than you think you’d like), cover with foil, stick in oven or toaster-oven at 150C for 40min. (If you have the patience, at that point click up to 180C, remove the cover and add 10-20min.) Reheats well, lasts in the fridge longer than it’ll take you to nom.

Dead-Animal-Free Whole Protein: some legumes + some grain. AKA rice and lentils, or rice and beans. (Maybe some fried onion for flavor; onion’s cheap and stays good a descent while. Fried onion makes everything taste better and keeps forever in the freezer, so frying up a bunch and keeping portions is not a half-bad idea.) (If going for the beans option - lentils are cheaper around here but fuck if I know what it’s like in your area - dump some tomato sauce and oil in; canola or soy are best health-wise, and far cheaper than olive; avoid corn.) Oh, what does instant couscous go for in your area? It keeps for fucking ever, it’s usually cheap, and it takes well to any and all added taste.

If you get to choose, black lentils taste the best and need the least soak-time (0-20min), green lentils are best for cooked stuff and red lentils are best in soups. (Red lentils + potatoes + root vegetables of choice + spices; cut into small pieces, cook, run through the blender if you wanna [stick blender’s awesome], freeze in portions.)

When possible, get instant soup mix. Get the good instant soup mix. (The kind that’s not made primarily of sugar, yeast or both. The rest is optional.) Dump 1/2tsp (or more, but start on the low end) into couscous, or chicken, or sprinkle over potatoes being stuck in the oven. Whatever. It’ll make most cooked-food-type things taste better. And again, lasts forever on the shelf.

If  you can have eggs (goodness knows they’re sometimes expensive), dump some tomato sauce in a pan (tomato sauce lasts forever on the shelf), add some oil, onion/beans to cook in it, hot peppers if you wanna, then when it’s nearly ready crack an egg or two in. Hard-boiled eggs last a remarkably while in the fridge, so when eggs reach near the end of their usable lives, just hard-boil and stick in the fridge. (Have eggs as often as you can, particularly as you have brain-shit going on. You need all the eggs, salt, and 60%-or-more chocolate you can get. Brains are made of cholesterol and salt, so folks with neuro or other brain shit need more of both. Potassium is also aces. You know what has the most potassium? Tomato paste.) Grated cheese keeps in the freezer for ever. Grated cheese will make a lot of things taste nicer. Preserved lemon juice keeps forever in the fridge. Grated cheese + oil + lemon = instant and awesome pasta sauce that’ll liven up the weeks-old dry pasta in the fridge. Slices bread also keeps well in the freezer. Try to have half a loaf or a loaf. Dry bread gets cut in cubes, mixed with oil and the aforementioned instant soup, stuck in oven at lowest until properly dry, then kept in an airtight jar to add to soups. (Over-ripe tomatoes come cheaper. They get turned into soup or sauce, then frozen in portions.)

[anextremelysadmeme]

this is a very good post but why are we glossing over the fact that the alternative to ramen is bees

[sunreon]

i have it on pretty good authority that bees are not an affordable eating alternative to ramen.

[camwyn]

Seriously, bees are expensive

[taraljc]

Trufax. 

And speaking as someone who is also living off oatmeal, beans, and brown rice, if you need recipes, I have them! 

Today I made 16 bean soup with chicken sausage and it was crazy good and I got 8 servings out of the one batch (froze half). I usually get the cheapest beans I can find, and GOYA bags of beans are usually $1-2. I soaked them overnight,rinsed them, and threw them in a gallon lidded saucepan with 2 boxes of chicken stock (also on sale for $2), two bay leaves, sauteed green pepper, onion, and celery, some garlic from a jar, about two tablespoons of dried herbs de provence,and the “fancy” bit was adding $6 bourbon and apple chicken sausages. You can actually sub veg stock for chicken and skip the sausage and make it vegan and it would still taste great.

Oh and I’ve been doing steel-cut oats. I don’t buy the name brand ones, I just pick whatever store brand/generic I can get for less than $4. They take about ½ an hour to make, but they’re super tasty and I make 2 cups of dried oats at a time with dried cranberries and that’s breakfast for 4 days at least. 

I’ve also been making black bean soup, red beans and rice, and curried potatoes and chick peas. I got 100 quart and pint take-away containers from Amazon for $20 and they all stack neatly and are perf for one serving of whatever.

[amireal2u]

Additionally, depending on where you live, whole rotisserie chickens are something like $4-$7 and are easily 4 - 6 servings of protein and on TOP of that, if you stick the carcass in a ziplock bag and then the freezer you have excellent soup makings. Using bones in soup literally squeezes all viable vitamins and minerals out of the suckers. Soup made from lots of bones is great to keep around if you get sick, it’ll feed and sooth you relatively easily and as you get better you can add noodles. ON TOP OF THAT, a quarter to a half cup of soup broth added to a lot of dishes also adds those nutrients PLUS flavor.

[jmathieson-fic]

Here’s my “How to eat for a week on $30″ post.

[geardrops]

don’t forget Good and Cheap: Eat Well on $4 A Day

[lickmetilllicecreammmm]

Yall are clutch for this lmao cuz ima need this for about the first month after I move

[watts-of-dragons-deactivated201]

Reblogging cause who knows what your followers are going through rn

[whitepeopletwitter]

It happened again

[ave-aria]

Tony Hawk could enter a ‘Tony Hawk lookalike contest’ and end up in last place.

[lil-sorbet]