I think I need to say this out loud, even if I’m like… 100+ days late.
Before the Stranger Things finale, before everything blew up, before the chaos—there was Byler. And I was there. Not casually. Not “oh I like this ship” and move on. No. I was deep in it. I’m talking 12 to 18 years old, every single day, all day. Tumblr wasn’t just an app, it was basically my second brain. I woke up and checked it. I went to school and still checked it. If I mentioned Byler to someone, I already had a tab open to prove my point.
It wasn’t just a phase, it was a whole era of my life.
And then the ending happened.
People processed it immediately. First week, first month, even now—everyone has something to say. Some are still angry, some moved on, some turned it into jokes. And me?
I just… didn’t come back.
I didn’t make a dramatic exit. I didn’t post a goodbye. I just stopped opening Tumblr. Not completely—I’ve posted maybe two or three things, reblogged something here and there. But every time I get a notification, I feel this weird… block. Like my brain goes “nope, not today.”
The funny thing is, I can’t even uninstall the app.
Because somehow it feels like I’d be deleting something way too personal. Like I’d be erasing a version of myself that lived and breathed Byler for years. And yeah, I know how that sounds. But if you’ve ever loved something this intensely, you get it.
I’ve had friends who cried. Readers from my Wattpad who told me they were genuinely heartbroken, but still found comfort in the things I wrote. And then there’s me, just… here. Not crying, not ranting, not moving on either.
I don’t know if it’s denial or shock or just my brain protecting itself.
All I know is: I’m still not ready.
And the reason I’m even posting this is because I just got another Tumblr notification and it hit me all over again.
So if you see this, if you interact with it, if you reblog—
I probably won’t.
I’m disappearing again. Maybe for another three months. Maybe more.
Not because I don’t care.
But because I cared too much.
















