As weak as you make me. @softandfragile - Tumblr Blog

take your carriage very slowly by your rival’s home, that she might see your latest hat

Eat your heart Catherine, you toad-eating hag.

Elizabeth, you must surely be aware that I am unable to view the roads from my apartments due to the vastness of my estate…

alsuper2

Oh, please do forgive my mistake, Catherine, I had only assumed you could see from that ostentatiously high pedestal atop of which you have placed yourself

hancarolyn

goin home to be ugly in peace is one of my fav things to do

domesticlager

today i heard 2 kids talking about buying fake IDs after school and so i started eavesdropping cuz u know thats big kid stuff and then one was like “yeah but is all this really worth it like im pretty sure the fake IDs cost more than the fish we r gonna buy”

to buy fish at petco u have to be 18 or older

they were going to get fakes to buy fish

thebootydiaries

chicks b like “yeah I’m a bad bicht I’ll ruin your life xoxo” meanwhile they start shaking when they raise their hand in class

quixoticrobotic

Ah you’re watching sailor moon? I love that anime. The way they just [clenches fist] sail all those fricking moons

foreveralone-lyguy

I like to slip subliminal messages go out with me into all of my text posts

pyropotter

You are angry about something. “Clam down,” I text you. You assume I have made a typo, but in fact I am holding a small soldier clam in my hands. He died so young. War is hell

domesticoctopi

um waitress?? i ordered cocaine but all i got was this soft drink?? ?

fasterfood

“ARE YOU READY TO ROCK??” the hyped-up rock singer shouts at the wild crowd. suddenly everyone goes silent. one lone soul from near the back shouts back “no, we arent.” everyone else murmurs in agreement. the concert is over.