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2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
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@softcollarswitches
I don’t know -how- Daddy and I managed not to get any photos together during Folsom Street Fair this weekend, but here are few captures with some of our amazing queer family ❤️💙 Badass bats are made by the wonderful Scout of the Degenderettes!
Got to see these lovelies at Folsom. Could they be any more beautiful?!
This Muslim teen has the perfect response to everybody who told her she couldn’t be a ballerina
While the talented Stephanie Kurlow, now 14, continued to perform in films, musicals, and talent competitions, she was shocked to find that there were “no full-time ballet studios that readily accepted me wearing hijab.” So she did something about it.
Gifs: Bjorn Borg
Paper Cuts by Antoine Casals.
queer! latinx! books! yaaaas. A video where I talk about being a queer latino (when am I not talking about that?) and share some queer latinx YA books, aka books with protags who are latinx and queer! Go read em!
6 things that don't make you a bad Dom(me)
Tumblr often shows two sides: fake Dom(me)s and perfect Dom(me)s. The reality is much more nuanced and that perfection is a fallacy. During my early days, I wish someone had told me that and had assured me that the following six things didn’t make me a bad dominant.
1. Having limits It may be obviously, but Dom(me)s’ limits, be they soft, hard or fleeting, are as important and valid as those of a sub. You don’t have to be into everything.
2. Needing practice Some people say you’re born as a Dom(me) or a sub. I don’t necessarily agree with this, but what is undeniable is you’re not born with the full dominant skills set. It’s okay to need time to learn how to give commands, tie a rope, swing a flogger, or even control your own stamina. Learning is part of the joy and it’s okay to be a student in dominance until you die; it’s much better that than being ignorant about your skills set (or lack there of).
3. Requiring equal effort A lot of “bad Dom(me)s” are lazy as all hell, barking commands and then not following through. But there are a lot of equally “bad subs” who don’t put an ounce of effort into the dynamic and are simply looking for someone to tie them up and provide orgasms. If you’re putting your all into a lifestyle, you have the right to expect equal commitment.
4. Not always being “on” We all have libidos that come and go. There’s a sense that a Dom(me) is good to go at any time of the day. It is completely normal to sometimes not feel like sex or not feel particularly dominant.
5. Having a drop Subs often drop after a scene, but so too can Dom(me)s. Dropping is completely normal and it’s okay to need your own kind of aftercare.
6. Not being a Dom(me) Great Dom(me)s aren’t always dominant. Many are switched, having the marvellous gift of enjoying both sides of a power dynamic. Enjoying submission makes you no less of a gifted and devoted dominant.
Tumblr provides a meticulously curated snapshot of people’s lives. Even those particularly legendary dominants started off from nothing and have their weaknesses; they’re brilliant because of their flaws, not despite them.
Don’t believe the myths made by others and measure yourself by your own potential.
Yours,
The Gentleman
ESPECIALLY 1 and 5. So very much.
Do you have any advice for women sort of "reading" male doms to tell which ones are trouble? Or just reading guys in general now that I think about it. Like any advice about early warning signs that a guy is dangerous? An older woman I know always said any guy that tries to give you stuff really early on he's looking for you to "owe" him and should be kept an eye on. I just ask because you seem like you're a really good judge of character and when a guy isn't on the up and up.
uhhh off the top of my head
Phallic centered, 100+ photos of his dick, mentions his dick, his dominance comes from his dick, he thinks he can ‘fix’ you with his dick, keeps sending photos of his dick, mentions his dick more then he mentions anything else
Thinks your submissiveness is because you’re a woman, and therefore ‘natural’ so any forced sex or abuse is simply him putting you in your ‘natural’ place
Has no hobbies or other interests, and doesn’t care about yours
Demanding and impatient
He’s simple, he just want to fuck you, he just want to feel important, he reeks of insecurity and is desperate, he needs you to act like he’s a king and a god, he needs his cock worshipped, he doesn’t care about your needs, he is stuck in this frantic, desperate need to stop the thoughts of worthlessness and rejection and he will force this on you because he is like a scared rabid animal stuck the corner, scared of more rejection, so he won’t hear it.
Can’t just be a normal, interesting, person
Back tracks and passive aggressive, he mentions something you don’t like and says something like ‘well I’m the dom and you’re just a sub-’ ‘haha, don’t take it so seriously-’ ‘you’ll like it ;), you’ll let me do what I want,’ ‘Well my last sub was a real sub, I guess you’re just a fake-‘
Expects things you’re not comfortable with, demands them, calls you ‘crazy’ and ‘typical’
Believes you owe him anything, no, you owe him nothing
Doesn’t fulfill his promises, but keeps promising, and the promises become more and more extravagant.
Brings up old subs a lot and compares you
Lots of compliments but very little action
He expects you to fit him completely, his opinions are your opinions, you have to believe what he believes, you have to like what he likes
Automatically assumes you are of lesser intellect and doesn’t listen to any of your opinions, ideals, and laughs off anything you say that doesn’t go with what he believes
Isn’t upfront with what he likes, expects, and who he is. Charming at first, but then demanding, insecure, and needs a constant ego boost from you.
Calls all his past subs ‘crazy’
Isn’t sympathetic or empathic
Doesn’t treat you like you’re an individual, surprised when you like things aren’t typical to your type, and ignores specific things that you like and goes with ‘well, all women like this-‘
Arguments become personal, debating turns into insulting, he refuses to respect your personal views
His ambition is to one day, actually have ambition
Believes that regardless, he’s better than you because you are a woman and he is a man
Around friends he takes the side of his friends regardless of the situation and seems to be ‘beta’ around the ‘alpha’ male in the group
Treats you like a trophy, always mentions appearance, or sexual prowess, but never mentions anything else you’ve accomplished
rolls his eyes at anything ‘feminine’ and instantly sees it as vapid and a waste of time
expects you to baby him, even as a dom, acts like your his mother in terms of care and coddling
Catch him lying and he isn’t upfront about it but dances around the topic in hopes you’ll shut up about it
Speaks badly of past ex’s, consistently
threatens you in anyway, even if he laughs it off later
thinks all men naturally have a highly sexual appetite and therefore are entitled to sex constantly, also thinks that view forgives his cheating because ‘he’s just a man,’
Any physical change that happens to you (loss of weight, hair cut) he feels entitled too and gets upset when you change you’re own body without his approval first
Wants you to fit his ‘ideal’ woman even if it’s nothing like who you really are
has too many fantasies about women that are all sexual with the women as props
has no real female friends
doesn’t trust your male friends with no reason other than they are male
uhh… this is really long now, so yeah, these are some ways to tell if a dom or a man is shit
This really shook me to my core.
#this is my ex 100000% I never realized
well I’m super happy he’s an ex babe~
Sounds veeeeeeeery familiar.
This is actually a good list of how to tell if ANY man is bad to be with/should be avoided.
And low and behold the reason I’ve never had a boyfriend, because all the guys my age in the immediate area have grown up to be very much like this.
All of the ones who aren’t are either already in relationships or just not into me.
I’m really not sure why so many men in my area are like this. I suppose I live in a pocket full of mysoginistic culture :/
yes, unfortunately, it’s called planet earth :(
lmao I was reading down this getting ready to reblog it in case I needed to add ‘calls all his past subs crazy’ but no, there it was already. good good.
other things I would add from an exciting mountain of personal experience:
talks about identifying with fictional villain he believes is misunderstood. may or may not have an entire closet full of media of this villain
shows off some ‘extreme’ bit of BDSM kit at you when you barely know him to try to shock you or gauge your reaction
voices the belief that any specific sex act is inherently degrading
I see ‘compares you to his former subs so you feel you have to match up to them’ a lot but in my experience also ‘tells you all his former subs were nothing compared to you’ is a very bad sign
is not comfortable with the fact of your not drinking or not taking recreational drugs and/or refuses to abstain from them around you if you ask
uses soft pressure tactics i.e. ‘I’ve always wanted to do x thing but none of my other partners would ever let me’ or ‘I understand if x thing is too wild for you’
ask him to choose a first date movie for you to watch together and it’s something in which women are sexually exploited, abused or murdered
jokes about how he might decide to ignore your safeword
says he can ‘see past’ your physical flaws or any other thing you’ve expressed insecurity about
thinks it’s funny to try to scare you in that dude way where they’re like ‘I’ve caught a spider! you’re scared of spiders so WHAT IF I WAVE IT IN YOUR FACE’
meh there’s almost certainly more (I dated nearly every fucking abusive douchebag in the south of England) but it’s half past midnight and also probably no-one cares but DON’T DATE ANY OF THESE PEOPLE
Amber Rose has the best response for why women should NEVER feel ashamed of demanding safe sex
Amber Rose is simply not interested in your slut-shaming. The unapologetic social-media star doesn’t mince words when it comes to a woman’s right to own her sexuality. And you have to hear how passionately she defends the women in the audience.
Gifs: VH1
The Trans Issue No One Is Talking About
Transwomen should be able to ignore or play with cultural beauty standards just like cis women do.
READ MORE
Artist unknown, which is unfortunate because I love these!! Images from Cosmopolitan’s “9 Oral Sex Positions You Need In Your Life”.
IF YOURE IN THE HURRICANE MATTHEW PROJECTED LANDFALL AREAS, PLEASE STAY SAFE!! GAS UP, HAVE EXTRA WATER,CLOTHES, FIRST AID SUPPLIES, AND CHARGE ALL YOUR DEVICES.
Miracles <3
Kimchi Cuddles is made possible entirely through support from viewers like you! Check out the monthly rewards for becoming a Kimchi patron! https://www.patreon.com/kimchicuddles
Have you encountered ethical monogamy?
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