Toska

***occasionally posts self in lingerie etc. IF YOU REMOVE MY CAPTIONS YOU WILL BE BLOCKED. <3 *** “No single word in English renders all the shades of toska. At its deepest and most painful, it is a sensation of great spiritual anguish, often without any specific cause. At less morbid levels it is a dull ache of the soul, a longing with nothing to long for, a sick pining, a vague restlessness, mental throes, yearning. In particular cases it may be the desire for somebody of something specific, nostalgia, love-sickness. At the lowest level it grades into ennui, boredom.” -Vladmir Nakabov Where I'm a pervert when no one's looking....

[marrymejasonsegel]

Straight dudes are their own worst enemies when it comes to getting laid.

[marrymejasonsegel]

Like, i know so many girls who are down for something more casual and who actually have really low standards that boil down to “treat me like a person, not a talking fleshlight”. And dudes refuse to even meet those standards!

Like, you know how many times I’ve been talking to a guy and I’ve already decided that when we hang out I’d down to mess around, only for the guy to start talking super graphically or send me a picture of his dick–and then literally all desire I had for him went out the windows.

Like dudes are so obsessed with sex that theyre scaring almost-certain sex partners away because they refuse to act like human beings capable of rational thought.

[marrymejasonsegel]

Bring thing this back to add an example:

I started talking to a guy on tinder.  He was funny, flirty and super nice even though he wasn’t really my type. Most importantly, he was completely respectful. He managed to let me know he thought I was attractive, and that he was interested in me, without ever saying anything gross, asking for pictures or asking for sex. We met up for drinks and talked for hours and I realized I was more attracted to him than I initially thought . Not only did I sleep with him on the first date, but I’ve hooked up with him multiple times after that. The first time, he didn’t make any assumptions. We hung out, started making out and then he asked me if I wanted to stay the night. That was it. He STILL has never asked me for a nude, or sent me some overtly sexual message or picture. 

But SOMEHOOOW I still want to have sex with him.

Conversely, I started talking to another guy on tinder today. On our FIRST conversation, he has mentioned my boobs 3 times, invited me over to “watch a movie” (he added the quotes, not me), suggested a fwb set up and just asked for nudes.

GUESS WHO ISN’T GONNA GET IN MY PANTS.

[boobsandbravado]

I try so hard to tell them.

[henriksaves]

Trash men are out here getting advice from other trash men so they don’t know how to act. 🙄

[your-naked-magic-oh-dear-lord]

But… But why are they incapable of learning from bad experience after bad experience?

[asexualbrigadier]

BECAUSE PERVASIVE CULTURAL SEXISM HAS TAUGHT THEM THAT THE PROBLEM IS YOU.

THINK ABOUT THE MOVIES. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU SEEN A GUY PROTAGONIST BEHAVE CONSISTENTLY OBNOXIOUSLY TOWARDS HIS LOVE INTEREST AND STILL END UP GETTING THE ROMANTIC PAYOUT? PROBABLY A LOT. (EVEN MOVIES I OTHERWISE LIKE, SUCH AS GOTG2, DO THIS.) THE MODEL IS, ESSENTIALLY, THAT WOMEN ARE LIKE SLOT MACHINES WHERE YOU PUT INTERACTION IN AND EVENTUALLY THE WHEELS COME UP “SEX”, REGARDLESS OF THE NATURE OR QUALITY OF THAT INTERACTION. ANY WOMAN WITH WHOM THIS DOESN’T HAPPEN IS ASSUMED TO BE BROKEN IN SOME WAY.

(”THE FRIENDZONE” IS BASED ON A VARIATION ON THE SAME MODEL, IN WHICH YOU PUT IN A PERIOD OF NON-SHITTINESS AND ARE “”“SUPPOSED””” TO GET SEX AS A PAYOUT.)

[hollowedskin]

I’ve been painting an intensely personal piece about trauma for the past week and i’ve been trying to use that to sort out a lot of my jumbled thoughts and feelings.

And one of the things that struck me while i was talking about what this painting means to me is just how deep the wound is when people say the abuse you suffered made you a better person.

I hate it when people try and tell me how my trauma made me better, made me good. It feels like a justification, that it was worth it because it improved me. I hate the way it makes me feel when people tell me that it made me kind, because the implication is there that i would have been cruel otherwise. When you say ‘but think about all the people you are helping now’ you’re saying i wouldnt have cared.  What you’re telling me when you say it made me a better person is that abuse saved me from being a bad one. But not only that, when you tell me that it made me better, that it made me good, that it made me strong and kind and caring. it feels like you’re saying that maybe if i had been better, stronger, kinder… maybe it wouldn’t have needed to be done. If i was a better person, a better child, i wouldn’t have had to suffer to fix me like this. If i was these things to begin with i wouldn’t have deserved it.

bad people do awful things to vulnerable people. Not people who deserve it, not because they are some kind of force of nature using violence to bless people with kindness. but because they can get away with it. Because they want to. Because they’re fucking awful human beings who like causing pain. thats it.

there’s nothing you can take away from my trauma that comes out positive. im not a better person because of it, im sick, im broken, im angry and bitter and deeply deeply depressed. i’ll never be able to be the person i could have been. Yes it changed me but fucking hell not for the better. My abusers didn’t give me kindness. that’s all me, and its’s something i fight tooth and nail to keep from being burned up in the rage and self hate that consumes me.  if i am kind its because I am kind. how dare you give them more peices of me

[wnq-writers]

I miss your smile. I miss your voice. I miss your hugs and kisses. I miss your silliness. I miss the way you tease me. I miss the way you make me feel so loved. I miss the way you call my name and it’s like music to my ears. I miss the feeling how you bring butterflies in my stomach. I miss all of you. I miss you being here with me. I miss you so crazy.

thousand-miles-lovestory 

[homojabi]

Fetishization is not a compliment. It’s not flattering to have your humanity reduced to one aspect of your identity and to only be considered attractive to someone because you’re a member of a particular group. Fetishization is dehumanizing, disgusting, disrespectful and violent. There’s nothing cute about it.

[myintention-s]

Someone who has been emotionally abused will:

• Constantly apologize • Hide their feelings in fear of upsetting you • Break down during small disagreements thinking it will explode • Need a lot of reassurance Please be patient, we are trying.

[psych2go]

21 Ways To Tell if Someone Is Suicidal | Psych2Go (new video march 11)

[nerdiest-nerd-herd]

This is so important

[donutmesswithme]

This can save a life

[kadiikoy]

This is so heartbreaking to watch, but important.

[jkh-2001]

Also please only watch this if you are in the right mindset

[eraserz]

Fun Little Depression Things That Piss Everyone Else Off

- Forgetting literally everything from phone calls to visits to where you put your wallet(I just had it I swear )

- Needing 12 hours of sleep everyday but only in the middle of the day

- Void days

- “I’ll clean my room tomorrow” everyday

- eating everything or nothing

[stag-bi]

- being bitter about other ppl having fun and being happy

- feeling guilty/like a failure when u cant be happy for other ppl

- TERRIBLE, ALL-CONSUMING JEALOUSY

- being angry at other ppl when you just dont have the energy to be angry at urself anymore

- whining allllll the time

- talking abt how u wanna die but knowing its annoying everyone and making everyone upset but u cant stop talking abt it

[teamfreesexuality]

YES

[anti-capitalistlesbianwitch]

Exactly.

[himari-takakura-deactivated2016]

Just abuse things

- “IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY!!” - “you arent mad at me right? Oh my god you are! IM SORRY” - “is this my for me? Can I use this? Can I drink this? Can I-” - “pls help me make this decision for me” - “do what you please!!!” “What if that makes everyone mad at me” -studying people intensely because you are afraid you might do something that will make them mad - Saying something in a tone louder than usual and feeling like this is your last day alive - low self stem - feeling mentally and emotionally exhausted after expressing any sort of feeling and crying right after that - when someone talks or does something in an attitude thats not usual from them and Knowing That It’s Your Fault - “i dont deserve this why are you doing this for me” - not knowing the difference between a joke, sarcasm, and passive aggressive speech - unhealthily clinging to anyone who’s remotely nice to you - not knowing what to say NEVER - not knowing how to react to compliments, nice words, genuine care or anything like that and feeling incredibly sick at the thought of someone genuinely loving you - Crying. - having to explain every single movement and word you do and say to literally anyone - being really good at lying and pretending as a survival strategy - Not living, surviving. - calculating and overthinking everything you do and say, the time you say it, how you say it, the expression you have when you say it, your voice tone…everything - getting panic attacks over the tiniest things - unhealthily clinging to fictional characters and shows - lack of energy to do anything because you use a lot of effort in every single movement you do - “im useless” - when someone compliments you on something and you needing to be Perfect at it because then you dont have any reason to live - intrusive thoughts - Perfectionism - Over sensitiveness - “It’s my fault.” - not knowing how to react about criticism - Isolation - getting startled when someone touches you - being hyperaware of your surroundings and at the same time having no time and space perception - believing everything everyone says - Feeling like any day is your last day

[utara-north-deactivated20200707]

Wow I… wow.

[wnq-writers]

For years I mastered the art of feeling as minimum possible or feeling nothing at all. Whether it was love or longing or resentment. I had none of it. And now I look at you and I feel way too much. It’s feels like years of emotions have erupted and I have no clue what to do. Whether it’s love for every inch of you, or longing your presence every second of the day, or resentment towards the world for not realizing what they had when they had you. I feel too much. And I can’t make it stop.

belongedtothestars 

[goodbyeeveryonee-deactivated202]

moodboard of all the lingerie i want rn

[1ofnonee-deactivated20260227-de]

need all

[strayghost]

link to the shop!! the artist is jayni lovechild and she makes all of these by hand herself!

[picturesofjess]

She says she’s mine. I know she lies. 🕷🕸 #tricky http://ift.tt/2j3gRTv

[exclusivelyselectedlingerie]

♥

[postingtrauma]

Child-on-child abuse is a thing that happens.

Sexual abuse between children happens. Physical abuse between children happens. Emotional abuse between children happens.

Just because your abuser was another child doesn’t mean that what you went through is somehow less serious or less traumatic than if an adult did it. Even if you know the child was reenacting their own abuse with you, that doesn’t mean you should feel guilty about being traumatized by it.

When people undermine the impact of bullying and cocsa (child-on-child sexual abuse), don’t listen to them. They clearly have no clue what they’re talking about. The research on the effects of emotional and/or physical bullying and cocsa is on your side. You’re not exaggerating or being overly sensitive. Abuse is abuse.

[furiousgoldfish]

Child abusers don’t let children know they’re victims. Survivors of child abuse by large don’t know they’ve been abused. Abusive parents raise the child to have great compassion for them, to always view them as humane as possible, they make sure children are grateful to them, they point out every single thing they did for the child, such as “paid for your stuff” or “financed your schooling” or “gave you a roof over your head and fed you all these years” (even though to not do these things would be straight illegal, but they don’t mention that part, do they) as a proof of how good and generous they are, they make sure to recite all possible excuses to why they’re acting so abusive, they had a hard life, they have a lot on their plate, they’re good people they just make mistakes, they’ve been badly treated too, they don’t even know they’re hurting you, they’re insisting you’re too sensitive and get hurt from nothing, they don’t let the child hold them accountable or hold them guilty for any of their abuse. Abused child will be ashamed of themselves and hardly ever consider themselves a victim, they will be taught to repress and ignore trauma symptoms, to find a way to blame themselves for everything, to feel guilty just for how awful they feel all the time.

Emotionally abused child strongly believes that their parent is inherently good and deserves all the compassion in the world, all the excuses, all forgiveness and none of the blame for their actions (parents make sure children know that the blame would hurt them so children must never blame them) and will fight to defend the parent and point out why abuse was not really abuse, why children deserved it, why nobody is to blame, except maybe themselves, because “they weren’t good enough” to appease the parent which would then hopefully be a bit more kind (of course not). They often wont even admit how badly they’re scared of their parents.

To have an abused child realize they’ve been exploited, lied to, betrayed, systematically destroyed and dehumanized by their parent, their entire world needs to break down, everything they’ve been taught has to be acknowledged as a lie, what they considered right and fair needs to change to wrong, who they trusted the most needs to change to be least trust-worthy, who in their head, made sure they survive up to that point, needs to turn into a person who almost cost them their life, and destroyed it rather than held it safe. It’s not a fun ride. It’s devastating to go through, it breaks a person apart completely and forces them to re-construct their entire reality. And it’s the only way to have a chance to really recover, to validate themselves and their pain, to understand to what depth they’ve been damaged, and by who and why. It’s the only way to realize that they’re entitled to life, to food, to roof, to nurturing, to everything that was held against them, they’ve been required to feel grateful that they weren’t left to die. 

For those who still have to face this, or are facing it right now, you are going through the worst of your life right now. For those who have no empathy or patience for survivors to figure their lives out, fuck you, try living their life for a few years, see if you survive it. For abusers, I hope someone figures out how to force you to feel every single bit of pain you’ve inflicted on your children, I hope you fucking scream yourself to death from pain you’ve caused.

[ishouldntsay]

Fuck my abusers.

[sprite-jp]

[femsolid]

Once on facebook I argued with 2 different men on 2 different subjects in 2 different groups. It had nothing to do with feminism. A few hours later, both men sent me private messages saying almost the exact same thing : one said “suck my dick” the other said “you should only open your mouth if it’s to suck dicks”. Another time I was discussing the pressure women face to shave their armpit hair and this guy replied “nobody gives a fuck about your pubes lmao”.

When women debate men, men often end up making lured comments, sexual jokes or just simply throwing sexual insults. I’ve seen it countless times. It usually happens when the woman stands her ground/doesn’t change her mind/has a strong opinion about something/is a good debater. Their goal is to shut the woman up, put her in her place as the sexual object she is, humiliate her, make her uncomfortable, scare her, reduce her to her sex, remind her that she is worthless ultimately and might as well shut up. The goal is also to disqualify her in the eyes of anybody else who might be listening to her.

But it’s also very telling how men consider sex as a weapon to humiliate and control women.

[girlsmoonsandstars]

they know they deny it but they all know

[shiz-ko-e-deactivated20181215]

you put this so eloquently, you verbalized something I’ve known but was never able to fully grasp. thank you.

[toodomforyou]

Hey just a suggestion! Please don't say pedophilia when you mean child porn or someone talking about having sex with a kid, pedophilia is a disorder.

Hey, it’s the tumblr police again!

We get visited by the tumblr police pretty often here at TDFY. Either we didn’t use exactly the right language for their personal taste or one of us (god forbid) used a non-gender-neutral pronoun or acknowledged the existence of heterosexuals. (NOTE TO TUMBLR POLICE- THIS IS A JOKE) And honestly, we take most of it in stride because we know you guys mean well, and we honestly do strive for inclusiveness and we don’t want to make anyone feel unwelcome here.

But this particular time? Yeah, this anon is worried we’re lumping the lovers of kiddy porn in with the pedophiles. Or maybe they’re worried we’re not giving the pedophiles a fair shake because they’re “mentally ill”. I’m not entirely sure what they are getting at here.

What I am sure of, though, is our stance regarding kiddy porn aficionados, pedophiles, MAPs, erebophiles, and any other adult whose sexuality revolves in some way around minors.

The stance is this: Fuck you.

Pedophiles? Fuck you.

Viewers of kiddy porn? Fuck you.

Erebophiles? Fuck you.

Minor Attracted Persons? Fuck you.

Makers of kiddy porn? Fuck you.

Writers of erotic fiction involving minor rape: fuck you.

Reformed child molesters? Fuck you.

Non-reformed child molesters? Fuck you.

Child rapists? Fuck you.

NAMBLA? Fuck you.

If you don’t fall into one of these categories but your sexuality revolves around minors in some awful way that I haven’t thought of here? Fuck you.

Have I made this crystal fucking clear, anon? I don’t care what specific scientifically defined category someone fits in. We use the word “pedophile” for a whole shitload of things that aren’t *technically* pedophilia because it’s a word everyone knows and society as a whole has agreed to be repulsed by. It’s a word that everyone recognizes as an indicator of a shitty, worthless individual who preys on those who can’t defend themselves.

I’m not for one second going to entertain the notion that we owe these fucking people anything more than a boot to the ass. Because I value inclusiveness and diversity and I respect the viewpoints and experiences of every human being on this planet regardless or race, creed, or culture, but if you fuck or want to fuck children, I draw the fucking line and I will do that every single fucking time.

I hope this has helped clarify our stance on the matter, anon.

-LMS