Michelle

You are loved, beautiful, and enough.

[softlyou]

Even years: years of loss 

Odd years: years of growth

[softlyou]

Day 4: Amsterdam 2017

Day four: Amsterdam. I woke up kinda early today to meet up with this girl from the GLT page who recently moved to Amsterdam and I was super nervous because I wasn't sure if I'll like her or not. But we ended up spending the whole day together. We went to the Van Gogh museum, saw the I Am Amsterdam letters, went on the swing at A'DAM Tower, ate dinner, then went to the Red Lights District together. In between the A'DAM Tower and dinner, I went to the Anne Frank House by myself since she had already seen it and my goodness it was a humbling, moving experience. Everything today was really fun. Van Gogh is everything I hoped it to be; so very glad I got to see some of my favorite works by him up close. And the swinging over the tower to see the skyline of Amsterdam wasn't as scary as I thought it'll be. Definitely glad we did that as well. Towards the end of the night, my friend biked us around Amsterdam and that was a really fun experience. Although I didn't get to ride bikes around Amsterdam, it was just as much fun sitting on the back. Very grateful to have crossed paths with her. It's a blessing to be able to experience life through traveling and I can see how traveling becomes addicting. It broadens your horizons and makes you appreciate life just a little bit more. My days are brighter and obviously it's because I'm having fun, but still my days bring me so much joy. I feel more present in the experience. As each day passes by, I grow to love traveling by myself more and more. I get to do what I want on my own time and I've met such great people along the way. Life is really great to me right now and I want to enjoy as much of it as I can. Not to stay I can't still enjoy life when I get back home, but I want to take these moments out to thank God and the universe for blessing me with the opportunity and courage to travel.

[softlyou]

Day 3: Amsterdam 2017

Day three and it's my first day/ night in Amsterdam. I was super nervous again since I would have needed to relearn how to get around the city here. But oh my, as soon as I got off the bus I knew I would like Amsterdam infinity times better than Brussels. It's so clean and sleek here! Plus, the people here are more willing to speak English with me. So I ended up not making the free European walking tour today but I made it my mission to at least do something I wanted to do here. I didn't want to let not having friends or anyone to rely on stop me from going out and experiencing Amsterdam. Long story short: I am glad I decided to do the canal cruise because I ended up meeting this nice Ukrainian man who spent the evening with me for a bit. We just ended up walking around a bit and ate a light dinner. He paid for my meal which was very nice of him. So I'm glad I befriended him since it did make my transition into Amsterdam a little easier. Tomorrow is the first day I have a full day's worth of activities planned out but that's because there's so much I want to accomplish in Amsterdam. So far, I love Amsterdam more so than Brussels. There's more to do here, it's cleaner, and more preserved historical culture. The only thing is that the weed stench is strong here. I shouldn't be surprised but I am because they're very open about it here. But that doesn't make me love Amsterdam any less. Again, cannot reiterate how glad I am to be on this adventure solo. It's taught me how to enjoy my own space and truly enjoy the present moment. Not worry about planning the next activity or how much time I have left. I have allowed my heart to guide me and the sun to tell me when it's time to go home.

[softlyou]

Day 2: Brussels 2017

Day two has been better. Waking up was hard because my body was still exhausted and I honestly didn't want to leave my Air Bnb. But I forced myself out of bed to make my walking tour. I ended up missing my walking tour so I stumbled across a Starbucks to just be in a familiar place to decompress since traveling to the city was already a struggle enough. After that, I ended up walking around and just went where my heart told me to. I'm glad I allowed myself to be open to my intuition because it ended up taking me to the Mannekin Pis, Grand Place, Chocolate Museum, Delirium Cafe, shops where I bought waffle and beer, markets, gift shops, and anywhere else my heart desired. Although I was alone for the most place, I never truly felt alone alone because I enjoyed my own company today. However, I did end up meeting some nice Belgian guys who helped me get around so I'm very grateful they were kind enough to go out of their way to offer me some help. Plus, it was nice to converse with them. Being in a country where English is not the native tongue has made me realized how useful it is to speak more than one language. How beautiful their accents are because they don't speak English as their first language, but also how intelligent and patient they are with people like me who can only understand English. I've picked up very basic French here but I don't plan on learning it. If anything, this is making me want to learn Vietnamese since I don't want to lose that part of my culture. These past few days haven't been easy, but it's well worth the adventures! I can't wait to go home and share my experiences with people.

[softlyou]

Day 1: Brussels 2017

Traveling alone isn’t as exciting as everyone makes it seem. It’s really not glamorous. Rather it’s dirty and grimy here. Being alone is hard and emotionally taxing. It’s only been a few hours in a new country but I already want to go home. I get looked funny or hassled for taking too long if I’m thinking of ordering something. It’s as if they can smell American tourist on me. And being a petite, Asian American woman who looks super young doesn’t help either! I’m currently sitting in a public library and I want to cry and go home now. But I can’t because this is only day one. Just trying to pass time by until I can check into my Air Bnb. I can’t wait to curl up in my Air Bnb room and just sleep the rest of the day away. So far this is not how I imagined my trip to be. Brussels isn't what I imagined it to be. I really just want to go home. Hopefully I’ll have a better perspective tomorrow. We’ll see.

[pisces-core]

[thepowerwithin]

You may not be there just yet. You may only be partway there, and that’s okay. That’s completely okay. You can’t be so hard on yourself. There are many things in life that take time, patience, and a great deal of hard work. What you’ve been doing has been paying off. It has. Repeat that to yourself. Keep up what you’re doing, and you’ll get there. You know where you’re going. Just please don’t give up. ~Nicole Addison

[ollebosse]

[purplebuddhaproject]

“As I grow older, much older, I will experience many things and I will hit rock bottom again and again. Again and again I will suffer; again and again I will get back on my feet. I will not be defeated. I won’t let my spirit be destroyed.”

—

Banana Yoshimoto

(via purplebuddhaquotes)

[thepowerwithin]

The love for yourself should run so deep that even the greatest of earthquakes would not be able shake.

Nicole Addison @thepowerwithin

[ink-and-oceans]

“Sometimes people just stop loving you and what hurts the most is when there’s no reason.”

— tara love / because then i have to ask what made you start loving

[ehinaaya]

Ehinaaya, The Essence of Heartbreak Page 170

[samxcamargo]

It had nothing to do with you. You are enough and you always were enough. He had covered his heart with ice, numbed himself. How could he feel love for you.. when he couldn’t even for himself?

Samantha Camargo

[slimegargoyle]

oh and since I’m acknowledging how young you all are: never ever ever ever ever ever under any circumstances alter your educational decisions for a boy 

[simon-lemon]

Even if it’s your father.

[witchoil]

Especially if it’s your father.

[feministism]

[joli--coeur]

reminder: what’s yours will be yours. no need to rush. no need to feel anxious. all good things take time. and when it does come, your heart will be so grateful. give it time. rest your mind. and enjoy the present moments.

[mjalti]

I know this is like extremely depressing lol but when I look at people I would consider dating/marrying, 1 of the “litmus tests” I have for myself is the answer to this question: “if this marriage were to fall apart, could I see myself coparenting successfully with this person?”

[mjalti]

There’s some people who are very petty and this is my first thought, just genuinely “if I married this person and we ended up divorcing, could I trust this person to provide our kids with a positive environment on their own/with a new partner, can I trust this person to raise these kids without trying to retailiate against me, could this person be trusted to watch out for the best interests of our children even if it included something he didn’t want to do” & let me tell u… so many people become unattractive when u get the answers to those questions

[parasocialanxiety]

#this is good advice even if you don’t intend to have kids

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