[thevisualvamp]

[moaza]

via Pinterest

[travalicious]

[rootbeergoddess]

Lizzo really is that bitch. God, I love this woman

[sydsliftingface]

not surprising based on her DNA test results

[swingsetindecember]

ok, i’m built like a noble ox. like i am 6′1 and i am sturdy lady. like thighs for days. if you try to move me. you will be moved. body images aside (lol, i am self conscious about my size, yeah it’s life) 

so like, i am very used to girls standing next to me in public places. i end up acquiring a pack of ladies. just because women are like, that lady is a lady men stay away from. i am jerk kryptonite (usually, i get my fair share of creeps, such is life) but most men have self preservation that this 6′1 ox will break them. and i will

so usually i am in my own phone and look up to another lady standing next to me. and i will immediately look up and make eye contact and nod. like, you know, that nod. i see you and you can talk if there is something wrong. i end up on a reg basis being a defacto bodyguard to these young ladies and small women while waiting for buses and in the metro. 

i am a large oak tree. i protect the other birds. 

ladies, we all got roles. find tree in the wild. we’re always happy to provide shelter from the creeps.

i’ve regularly said, “move on, she doesn’t want to be your friend”

[grimm-fairy]

I’m in love

[paranoidhousecats-deactivated20]

Story time: So I’m 6’2 and “big boned” as my mother would call it. This happens to me all the time and a couple years ago I managed to get the the front row of a Macklemore concert. This woman, probably 5’4, squeezes up next to me and says, “Hey, I’m here alone, do you mind if I stand in front of you?” Of course not. So we’re all having a good time, dancing around, when all of a sudden this Bro™️ is behind me telling me that I’m too tall to be in the front row and it’s not fair. Now, keep in mind that this concert was outside, in February, in Vail CO. It was FREEZING so not only am I of the stature I am but I had my hair up and a beanie on and a big coat and boots. We try our best to ignore him but Bro™️ is drunk and very clearly thinks I’m a man and proceeds to punch me in the back of the head.

LIL SIS WENT OFF, FOLKS. This tiny woman literally moved me out of the way, jumped up, and head butted Bro™️ in the face with such a fury. I thought she was going to kill him, it was truly a beautiful moment in my life.

The moral of the story is that for every tree in the wild there is a cute little birdy who will defend its shelter to the death. Stick together ladies👯‍♀️

[icescrabblerjerky]

NOW I AM IN LOVE.

[anexperimentallife]

This whole thread is cool and wholesome.

[acanthepeira]

My mom always taught me that complimenting someone over something they decided on, like an outfit they put together, is the nicest way to show your appreciation!

[mynameischynna]

God, I want Mamma Mia to become the Fast and Furious franchise of musicals. They just keep making them for no reason, and the more they make the more you don’t even care that there isn’t a plot.

You think we care about a plot? The first movie could have been solved in 2 seconds with a DNA test, but instead they decide to sing about how this girl doesn’t know which of these 3 men is her dad for 2 hours and in the end THEY STILL DON’T HAVE AN ANSWER. AND NO ONE CARES.

The plot is ABBA karaoke, and it brings me joy. That’s all you need to know.

[limonadaroja]

concept: walking around your own apartment in nothing but shorts and a lacey bralette, drinking coffee, a face mask on.

[requiem-4-a-drink-deactivated20]

hope your pets stay healthy in 2017

[rotg-fan-page]

I almost didn’t blog this and felt guilty

[ckascade-deactivated20170413]

Not risking it

[unorthodox-views]

hope ya pets even healthier in 2018

[pleaseexorciseme]

John Mulaney, a man who is iconically known for loving his wife, after being told by Jerry Seinfeld that his wife only thinks shes good at something

[jackironsides]

Well done OP, you’ve managed to capture the moment John’s spirit left his body

[ryrosryhoe]

Jerry’s lucky that John is too polite to throw hands

[bonepoem]

Okay but I just went and watched this for myself and it’s WORSE

He’s. So uncomfortable. It’s obvious. I cut out the part where John kind of muttered, “That is true, isn’t it” about how all men think they’re funny, but his face is just screwed up in this ‘oh god what have i done what have i signed up for this is not good and this will probably go into my next comedy special of awkwardness’

[jukebox-head]

Just watched this omg bless john bc jerry just keeps trying to do some “take my wife” bullshit and john very politely goes no, no.

[shoggoth-the-bitch]

This is why I always get upset when people try to paint John Mulaney as somehow bad. He’s so sweet and so polite and he. God. Damn. Loves. His. Wife. even if every other asshole in comedy goes on stage and says nasty shit about their own wives.

Woman or man, you go out their and find your own John Mulaney who will give you the respect you deserve, because you do deserve it.

[sweetoothgirl]

Blueberry Layer Cake

[prettystuff]

[markwatney]

somebody fucking save tan france

[somecutething]

[flirting-with-psychology]

The way John Mulaney speaks is the vocalized version of When You Capitalise Every Word Like This

[jaiwareham-deactivated20190303]

You’re Not Wrong

[isakthesnake]

when ur drunk in a club bathroom having a heart to heart with a girl you’ve never met before

[thedeadchinadoll-deactivated201]

[alittlebitoflace]

Pike Place Market (at Seattle, Washington)