arcanisdove

[watermelontuesdays]

AU where Shane and Ilya don't hook up or have a decades-long secret. They don't really know each other at all, except to play each other.

Shane comes out of the closet sometime after Scott does, and in some random, lighthearted interview, they ask him what he's looking for in a man. And Shane's just, off-hand like, "Well, he'd have to have at least one Stanley Cup. Obviously." And when he gets a good reaction from that, he keeps going, like "Needs to be amazing at hockey. Definitely needs to be at least an All-Star, if not a captain. Hot too. If he can't bench-press me, I'm not interested."

And it's all in fun, except two days after the interview prints, Ilya Rozanov shows up at his door like "knock, knock. I am here to apply for boyfriend position. Do you need resume? I brought my Stanley Cup ring, just in case."

[hardlyhinged]

Op’s tags

[aetrog]

does danny fenton as neal caffery in the batman fandom exist and if so where can i find it

[russianblush]

Best Lead Performer, Drama Series is....Hudson Williams!

[alien-slushie]

DP Idea/Prompt

Casper High started replacing "God" with "Phantom". It started because a teacher started screeching at them for "Taking the Lord's name in Vain" whenever they would say "Oh My God" or "Goddammit" or something similar, so instead they would say "Phantomdammit" or "Oh My Phantom". It kinda started as a joke, but as time went on it became second nature.

Heres the thing though: a lot of Spiritual Entities get their power through belief. By invoking Phantom's name in a way thats synonymous with a God's, Casper High inadvertently turned Phantom into a God/God like being.

So yeah, Danny is a God now, he low key hates it, and he blames Dash. Mostly out of spite.

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

reblog if you’re anti censorship and against harassing real people over fictional characters

[darlingofdots]

let's think of some Bits in the Hollander-Rozanov household because every good relationship needs incomprehensible and insufferable Bits:

the random Russian nouns as pet names, obviously

turning to Anya to arbitrate who won the race/loads the dishwasher correctly/scored a sexier goal etc

Ilya. Ilyusha. Ilyushenka. Ilyushenkechka.

and who won Rookie of the Year????

"I have never said this in my life"

threatening to tell Yuna

"pass me the remote?" — "come and get it" — [wrestling]

butt slapping. at every opportunity.

"we will have to shoot you like lame horse" when one of them gets so much as a papercut

idioms translated literally into the wrong language

"this is not hall of fame behaviour"

"who should I bring as my plus one" and listing random people while the other pouts

[blacksheepcolorfulskin]

WHY IS THIS SO GOOD?!

[akemi2003]

Fic prompt 69

Dpxdc

Do you all remember that episode of Danny Phantom where he finds out the “last male” purple gorilla is actually female and basically saves the entire species? (Yes, you do).

So. Consider this:

What if after that whole incident Danny realizes it wasn’t a one-off. It wasn’t just ghost empathy or a fluke. He actually understands animals. Like—full comprehension. Not vibes. Not guesswork. Actual body language processing.

At first he thinks it’s just ghost-adjacent nonsense. Some weird liminal side effect of being half-dead. But then he starts noticing patterns. Birds arguing about territory. Stray dogs giving eyewitness accounts. Rats with municipal-level gossip networks.

And once he severs ties with Amity Park (because let’s be honest, that town does not deserve him), he doesn’t go full broody hermit. He does something smarter.

Sam absolutely clocks the ethical implications immediately.

“Danny, this isn’t just a power. This is regulatory leverage.”

So with her pushing him (and probably handling the paperwork because you know he would not), he goes legit. Registers as a consultant. Animal behavioral analysis, ecological assessment, investigative audits. Zoos. Factory farms. Research facilities. Private estates.

Except he’s not analyzing behavior.

He’s taking testimony.

And suddenly exposés start dropping. Facilities shut down. Conditions improve overnight because word spreads fast in human spaces when a meta-human can walk into a building and say, very calmly:

“The tigers would like to discuss your ventilation system.”

He becomes a little famous. Not flashy Justice League famous. More like whispered-in-elite-circles famous. The kind of person corporations get nervous about.

Which is how he ends up in Gotham.

Cut to:

Danny standing in front of Wayne Manor after speaking to one of the Wayne pets.

He’s polite. Unbothered.

“Hi. So. Your bats asked me to visit.”

And somewhere deep in the Batcave, several hundred bats are absolutely losing their minds because FINALLY someone is listening.

Bruce is suspicious. Obviously.

Danny is just there like, “Sir, your microchiroptera community has notes. Mostly about the acoustics. Also one of them thinks you’re emotionally constipated.”

And honestly?

That’s how the Wayne family gets a consultant who doesn’t need hacking skills to uncover secrets.

He just asks the wildlife.

[fruitcakebro]

Damian opens a social media platform explaining medical stuff to people when he's in medical school. Thus ensue stupid questions.

"Does an autopsy hurt?"

Damian stares at the question for a moment, and then grins evilly. It's time to call in experts.

Damian: So. Yesterday I received a question asking if an autopsy was painful. I have never had one performed on me, so I cannot personally answer that question. Though I can say, I've had no patient complaints.

Damian: HOWEVER, to answer your question: I have called in a pair of experts.

Jason: I don't fucking know, I was unconscious?

Damian: Alright then, serves me right for considering Todd an expert in anything. Danny, does an autopsy hurt?

Danny(Having visible war flashbacks): Yes. Yes it does.

[mycatwalkspassme]

[signoraviolettavalery]

Still mad about how everyone treats Neal like he's a criminal and therefore a monster and a morally inferior human being who will always be less than

When he is actually one of the kindest, most generous people, who never steals for greed, who is more than happy to use his particular skills to help people he cares about and even people he barely knows, who abhors violence and guns, and who regularly puts himself at risk for the people he cares about. With his particular set of skills, courage, and drive, he could be running the world. He could be an evil fucking mastermind, with a criminal empire, except that he is unwilling to use violence or hurt truly vulnerable people and also he just doesn't want to. It's not in him. It's not who he is. He just wants to live his life.

Everybody be treating him like he's the worst criminal ever when he actively actually chooses not to be and if he did choose to be the worst criminal ever, well....you would deeply regret it. Like I don't think any of the characters realize how truly dangerous Neal could be if he wanted to be. Except he's never wanted to be.

[brucewayneswifey22]

Foolish

jack abbot x wife!reader

synopsis: jack abbot has had a shit day. luckily, his beautiful OBGYN wife is there to save his day.

contains: night crew!!, trinity santos being a menace, depictions of birth, jack being a simp, bad bitch reader, no use of y/n

note: first 'the Pitt' fanfic.

Being the lead OBGYN in PTMC emergency department was no easy feat. 

You constantly handled STIs, infected IUDs and the occasional birth, but it was otherwise pretty calm. 

They called you Bear, due to your calm yet assertive approach to distressed women. Not to mention it referred to ‘Mama Bear’, what almost all the interns and new residents called you at the insistence of Robby.

Overall, you truly loved your job. You got to spend time with women, babies, and your best friends.

Also, your husband worked in the Emergency Department, and you two always made it a show to flaunt your marriage in front of the residents. 

.

.

.

Jack was tired.

He got shot. No, wait. Shot at. There’s a difference. A clear difference that he would highlight in your eventual fight over it. 

Whatever, he was irritated as fuck. 

And now he had all the new gen residents bitching to him about going analogue.

He entered a trauma room, followed by Dr. Santos, Dr. Langdon, student doctors Ogilvie and Joy and senior resident Ellis. 

“Okay, Ms. Richards, can you tell us what happened?” He asked, frowning as he gazed over her chart. 

Right, a woman was currently crowning the ER. Not the best situation, but it is what it is.

The woman cleared her throat, sweaty and crying as she held her bump. “My…my water broke while I was taking a hike. I had to go all the way back down before calling 911. I passed out and here I am.” She wheezed out. 

Jack nodded, looking around. “Joy, what are we looking for?” He called out, gloving and gowning up.

“Uhm-”

“Chorioamnionitis. Her uterus may be infected.” Ogilvie cut her, looking over at Jack for approval.

The older man paused, dumbfounded at the cause. Great, Robby assigned him a Gunner.

Santos snorted from where she was getting the epidural ready. 

“We’re looking for horses, not zebras.”

The familiar voice made Jack’s muscles relax. 

The familiar pink scrubs appeared in the room. 

Everybody paused, before Ellis chuckled. 

“Thank God Dr. Abbot’s here, no offence Jack.” She snorted, already walking over to you instinctively. 

You breathed out a smile, pulling your hair off your face. “Thanks, Doctor Ellis.” 

You walked over to Jack’s side, giving him a teasing smile. “Dr. Abbot, what’s up with the patient?”

He cleared his throat. God, he’s whipped when you use that authoritative tone. 

“Well, she’s two weeks premature, and was having strenuous activity before the birth so that is the most likely cause.” You nodded, turning over to Ogilvie.

“She would be over 100 degrees if it were chorioamnionitis.” You explained dryly, checking the patient’s vitals.

“Dr. Abbot’s the expert here, dear future doctors. She's the head of OBGYN down here. She could probably birth triplets with her eyes closed.” Jack stated, trying to maintain an air of professionalism in front of them.

“I have. Remember Snowmageddon?” You said, nudging his side with your hip.

Langdon and Ellis, already used to all of this, were moving in tandem, while Santos, Ogilvie and Joy were nothing but flabbergasted. 

“Okay, Ms. Richards. I’m afraid we’ll have to give birth to your baby girl right here. You are much too fragile to go up to L&D.” With a sigh, you sat on the chair and rolled over between her legs, pushing your glasses up.

Santos, ever the chaotic good that she was, cleared her throat. “Doctor Abbot?” She called out.

Both you and Jack looked over to her, eyebrows raised. She paused, looking between the two.

“Mama Bear, epidural’s ready.” Langdon called out. You nodded, going over to ask the patient if she wanted an epidural.

She nodded, gripping the railing of the gurney.

“Okay, Dr. Santos, epidural.” You ordered, adjusting the lady’s legs on the stirrups.

“Are you two married?” Joy finally blurted out, looking between you two. 

You paused, turning over to Jack for his answer.

He paused before nodding, crossing his arms. “Yeah, yeah we are. She’s senior here though. She has about two years on me experience wise. But, yeah, we’re both doctor Abbot-”

“Honey?” You cut off his nervous rambling, looking up at him with those deep eyes of yours. 

He mumbled out a sorry, turning back to the patient as she pushed. “You guys can just call me Bear. That’s the nickname around here.” You mumbled, busy checking the dilation.

10 centimeters. Time to go.

“Uh, no. You guys call her Dr. Abbot. Just call me Jack.” Your husband protested, gulping at your cautious glance. 

Santos raised her eyebrows, surprised at the attending’s insistence on keeping your doctor title. 

“That’s some feminist shit.” She said under her breath, earning a “I know that’s right” from Ellis.

“One last push, Ms. Richards.” You assured, hands ready to catch the babe while everybody else gossiped.

Jack watched you, eyes observing reverently as you entered flow state.

That’s what he loved the most about you, how focused you were when you were working. 

The contrast of his beautiful and serious colleague from his caring and passionate wife always made his heart do a little twirl. 

At one point, Langdon and Santos started bickering before a sharp cry cut them off.

You cooed gently, wiping the baby’s eyes. “Langdon, 9:30.” You called out the time of birth, carefully cutting the umbilical birth while Ellis grabbed the baby, bringing her to her mama.

You turned to Jack, grinning. “Think we don’t need you here, Dr. Abbot.” You teased, waiting for the placenta.

He smiled, walking over to your side. “You sure, Dr. Abbot?”

“Yes, go help Robby. Poor man’s last day is already as bad as it can get.” You ordered, pressing a chaste kiss to his lips.

He blushed, nodding. “Yes ma’am.” He said with a small salute, leaving.

Trinity snorted, looking down at your expert hands. “That was so weird.”

“What? You’ve never seen Abbot act like a puppy?” Ellis snorted, holding the metal tray under the woman as her placenta spilled out. 

You always loved seeing the residents’ reaction to you and your husband. Nothing could replace the dumbfoundedness on their faces. 

Trinity nodded.

You sighed, sitting up with a backstretch. “He knows how to abandon authority when I’m around.”

Joy held back a grin. “That’s some Alpha/Beta shit, Doc.” She hummed, bursting out into laughter at Ogilvie’s reaction.

“I don’t even know what that is.” He grimaced. 

You shrugged, throwing your gloves out. “What can I say? A man who yearns is a man who earns, girls.” You said, walking out to go page L&D.

Trinity and Joy followed your figure, sighing. 

“I don’t know if I want to be with her or be her.” Joy frowned.

“Both. Definitely both.” Trinity agreed.

[creekbeds]

shawn hatosy arm appreciation post

[wowthatsextra]

this is the BEST DAY EVER I FEEL SO VINDICATED i wasn’t crazy to think that he was a baby 😭 it all makes sense now HE REALLY IS BASED ON A TODDLER

not my screenshot i would've just reblogged if i saw the original post! i googled it after seeing the caption to this post

[fandom-escapes]

Yes.

Agreed.

To all of it.

[widowsgay]

has this one been done?

[queerasbuck]

ok I know I'm late to the White Collar party but we all agree that neal and mozzie are queerplatonic life partners, yes?