clever lines

just the varied rantings of an almost 30 single mom ranging from fangirling over B99/NCISLA/Dramione/things not suitable for an almost 30 yr old to be obsessing over--

[exeggcute]

pandemic episode of malcolm in the middle: malcolm struggles to reconcile his commitment to quarantine safety measures with the fact that all the girls his age are so lonely and isolated that they're suddenly willing to go on dates with HIM, of all people. reese discovers that egging neighbors' houses still counts as a "socially-distanced" activity and has the time of his life. dewey does some mental calculus and realizes that he gets fewer wedgies per day from his brothers than he does from the school bully and decides he'll keep these lockdowns in effect at all costs, so he starts calling in fake pandemic data to local health districts to bump the numbers up. lois gets in a physical altercation with a non-masker at the lucky aide and starts duct taping people's mouths shut, which craig finds both alarming and oddly alluring. (craig then immediately gets infected from licking his hand to slick back his hair in a bid to impress her.) hal works from home but, after slacking off on the family computer all day, is driven to obsession by the thought of becoming the digital solitaire world champion.

[damianimated]

At Target this lady told her son he couldn’t have a Wonder Woman doll because “that’s for girls” and then bought her daughter the same one. It got me thinking about how often I see people bar young boys from appreciating girls/women as protagonists and heroes, and my own experience with it as a kid.

[pixiemals]

Our paper faces flood the streets,  And if the heat comes close enough to burn, Then we’re burning this place to the ground.

[scaredykyleisgonnagosoon]

So I was taught a lesson in how to get rid of a migraine in 30 seconds and omfg listen my migraines don’t go away ever but I was shown what part of my body to touch and like???????????????

It’s witchcraft????????? Like I would be burned at the stake if I lived in ye olde days knowing that information?????

What the fuck??????

[countrygirlil2015]

Spill it! Lol….Hooooowwwww?? Had migraines since age 9….😓😓😓

[scaredykyleisgonnagosoon]

Its called the T4 push, but I literally can’t find the info online????? I guess I’m not searching good enough? These medical fuckers are holdin out on us lol.

It’s best to have someone do this for you while you stand up and relax your muscles as best you can, but if you’re alone, a tennis ball and a flat surface will probably work. Alternatively you can lie on the edge of a bed at the pressure point. (But no really do try to find someone to do it for you)

Find the area in your spine between either the first, second, third, or fourth vertebrae. It should be sore and uncomfortable to press down on, so look for the one that’s most painful, and press down with as much pressure as you can on that area for 30 seconds.

Realize that 80% of your pain has magically disappeared and keep the info secret if you live in a small puritan town, lest you be tried for witchcraft.

If you don’t have to worry about being burned or hanged, then share the info with your migraine suffering friends.

[systlin]

As someone who wrote a 10k word paper on pressure points for a high belt ranking test in her martial arts class, I can tell you that you just found a pressure point used in acupressure and acupuncture to relieve pain, particularly that in the head. :)

[arirashkae]

Hand to god we discovered this by accident when my husband was rubbing my neck and I nearly collapsed it felt so good

[blame-my-muses]

This post was sent by literal angels??? I’ve had a persistent low-level headache for nearly 24hrs and now it’s gone??? In 30 seconds? What gods did you sacrifice to for this information!?!?

[river-rider-with-cats-deactivat]

As a medical massage therapist, I thought I would give my two cents.

This is good for tension migranes and normal migraines, but actually pretty useless for sinus migraines. It’ll help for a hot second, but quickly come back. (These are usually the migraines behind your eyes, in your ears, and behind your forehead. Sometimes it can feel like jaw pain or TMJ) for sinus migraines, behind the ear in a divot. Press down firmly and pull towards your collarbone. That’ll drain your sinuses. Also, pressing around the eye socket on the cheekbones help. There is also a little triangle up away from the eye in the eyebrow bone. Press and hold pretty hard and that’ll relieve that behind the forehead pain. Also, ear pulling is great to help move sinuses around.

Don’t forget the temples too! Press firmly and hold. Open and close your jaw while holding your temples. It’ll feel weird, but it’ll help with jaw pain. It’ll work a similar way if you hold the jaw joint under your cheekbone.

And never underestimate the power of a foot massage!! Give minutes can be all the difference!! Our feet are our base. If they hurt even a little, somewhere else in your body will hurt. Treat your feet and sinuses kindly!

[thenudewitchofthenorth]

As a lifelong sufferer from frequent migraines I will reblog this everytime I see it, for myself and my fellow sufferers!!

[alien-fanbitch]

As someone who suffers from migraines and TMJ this is actually really helpful information to know!

Thank you for this!

[siobhanblank-deactivated2019011]

I remember some YouTuber tweeting like “TV shows are too political these days old shows like Fresh Prince didn’t have all this sjw bullshit” and like the first episode will and uncle phil talk very sternly about malcom x

[mirukaiam]

If anything, sitcom shows even from Disney esp if they're black were bold in your face political about societal issues

[dont-at-m3]

ima just leave these here

[cosmoetherockcat-deactivated202]

Am I black? No, I’m as white as white bread, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care.

[ohthatbunnygirl]

In honor of Draco’s 40th Birthday.

Conplecto

In the morning, Draco makes his bed. 

The ends of his silvery-blonde hair hang over his bleary eyes when he crouches down to fit the sheet corners around the mattress. The hospital corner executed with extreme precision before he pulls the sheet over the pillows and then folds it neatly back. His hand smoothing over any wrinkles or bumps.

A spell exists to cut the chore down from six minutes into three seconds, but Draco uses his hands instead of a wand swish.

He carries on making his bed without the simple word that his mother taught him at age five, first performed at seventeen, and never once does he so much as mouth Conplecto.

________________________________ 

Capillus Radi

In the bathroom, Draco avoids eye contact with the mirror.

What’s there to see that he hasn’t seen before? What’s the point of falling back into the habit of spending hours in vain visitation with his infamous reflection when he can move forward- focus on something else that changed. He runs the tap, skims a razor down his almost as sharp jawline. The light dusting of overnight stubble on his skin shaved away-a careful sweep of the blade to high cheekbone to his sideburns. A tedious task demanding his full attention at seven am when he could easily buy an enchanted razor to halve his work, but Draco removes the hair the old fashioned way with a razor, shaving cream and patience. The option of using anything magical never once occurring to him, although his father gifted him an exquisite enchanted razor at sixteen that he taught Draco how to use with a proud smile. 

___________________________________ 

Lumos

In the kitchen, Draco follows the sound of humming.

It’s a muggle song about following the sun.

A catchy little ditty that he’ll now have hammering between his ears for the rest of the day, but Draco only briefly rolls his eyes- the act of being annoyed only inherited versus heartfelt since Hermione is wearing an apron and little else while busily cleaning her coffee mug in the sink. His lips curl at the sight of curls and bare back and long legs. She radiates light and cheeky charm. The scrap of lace covering her pert rear more than making up for the humming, and he hangs in the doorway to watch her- to think about which part of her he’ll kiss first. However, if the witch- who’s always had a weakness for mending broken boys- were fully clothed, he’d still forgive her for anything.

He wasn’t formerly known for forgiveness.

If you wanted spite, pride, and stubbornness, Draco Malfoy was your guy, but it took five years in Azkaban to learn forgiveness and how to forget what he’d learned from his parents. Five years without access to magic to rethink who he was- where he found his worth. What kept him from complete mental waste wasn’t found in wand flicks, and what kept him from bashing his head against the bricks didn’t have anything to do with keeping prejudices close. 

No, Draco Malfoy remained in one lightly battered piece by keeping his hands busy and appreciating the little things in life.

The ability to make his bed.

To shave his face.

To enjoy coffee with his wife who often makes him think of the word Lumos.

[beben-eleben]

For future reference.

[mollimassacre-deactivated201408]

Thank you.

[fuckyeahifightlikeagirl]

For those who would ever need it. -C

[rapeculturerealities]

reblogging here because i can see this being relevant to anyone who’s ever tried to get out of an abusive relationship

[directorlazard-deactivated20171]

Reblogging because that last comment made me reread the whole thing in a new light and realize this could be vital information. So, putting it out there for everyone, and hoping no one ever really needs it.

[super-wolves-blog]

REMEMBER THAT EPISODE WHERE REESE THOUGHT MALCOLM WAS GAY AND MALCOLM THOUGHT REESE WAS GAY AND THEY TALKED ABOUT IT BUT LIKE THIS I’M CRYING

[cockroach-queer]

I know I’ve reblogged this and commented before- but my favorite part is that immediately after this, Malcolm is like “so anyway I got you these” and hands Reese some pamphlets about accepting yourself as queer that he got from the guidance counselor, and Reese is like “oh, I got you these” and hands him a grocery bag full of gay porn.

[brightlotusmoon]

[soliloquytwenty-four]

Did this today 😬

[afeelgoodblog]

Damn girl

[livelovecaliforniadreams]

[frognonbinary-deactivated202412]

i’ve been doing my homework on how to break into a writing career and honestly. there’s a Lot that i didn’t know about thats critical to a writing career in this day and age, and on the one hand, its understandable because we’re experiencing a massive cultural shift, but on the other hand, writers who do not have formal training in school or don’t have the connections to learn more via social osmosis end up extremely out of loop and working at a disadvantage. 

[frognonbinary-deactivated202412]

like, i didnt know about twitter pitch parties!! i didnt know about literary agents and publishers tweeting their manuscript wishlist, in hopes that some poor soul out there has written the book they really want to read and publish!! this isnt some shit you learn about in school! you really need to know the ins and outs of the writing community to be successful! 

[frognonbinary-deactivated202412]

for anyone interested, here’s what i’ve learned so far in my quest for more writing knowledge:

1. Writer’s Market 2019 is a great place to start– it gives you a list of magazines and journals that you can send your work to depending on the genre as well as lists a shit ton of literary agents that specify what genres they represent, how you can get in contact with them and how they accept query letters. this is a book that updates every year and tbh i only bought it this year so i dont know how critical it is to have an updated version  

2. do your research. mostly on literary agents because if you listed on your site that you like to represent fluffy YA novels and some asshole sends you a 80k manuscript about like…gritty viking culture, you will be severely pissed off. always go in finding someone who you know will actually like your work because they’re the ones who will try to advocate for you in getting published.

3. learn how to write a query letter. there are slightly varying formulas to how you can write an effective query letter. you’re also going to want to get feedback on your query letter because its the first thing the literary agent will read and based on how well you do it, it could be the difference between them rejecting you outright and giving your manuscript a quick read

4. unfortunately, you’re gonna want to get a twitter. Twitter is where a lot of literary agents are nowadays, and they host things like twitter pitch parties, where you pitch your manuscript in a few sentences and hashtag it with #Pitmad #Pitdark, some version of pit. a lot of literary agents and publishers will ALSO post their manuscript wishlists, which is just the kind of books they’d like to represent/publish, and they hashtag this with #MSWL (it is NOT for writers to use, only for agents/publishers)

5. connect with other writers, literary agents, publishers at book events. you will absolutely need the connections if you want to get ahead as a writer. thats just kind of the state of the world.

[promptsforthesoul]

[theonottsadvocate]

My favourite dramione fics list for future references (because why not) and i'm bored so here we go :

1. Cruel and beautiful world - Lena Phoria

One of the first fics i read that dragged me into this dramione hole and for me,nothing can top this one. My all time # 1.

2. The right thing to do - Lovebitca8

This is THE fic i'd rec any dramione shippers. It's so good and i can't stress this enough,a MUST read!

3. Manacled - Senlinyu

Now this got me right in the feels. It's a dark one so i had to take a deep breath every once in a while. It's one of those stories that leaves you feeling empty after reading it. A great fic by an amazing writer !

4. Wait and Hope - mightbewriting

A recently completed fic that involves a memory loss. It's one of the most beautifully written fics i've come across. The writer made me feel all kinds of emotions and i just adore this one.

5. A wonderful caricature of intimacy - Countess of abe

A classic that i will never get tired of ! I loved it 3/4 years ago and i still do.

6. The fallout - everythursday

This is also one of the first ffs i read that quickly become one of my faves and the writer too,she's fantastic! (For the smut lovers!!)

7. Thirteenth night - nelpher

Love love love this one ! The one i always come back to when i'm out of fics to read.

8. A pound of flesh - Pennylin novus

Now we're talking!! The smut and the plot *claps slowly*

9. The auction - Lovebitca8

Have i mentioned how amazing this writer is? She's one of the best dhr writers imo. This is still wip but trust me,you don't want to miss this one.

10. Love and other misfortunes - Senlinyu

Again,one of my favourite writers! This fic got me hooked and rightfully so! I was almost ALMOST disappointed when the story ended😂

11. The eagle's nest - HeartofAspen

Lots of angst,lots of love and lots of great things! My darling Theo is also quite a pivotal character here so it's a win for me.

12. Static - Galfoy

Again,one of the classics! For the dark themed(kinda) lovers.

13. Looking glass - Kyonomiko

I loved every second of reading this one! The angst and the desperation ughhhhh

14. Distance - In dreams

Another great writer! For the adventurers :) I squealed when Theo appears. What can i say,he's my 2nd favourite Slytherin heheh

15. Apple pies and other amends - ToeatAPeach

A great read! Post war fic that deals with PTSD and other things. Just read it!

16. The revenant- atalanta84

An older one that i can't seem to let go of ! Highly recommend this one.

17. Isolation- Bex chan

I think everyone in the DHr fandom has already read this! No need of further explanation. Bex chan is the queen!

18. Howl for me - Kittenshift17

Likely abandoned fic but definitely a must read! For all the marriage law trope lovers!

19. Fixing what you broke - ladykenz347

A beautiful romance with a good amount of Drama. This is frustratingly beautiful and i love it.

20. Mine - Curiositykills

Another abandoned fic :( but it's original and great so you should probably just go for it! I absolutely love this one.

21. Nightmares and nocturnes - Oliviablake

A unique story that leaves you hanging and waiting for more in every chapter. And a great writer too!

22. The sacrifices we make - LR Earl

For the A/B/O trope lovers! This is the one.

23. All you want - Senlinyu

Another one of Senlinyu's. Truly an amazing writer. Again,for A/B/O enthusiasts!

24. The troublesome thing about time- ladykenz347

I looooove this fic! Ladykenz is another one of my favourite writers. She did an amazing job with this one!

25. Draconian- Hepburnettes

This storyline is a little similar to CaBW. It's a great fic which involves the Slytherin crew so what's not to love about it?

26. The risk reward ratio - MissiAmphetamine

Again another classic with lots of angst,hurt and romance! Just my cup of tea ; )

27. Chronos Historia- In dreams

Now,in_dreams fics are about to come! A unique and interesting plot with a sweet relationship development between d and h.

28. Proximate - In dreams

This writer is GOOD! One of my faves Post War fics!

29. Boardwalk - In dreams

Now,this had me grinning like a fool lmao. A light fic you should definitely read and add to your list

30. Queen of Swords - Ravenslight

A dark war fic which involves violence and torture. But fear not,it has a great unexpected plot and i love reading this! Go for it !!

31. The deadline - Lena Phoria

Lena has a place in my heart 😂💕 This has a whole lot of drama in it and it's one of the fandom favourites so i believe almost all of us have read it.

32. Hunted - Bex chan

Another one from Bex chan. Great fic,great writer,fan favourite,so on and so forth.

33. Better off forgotten- Delancey654

Another good one! It involves quite a bit of other characters but good nonetheless.

_________________________________________

34. The request - redhead414

35. When the bell tolls - everythursday

36. Summer of the dragon - Lena Phoria

37. Broken - inadaze22

38. Heavy lies the crown - floarcoaster

39. Waiting room - nelpher

40. Operation get Draco laid - In dreams

41. Five days - RavieSnake

42. Sweetly broken - ladykenz347

43. The alkahest - Shadukiam

44. Fall back down - LegilimencyMe

45. Alexander Draco Malfoy - Aoi Megami (abandoned)

46. Doppelgangland- DamnedScribblingWoman

47. The gloriana set - Thebemoon

48. This too is sacred - HeartofAspen

49. The best of me - MrsRen

50. The dragon's bride - Rizzle

51. Silencio - akashathekitty

52. Clean + Marked - Oliviablake

53. Bus stop - Marmalade Fever

54. Divination for skeptics - Oliviablake

55. Detraquee (wip/abandoned) - Hystaracal

56. Perfectly matched - silverstorme

57. Amateur cartography - worksofstone

58. Out of Order - worksofstone

59. Whisper - musyc

60. Oh my god they were roommates- Lovebitca8

61. Graveyard valentine- bex chan (the first ever DFF i read !!!)

Aaaaand i'm gonna continue adding to my list. Now for some reason,i cannot add the links but well if you see this,i include all the authors so hopefully it won't be so hard to look for these fics !

[outoftownicons]

✰ like this post if saving.

[pureblooder]

i’ve been consuming so much dramione fanfic i can’t even remember the original plot to harry potter anymore

[soliloquytwenty-four]

😂😂🤷🏽‍♀️

[bedbugbiting]

My face is having uncontrollable spasms. Great. It hurts really, really, really bad.

I think part of why I have trouble explaining pain to the doctor is when they ask about the pain scale I always think “Well, if someone threw me down a flight of stairs right now or punched me a few times, it would definitely hurt a lot more” so I end up saying a low number. I was reading an article that said that “10” is the most commonly reported number and that is baffling to me. When I woke up from surgery with an 8" incision in my body and I could hardly even speak, I was in the most horrific pain of my life but I said “6” because I thought “Well, if you hit me in the stomach, it would be worse.”

[bomberqueen17]

I searched and searched for the post this graphic was from, and the OP deactivated, but I kept the graphic, because my BFF does the same thing, uses her imagination to come up with the worst pain she can imagine and pegs her “10″ there, and so is like, well, I’m conscious, so this must be a 5, and then the doctors don’t take her seriously. (And she then does things like driving herself to the hospital while in the process of giving birth. Probably should have called an ambulance for that one!)

So I found this and sent it to her. Because this is what they want to know: how badly is this pain affecting you? Not on a scale of “nothing” to “how I’d imagine it’d feel if bears were eating my still-living guts while I was on fire”. 

I hate reposting stuff, but I’ll never find that post again and OP is deactivated, so, here’s a repost. I can delete this later, i just wanted to get it to you and I can’t embed images in a chat or an ask. 

[derryderrydown]

This is possibly why it took several weeks to diagnose my fractured spine.

[petralemaitre]

Pain Scale transcription:

10 - I am in bed and I can’t move due to my pain. I need someone to take me to the emergency room because of my pain.

9 - My pain is all that I can think about. I can barely move or talk because of my pain.

8 - My pain is so severe that it is difficult to think of anything else. Talking and listening are difficult.

7 - I am in pain all the time. It keeps me from doing most activities.

6 - I think about my pain all of the time. I give up many activities because of my pain.

5 - I think about my pain most of the time. I cannot do some of the activities I need to do each day because of the pain.

4 - I am constantly aware of my pain but can continue most activities.

3 - My pain bothers me but I can ignore it most of the time.

2 - I have a low level of pain. I am aware of my pain only when I pay attention to it.

1 - My pain is hardly noticeable.

0 - I have no pain.

[airagorncharda]

It’s also really important to get this kind of scale to people who have chronic pain, because chronic pain drastically lowers your perception of how “bad” any kind of pain actually is, and yet something like this pain scale is extremely user friendly. 

For example, if someone asked me how much pain I’m in at any given time, I’d say hardly any, and yet I’m apparently at a chronic 2.5, and it only goes up from there depending on the day. 

There’s also a similarly useful “Fatigue Scale”

[jedijenkins]

I haven’t been below a 5 on this scale for 4 years 

[nerdgasrnz]

Here’s the fatigue scale

[sunny-day-sky]

Fatigue scale image desc:

10: can barely move; can’t talk

9: can barely move; can talk

8: can move, but can’t do much more than watch TV

7: can watch TV and play a game on my phone simultaneously

6: can do work on my computer lying in bed

5: can get around the house, but definitely couldn’t go out

4: can run a light errand

3: can get in my 10,000 steps, making my fitbit happy

2: can do three or more activities in a single day

1: going clubbing!

[eruvadhril]

See also the Mental Health Pain Scale by Graceful Patient:

Mental Health Pain Scale transcription:

MILD

1 - Everything is a-okay! There is absolutely nothing wrong. You’re probably cuddling a fluffy kitten right now. Enjoy!

2 - You’re a bit frustrated or disappointed, but you’re easily distracted and cheered up with a little effort.

3 - Things are bothering you, but you’re coping. You might be overtired or hungry. The emotional equivalent of a headache.

MODERATE

4 - Today is a bad day (or a few bad days). You still have the skills to get through it, but be gentle with yourself. Use self-care strategies.

5 - Your mental health is starting to impact on your everyday life. Easy things are becoming difficult. You should talk to your doctor.

6 - You can’t do things the way you usually do them due to your mental health. Impulsive and compulsive thoughts may be hard to cope with.

SEVERE

7 - You’re avoiding things that make you more distressed, but that will make it worse. You should definitely seek help. This is serious.

8 - You can’t hide your struggles any more. You may have issues sleeping, eating, having fun, socialising, and work/study. Your mental health is affecting almost all parts of your life.

9 - You’re at a critical point. You aren’t functioning any more. You need urgent help. You may be a risk to yourself or others if left untreated.

10 - The worst mental and emotional distress possible. You can no longer care for yourself. You can’t imagine things getting any worse. Contact a crisis line immediately.

[kingspadedying]

These are so important! SO SO IMPORTANT SHARE THIS AND SAVE IT TO SHOW YOUR DOCTORS!

[naonic-blog-deactivated20230221]

John Oliver Buys $15M of Medical Debt for $60K and Forgives It All, Because He Could

Once again John Oliver proves that you can do anything with money and lawyers

[partisan-by-default]

Oliver then proceeded to detail how with $50 and knowledge of the law he was able to successfully apply online to create a debt buying company named “Central Asset Recovery Professionals,” or as Oliver put it, “CARP” named after “a bottom-feeding fish.”

After setting up a rudimentary website for CARP, the satirical, but still real company was offered a $15 million package of medical debt for $60,000.

Oliver explained that the debt was out of statute, which means it is the kind of debt that a collector can only continue to collect, but not sue the debtor for.

Then, instead of chasing down the 9,000 debtors in the debt package as a normal collection agency would, Oliver decided to stage the largest one-time giveaway in television history and work with the nonprofit RIP Medical Debt to forgive the $15 million with no consequences for the debtors.

[helloquirks]

Okay but now I know what I want to do of I get rich?

[beabaseball]

You dont have to be rich to do a bit of this actually

RIP Medical Debt is a charity (and therefore takes donations). They buy the rights to medical debt and then forgive them. So far they’ve forgiven over 1B in medical debt.

So a little ray of hope for someone out there today.